(Untitled)

[gaignun]

Second to last batch!

Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. Closed!

Comments

[chroma4hire]

Outs on Tsukumo, Yukari, and Rinali, the rest are in. I'll give crit if you want.

Tsukumo

[chroma4hire]

If you don't mind, I'd like to hear some crit please.

Re: Tsukumo

[chroma4hire]

Everyone's mentioned the off-screen action, and I also think there were a LOT of ellipses. Also, in your canon section you said she was cool and composed, but she doesn't seem to be much like that in your app. I know a cool and composed character can react differently to something that's absurd, but the key there is the execution of it, and you didn't really have that down right. If you reapp (which I hope you do), I would recommend having her stress at the situation build up as she tries to stay calm, then it backfires or something like that.

Re: Tsukumo

[chroma4hire]

She uses a lot of ellipses, but you bring up a good point, I think I overdid that as well. Thank you for your advice and crit, I certainly plan on doing reapping. :)

[bicycloptic]

In on Sapphire and Aleksandr. Abstain on Rinali and Trunks. Rinali, sorry about not getting back to you on the last draft you sent. If you reapp I'd be glad to help you out more and not be so failtastic.

[bicycloptic]

Oh, I don't think you're the failtastic one here. No worries about not getting back to me, your crit helped. I plan on reapping, thank you for the offer.

[bicycloptic]

You're welcome! ♥

[droid_rage]

asfj;as AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH

TRUNKS

[sparkurmisery]

Someone's getting their ass kicked~

[droid_rage]

NO I'M NOT which is one of the best parts~ I betad for this one, and they said that they're taking him from before he visits the past. SO UNLESS THEY CHANGE THEIR MIND... >D

[allira_dream]

... Well! =DD I am so gonna stalk those threads.

[sparkurmisery]

So Abstained on Sapphire and Yukari, in for my childhood crush-- I mean Future!Trunks, as well as Tsukumo and Aleksandr. Out on Rinali.

Tsukumo: You had a lot of off-screen action going on, which is what I think hurt your app, but I could hear the voice so I voted in.

Rinali: VOTING YOU OUT HURT MY SOUL, RINALIII... but that said, I think you went a little too 'macho Rinali' on the app voice and I just can't really hear her voice. Most of the time, Rinali doesn't sound that angry, and she's more the kind of girl who'd smile and pretend that she's not upset than to actually acting this directly on it(re: after Rewinding town, she just smiled at Allen and then ignored him, or how when she hits Rabi it's called 'Rinali's loving fists'). As I said, the whole tone just sounded way too angry for Rinali. Argh, it's late and I'm probably not explaining myself here, but if you reapp, feel free to hit me for beta!

[sparkurmisery]

OH YOUR POOR SOUL :( Thanks for the crit. To be honest, I really wasn't happy with this app, and I plan to reapp. Not having an exam two days before the app date should help me not fail so hard.

I reread D.Gray-Man and wrote down everything Rinali said, and you're right, she isn't that angry most of the time. When she's fighting akuma, she does get harsher, though it's a different harsh than I wrote. Like in the fight with Eshi, she goads him and tells him he's going to die here, but she doesn't get really angry like I made her in the app until near the end of the fight. I wanted to write more about her thoughts on her friends, and just make her character more substantial, one of my betas told me I wasn't bringing forth the kind side I talked about in canon. I tried to put this in, but then it got to like one in the morning where I was the day apps opened and I was just making the app worse. Sorry, I'm rambling here ^^;

I plan to reapp, thank you for the beta offer.

[unlistednumber]

Okay so!

Rinali, Yukari and Tsukumo - uh. basically I voted your apps in to encourage you to come back and try again. If you're looking for a beta, I'm not dreadful? And in Rinali's case, I'm canon familiar! But yeah, try again, and drop me a comment if you want to try again. ♥

Tsukumo

[unlistednumber]

I'm definitely reapping next round and I really appreciate your offer.

Re: Tsukumo

[nut_timesharing]

I'll see if I can get canon familiar between now and next round! Your canon's got to be on the internet somewhere. I BELIEVE.

Re: Tsukumo

[unlistednumber]

...you're too amazing haha. While I'm not going to push you into anything, it certainly is a nice read, so I'm not stopping you. ♥