(Untitled)

[gaignun]

Second to last batch!

Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. Closed!

Comments

[popcorn_chikn]

Ehehe. Tsukumo, Yukari, Trunks, Rinali out. Abstain on Sasha for beta (good luck ♥)

Tsukumo

[popcorn_chikn]

May I have some crit, if you don't mind?

Re: Tsukumo

[a_mighty_oak]

First off, I'm canonblind! I don't know how Tsukumo is supposed to be. But the voice in the app didn't seem to jive with the canon section. Especially this part: Tsukumo speaks using sophisticated forms of words--I saw none of that in the app! And found myself confused. Since I couldn't see the character described in the canon section in the app, I voted out. :x

Re: Tsukumo

[popcorn_chikn]

You make excellent points, I certainly overplayed an aspect of her's that isn't typically prominent. I knew I should've removed that useless line at the last minute. Alas, it doesn't help to think about it haha. Thank you very much, I understand better. :)

[acatisntfinetoo]

In for Sapphire, Trunks, Rinali, and Sasha; out for Tsukumo and Yukari. Like I said a couple posts ago, I'm bad at critting, but if you want, I'll give it a shot!

Tsukumo

[acatisntfinetoo]

May I have some crit please?

Re: Tsukumo

[acatisntfinetoo]

Sure! Akito pretty much covered it a couple threads up, to be honest. The one-sided dialogue got to be a bit much, and the flow felt jerky in places. I also noticed a couple of small grammatical errors, but I wouldn't have voted out if that were the only issue. At any rate, if you don't make it in, I hope you'll give it another shot! I'm kind of a failbeta, but I'd be willing to help out however much I can.

Re: Tsukumo

[acatisntfinetoo]

I certainly appreciate your feedback, and I've definitely narrowed it down to see that one-sided conversations... are my extreme downfall. Thank you, and for the offer, too.

[hisgirlfridged]

Sapphire, Tsukumo, Trunks, and Sasha IN! Yukari and Rinali were my OUTs, I believe.

Rinali

[hisgirlfridged]

May I ask for crit?

[copper_tops]

MARTYR SASHA, COME TO MEEEEEEEE

[copper_tops]

Outs for Tsukumo, Yukari, and Rinali. Everyone else is in.

omg sashaaaaaaaaa

Tsukumo

[copper_tops]

May I hit you up for some crit?

Re: Tsukumo

[copper_tops]

The canon section is strong, and gives a concise idea of what the canon is about and who Tsukumo is. Unfortunately, the idea of the character I got from the canon section and the voice I got from the sample did not match. The canon section had me thinking she'd be a cool, serious, stoic woman, while the sample felt more like an angry stubborn type of character.

That aside, I hope you reapp during our next camper round. She really does seem like a fun character to bounce off of.

[ovoretherainbow]

Out on Rinali, Yukari, and Tsukumo, rest in! Ask if you want~

Tsukumo

[ovoretherainbow]

Can I have some crit?

Re: Tsukumo

[ovoretherainbow]

Sure! As the others mentioned, it didn't really flow well. One-sided conversations for the whole of the app are really hard to pull off well, it seems.

Something that didn't really work for me, although it didn't really have anything to do with why I voted out, is, well, why would the gorilla try to use a tree as a stage? Gorillas are big enough that they really aren't that arboreal. Yes, I know that we're talking about a zombie camp that draws people from different universes, but suspension of disbelief can fail at the weirdest stages.

More importantly, the voice didn't quite match what you described in canon. Sure she comes off as without a sense of humor and a slight tendency to pick more advanced vocabulary, but the app is a lot more eccentric, and doesn't really match the cool and composed bit at all. The impression I got from the app is overly educated, naive and not in possession of a sense of humor, and very duty driven, but flaily. And I can't really vote in when what's in the canon doesn't match the app

Re: Tsukumo

[ovoretherainbow]

Silly thing is, I googled if gorillas could climb trees and I guess one thing lead to another. I must've forgot my common sense somewhere along the lines... I can't believe I actually googled that to begin with haha...

Thank you for bringing this to my focus. I certainly played her out strangely, and while she seemed in at least a little in voice, I must have been overdoing her particularly fidgety and irritable side by a lot more than I should have.

I'm grateful for you crit, and I most certainly will. Thank you. :)