Where was I?... Oh yes... Previously on camile_sinensis, the kindly and solicitous NHS had written to me to give me advance warning of their designs upon my pooh, and sure enough, on returning home from holiday, there was the jolly little pooh-kit waiting for me, complete with encouraging and informative leaflet on how to get my pooh out of my rectum and into ( Read more... )

Just back from two weeks holiday in Italy, where it was 35C, which is Too Hot. It's 11C* here in jolly Aberdeenshire, which is Too Cold ( Read more... )

The NHS has done it again! Another letter through the door with my name on! Who knew being over 50 would make me so popular? I had a teeny bet with myself as I ripped open the envelope that it would be yet another determined bid for my organs, but I was wrong! This time, they don't want my organs...

( They want my pooh )

Y Halo Thar Long-Neglected Live Journal Thingie, I have been most unkind to you and not posted for many a week. How can I make this up to you? I know! Have a new cat!


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The life of a middle-aged woman is neither interesting nor enviable. Bereft of both her decorative and reproductive functions, society tuts crossly at her for being such a waste of oxygen and attempts to extract some last vestige of utility from her, like a disgruntled cinema-goer sucking up the dregs of a Regular Diet Coke from the bottom of one ( Read more... )

Went to The Cheese Shop today, and it was full of Blokes. Blokes with the blokeish sense of entitlement vis-a-vis personal space in public places ("I have a penis, get out of my way") and blokes with that sort of blokeish nerdism which is usually focused on hifi equipment and filing records in alpha-chronological order, but around Christmas ( Read more... )

I have lived in Local Town for eighteen-and-a-bit years. Today I went into a shop in Local Town that I have never been in before. It's not hidden up a side street or otherwise inaccessible - it's right there on the High Street, just across from the Chemist and next to the bank. It is the Drapers Shop ( Read more... )

Yes, it's very sad that Steve Jobs is dead, but as we fight back the tears and negotiate our way through the Princess-Diana level outpouring of international grief, complete with testimonials from owners of Apple computers eager to reassure the world at large how much better their machines are than those awful, common PCs, I can no longer contain ( Read more... )

This week we are in Port de Soller (aka Puerto Soller, Porto de Soller - it seems not uncommon for places to have two or three vaguely similar names in Spain, but it doesn't seem to do any harm ( Read more... )

It being That Time Of Year again, I have been dragged screaming from the depths of my comfy chair and forced at knifepoint to suffer sea, sand, Sangria and sun. Yes, here I am, basking under the Majorcan sun. Pity me.

To be more accurate, I am not so much basking as cowering, as my good, traditional Scottish skin doesn't do basking, it does ( Read more... )