-
I was Always Your Clown.
I can feel fall in my bones. It's colder, the air is crisper. I like it. I'm going to try tomorrow. Today was a decent day. Basically slept most of the day trying to recover from drinking jungle juice with Alex, Sarah, and Mom last night. We had a good time. And I honestly don't mind what Alex said just being drunk and trying to be silly. I think ( Read more... ) -
Moment of Doubt.
Part of me thinks who am I to think I can do this? There are so many more talented people out there. So many people who have stronger skill sets and more experience. So many people with harder lives who may deserve the spotlight more than me.But I think again the app instagram just has my mind set on these things and my mind wrapped around fame and ( Read more... ) -
Clippings of Who I want to be.
Today was a decent day. Made decent money at work, had nice enough tables. Old trio with an old man who was understanding about Denise the cook overcooking his steak. Another older trio who used to be the principal of co-worker Kassie's school. They joked with me and his mother was funny and had a good sense of humor for one so ancient. They tipped ( Read more... ) -
Then If you go I'll understand leave my just enough love to hold in my hand...
It certainly feels like the end of days in this house. Kate is geriatric and living on "borrowed time" as Dad would put it. We have cockroaches. And our AC is out and it's Hot out. I always feel better about work when I make money. It's sad how money can make you happy. It's freedom. I think next week I am really going to try. HAH we shall see. We ( Read more... ) -
Deadly Night Shade
I wonder why I haven't really done as much as I wanted to with my two days off.... the answer is lack of sleep led to my days being all fucked up. So my days turn to sleeping when sleep inevitably hits me and feeling too tired to do much. I did stuff on monday though. I need to grow the fuck up and get a handle on it. I am in my own way and always ( Read more... ) -
"SpulGhetti!!!"
Update: tonight's shift went really well. I was able to avoid parties and pick up tables at the booths of the people who took the parties. I felt more uplifted to be there. Felt happier, like I did when I first started. I was able to help people out more because I essentially only had three four top booths all night. I was able to take good care of ( Read more... ) -
You said you're always on my side But what if my side has lived too long? Something has to die
Not wanting to work tonight. Last night was just a bad night, people have them even you. I am just really tired of my money being based off peoples opinions of me. I feel like I am getting too old for this. Like physically sure I can do it. But mentally I am just yearning to have some sort of trade so I can be paid for my work and not just whether ( Read more... ) -
That's So Us.
I miss that magic of being young when things were carefree and a lot of things were still a mystery. When you still had secrets inside of you. And you'd be surprised when you found them out. When life was an escape just hanging out with your friends who randomly pulled up to your house just to drive around. I think that's why a lot of people get ( Read more... ) -
I don't want to call my friends, they might wake me from this dream.....
Here I am again. It's that late night. I'm taking a little break from drag maybe for a month atleast performance wise. Time to go into the hyperbolic time chamber. I really want to style some of my wigs change up my makeup a bit. Maybe even avoid some of that stuff for a couple weeks. Focus on gifts for my friends. Focus on finishing the blue ( Read more... ) -
SINS.
A photoshoot just seems out of the question at the moment. I'd like to though. I don't know. I just can't seem to work up the motivation. I just have all of these dreams and ideas and I feel like I won't live them out. When I do when I have in the past they have been different then what I expected but almost better because I actually did them. I ( Read more... )