I was Always Your Clown.
I can feel fall in my bones. It's colder, the air is crisper. I like it. I'm going to try tomorrow. Today was a decent day. Basically slept most of the day trying to recover from drinking jungle juice with Alex, Sarah, and Mom last night. We had a good time. And I honestly don't mind what Alex said just being drunk and trying to be silly. I think what bugs me is that that term is still seen as being offensive. I guess sometimes I wish I could change so that this term wouldn't have any power of me period. It really doesn't have much power over me in the first place. But it carries power in other people's minds. I know it's awful but sometimes I'd rather be thinner because it seems like a currency in this world. I want to be thinner to get ahead, so I can get away with murder easier. It seems like this psychosis for everyone around me. People obsessing over it. I get so over it and my soul dies when people start talking about what they are doing to be "healthier" aka SKINNIER. I almost want to do it just to show people THERE I DID IT. IT AIN'T THAT HARD. But the problem is it IS that hard. I am happy with myself and happy with my body. I am happy I have a body that works. It may not be someone's idea of perfect or sexy or worthy but it is worthy to me because it works. And I am thankful for that.