In My Heart (7/?)
Title: In My Heart (7/?)
Pairing: Minho/Taemin
Genre: Angst
Rating: PG 15
Summary. It's been too long, Minho can no longer hold back his feelings. He just wished to have Lee Taemin to back even for a day.
In My Room | Previous Chapter | Next Chapter
-Minho POV-
I held on his soft hand and interlocked with his finger as we ran across the vast land. The grass beneath us was soft, even if we were bare on our foot it doesn’t feel painful at all. The sun was shining comfortably on the land we were on, just like a dream… This is a kind of dream that I hope it would last forever.
If I wish to prolong this dream, perhaps a coma would be the best choice. Who knows I may never get tired from such a beautiful dream, as long as he’s here… I’m contented. We both decided to settle down near a big tree that was in the middle of that beautiful land. You laid down by my side, your hand still interlocked with mine. I stared at you, your usual smile appeared in front of my eyes… How long… How long have I been missing this kind of smile?
“Taemin…” I know somehow you were the Lee Taemin I love and not the Shin Taemin. I would choose to believe my sixth sense that it’s you Lee Taemin. If I don’t trust my sixth sense, at least I would trust my heart and my heart is telling me that it’s you… Your smile was filled with indescribable sadness, I embraced you tightly in my arms.
If I have protected you back then, I may never have to feel the pain when you departure from my life. I felt that you were trying your best to push me away. Are you leaving? I grabbed your wrist as soon as you got up on your feet. I summon all my strength to pull you back.
“Minho.” I pressed your head on my shoulder, tightens the grip around your waist. When I open my eyes, I wasn’t at the grassland anymore. I don’t care, as long as he’s here. I don’t fucking care where I am. You were still struggling in my arms, trying to escape from me.
I lost my sanity. Although I know I’m back in the reality, I still selfishly want to mistake you as my Taemin. You are really driving me to an end.
“Please… Just for a little while.” I desperately pleaded for your understanding. In some way, I know you were slightly more mature that my Taeminnie. I guess you won’t misunderstand me, right?
Like what I said last night, I drove him home immediately after breakfast. He never utter a single word about the hug in the morning, neither did he acted weird or strange. Why am I hoping he would act weird and all? I must be getting out of my mind but I think I already have lost my mind. I was following him back to his apartment. What the hell did I even tag along when he ask me to? It’s just that I didn’t have enough sleep, that’s why…
“Minho, can you wait a little while here?” I nodded again, since I’m already up here. No harm done staying here a little longer. But there were so many chances before, why today? He came out with an oversized button shirt and a boxer that was well hidden under that shirt. Why did he even bother buying an oversized button shirt? He straddled on my hip and sat on my lap.
“I didn’t prepare any Valentine’s Day gift, so I decided to give myself to you.” Wait. Wait a minute. Did I just hear what I thought I did? His thin fingers unbuttoned the first one, exposing clearly his collarbone, the second one which showed more of his chest. I grabbed his hands to stop him from continuing. I can’t deny that I felt something seeing him like that, but. We weren’t lovers. We can’t do what only lovers do.
Even if he can, I can’t. I can’t betray Taemin.
“I rather you don’t give me at all.” He understood my rejection and buttoned up his shirt. Was that a sigh of relief? Did he just played with me or trying to tease me? I shouldn’t forget, it’s his way of life.
“I changed my mind, I don’t mind staying at home for the whole day.” I flipped him down on the sofa, trapping him under me. I unbutton his shirt, hoping to see a slight change in his expression. At least horrified or shocked. I was already four buttons down still not even a slight change.
Maybe my eyes were playing tricks on me.
I got off him and moved myself to another couch. What was I thinking back then? I massaged my forehead, I’m just tired. That’s all. He slowly sat up, I didn’t dare to look into his eyes. I don’t know what I was afraid of.
“How about I be Lee Taemin for a day? Count it as a way that I thank you for everything that you do.” Should I be selfish even just once? He is willing to be Lee Taemin and not Shin Taemin. So even if I acted close to him is because he was Shin Taemin acting as Lee Taemin… Right? I’m not selfish right? I didn’t force him to be who he was not.
He left the room once again. I guess he changed his mind. Who will be willing to act as someone he can’t be? A shirt flew towards me, I managed to catch it on time. I looked at Taemin once again…
“Minho hyung! Get changed and let’s go.” Did he have that wig before hand? Taemin’s blond hair was well hidden underneath the black wig. The shirt that he threw to me was a couple tee that matched his. He wasn’t wearing any of that skinny with holes… It’s a normal jean. I quickly changed into the couple tee and left the house with Taemin.
Just a day, at least ease my pain of missing him for just a while.
I expected him to give up half way in acting Lee Taemin but no, he didn’t. Maybe because he was so into being Taemin, I couldn’t help myself to give him the usual caressing of hair I gave to Taemin. At least I didn’t kiss him like I would if he’s so cute. Actually the whole date was like a replica of the past.
It’s a past that can only stay as a part of my memories. I did want to make the dating process different but still I brought him to the same theme park, playing the same game and getting in every ride with the same sequence as that date I have with Taeminnie. I just can’t help myself. I just want the same thing to happen, I want to get those feelings back… But whenever I get close or the feeling was there, a touch from him pull back my senses and destroyed all the feelings.
It’s not what I wanted. It’s not what I planned.
Maybe I should stop here, everything shall stop here…
“Let’s go Taemin, it rather late now.” I pulled him along with me but he stubbornly stood still. I turned to look back at him. The sense of familiarity crept back to me.
“Minho hyung~ Can we have one more ride before we got home?” Those exact same words and eyes…
“Minho hyung~ Can we have one more ride before we go home?” His puppy eyes were staring at me, how can I say no to those eyes? He was pulling on my sleeves whining like a kid. I don’t really hate him when he does that, more of I can’t reject him whenever he does that.
“Okay. This is the last one. Where do you want to go?” I tried to change my sentence, I hope things won’t turn out the same way. But was it what my heart really wants?
“Alright. This is the last ride, where do you want to go?”
“The ferris wheel!” It’s a really mixed feeling, should I be happy if history repeats? The aching pain tells be the other, I can’t make myself happy at all…
“The ferris wheel!” He pointed to the tallest structure around. Did he went on internet and learnt some things that illogical? But, if it’s what that can make him trust our love more, it doesn’t hurt to do it, isn’t it?
The last stop where date always ends, the Ferris wheel.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I don't know if anyone follow me a tumblr, but thanks a lot for those who follow me at tumbr ^^
Just here to say, I'm joining Challenge 10 @ Shawol_haven so do vote for me if you like my story. :D
I'm going post up tomorrow the challenge fic since my beta is currently busy beta-ing!
It's hard on you~
It's less than a month before school starts and I get busy
Title: Loving Alive
Author: stupidbakau
Pairing: Minho/Taemin, Taemin/Jonghyun, Jonghyun/Kibum
Rating: NC-17
Genre: Angst
Wordcount:
Prompt: Picture + Prompt
Disclaimer: I do not own anything neither the prompt or the picture only the plot.
Warning: Swearing, despair, male prostitute, teasing
The moment one begins to love another is when one starts to live alive. This is how I see the prompt~ kekeke
If you enjoy or like the fanfic "Loving Alive", please vote for me HERE!
If you send me a message, PLEASE PLEASE note that you set the setting so that I can reply your message >.<
Pairing: Minho/Taemin
Genre: Angst
Rating: PG 15
Summary. It's been too long, Minho can no longer hold back his feelings. He just wished to have Lee Taemin to back even for a day.
In My Room | Previous Chapter | Next Chapter
-Minho POV-
I held on his soft hand and interlocked with his finger as we ran across the vast land. The grass beneath us was soft, even if we were bare on our foot it doesn’t feel painful at all. The sun was shining comfortably on the land we were on, just like a dream… This is a kind of dream that I hope it would last forever.
If I wish to prolong this dream, perhaps a coma would be the best choice. Who knows I may never get tired from such a beautiful dream, as long as he’s here… I’m contented. We both decided to settle down near a big tree that was in the middle of that beautiful land. You laid down by my side, your hand still interlocked with mine. I stared at you, your usual smile appeared in front of my eyes… How long… How long have I been missing this kind of smile?
“Taemin…” I know somehow you were the Lee Taemin I love and not the Shin Taemin. I would choose to believe my sixth sense that it’s you Lee Taemin. If I don’t trust my sixth sense, at least I would trust my heart and my heart is telling me that it’s you… Your smile was filled with indescribable sadness, I embraced you tightly in my arms.
If I have protected you back then, I may never have to feel the pain when you departure from my life. I felt that you were trying your best to push me away. Are you leaving? I grabbed your wrist as soon as you got up on your feet. I summon all my strength to pull you back.
“Minho.” I pressed your head on my shoulder, tightens the grip around your waist. When I open my eyes, I wasn’t at the grassland anymore. I don’t care, as long as he’s here. I don’t fucking care where I am. You were still struggling in my arms, trying to escape from me.
I lost my sanity. Although I know I’m back in the reality, I still selfishly want to mistake you as my Taemin. You are really driving me to an end.
“Please… Just for a little while.” I desperately pleaded for your understanding. In some way, I know you were slightly more mature that my Taeminnie. I guess you won’t misunderstand me, right?
Like what I said last night, I drove him home immediately after breakfast. He never utter a single word about the hug in the morning, neither did he acted weird or strange. Why am I hoping he would act weird and all? I must be getting out of my mind but I think I already have lost my mind. I was following him back to his apartment. What the hell did I even tag along when he ask me to? It’s just that I didn’t have enough sleep, that’s why…
“Minho, can you wait a little while here?” I nodded again, since I’m already up here. No harm done staying here a little longer. But there were so many chances before, why today? He came out with an oversized button shirt and a boxer that was well hidden under that shirt. Why did he even bother buying an oversized button shirt? He straddled on my hip and sat on my lap.
“I didn’t prepare any Valentine’s Day gift, so I decided to give myself to you.” Wait. Wait a minute. Did I just hear what I thought I did? His thin fingers unbuttoned the first one, exposing clearly his collarbone, the second one which showed more of his chest. I grabbed his hands to stop him from continuing. I can’t deny that I felt something seeing him like that, but. We weren’t lovers. We can’t do what only lovers do.
Even if he can, I can’t. I can’t betray Taemin.
“I rather you don’t give me at all.” He understood my rejection and buttoned up his shirt. Was that a sigh of relief? Did he just played with me or trying to tease me? I shouldn’t forget, it’s his way of life.
“I changed my mind, I don’t mind staying at home for the whole day.” I flipped him down on the sofa, trapping him under me. I unbutton his shirt, hoping to see a slight change in his expression. At least horrified or shocked. I was already four buttons down still not even a slight change.
Maybe my eyes were playing tricks on me.
I got off him and moved myself to another couch. What was I thinking back then? I massaged my forehead, I’m just tired. That’s all. He slowly sat up, I didn’t dare to look into his eyes. I don’t know what I was afraid of.
“How about I be Lee Taemin for a day? Count it as a way that I thank you for everything that you do.” Should I be selfish even just once? He is willing to be Lee Taemin and not Shin Taemin. So even if I acted close to him is because he was Shin Taemin acting as Lee Taemin… Right? I’m not selfish right? I didn’t force him to be who he was not.
He left the room once again. I guess he changed his mind. Who will be willing to act as someone he can’t be? A shirt flew towards me, I managed to catch it on time. I looked at Taemin once again…
“Minho hyung! Get changed and let’s go.” Did he have that wig before hand? Taemin’s blond hair was well hidden underneath the black wig. The shirt that he threw to me was a couple tee that matched his. He wasn’t wearing any of that skinny with holes… It’s a normal jean. I quickly changed into the couple tee and left the house with Taemin.
Just a day, at least ease my pain of missing him for just a while.
I expected him to give up half way in acting Lee Taemin but no, he didn’t. Maybe because he was so into being Taemin, I couldn’t help myself to give him the usual caressing of hair I gave to Taemin. At least I didn’t kiss him like I would if he’s so cute. Actually the whole date was like a replica of the past.
It’s a past that can only stay as a part of my memories. I did want to make the dating process different but still I brought him to the same theme park, playing the same game and getting in every ride with the same sequence as that date I have with Taeminnie. I just can’t help myself. I just want the same thing to happen, I want to get those feelings back… But whenever I get close or the feeling was there, a touch from him pull back my senses and destroyed all the feelings.
It’s not what I wanted. It’s not what I planned.
Maybe I should stop here, everything shall stop here…
“Let’s go Taemin, it rather late now.” I pulled him along with me but he stubbornly stood still. I turned to look back at him. The sense of familiarity crept back to me.
“Minho hyung~ Can we have one more ride before we got home?” Those exact same words and eyes…
“Minho hyung~ Can we have one more ride before we go home?” His puppy eyes were staring at me, how can I say no to those eyes? He was pulling on my sleeves whining like a kid. I don’t really hate him when he does that, more of I can’t reject him whenever he does that.
“Okay. This is the last one. Where do you want to go?” I tried to change my sentence, I hope things won’t turn out the same way. But was it what my heart really wants?
“Alright. This is the last ride, where do you want to go?”
“The ferris wheel!” It’s a really mixed feeling, should I be happy if history repeats? The aching pain tells be the other, I can’t make myself happy at all…
“The ferris wheel!” He pointed to the tallest structure around. Did he went on internet and learnt some things that illogical? But, if it’s what that can make him trust our love more, it doesn’t hurt to do it, isn’t it?
The last stop where date always ends, the Ferris wheel.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I don't know if anyone follow me a tumblr, but thanks a lot for those who follow me at tumbr ^^
Just here to say, I'm joining Challenge 10 @ Shawol_haven so do vote for me if you like my story. :D
I'm going post up tomorrow the challenge fic since my beta is currently busy beta-ing!
It's hard on you~
It's less than a month before school starts and I get busy
Title: Loving Alive
Author: stupidbakau
Pairing: Minho/Taemin, Taemin/Jonghyun, Jonghyun/Kibum
Rating: NC-17
Genre: Angst
Wordcount:
Prompt: Picture + Prompt
Disclaimer: I do not own anything neither the prompt or the picture only the plot.
Warning: Swearing, despair, male prostitute, teasing
The moment one begins to love another is when one starts to live alive. This is how I see the prompt~ kekeke
If you enjoy or like the fanfic "Loving Alive", please vote for me HERE!
If you send me a message, PLEASE PLEASE note that you set the setting so that I can reply your message >.<
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