In My Heart (6/?)
Title: In My Heart (6/?)
Pairing: Minho/Taemin
Genre: Angst
Rating: PG 15
Summary: Shin Taemin can never take over the place Lee Taemin is in his heart.
In My Room | Previous Chapter | Next Chapter
-Minho POV-
I sat near the bar counters again, somehow my knowledge of Taemin seemed to be too little. Shin Taemin… You are such a mystery. You suddenly appeared in my life, teasing me… Kept pulling back the memories I have with Taemin… Why, why does your every action have to do with Taemin? Why do you bother trying to find out about my life? Why do you know so much of me, as if you had lived with me once?
Maybe Heechul would know about your life more…
“Hyung… Do you know about Shin Taemin?” He mixed up the last drink and passed it to one of the waiter there. He ponders for a moment before answering to my question. Was it so hard to find out things about Shin Taemin?
“Shin Taemin… He is my cousin.”Then, does that mean you would know a lot of things about him? But not all cousins are close right? But if the person is Heechul hyung, he would know everything.
“Can you tell me more, hyung?” He seemed a little hesitant, is it something that he can’t tell me?
“Well… Taemin told me once not to tell you anything.” Why? Why does he want to keep his past from me? Is there something I shouldn’t know? Why did Shin Taemin even know that I would ask Heechul about him?
“But please Hyung, tell me. It’s not fair that he knows everything about me yet I only know he works here and his name is Shin Taemin.” Heechul pursed his lips, too bad I don’t have puppy eyes like Jonghyun hyung or I could get him talking even much faster.
“I will only tell you a little of him. For things that I didn’t tell you, you will have to wait for him to open up for you.” I nodded, at least it’s better than nothing.
“Well, I didn’t really watch him grow up, only came to know his name is Shin Taemin.” Does that mean you didn’t get to see him at all?
“So you didn’t know he look like Taeminnie?” He shook his head.
“I don’t… So far all these year I only managed to hear about their family… ” That’s why when you saw my Taeminnie you didn’t say anything… Two people with the same name, look alike… I couldn’t believe it at all until Shin Taemin came in my life and proved me wrong…
“What about his family?” His family, something about his past and childhood…
“Both his parents are busy business man and woman. They are too busy flying around countries to countries, leaving Taemin all alone in Korea. To what I know, Taemin couldn’t bear the loneliness he felt when he is at home, he moved out to the apartment that he is currently staying.” But it doesn’t really change the fact that he lived alone… But did he cut himself because he felt lonely?
“I only get to see Taemin when he came here to work about six months ago. I really never knew he was such a great dancer like Taeminnie…” Its true Shin Taemin is a great dancer, but how… How was it possible for two guys to dance so alike?
“How about the scar?”
“He had it before he came here working. I tried asking him, he doesn’t say a thing about it. That’s about it. The things I can say and I know.” At least I know about Taemin’s basic information, at least it’s no longer just. Shin Taemin, someone who look alike to Taemin.
“Thanks hyung.” I really thank him from the bottom of my heart. Maybe Taemin did suffered, just that he doesn’t say or show… But what could be the reason? It really makes me wonder…
His smiles hide his fear and sorrow, loneliness has created his outgoing attitude. That’s why he’s so playful, that’s why he seeks for attention, isn’t it?
“Let’s go.” His cheery tone travels in my ear. After knowing how lonely he might be feeling during his childhood, it really changed the way I look at him… He doesn’t really wish to seduce people like this, he just wants to hold back someone to keep him accompanied. If he doesn’t feel lonely, then he won’t go around seducing people..
“Can I bring you somewhere?” He turned to look at me, with a shocking look before it turns to a smirk. He stepped closer to me, wrapped his arms around my neck. Okay, did he misinterpret my meaning?
“Your house?” I pulled away his hands that were around my neck, I guess he did misinterpret my meaning.
“Yeah. I want you to meet someone.” I make it sound so secretive; he looked at me full of question.
“To see your mom?” Well, Key is Taemin’s umma, I guess he’s my mom.
“Yeah, my mom.”
“I’m back.” I find Taemin rather timid at this point of time, he pulled the back of my shirt, using my body to hide himself. Key and Jonghyun were both lazing on the couch before they both turned around.
“Welcome home, Minho.” Kibum greeted. He managed to see someone hiding behind me so he was giving me weird stare.
“Key hyung. This is Shin Taemin.” I managed to push Shin Taemin to my side. Why did he become too shy to meet people? It’s not like him.
“Tae… Tae… Taemin…” Kibum gasped unbelievingly. I saw Jonghyun holding Kibum’s arms, nudge him not to be so obvious at staring Taemin.
“Hello, Key hyung and Jonghyun hyung.” His voice seemed to be not that cocky kind of tone.
“Sorry for staring you like that. It’s just that… just that…” It was the first time seeing Key spluttering like that.
“I know, I look like Lee Taemin. Right?” Key nodded immediately. I know exactly how Key feels. Seeing Shin Taemin was like seeing Taemin soul standing there… As if he didn’t died from the accident… But it’s impossible when I was the one who let him return back to heaven. He’s an angel from heaven, he has to return back one day, isn’t it?
Both of them kept quiet, not uttering a single word. Jinki came out from his room, breaking the silence.
“Key, have you see my… my… Taemin?” Taemin bowed 90 degree to Onew. Taemin is being too polite today… Did he change his attitude because he thought he was meeting my family? Or I’m just thinking too much? Maybe I’m really thinking too much.
“Hello, I’m Shin Taemin.” I ruffled his head, I guess this was kind of awkward. I shouldn’t have brought him here…
“ Jinki Hyung, don’t keep staring at him.” Jinki nodded and turned his gaze back to Key. Key walked towards Taemin, I really hope he doesn’t do anything to scare Shin Taemin.
“Taemin, do you want to stay for the night? It’s rather late now… It won’t be safe to go home.” Taemin looked at me, was he asking for my permission? His eyes were like asking me or was it begging me to say yes? Why does this resemblance like Taemin’s eyes… Whenever he begs me to buy something for him or bring him to somewhere.
“Minho hyung~ Can we have one more ride before we go home?” His puppy eyes were staring at me, how can I say no to those eyes? He was pulling on my sleeves whining like a kid. I don’t really hate him when he does that, more of I can’t reject him whenever he does that.
“Alright. This is the last ride, where do you want to go?”
“How about staying over for tonight? I can bring you home tomorrow.” A wide grin soon forms on his face, he nodded enthusiastically.
“I want to. Thank you.”
Since Kibum hyung was dealing with Taemin’s sleepover, I could get some sleep. I guess make-up shouldn’t be a problem since Kibum has make-up remover. His sleepwear, I guess a little oversize pajama he wouldn’t mind. Kibum may let him sleep in Taeminnie’s room… Wait… Sleep in Taemin’s bed… No…
I heard a few knock on the door before the door creak open. Taemin was standing there with Kibum’s pinky pajamas, a pillow he got from Key’s room and his make-up was removed… If I wasn’t clear in my mind, I would have just mistook him as my Taeminnie…
“Minho… Can I sleep with you tonight? Don’t worry, I promise I won’t do anything funny.” If it was the yesterday me, I would totally reject it. But today, after knowing that his lonely life without any parents’ love… Even if I’m not the one who made him what he is today. If he wishes to find that family warmth on me, I won’t reject it…
“Alright.” I made some space for him, like how I did for Taeminnie. He was lying on my left side. He didn’t snuggle close to me, he only snuggle close to the pillow. I pulled the blanket over the both of us. Of course, I won’t be really sleeping by his side. I will keep myself awake until he falls asleep and I will get myself comfy on the couch outside.
With just the moonlight shining in the room, I could only see his face. Without the hair and all, his face looked exactly like Taemin’s. At that moment, I think I was out of my mind. I used my fingers to trace along his jaw, like how I did to Taemin in the past. Lee Taemin… Shin Taemin… Lee Taemin… Shin Taemin… They can never be the same person… I quickly pulled my hand away, no matter how alike they are, he would never be the Lee Taemin I love…
I slipped out of bed. Sometimes, I’m really afraid that I would one day mix up the memories I have with Lee Taemin with Shin Taemin… But I know that in my heart, the one person that I would love will only be Lee Taemin and no one else. No one can ever take his place…
Unknowing, I was once again in Taemin’s untouched room. I still remember how I lose control when Key attempt to tidy up this place. I was like a beast, out of my mind. It was the first time I yelled and hurt someone. I’m glad Key didn’t take any stuff to let Shin Taemin wear on or use.
I picked up the dairy that he left before he died. Although it’s filled with never ending pain, I could feel his presence by reading it... I sat down on the corner of the room, hugging the book in my arms…
Taemin, I really miss you a lot…
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I'm starting to think I'm no longer that angsty...
maybe the feeling in me hasn' t really come out..
Well, please vote for your favourite story in the challenge~
http://community.livejournal.com/shawol_haven/35664.html
I should really get myself a beta...
too many grammar and tenses mistake >.<
expression mistake even >.<
Omg, I didn't know that tml is valentine until I see the date,
okay I guess back to head cracking, cause I haven't get a valentine day fic finished yet.
omg...
*dies*
MAYBE I doing up a trailer,
but Idk what song to use this time...
I got a few must insert video, but I think it's still not good enough..
hais.. *sigh*
I'm going to have my lunch now xD
Well Until the next fic :D
Pairing: Minho/Taemin
Genre: Angst
Rating: PG 15
Summary: Shin Taemin can never take over the place Lee Taemin is in his heart.
In My Room | Previous Chapter | Next Chapter
-Minho POV-
I sat near the bar counters again, somehow my knowledge of Taemin seemed to be too little. Shin Taemin… You are such a mystery. You suddenly appeared in my life, teasing me… Kept pulling back the memories I have with Taemin… Why, why does your every action have to do with Taemin? Why do you bother trying to find out about my life? Why do you know so much of me, as if you had lived with me once?
Maybe Heechul would know about your life more…
“Hyung… Do you know about Shin Taemin?” He mixed up the last drink and passed it to one of the waiter there. He ponders for a moment before answering to my question. Was it so hard to find out things about Shin Taemin?
“Shin Taemin… He is my cousin.”Then, does that mean you would know a lot of things about him? But not all cousins are close right? But if the person is Heechul hyung, he would know everything.
“Can you tell me more, hyung?” He seemed a little hesitant, is it something that he can’t tell me?
“Well… Taemin told me once not to tell you anything.” Why? Why does he want to keep his past from me? Is there something I shouldn’t know? Why did Shin Taemin even know that I would ask Heechul about him?
“But please Hyung, tell me. It’s not fair that he knows everything about me yet I only know he works here and his name is Shin Taemin.” Heechul pursed his lips, too bad I don’t have puppy eyes like Jonghyun hyung or I could get him talking even much faster.
“I will only tell you a little of him. For things that I didn’t tell you, you will have to wait for him to open up for you.” I nodded, at least it’s better than nothing.
“Well, I didn’t really watch him grow up, only came to know his name is Shin Taemin.” Does that mean you didn’t get to see him at all?
“So you didn’t know he look like Taeminnie?” He shook his head.
“I don’t… So far all these year I only managed to hear about their family… ” That’s why when you saw my Taeminnie you didn’t say anything… Two people with the same name, look alike… I couldn’t believe it at all until Shin Taemin came in my life and proved me wrong…
“What about his family?” His family, something about his past and childhood…
“Both his parents are busy business man and woman. They are too busy flying around countries to countries, leaving Taemin all alone in Korea. To what I know, Taemin couldn’t bear the loneliness he felt when he is at home, he moved out to the apartment that he is currently staying.” But it doesn’t really change the fact that he lived alone… But did he cut himself because he felt lonely?
“I only get to see Taemin when he came here to work about six months ago. I really never knew he was such a great dancer like Taeminnie…” Its true Shin Taemin is a great dancer, but how… How was it possible for two guys to dance so alike?
“How about the scar?”
“He had it before he came here working. I tried asking him, he doesn’t say a thing about it. That’s about it. The things I can say and I know.” At least I know about Taemin’s basic information, at least it’s no longer just. Shin Taemin, someone who look alike to Taemin.
“Thanks hyung.” I really thank him from the bottom of my heart. Maybe Taemin did suffered, just that he doesn’t say or show… But what could be the reason? It really makes me wonder…
His smiles hide his fear and sorrow, loneliness has created his outgoing attitude. That’s why he’s so playful, that’s why he seeks for attention, isn’t it?
“Let’s go.” His cheery tone travels in my ear. After knowing how lonely he might be feeling during his childhood, it really changed the way I look at him… He doesn’t really wish to seduce people like this, he just wants to hold back someone to keep him accompanied. If he doesn’t feel lonely, then he won’t go around seducing people..
“Can I bring you somewhere?” He turned to look at me, with a shocking look before it turns to a smirk. He stepped closer to me, wrapped his arms around my neck. Okay, did he misinterpret my meaning?
“Your house?” I pulled away his hands that were around my neck, I guess he did misinterpret my meaning.
“Yeah. I want you to meet someone.” I make it sound so secretive; he looked at me full of question.
“To see your mom?” Well, Key is Taemin’s umma, I guess he’s my mom.
“Yeah, my mom.”
“I’m back.” I find Taemin rather timid at this point of time, he pulled the back of my shirt, using my body to hide himself. Key and Jonghyun were both lazing on the couch before they both turned around.
“Welcome home, Minho.” Kibum greeted. He managed to see someone hiding behind me so he was giving me weird stare.
“Key hyung. This is Shin Taemin.” I managed to push Shin Taemin to my side. Why did he become too shy to meet people? It’s not like him.
“Tae… Tae… Taemin…” Kibum gasped unbelievingly. I saw Jonghyun holding Kibum’s arms, nudge him not to be so obvious at staring Taemin.
“Hello, Key hyung and Jonghyun hyung.” His voice seemed to be not that cocky kind of tone.
“Sorry for staring you like that. It’s just that… just that…” It was the first time seeing Key spluttering like that.
“I know, I look like Lee Taemin. Right?” Key nodded immediately. I know exactly how Key feels. Seeing Shin Taemin was like seeing Taemin soul standing there… As if he didn’t died from the accident… But it’s impossible when I was the one who let him return back to heaven. He’s an angel from heaven, he has to return back one day, isn’t it?
Both of them kept quiet, not uttering a single word. Jinki came out from his room, breaking the silence.
“Key, have you see my… my… Taemin?” Taemin bowed 90 degree to Onew. Taemin is being too polite today… Did he change his attitude because he thought he was meeting my family? Or I’m just thinking too much? Maybe I’m really thinking too much.
“Hello, I’m Shin Taemin.” I ruffled his head, I guess this was kind of awkward. I shouldn’t have brought him here…
“ Jinki Hyung, don’t keep staring at him.” Jinki nodded and turned his gaze back to Key. Key walked towards Taemin, I really hope he doesn’t do anything to scare Shin Taemin.
“Taemin, do you want to stay for the night? It’s rather late now… It won’t be safe to go home.” Taemin looked at me, was he asking for my permission? His eyes were like asking me or was it begging me to say yes? Why does this resemblance like Taemin’s eyes… Whenever he begs me to buy something for him or bring him to somewhere.
“Minho hyung~ Can we have one more ride before we go home?” His puppy eyes were staring at me, how can I say no to those eyes? He was pulling on my sleeves whining like a kid. I don’t really hate him when he does that, more of I can’t reject him whenever he does that.
“Alright. This is the last ride, where do you want to go?”
“How about staying over for tonight? I can bring you home tomorrow.” A wide grin soon forms on his face, he nodded enthusiastically.
“I want to. Thank you.”
Since Kibum hyung was dealing with Taemin’s sleepover, I could get some sleep. I guess make-up shouldn’t be a problem since Kibum has make-up remover. His sleepwear, I guess a little oversize pajama he wouldn’t mind. Kibum may let him sleep in Taeminnie’s room… Wait… Sleep in Taemin’s bed… No…
I heard a few knock on the door before the door creak open. Taemin was standing there with Kibum’s pinky pajamas, a pillow he got from Key’s room and his make-up was removed… If I wasn’t clear in my mind, I would have just mistook him as my Taeminnie…
“Minho… Can I sleep with you tonight? Don’t worry, I promise I won’t do anything funny.” If it was the yesterday me, I would totally reject it. But today, after knowing that his lonely life without any parents’ love… Even if I’m not the one who made him what he is today. If he wishes to find that family warmth on me, I won’t reject it…
“Alright.” I made some space for him, like how I did for Taeminnie. He was lying on my left side. He didn’t snuggle close to me, he only snuggle close to the pillow. I pulled the blanket over the both of us. Of course, I won’t be really sleeping by his side. I will keep myself awake until he falls asleep and I will get myself comfy on the couch outside.
With just the moonlight shining in the room, I could only see his face. Without the hair and all, his face looked exactly like Taemin’s. At that moment, I think I was out of my mind. I used my fingers to trace along his jaw, like how I did to Taemin in the past. Lee Taemin… Shin Taemin… Lee Taemin… Shin Taemin… They can never be the same person… I quickly pulled my hand away, no matter how alike they are, he would never be the Lee Taemin I love…
I slipped out of bed. Sometimes, I’m really afraid that I would one day mix up the memories I have with Lee Taemin with Shin Taemin… But I know that in my heart, the one person that I would love will only be Lee Taemin and no one else. No one can ever take his place…
Unknowing, I was once again in Taemin’s untouched room. I still remember how I lose control when Key attempt to tidy up this place. I was like a beast, out of my mind. It was the first time I yelled and hurt someone. I’m glad Key didn’t take any stuff to let Shin Taemin wear on or use.
I picked up the dairy that he left before he died. Although it’s filled with never ending pain, I could feel his presence by reading it... I sat down on the corner of the room, hugging the book in my arms…
Taemin, I really miss you a lot…
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I'm starting to think I'm no longer that angsty...
maybe the feeling in me hasn' t really come out..
Well, please vote for your favourite story in the challenge~
http://community.livejournal.com/shawol_haven/35664.html
I should really get myself a beta...
too many grammar and tenses mistake >.<
expression mistake even >.<
Omg, I didn't know that tml is valentine until I see the date,
okay I guess back to head cracking, cause I haven't get a valentine day fic finished yet.
omg...
*dies*
MAYBE I doing up a trailer,
but Idk what song to use this time...
I got a few must insert video, but I think it's still not good enough..
hais.. *sigh*
I'm going to have my lunch now xD
Well Until the next fic :D