7 days sober

[branchlimbs]

i may be able to quit drugs
but i will never stop craving bad ideas.
the present is good and the future looks better:
taking another stab at love, school, life.
self-examination and humility has been hard as hell
but i'm growing by the second. i'm ready, willing, wanting.
i just hope my tricky brain doesn't fuck it up.

"The only sure thing is that

Comments

[block11]

stop cheating, joy

[cachetona]

seconded. Right now, more than ever, you need a rock and someone to help you through this. Why hurt him any more in such a deep way?

[branchlimbs]

because, both of you, i just left my rock, the man who helped me through everything and anything for three years, the love that would die for me. and i wanted to see him one more time, to ease his heart pain and let him know i still love him, because i do. we will not sleep together again. remember this? i meant it.

the word "cheat" just makes me fucking bristle. loving two at once doesn't seem worthy of such a cheap word.

[cachetona]

I do think it's a cheap word and not applicable to your case - but you can't glamorize an act that betrays trust. I just hope that everything settles smoothly with you two, as it seems to be. I have no place to criticize when and whom you love someone both physically & emotionally, and I hope that didn't come across as that.

[leftoff]

maybe he believes.
but if you've already cheated on him, do you?

[branchlimbs]

i hope, and believe.

[stillorbiting]

you are braver than most. with a huge, honest heart. i think c. knows this and because of this, will be able to forgive, to trust again. if he loves you, he will come to see that your choice with a. was done with big love and care and not some purely selfish, empty night of lust.

[branchlimbs]

it will take time... everything will take time. all of us must heal.

[branchlimbs]

=) thank god for your disagreement. i've been doubting myself a lot lately, and all i really need is to stop doing that.
and i love his face fur! love love! wouldn't on anyone else, probably, but on him...

[sugarlungs]

i find myself usually in (some sort of) love with multiple people at once & it frustrates me, and confuses me, and i just have to sit back & think, ok. which one of these men is going to not only make me happy, but support me & care for me & i guess most importantly, put up with my shit. i think you know what i'm talking about because you're making decisions like this one & c. sounds like a fantastic, wonderful person.

i know how jumbled up all of that was, sorry!

[branchlimbs]

it wasn't jumbled, it was the clearest thing i've heard all day. however, a. puts up with my shit, c. i'm not so sure about yet. what i need is to be able to be okay whether someone else puts up with me or not. still, it's soooo hard not to need...