Comments | branchlimbs: 7 days sober

branchlimbs

7 days sober

Aug 15, 2007 23:33

i may be able to quit drugs
but i will never stop craving bad ideas.
the present is good and the future looks better:
taking another stab at love, school, life.
self-examination and humility has been hard as hell
but i'm growing by the second. i'm ready, willing, wanting.
i just hope my tricky brain doesn't fuck it up.

"The only sure thing is that ( Read more... )

sober, c., we shall see, love, mistake, another chance, photos, stay

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block11 August 16 2007, 06:53:48 UTC

stop cheating, joy

cachetona August 16 2007, 08:37:23 UTC

seconded. Right now, more than ever, you need a rock and someone to help you through this. Why hurt him any more in such a deep way?

branchlimbs August 16 2007, 16:04:59 UTC

because, both of you, i just left my rock, the man who helped me through everything and anything for three years, the love that would die for me. and i wanted to see him one more time, to ease his heart pain and let him know i still love him, because i do. we will not sleep together again. remember this? i meant it.

the word "cheat" just makes me fucking bristle. loving two at once doesn't seem worthy of such a cheap word.

cachetona August 17 2007, 01:06:47 UTC

I do think it's a cheap word and not applicable to your case - but you can't glamorize an act that betrays trust. I just hope that everything settles smoothly with you two, as it seems to be. I have no place to criticize when and whom you love someone both physically & emotionally, and I hope that didn't come across as that.

branchlimbs August 17 2007, 04:56:52 UTC

thank you. anyway, the constructive criticism is what helps most - i do not need to be coddled. sorry if i sounded harsh or defensive, i've been so up and down, nice and snappy, happy and sad. i let go of what gave me my defenses and made me warm; at first it was enlightening and humbling, but now the initial awe is wearing off and all i feel is "fuck the world."
this too shall pass.

i hope he is here when it passes. i hope you are here when it passes. i hope that when i am better and well, some of the mind that i have dulled will be back again, some of the relationships that i ruined will return, or at the very least that i will still have what i have now. this includes you.

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