Modelland, by Tyra Banks

May 09, 2012 07:43

This is really long, but there was just so much WTF that I couldn't edit it down further without feeling that I was denying people lulz.


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fantasy isn't always fantastic, kill it with fire, author last names a-f, booksnarks, young adult fails, feminism just got set back 50 years, character development fail, there is a plot where somewhere, this is romance? how?

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Comments 39

quoteintangible May 9 2012, 07:12:22 UTC
Omg, was Tyra high when she wrote this?I can understand how Trya Banks could write this, her ego is the size of a planet, with it's own moons to revolve around her and everything, but seriously who in their right mind would publish it?

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czol May 9 2012, 07:45:27 UTC
Publishers who know that a celebrity-written book = easy money.

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sio May 9 2012, 07:16:56 UTC
omg what a ridiculous sounding book! i'm surprised anyone could stomach that! kudos to you for being able to!

and oy the dumbass country names. the only one i don't get is "Gowdee". all the others are pretty obvious.

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czol May 9 2012, 07:44:42 UTC
It's Spain (the models count to 5 in Spanish at one point). But it took me a while to figure out the reasoning behind the name. Or at least my theory of the reasoning...

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sio May 9 2012, 07:45:25 UTC
hmm possible, though i wonder where the play on words comes from if it's Austria/Switzerland. the closest cheese name off top of my head close to "Gowdee" is Gouda....which is made primarily, IIRC, in Holland. and "TooLip" already represents Holland, soooo that's out.

i had thought of Gowdee > Howdy but then there's not really a country known for cowboys. (is there?)

damnit, this is gonna bother me all day tomorrow til i figure it out, lmao.

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muse_books May 9 2012, 07:22:07 UTC
Sounds dreadful - almost so bad - amazing you actually read it.

My 'guesses' for her countries (pretty obvious):

Très Jolie - France
Gowdee - no idea
NorDenSwee - Norway/Denmark/Sweden mash-up
Cappuccina - Italy
TooLip - Netherlands
Fuji - Japan
Chakra - India
Icylann - Iceland
Didgeridoo - Australia
Oktooberfest - Germany

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czol May 9 2012, 07:48:10 UTC
All correct!

Gowdee is Spain.

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amazingadrian May 9 2012, 09:10:58 UTC
Wow! Thank you for the entertaining breakdown. It was as if a thousand Mary Sue Litmus Tests cried out...and then were suddenly silenced.

It sounds as though the book is extremely vapid, and does not appear to reflect well on Miss Banks, on the surface. I'm intrigued by her imaginative touches though, even if (as it would seem from your synopses) most of her concepts don't actually go anywhere. Superhero hierarchies and meta-mystical living? Not exactly stuff you would expect to see coming from a celebrity model.

It's almost as if she only understands how her own world works; so her fantasy tale is framed around this perception of reality that is so narrow that even the fantasy suffers from it.

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box_of_rocks May 9 2012, 11:23:04 UTC
Oh, Jesus. Is this real life?

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