I am endeavoring to make bar parties a weekly thing on Fridays. Going to a regular party is for sheep. Going to a party at a bar is for the mighty. And given the reasonable amount of success we had last Friday, I think I can expect greatness to come of this ( Read more... )

All men and women are, at some point, asked, "What have you done? What is it that makes your life worth having been lived?" Most people get asked this in life. Everyone will get asked when they're dead. And I'll look God Almighty in the face just like I looked at all the mere mortals who asked me, and I'll say, "I took care of drunk people, and ( Read more... )

When you read the subject of this journal entry, you pictured something in your head. Whatever you pictured is inadequate, small, and flaccid. It does not compare ( Read more... )

Anyone who knows me really well knows that I don't think I can write for shit. Anyone with any taste in literature generally agrees. But, several people having voiced the opinion that I should write professionally, I feel like I should explain, once and for all, why I don't really count on it ( Read more... )

Brasky killed Paul Bunyan with his own axe in a dispute over which one was the father of the Blue Ox's children ( Read more... )

I mention the Revolution a lot. Let me clarify ( Read more... )

I've left the Skinny House. It was a bittersweet departure. Bitter because I had a lot of fun there, and people always perked up when you said, "I live in the second skinniest house in America. It was on TV." Sweet because now my neighbors are college-aged women instead of crack dealers and bums, and my landlord actually works for a living and ( Read more... )

As usual, I went through about 300 versions of plans for this week, my Spring Break. Originally I was going to go down with some of the boys from Liberty to a house they normally get for next to nothing, but the prices went up. Desperate, I considered sleeping in my car, was then directed to the idea of using campgrounds, saw the weather, ( Read more... )

1) Poking around this site, I've discovered that three people have listed me as their "friend" on here. I only know who one of them is, and then only vaguely. Who the fuck are you people ( Read more... )

You save my life around this time of year. Especially when you give me like 2/3 of my shit for free. God, I love you.

ps, I'm drunk, yes, but not so drunk I can't chase my liver around the room when it tries to run away.