I've finally been deemed worthy! Back in the days of hot Britney, when little Lizzie wore New Balances instead of purple argyle Pumas and Starbucks only had a franchise on every other corner, I pissed and moaned about being snubbed by those oh-so-inoffensive Mormon missionaries (see Read more... )

(note: "fucking" in this instance denotes emphasis rather than adverbage ( Read more... )

I bought a bag of No Name mini marshmallows the other day against my better judgment. I say "against my better judgment" because 1) they were/are multicoloured and that's rarely a sign of quality and 2) No Name food tends to taste like shit*. Also, I think they were on sale and when a product's list price is already $1.99 and it's on clearance... I ( Read more... )

Harriet Miers withdrew her supreme court nomination. Bush "regretfully" accepted. Gee, Harriet. Thanks for throwing us a curve ball. You really are a selfish bitch, you know, taking all the attention away from the White Sox who haven't won a series since 1917. Greedy, greedy whore. Who has bad eyeliner. Burn ( Read more... )

In the words of that exchange student, Jonas, who was in our UFA drama class for a year, "I am not dead." I've just been super busy. Don't worry though, muffs, I've been laying the LJ slacker guilt on thick. Particularly on behalf of Dan Muff with whom I have most of my digressions online. Mega loves to you, bitch. I miss our Iranian platter ( Read more... )

Any kittens who have been following Michael Bay's Island-flop hissyfits will love this too.
http://theonion.com/opinion/index.php?issue=4133

This reminds me of the time Otto was caught driving the wrong way on the 401, near London, by police at 3am. He was evidently on his way to Pearson, but got side tracked by the Looney Tunes on the road.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/4719819.stm

Andy-roo: BEST, BEST, BEST luck on Jeopardy. Kick some ass, lick some ass (also known as 'salad tossing' or 'rim licking') and score some free insurance. I know you'll do great and hope you win big, just try to lose before Trib production starts, cool? Serious loves to you though, we're all proud/jealous of you ( Read more... )

Three things ( Read more... )

Am posting because some people were inquiring as to whether or not I was dead. I am not. Though I did disappear for six days without telling any/many, so I can understand the confusion. Am sorry if my state of living disappoints those who thought that they would finally be inheriting my recently amassed fortune and jewels. One day though, if your ( Read more... )