i passed the at-home test. i feel like a community college stoner loser trying to get a job at Target.

in any case - all the issues in the previous post - well they are coming out tonight. i'm taking my drug-free ass to the castro.

A lot's happened in the 9 months I've been single. I'm not sure I'm young enough to declare I've arrived at some eat pray love epiphany or similar bullshit, but here are a collection of thoughts ( Read more... )

a lot going on right now...some keywords: loneliness, illness, death, disappointment, drinking and drugs. all I know to do with all of it is watch the sex and the city movie, write/edit long letters to the estranged on Notepad I'll never send, and mail myself FutureMe notes. i've really failed to evolve since i first started this journal ( Read more... )

Got a heart full of pride for NYC, but a sad one for myself ( Read more... )

i've never felt so cheap and degraded by someone I cared about like this before. but it really sucks. i kinda hate him right now.

think we were aiming for love and now slowly going for contempt instead. so wrong, not cool.

I'm really lost right now. That also means I've gotten a few comics under my belt. Now only if they were more than just words in some blank boxes.

That also means I rented a car to hike Monterey and Big Sur on my own Saturday. I hope I find something.

 i'm entertaining the idea of starting a comic strip, and yes, this comes from too much rereading of Adrian Tomine lately and adjacently related to early signs of a quarter lame crisis. i'm foolishly thinking it will be somber and hilarious. and like all things I try to render unique, it will be very asian, and it will be very gay ( Read more... )

I trekked 2 hours (and a bill) to go to Russian River to see him Sunday. And what I got was a huge, humiliating and very visible blow-up in front of hundreds of shirtless gay men over “not texting him back last night.” I told him I was asleep, he said, “that’s what you say.” This feels familiar. Because it’s happened with him once before, and it’s ( Read more... )

 i needed to decompress today and here's a dirty drafts of thoughts ( Read more... )

 
My mind went over a great number of scattered, unconnected thoughts, but I could think of no really good way to get out of my present poverty. A siren from a nearby factory sounded; it must have been midnight. I stood up and changed into my shabby old gown, blew the candle out and went out for my walk.

It was quiet. All the other inhabitants of the ( Read more... )