I feel so low. I can't stop crying. The pain is so great right now that I feel short of breath and my chest is so sore. I sit back in my chair, my head back, tears running down my face, just crying and asking god to take my soul. Why did I ever give him a chance? Why has my life become such a living hell? My head is spinning, my heart feels like it ( Read more... )

Three years ago I lived in Marysville Ohio. I worked a job at a gas station four days a week and my three days off was what I lived for. I would jump in my car after work, bags packed, gas tank full and speed off into the night racing to get to the person I loved so much. 120 miles later I was in Indiana, by his side, my relationship with him was ( Read more... )

Oh god, don't know why but I just started reading parts of his journal from LAST YEAR . I'm not making this shit up ( Read more... )

I feel so fucking sick right now. The anxiety Jason causes me is burning me out. He thought leaving me "would give me the motivation is do better in school". Ha, fucking haha, you know what its given me? The need to take anxiety medication, pre-stages of hypertension and a stomach Ulcer. I'm so fucking sick of this shit, why in gods name did I ever ( Read more... )

How do you fill a void left in you, when the one person who means the world to you leaves? Forgive bad grammar and spelling, I have been drinking. If you read my post and are getting sick of reading my emotional struggles then read no further. But honestly how can I ever fill a void left by a person I love so dearly ( Read more... )

I'm sitting here looking at pictures I had forgotten about. When we first met, out trip to Canada. The summer I spent driving to Indiana every week, to spend time with him in his dorm. I want to feel that happiness again, I want to be happy ( Read more... )

I'm struggling so much, one day I think I'm getting better and then next day I'm a mess. I can't even describe my emotions, they are all over the place. Sometimes when I'm distracted by people and busy, I feel happy for a few minutes. Other times I feel sad, depressed and hopeless. Sometimes I think about cutting myself because I don't know how to ( Read more... )

Everything that I am, everything that is my life, its all burning. I do not know what to do. I am living day by day. Struggling to stay sane, to keep from breaking down. Every hour is a fight for me, my only escape is sleep ( Read more... )

This past week has been crazy. I'm single again. Thank you Jason, I hope Grad School turns out to be better then the past three years you spent with me. I move to another state, transfer schools and spend thousnads of dollars paying out-of-state to be with you and you still end up fucking me over, again... Joy ( Read more... )

I haven't posted in 48 million years, and if Jenn can then so can I. Life is grand, Red Lobster is smashing and Muncie is "the shit". My trip to Hawaii was amazing, I miss the islands, the culture and the food. Ball State is killing me, I've basically taken this semester off. I was getting demoralized and burnt out. Last November I basically had a ( Read more... )