Oooooooooooooooooooh ( Read more... )

my dad doesn't get it. and no matter how sympathetic Sam is, he can't get it either. if you didn't grow up only having one parent around, you can't understand. honestly, I don't think you can. I'm stressed out right now and I may be saying everything ass backwards but I get so fucking pissed off sometimes. they don't understand what it's like ( Read more... )

I am home right now. It's how it always is. Home seems to be paused until I'm back and then it starts again. I know that is not how it goes, but sometimes it seems like it ( Read more... )

I love sitting at the library on a computer, usually checking e-mail or just hanging out in between classes and rehearsals. I am at a very relaxed and amazed part of my life and I really enjoy it. Having Sam's presence in my immediate life this weekend was wonderful, he is so...everything and all things in one that I am loving right now, I love ( Read more... )

I had a major meltdown last night at improv. I ran out of the auditorium crying and hid in the bathroom for 15 minutes until Nesreen came to check on me and I was sitting in the corner of the handicap stall crying. I haven't had an anxiety attack in so long and this one made me throw up and I hit the toilet paper dispenser because, just because ( Read more... )

upon reading Natalie's entry, I realized that maybe everyone has someone that is experiencing what they are, only in their own terms. There was a time when I just wanted to curl up in a ball and not see anyone and there were times when I so desperately wanted affection and acceptance that I'd alter myself to fit in. And when I couldn't decide if ( Read more... )

sometimes I think I'm stuck in a continuum of negativity and champagne can't help because it'll only make it worse ( Read more... )

my nose is full of boogies and it cannot stop filling up. I have a job at Burlington Housing Authority, a gov't funded agency that deals with Section 8 housing. It's going to be interesting and hopefully not boring seeing how I'll be filing papers mostly. I work with mainly middle-older aged women and one guy who doesn't wear shoes. Which I ( Read more... )

it's snowing outside, finally! I say that excitedly because the weather up here has been mysteriously and concerningly warm. but now it's snowing heavily and I'm not too concerned about global warming although I do love warm weather. But I get to wear my Yak-Traks up to school for the first time and try those suckers out, which is a plus ( Read more... )

why do I agonize? Why does anyone. I wish I were 5x more carefree than I am. but what does carefree even mean? and who is carefree? see, agonizing once again. I wish I could be involved in at least 2 more things but it seems that I cannot even be stable at what I'm already involved in. I need stamps. and postcards. or not. I don't really ( Read more... )