(no subject)
Oooooooooooooooooooh.
Sam was up here for the weekend. He's like Christmas. Once it happens you wish it could happen every day. I wish we could see more of each other. The weekend was so...amazing, gosh. It was difficult to say farewell for now but two weeks will fly by. I still don't understand how he can be with me; sometimes I feel too emotional to be with him. It's because I want everything to go perfectly perfect when we actually spend time together and when something goes askew, it tends to blow me up a bit. So I ended up getting teary eyed because I got sexually intimidated, when he would ask me what I want to do during sex, it flusters me and I don't really know how to talk about it. Which stranges me out because I'm usually open with a lot. But he's really good at wanting me to talk with him when I get upset over a situation, And that comforts me because it makes me know that he wants to listen. sex is so good, I think we are meant to fit together sexually. More than that obviously, but every thrust and motion and caress and wave of excitement that moved through me made me want to stay connected to Sam. The power and intensity when we are fitted so beautifully overwhelms me and god, being a human being is so nice. I asked him if he thought it was just going to get harder and harder to say goodbye every time it happens and he said probably. I agree. We barely spend time together in comparison to how much time is spent talking on the phone. I don't know if it's just because it's a cliche, but now that I'm alone and he's going back it feels like my heart is being clenched till it is dry and I'd much rather him be in the bathroom then another state because I could go and hug him and kiss the tip of his nose, I just wish it didn't hurt so much. How do you get this to stop? If you love someone so much because they know how to make you laugh and know how to make you feel good, really good and don't mind that you love to eat and fart and he grabs me to slow dance in the kitchen when there's no music is playing, why am I crying? Not only that, there's a yearning in my chest, a pull outward that just wants to be nearer to him.
OH.MY.GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD. I'm so happy to be in a relationship with Sam, but I wish I didn't have to feel like this.
Sam was up here for the weekend. He's like Christmas. Once it happens you wish it could happen every day. I wish we could see more of each other. The weekend was so...amazing, gosh. It was difficult to say farewell for now but two weeks will fly by. I still don't understand how he can be with me; sometimes I feel too emotional to be with him. It's because I want everything to go perfectly perfect when we actually spend time together and when something goes askew, it tends to blow me up a bit. So I ended up getting teary eyed because I got sexually intimidated, when he would ask me what I want to do during sex, it flusters me and I don't really know how to talk about it. Which stranges me out because I'm usually open with a lot. But he's really good at wanting me to talk with him when I get upset over a situation, And that comforts me because it makes me know that he wants to listen. sex is so good, I think we are meant to fit together sexually. More than that obviously, but every thrust and motion and caress and wave of excitement that moved through me made me want to stay connected to Sam. The power and intensity when we are fitted so beautifully overwhelms me and god, being a human being is so nice. I asked him if he thought it was just going to get harder and harder to say goodbye every time it happens and he said probably. I agree. We barely spend time together in comparison to how much time is spent talking on the phone. I don't know if it's just because it's a cliche, but now that I'm alone and he's going back it feels like my heart is being clenched till it is dry and I'd much rather him be in the bathroom then another state because I could go and hug him and kiss the tip of his nose, I just wish it didn't hurt so much. How do you get this to stop? If you love someone so much because they know how to make you laugh and know how to make you feel good, really good and don't mind that you love to eat and fart and he grabs me to slow dance in the kitchen when there's no music is playing, why am I crying? Not only that, there's a yearning in my chest, a pull outward that just wants to be nearer to him.
OH.MY.GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD. I'm so happy to be in a relationship with Sam, but I wish I didn't have to feel like this.