Silence = Death (Part 4) - Jensen/Jared - NC-17
When Jared's mother tells Jared that he can settle the girls in Sophie's old bedroom and that she'll help tuck them in, this leaves Jensen alone with Jared's father.
"Join me for a drink, Jensen," Gerald invites, his tone making it clear though that he won't be taking no for an answer. If he could, Jensen would decline the offer and go to bed, but he knows better and so he accepts the drink. Gerald hands him a glass of whiskey before he pours one for himself.
"Thank you," Jensen says, slightly uncomfortable about being alone with Jared's father. Gerald was mostly quiet during their evening out and apart from his earlier comment on Jensen and Jared's lifestyle, he's been distant but friendly.
Jensen simply doesn't know where he stands. He wonders whether he should start an intelligent discussion on something, anything, but Jensen's too tired to force himself to really think.
Instead he lets his eyes wander over the décor of the Padaleckis' living room. It reminds him a lot of his own parents' home. The style of the furniture is a little more modern than at Jensen's parents' house and the colors are lighter too. But there's one thing that is just like home: there are pictures of family everywhere, showing children at graduation day, grandparents with grandchildren, children doing sports or playing instruments.
Jensen looks out of the glass backdoor that leads to the patio and the backyard. It's dark outside so he can't see anything but just from the style of the house, he's got the impression that it's not small.
One of the reasons why Jensen finally wanted to meet Jared's family is because he believes that knowing where a person comes from, knowing their family and how they grew up, makes it easier to understand the other person. He's drawn back to the pictures on the shelves by the deep need to find this understanding of Jared.
He spots Jared a few times. There's a picture of him, maybe being fourteen or fifteen, playing basketball. On the photo, Jared's a lanky kid with pimples and nowhere near as strong as the muscular, attractive man Jensen knows.
"We had hoped Jared would become a famous NBA star and win the Spurs the championship," Gerald laughs, coming to stand next to Jensen.
The laugh startles Jensen at first but when he glances to the side he sees incredible pride in Gerald's eyes. Jensen smiles to himself, pleased by this glimpse of Gerald.
He knew it.
Despite everything that happened, Jared's parents love Jared and are proud of him. It would have pained Jensen to see otherwise, it would have pained him to see Jared's parents turn away from him because of this whole not-straight-thing. Instead, Jensen gets the impression that Jared's parents still love him unconditionally, even though they might not be handling the situation that well yet.
But underneath it all, there's definitely a lot of love.
"Jared was always the tallest kid in class," Gerald goes on. "All the men in our family are big and even Megan is tall for a girl. Jared always loved playing basketball so we thought he should try for a career. But in the end, it didn't work out."
There is no regret in Gerald's voice at all. After a short pause he adds, "That doesn't mean we're not proud of him for his actual career choice. He's saving people's lives and that makes us just as proud."
Jensen smiles and takes a sip from his drink. The whisky burns his throat, hot and raw as he savors the full-bodied and rich taste of the bourbon. Jensen knows he needs to drink this slowly. At the restaurant, he didn't just drink one beer, but instead he had several. Alcohol tends to make Jensen sleepy and after the day he had, he doesn't need to add to the exhaustion he already feels.
"Jared's incredibly passionate when it comes to his job," Jensen says softly. "I admire him for that."
Gerald nods and then he asks, "Say, Jensen, do you have a favorite basketball team?"
Jensen snorts and shakes his head. "I do, but I'm afraid you won't like it. When it comes to sports, I'm a Dallas boy all the way."
Gerald throws his head back and laughs. He even pats Jensen on the back. Immediately, Jensen tenses again because the man just fucking confuses him with his change from not friendly to very friendly. He should be glad that Gerald seems to be warming up to him too but somehow Jensen is just a little intimidated by that.
"Fair enough," Gerald says.
They're quiet then and Jensen takes a few more nervous sips from his whiskey. When Gerald offers him another, Jensen gladly accepts it although he probably shouldn't.
Jensen is looking at more pictures that show the whole family, including Jared's brother and sister when he hears Gerald say, "This is all very new to us."
Immediately, Jensen turns around to look at him. Gerald looks tired and maybe even a little helpless. Before Jensen can say anything, Gerald goes on, "In the past, we didn't even consider the possibility that one of our children could be homosexual. Even when Jared didn't date after Lisa died, we just thought he was busy with his job and taking care of Sophie. We never thought it was because he might be gay. This came as a big surprise."
Jensen's not sure whether he should correct Gerald and tell him that Jared isn't even gay but bisexual and that he didn't consider himself bi until he met Jensen. What happens if he does? Will Jared's family hate Jensen and blame him for turning Jared gay? Will they not care? Jared sure never made any efforts to go on a date with women after he lost his wife, but not because he doubted his sexuality but rather because he just wasn't interested in dating per se.
In the end, Jensen thinks it's better if he leaves it to Jared to tell his family certain things and maybe others not.
"Allow me to say this, but Jared and I know that. I came out to my parents when I was 19 and my parents were very shocked too because they didn't expect it at all. I guess that's normal," Jensen says.
Jensen takes another sip from his drink. He's somewhat relieved that they're finally talking about this. All day he felt like they were dancing around each other and not addressing matters that should be discussed. All day he was full of tension because he expected Jared's parents to snap and start with the accusations and when it didn't happen, Jensen just couldn't put his mind at ease, always waiting for the big blow up.
"It's just a very big change for us and something we need to get used to. I suppose when I say we, I mostly mean myself," Gerald laughs nervously. "Sherri seems to be handling this rather well."
"I know. Believe me when I say that this is also a very big change for us, Jared and I. But especially Jared," Jensen says softly. "Coming out to his family and friends was a difficult and big step for him but it's important."
Jensen glances at Gerald, looks him directly in the eyes. Gerald studies him and beneath that curiosity there's something that Jensen can't read. It's a little unnerving but still he says what's on his mind, "Jared is just as confused as you are right now. In a way, he has to find out again who he really is. Realizing and admitting to yourself that you're gay is sort of like going through a second puberty."
Now it's Jensen's turn to laugh nervously, not even sure why. He doesn't know whether those are things he should tell Gerald or whether he should rather leave it to Jared himself or at least wait until Jared's with them, but Gerald started this and Jensen just gives him answers to his questions.
"We still love Jared even though we're maybe less than euphoric at the moment." Gerald runs a hand over his face as he says this. Jensen assumes that he's talking about the way he greeted Jared earlier. This only confirms Jensen's impression that a pat on the back is not the way Jared is usually welcomed by his father.
Suddenly there's a strange longing inside Jensen. Throughout the day, ever since they actually met Jared's family, Jensen just wanted five minutes alone with Jared. Five minutes for a stolen kiss, five minutes to exchange their perceptions of how things are going. Instead Jensen had to rely on his own judgment and that's something that's nearly driving him insane. He can't wait to finally go to bed with Jared. Even though it might make him sound like a petulant child, all he wants is his boyfriend.
Jensen is so deep in thought that he at first thinks that he maybe imagined Gerald say the next bit, that maybe his ears tricked him.
"And we want him to be happy. Whatever that means."
But when he looks at Gerald again, Jensen is sure that he didn't just imagine it. A warm feeling spreads in Jensen's belly and he's so happy he's grinning.
"I think you should tell him," Jensen suggests. "Jared's very unsure about this and a little confirmation that you're okay certainly would do him good. I mean, I've been telling him, but I'm only his boyfriend. It's kinda my job to be supportive."
Gerald smiles and nods again. "Thank you. I-"
He doesn't get further than that as Jared and Sharon enter the living room. Whatever Gerald wanted to say, he doesn't seem to want to say it in front of Jared and Sharon.
Jared smiles and Jensen sees that this day has taken its toll on Jared, too. Jared looks as if he's about to drop dead any second.
"Hey," Jensen says as Jared approaches him. Jensen once more wishes he could curl up with Jared and finally fall asleep. Definitely after a serious session of making out, Jensen thinks as he watches Jared lick his lips.
"Hey," Jared says back. And when he sees Jensen and his father standing in front of the pictures, he asks curiously, "What are you doing?"
Jensen smiles and holds out his arm for Jared to come over. He puts his arm around Jared's waist and strokes softly over the strong line of Jared's side. The touch feels good; the little shivers Jared gives him turn Jensen on a little. For a moment he totally forgets about Jared's parents and when he does, he quickly tries to jerk his arm away. But Jared's hand is quicker as it lands on top of Jensen's and holds it to his body.
Jensen gulps nervously. He knows that his own parents don't really like it when he's affectionate with his partners in front of them and since Jensen doesn't know about Jared's parents, he'd rather not push his luck. But now that his arm's trapped, he'll trust Jared that it's okay and that Jared wouldn't do anything on purpose to piss his family off.
Relaxing somewhat, Jensen says with a smile, "Your father filled me in about your failed basketball career."
When Jared laughs and throws his head back, Jensen relaxes some more.
"The girls in bed?" he then asks, continuing to stroke over Jared's flank.
Jared becomes serious again. There's a gentle look on his face when he answers, "Yeah, they were dead to the world immediately. It's been an incredibly exciting day for them."
When Jared licks his lips, Jensen is so mesmerized, almost in trance, that all he can do is stare. He's once more painfully reminded that he'd die for a kiss right now to show Jared the love he feels. After the day they've had he wants nothing more than to kiss Jared's plush lips and sweep his tongue over them softly to reassure how proud he is of Jared and how happy Jared makes him.
"Would you like a drink, Jared?" Gerald asks, already walking over to the cabinet where the glasses and the whiskey are.
"Dad, I'm sorry, but I think Jensen and I should go to bed, too. I'm nearly falling asleep just standing here."
As if to verify his point, Jared tries to stifle a yawn. Everyone laughs when he fails. Jared's yawn is contagious and soon enough, Jensen has to follow suit.
"You boys go to sleep now," Sharon suggests and Jensen is so happy that he'd grab her and swirl her around and maybe kiss her cheek sloppily if he could. Bed, finally.
Jensen and Jared say goodnight and by the time they've reached the bottom of the staircase, Sharon calls out for them again. Once she catches up with them, she looks at Jared and says, "We prepared Jeff's old room for Jensen. Your old room is set and ready for you, too, Jared."
The smiles on Jensen and Jared's faces freeze while the expression on Sharon's face tells Jensen that she won't accept any bullshit and that this is not up for discussion.
What the fuck? They want them to sleep in separate rooms?
Jensen wishes he were in a position to protest because he is really not okay with this. During dinner Sharon was practically beaming when Jared told his family the latest news about Jensen and he looking for a house. The fact that Jensen and Jared are moving in together should show pretty clearly that they're both taking this relationship very serious and it's not hard to imagine that they've been intimate with each other.
But this is probably exactly Sharon's problem.
And while Jensen doesn't have the guts to argue with her, Jared does plenty.
"Mom, you've got to be kidding me," Jared says, trying to keep his voice down. From the way his mouth twitches and his eyebrows draw together, Jensen can tell that Jared is extremely agitated.
"Jared, do I look like I'm kidding?" Sharon then asks. "Jensen sleeps in Jeff's room, you sleep in your own."
"Why?" Jared bursts out.
To Jensen it seems pretty obvious. However, he doesn't know Jared's family and his tentative guess is nothing more than that: a guess. But then Sharon sort of confirms what Jensen has been thinking, "Because the two of you are not sleeping in the same room under our roof until you're married. You know this is a rule that applies to all of our children."
She speaks very quickly and does a fumbling gesture with her hand. Jensen can't tell whether she does it because she's just as agitated as Jared or whether she hopes it'll help bring her point across.
When Jensen looks at Jared, he sees how Jared's face goes cold, how a hard expression spreads across Jared's face. Jensen's stomach drops as he has the uneasy feeling of being in the middle of something he doesn't want to be. He's never seen Jared so angry. He never even thought that Jared had it in him to be this angry because Jared's always so happy and goddamn nice.
For a quick moment, Jensen lets his mind drift off to the first time he met Jared. Audrey and Sophie repeatedly got into fights at school and it had to happen three times until Jared came to pick up Sophie himself and didn't send Sandy to get Sophie instead. Jensen remembers how he accused Jared of being a horrible parent who cared more about his job than his child back then.
Boy, was he wrong.
Soon enough, after the reason of Audrey and Sophie's quarrels had been cleared up, the girls became friends. Without anyone taking notice, Jensen and Jared followed suit and formed their own friendship. The rest, they say, is history.
Yet during the whole development from acquaintances to friends to family to lovers, Jared never held a grudge against Jensen. So Jensen can definitely say he's surprised to see Jared like this.
"Hah, great, thanks. You know what, Jensen and I will never be able to fulfill your interpretation of marriage, Mom, because we're both men," Jared snarls angrily, his voice rising. He draws Jensen's mind back into the matter at hand. "Does that mean that you're never going to let us share a room, not even after years?"
The fact that Jared just told his mother that he considers their relationship to be very serious makes this whole nightmare a little easier for Jensen. Even though Jensen sometimes still finds this relationship overwhelming, he loves the fact that Jared is thinking long-term already and that this is as important to Jared as it is to him.
But still or maybe rather because of this, Jensen thinks Jared should accept his mother's wish. He doesn't like it one bit that he can't sleep next to Jared tonight but if they want a good relationship with Jared's parents in the future, it might be a good idea to bite the bullet this one time.
Just like Jared's, Sharon's voice gets louder too and Jensen fears this is going to escalate any minute. "A rule is a rule, Jared. And just because you're gay doesn't mean we're not making any exceptions for you."
Sharon's expression is challenging, daring Jared to talk back. Knowing Jared, Jensen assumes this is exactly what Jared will do. Since Jensen really doesn't look forward to witnessing a fight between Jared and his mother, he grabs Jared's hand and squeezes it. But Jared doesn't even react to that.
"Is there a problem?"
There's a stern look on Gerald's face and for a split second, Jensen wonders whether he heard anything and how much he heard. Jensen also wonders whether he and Jared sleeping in separate rooms is something that Gerald and Sharon agreed on or whether this is something that comes from Jared's mother.
Gerald looks back and forth between Jared and Sharon, still expecting an answer.
"No, honey. Jared and I were just discussing at what time they need to get up tomorrow morning. You know your son," Sharon says sweetly.
Jared snorts and says something unintelligible but neither Gerald nor Sharon comment. Jensen squeezes Jared's hand again and then he says, "It's been a long day. I guess Jared and I better go. Goodnight."
Jensen doesn't even wait for a proper reply before he shoves Jared up the stairs and out of his parents' sight. Once they reached the top of the stairs, Jensen allows himself to take a few deep breaths. Jared looks at him with angry eyes and even though Jensen knows that the anger is not directed at him, it makes him shiver.
Jared storms off into one of the rooms. Jensen doesn't know what to think of that, after all he didn't do Jared wrong. He understands that Jared is angry and that maybe Jared needs a moment to cool off. When Jared re-emerges from his room and enters the bathroom, Jensen goes to search for the room he'll sleep in. It doesn't take him long to find it and since he didn't hear Jared turn the lock, he decides to join Jared in the bathroom.
When Jensen closes the door, he sees Jared look up from the sink. Jared's posture is tense and as soon as he sees that it's Jensen, it relaxes only slightly. Bumping his hip against Jared's he tries to make him scoot over a little so that they can use it together. Quietly they brush their teeth and wash their faces.
"Don't be mad at them, Jared. It's not worth it," Jensen says after spitting into the sink.
Jared's flossing his teeth and between a back and forth movement, he says, "That's easy for you to say. They're not your parents, Jensen."
Jared still sounds annoyed and Jensen gets why. He really does, so he tells him. "Don't think it doesn't annoy me that we can't share a room, Jared. Believe me, after this day, I want nothing more than to fall asleep with you."
Jensen places a hand on Jared's back and strokes it. Jared's muscles are incredibly stiff and so Jensen has to use a little bit of pressure.
"But if it means your parents are going to be okay with us sooner, then I'm willing to accept it," Jensen says as he presses against a particularly tense spot.
When Jared whines a little, Jensen doesn't know whether it's because of Jensen's statement or the movement of his hand, "Jensen."
"No, listen to me, Jared. It's only for two nights, okay? It's not worth the fight. Yeah?"
Determinedly, Jensen looks at Jared. He hopes that Jared will understand that in the end, these two days are for a higher cause, that these two days are the groundwork for their future relationship with Jared's parents and that it's important this weekend goes somewhat well.
"Yeah," Jared agrees eventually. Jensen feels incredibly relieved. At least they're not going to fight on top of everything else.
Jared finishes flossing his teeth and when his focus shifts back to Jensen, Jensen leers at him. When Jared looks at him with a slightly confused expression, Jensen says seductively, "As soon as we're back home, we can have all the sex you want. I promise I'll let you do to me whatever you want. Just- just let's get through this weekend together."
A huge grin spreads across Jared's face that indicates very clearly that Jared likes the idea. He licks his lips and if this does one thing to Jensen, then it's to make him die for a kiss. Jensen knows they shouldn't but he can't help it. He really can't. With the intention for kiss just to be a chaste peck, Jensen presses his mouth to Jared's, tasting mint toothpaste.
Jared immediately parts his lips, slipping his tongue out and meeting Jensen's. Their kiss is warm and wet and soft. Their tongues circle, their spit mixing. Beneath the toothpaste, Jared tastes sweet, heavenly and immediately Jensen's dick grows half-hard. He really has to concentrate in order not to groan out loud.
The thing is, Jensen's dying for more. He wishes he could just run his hands over Jared's body and take what he wants, touch Jared and feel his naked skin underneath his palms. But he knows better. He knows better than to let himself get carried away. Mostly because he knows what's going to happen if he doesn't keep a clear head now.
The kiss becomes more urgent and by the time Jared starts biting him, none too gently, Jensen is already fully hard. Jared's hands come around his waist and when Jared tugs his body close so that they're aligned flush against one another, Jensen feels the heat in Jared's groin.
When Jensen pulls away, Jared whines low in his throat. Something inside Jensen is dying because there's nothing he'd rather do than give his boyfriend the physical contact they crave. There's nothing he'd rather do than show Jared how much he loves him. But he can't.
Jared looks at him with disappointed eyes, the lust so clear. And it breaks Jensen's heart a little to say, "No, Jared. We can't."
"I know," Jared sighs disappointedly. "But it's so hard. I see you and I want to touch you. I've been dying to touch all day and it drives me insane that you're so close and yet-"
Jensen silences Jared with another kiss. This is exactly how he's been feeling too. These are exactly the same thoughts that have been running through Jensen's mind ever since they arrived. And hearing Jared say them with so much desperation and need in his voice doesn't make things easier for Jensen.
"Let's just go to bed, okay?" Jensen suggests again. "I'm gonna drop dead any second."
Jared nods and together they walk out of the bathroom and into the hallway. For a few long moments, they simply look at each other, not saying a word. Jensen takes Jared's strong hands in his, softly stroking the pads of his thumbs over the backs of Jared's hands.
"All things considered, today didn't go too badly, right?" Jensen asks. Jensen knows that now might be their only chance to talk about this because they have no idea what tomorrow will bring and what the plans are. But Jensen needs to keep this short because he's really tired, fearing that he's going to fall asleep any second.
Jared smiles at him and nods, his previous anger gone. There's an expression of exhaustion on his face and once more Jensen thinks that this day has taken its toll on both of them. "Absolutely. It didn't go as badly as I feared it would. There was only little yelling."
"Yeah."
Jensen goes up on tiptoes and presses another chaste kiss to Jared's lips. And then he suggests, "Let's see if we can talk about this tomorrow, okay?"
"Yeah, okay," Jared agrees. Before he turns around to go into his room, he cups Jensen's cheek and strokes softly over it. With a smile, he says, "Goodnight, Jensen."
Longingly, Jensen watches him go and as soon as the bedroom door closes, he whispers, "Goodnight, Jared."
Jensen doesn't know for how long he has been in bed, unable to fall asleep. It feels strange to him to sleep in the bed that used to be Jeff's. Jeff's of all people.
When he's woken by a cool swoosh of air against his side and then the mattress dipping right next to him, he doesn't know either for how long he has been sleeping. He opens his eyes but in the near darkness of the room he can't make out anything. Not that it would be that much of a difference in the bright daylight. Fact is, Jensen Ackles is pretty much blind without his contacts or glasses.
It's the smell that he recognizes. The type of shower gel and shampoo that is only very, very faint at this time of night, underneath a scent that is so essentially Jared that Jensen would recognize it always, everywhere.
"Hi," Jared whispers as he slips underneath the comforter, next to Jensen.
"Hi," Jensen whispers right back. Maybe he should protest that they shouldn't be doing this, that they should be respecting Jared's parents' rules instead, but with Jared pressed so close to his, Jensen can't force himself.
Almost immediately, Jared wraps his body around Jensen like a human blanket. Or an octopus. Or just… Jared. Jared's feet are cold and Jensen shivers a little as Jared rubs against Jensen's calves to warm them up.
"Shouldn't you be in your own bed?" Jensen teases. Jared sighs happily as Jensen starts running his hands up and down Jared's arms.
Instead of answering, Jared buries his face in the crook of Jensen's neck, his breath dancing warmly over Jensen's skin. Jensen nearly moans at the pleasant sensation of Jared being so close but he knows they'll get into hot water if they make too much noise and get caught.
So Jensen squirms silently, pressing his needy body closer to Jared's. They're both only wearing shorts and shirts, not nearly enough to hide the heat of their bodies.
"Hm, maybe," Jared whispers flirtily. As Jared licks the shell of Jensen's ear teasingly slow, right before he tugs at the fleshy part of the lobe gently with his teeth, a shiver rocks Jensen's body. After a short pause, Jared adds somewhat seriously, "D'you want me to go?"
"No!"
God, now that was desperate. Jensen wants to hit himself because he sounds so needy, so eager. But he just can't help it. Even though it's only been half a day since being able to behave like a couple, he still missed Jared. Having him so close all afternoon and evening and not even being able to steal a quick kiss nearly drove Jensen insane.
Looking at Jared, Jensen can say he's not to blame at all. He's just a guy with an incredibly hot boyfriend; an incredibly hot boyfriend that he couldn't touch because it might have been considered inappropriate. Jensen thinks it's totally understandable that he's longing to reconnect to Jared now.
Jared laughs lightly. "You'll just have to be quiet then."
Just like that Jensen grows half-hard. Maybe he should be embarrassed because of his teenager-like reaction and because all it takes is Jared whispering dirty implications in his hushed bedroom voice, but when Jared shifts on top of Jensen, Jensen smirks. Jared traps him beneath him, pining him to the mattress. But the really interesting thing is that Jared's half-hard too.
"Thank God I'm not much of a screamer in bed," Jensen whispers, wriggling as much as Jared's heavy weight allows. Which turns out to not be a lot. He tries to rub his bulge against Jared's to get some of the delicious friction he's dying for.
Jared keeps him immobilized though. No matter how hard Jensen tries, struggling underneath Jared's body, he just can't move. He just can't get into a better position to relieve some of the pressure.
Jensen groans in frustration. In the darkness of the room and without contacts or glasses, he can't see the expression on Jared's face, but from the way he hears Jared snort, it seems pretty clear that Jared is way too smug for his liking.
"I bet I could make you scream," Jared whispers seductively right against Jensen's ear.
Jensen moans at the implication. At the mere idea that Jared can give it to him so hard that Jensen will lose all restraint.
When you have a small child, an extremely curious child with light sleep on top of that, you have to learn how to be quiet. Even though Jensen never brought one of his flings home when he had his wild phase, he had to learn about being quiet. It was the sounds of him entering the apartment, the proclamation that he was home, that were enough to wake Audrey and make her crawl out of bed to greet him in the middle of the night.
After learning it the hard way, Jensen mastered being quiet and not making a sound.
"But not today," Jensen whispers softly.
His eyes drift shut again as he concentrates on feeling. Jared's weight as it pins him to the bed, Jared's heat, radiating from his groin, Jared's hardness, his butterfly kisses on Jensen's skin. Jensen bites his lower lip as Jared cups his face with both hands and rubs the tips of their noses together.
He knows what's coming. After all, he's been anticipating this all day.
When Jared's lips press against his, Jensen doesn't hesitate one second. He parts his lips and slips out his tongue to meet Jared's. There's still the taste of toothpaste, even though no longer as strong as last time they kissed.
Jared kisses him tentatively at first with only the slightest movements of tongue.
But Jensen has no time for teasing. No time for taking this slow. He's dying for a proper kiss, for a proper chance to reconnect to Jared like a thirsty man in the desert is dying for water. When he puts his hands on Jared's chest to roll him over, Jensen fails. Jared is too close for him to get enough leverage, too close for Jensen to get a good grip and use his strength to push Jared off. He's trapped. And totally at Jared's mercy.
Jensen's dick twitches happily.
Once he's accepted his fate and resigned to the fact that they're doing this Jared's way, Jensen concentrates on Jared's mouth again. He might not be able to roll on top of Jared, but he's not entirely helpless. So instead of waiting for Jared to give him what he wants, Jensen simply takes it.
He captures Jared's soft bottom lip with his teeth and bites down. Jared hisses and presses his hips harder against Jensen. This is heaven. Or at least, this is what heaven must feel like, Jensen thinks as they keep attacking each other's mouths, biting at lips, sucking at tongues.
There's too much spit and their noses bump awkwardly a few times but Jensen doesn't care. Not when he finally gets to taste Jared again, not when he gets what he's been wanting so badly. Jared is panting wetly against his mouth but soon enough Jared's lips wander over Jensen's face, to his throat and neck.
It's not only Jared's mouth that wanders. Jensen groans as Jared moves a few inches to the side so that he can skim his strong hands over Jensen's body, stroking from his face over his chest and further down. Jensen pushes all thoughts away and simply lets himself enjoy the sensation of Jared's hands caressing his body.
When Jared arrives at the waistband of Jensen's boxers and doesn't stop there - far from it - when Jared slips his hand underneath the fabric, Jensen's eyes spring wide open again. More out of reflex than anything else, he asks, "Jared, what are you doing?"
"Trying to have sex with you, dumbass," Jared laughs teasingly. Despite the darkness Jensen can see Jared shake his head, and if Jensen had his glasses and if there were just a little more light, he bets he could see Jared grin.
Jared whispers seductively, "I've always wanted to fuck in Jeff's bed."
A shiver runs down Jensen's spine - and it's not entirely of the good kind. "Jared-" he protests, but he doesn't get further than that because Jared captures his lips with another fierce kiss, pushing his tongue into Jensen's mouth.
Jensen thinks they really shouldn't be doing this, not in Jeff's bed, not in this house, but when Jared takes Jensen's erection in his hand, just holding it in a firm grip, Jensen throws all his good intentions overboard. Jensen makes a low, keening noise in the back of his throat when Jared doesn't move, when he does fucking nothing. Jared huffs a breath against Jensen's lips, and Jensen whines desperately again.
"Come on," Jensen pleads, "Don't tease. Not today."
Usually, Jensen doesn't mind Jared drawing out the act and making them both last longer. Usually, he doesn't mind because it gives them more time to explore each other's bodies and to learn what they like or dislike, after all Jared and he haven't been sleeping together for that long. But today Jensen doesn't think he can take it. Not when he's wanted Jared so badly all day.
"Okay, okay," Jared whispers.
Finally, he starts moving his hand up and down Jensen's shaft. Jared's fingers form a narrow ring, the pressure just right to be delicately pleasurable. With each upstroke, Jared squeezes Jensen's dick a little more, tightening his fist.
Jensen gasps when Jared wiggles the piercing at the underside of his cock. One would think that after all those years Jensen's had it, he'd get used to the extra stimulation. But he never did. And he hopes he never will. The sensation of Jared sliding his hand first over Jensen's intimate jewelry and then the head of Jensen's dick on each and every movement brings Jensen to the edge way too quickly.
His erection twitches excitedly and the heat in the pit of his stomach is an indicator that Jensen isn't going to last much longer. He moans again and bites down hard on Jared's shoulder, just to keep himself from groaning.
Jared hisses but doesn't slow his movements. Far from it, his hand only speeds up, stroking harder and faster. He turns his head and kisses the crook of Jensen's neck wetly.
"I wish I could be inside you," Jared moans, panting against Jensen's sensitive skin. "I wanna be inside you so bad. Wanna feel you, God, Jen."
Jared's voice is raw, needy, so goddamn desperate that Jensen's dick gives another violent twitch. Out of all times, now is not the moment to think about going all the way. They've had anal sex before, Jensen's felt Jared's huge cock inside him and just thinking back to how good it was makes Jensen's knees go weak. But even if they didn't have the problem of no lube and condom, Jensen's not sure this would be a good idea. Being so needy and desperate tonight, he's convinced that he would scream indeed if Jared gave it to him like that.
"No, Jared, no," he quickly moans.
"I know." Jared sounds just as disappointed as Jensen feels.
Jensen wishes he could just give Jared what he wants but the rational part of his mind, that small part that is still thinking clearly tells him that this is already pushing their luck. That's a risk Jensen's not willing to take.
Instead, Jensen reaches down and slips his hand underneath the soft fabric of Jared's boxers. The angle is all wrong and askew and Jensen can't stroke as easily as he'd like to. But Jared groans right next to his ear and seems to be enjoying himself.
They both try to keep the noises as low as possible, only the occasional moan to be heard between the panting and grunting. The heat in Jensen's belly is almost too much, too much to take. And there it is, the tickling sensation that tells Jensen that he's about to come any second.
"Jay, I- I-," he tries to warn.
It all happens too fast. When release finally washes over Jensen, unleashing all the tension, Jared bites down hard on Jensen's neck. While Jensen spills over Jared's hand, Jared's teeth dig sharply into Jensen's skin. Before the fog in Jensen's mind clears enough so that he can whisper, "No hickey," Jared is already sucking fiercely.
"Jay," Jensen whines and when Jared finally stops, Jensen fears it's too late. He's not looking forward to having a love bite tomorrow and being in the awkward position of having to explain to Jared's family where it came from all of a sudden.
"Sorry," Jared whispers. "I-"
This is where Jensen shuts Jared up effectively by giving his cock a good squeeze. There's nothing they can do about it now. Jensen's hasn't even come down from his orgasm yet so the last thing he wants now is Jared stuttering excuses.
Jared groans again, writhing against Jensen's body. If Jared is getting off on this, and it definitely looks like he is, then it's more from humping Jensen's leg than Jensen working his dick awkwardly. The angle is still handjob-incompatible, but soon enough, Jared starts whimpering.
And then Jared just freezes.
The next thing Jensen knows is how his hand feels warm and sticky. Jared finally rolls off and settles next to him. They don't speak for a while, but Jensen doesn't feel the need to. The only sound in the room is their harsh breathing as their bodies slowly unwind after their climaxes.
Absent-mindedly, Jensen wipes his hand on the sheets. The sheets of Jeff's old bed.
This reminds Jensen of something he's been dying to say ever since they arrived in San Antonio, "I don't think your brother likes me, Jared."
Jared doesn't say anything for a long time. Jensen lets his eyes close again, relaxing after the orgasm he just had. He sighs contently as Jared pushes harder against him, his frame strong and manly against Jensen's.
But then there's movement again and without looking, Jensen knows that Jared just sat up.
"Jeff? Yeah, right!" Jared laughs barely audible. "He just likes to act up. I think he likes you just fine."
And after a short pause, Jared asks somewhat between cheery and concerned, "He didn't punch you yet, right?"
This is when Jensen opens his eyes again, even though he still can't see Jared in the darkness of the room. "Uh, no."
Jensen doesn't know where that question came from but being punched by Jeff is something he doesn't want to experience ever. A guy with Jeff's build easily can break bones and Jensen assumes facial fractures are not pretty.
"See, then you're good," Jared answers happily before he lies back down next to Jensen.
"Is this a story I even want to hear?"
Jensen is sure that there's some story behind Jared's question, some kind of explanation. If he had to guess it involves Jeff punching a partner he didn't like of one of his siblings. Jensen's immediate though is that it must have been one of Jared's sister's boyfriends because Jeff doesn't look like the type of guy to hit women and since Jensen is Jared's first boyfriend, it kind of rules Jared out.
But it doesn't matter who the person was, Jensen doesn't feel comfortable with the implication. Period.
"No, you don't," Jared then says.
Once more he snuggles against Jensen, his hands drawing patterns over Jensen's chest.
"Okay," Jensen says, yawning loudly as fatigue overcomes him. "I have absolutely no clue about your father. I think your mother is quite okay with me, but your father. He was sort of distant all day and over the drink we had, he was pretty much friendly. Man, I have absolutely no idea."
Jared simply keeps stroking Jensen and it's such a pleasant gesture, so wonderfully lulling that Jensen struggles to stay awake.
"Yeah," Jared whispers. "I think you're doing great with Mom. Underneath it all, she already likes you. And Dad, he's just- he's always been that way with our partners. It takes a long time for him to warm up to someone."
Jared's hand travels up Jensen's body, over his neck to his cheek. Gently, he cups it.
"You know, it took him a while to accept Judy. And it also took him a while to accept Lisa and Megan's last boyfriend. All things considered, I think you're doing well with him, too."
Then Jared bends in and kisses Jensen. Because of the darkness in the room, Jared misses his mouth, his lips connecting to Jensen's closed eyelid. When Jensen snickers because it tickles, Jared snorts and apologizes. And then he kisses Jensen's eyelid again on purpose.
"Thank you so much for coming with me," Jared says, suddenly serious again. "Thank you for doing this for me. I was such a fool to believe I could come to my mother's birthday without my family."
Jensen doesn't even know what to say to that. Jared sounds small, a little defeated and Jensen knows that today has been incredibly hard for Jared. He's simply glad that he could give Jared a bit of comfort, that his presence turned out to be useful in the end and that it did Jared well.
"Don't mention it," Jensen whispers.
And then Jared buries his face in the crook of Jensen's neck. His breath is hot and wet against Jensen's skin, tickling very lightly. Jensen's arms come around Jared's body, his fingers interlinking behind Jared's back as he holds him.
"You probably should go back to your own bed before you fall asleep here," Jensen whispers with a heavy heart. He'd hate to lose the warmth of Jared's body against his, the feeling of safety it brings when Jared's so close to him. Yet he also knows that he doesn't want to be caught in the same bed as Jared tomorrow morning.
God, he feels like a teenager.
"I just wanna lay with you for a few minutes. You're not gonna chase me away, are you?" Jared pleads, his voice muffled.
Jensen knows this is a bad idea. He knows he should be strong enough to ask Jared to tiptoe back into his room. But he can't. He just can't. So instead, Jensen tightens his arms around Jared and tries to think about nothing for a few minutes.
It's the squeaking sound of the door that wakes Jensen up. The trance of sleep is still somewhat lingering as Jensen slides his arm to the side, expecting to find a warm but empty spot next to him where Jared lay seconds ago. When his hand meets skin, smooth and slightly damp from sleep, Jensen's brain does the math immediately.
Holy shit.
Jensen's eyes spring wide open in shock. Once he managed to grab his glasses from the bedside table and to push them onto his nose, it's only to look into the angry face of Sharon.
She stands in the doorway and her face is twitching with fury. Quickly, Jensen slaps a hand to the side, smacking Jared loud enough for there to be a sound. He does it again. Jared groans and protests next to him, his sounds mostly swallowed by the pillow.
In a way, it's like an atrocious car accident. Jensen knows he should look away but yet he can't tear his gaze from Sharon who keeps glaring at him, at them.
"Jared," Jensen says. "Wake up."
Another slap and Jared turns around and finally blinks at Jensen. When Jensen nods to in the direction of the door, Jared's gazes follows to where Jensen's head is tilted. With a curse, Jared sits up in bed abruptly, staring at Sharon. Before Jensen or Jared can stutter any excuses, Sharon is gone, slamming the door on her way out.
"Fuck," Jensen says as Jared stares at him.
They're both breathing heavily, panting and not believing what just happened. Or at least Jensen doesn't believe it. He knew that this was a bad idea and that he should have shooed Jared out of the room before they fell asleep.
Jensen's going to have a fantastic stand with Jared's family now. He's such an idiot.
Just as Jensen wants to feel sorry for himself, Jared cracks up. He throws his head back and laughs loud and hard, in fact, so loud and hard that Jensen is startled at first. When Jensen looks at Jared in confusion, he sees tears of laughter pool in the corner of his eyes.
"What's so funny, Bigfoot?" Jensen asks curiously. He has no clue what's going on. The last thing on Jensen's mind is laughing his ass off. Seriously.
But Jared doesn't stop laughing for another few good minutes. As soon as he's regained his composure enough to be only snickering, he says, "Did you see her face?"
Oh yeah, Jensen certainly did. And he doesn't know what's so hilarious about Sharon being angry. He doesn't find this whole thing funny and starts to tell Jared so, when Jared whispers, "At least we're not going to have to argue about who sleeps where tonight."
And then Jared kisses him. It's gross because of their morning breath but when Jared's tongue demands entrance, Jensen gives in willingly. They don't kiss for long because Jensen's sure that after what Sharon just saw, she'll expect them downstairs very soon. Maybe if Jared and he stay in bed for too long, Sharon will have even wilder theories of what they're doing - even though they're not doing anything at all.
"What a nice birthday present for your mother," Jensen says, finally getting up.
Out of the corner of his eye, Jensen sees Jared flinch. He doesn't comment on what Jensen just said but instead he quietly watches Jensen grab some clean clothes. Jared looks at him longingly for a few long seconds. Finally, Jensen holds out his hand and when Jared takes it, Jensen gives him a pull to make him get out of bed.
They're in the bathroom together. Jensen showers as Jared brushes his teeth and shaves and then they switch places. Now that he's clean and presentable, Jensen thinks he's ready to face Jared's family and the accusations he assumes are going to come.
"They're gonna be fine," Jared says as he leads Jensen down into the kitchen. But from the tone of Jared's voice, Jensen's no longer sure Jared believes it himself.
The whole family is there. The delicious smell of pancakes and maple syrup makes Jensen's belly rumble, making him realize only now how hungry he is. When they enter the kitchen, they just wait there for a moment. Awkwardly.
Sharon stands by the stove and if she's still angry, she's hiding it extremely well. Sophie and Audrey sit at the table, next to Gerald, all three of them in front of a huge plate full of pancakes, sausages and bacon.
"Sit down, boys," Sharon says over her shoulder. It's neither overly sharp nor overly sweet.
As Jared walks up to her, it's a little edgy. He's tense, Jensen can see that, yet Jared embraces her from behind. Then he kisses her cheek wetly and says, "Happy Birthday, Momma."
Jensen holds his breath as he waits for Sharon's reaction. He sees that Jared doesn't relax either and really, it's no wonder. But when Sharon smiles at Jared and thanks him with a kiss, she seems cheery and happy, no traces of the angry woman from just minuets ago. Jared's shoulders immediately settle and a grin spreads on his face.
Jensen is totally taken aback by how both Jared and Sharon pretend nothing had happened. He feels as if someone slapped him in the face. It makes Jensen uncomfortable how they're both ignoring the fact that Sharon caught Jensen and Jared in bed together this morning even though she had told them explicitly to sleep in separate rooms the evening before.
In Jensen's family this would have been handled differently. Not that there would have been yelling, but there would have been a heated discussion at least. But the situation here just makes Jensen feel as if they were in the calm before a big storm, and somehow this makes him uneasy.
It also reminds Jensen how little he knows about this family, how hard it is for him to read them.
Soon enough Jensen remembers his manners and wishes Sharon a Happy Birthday. He doesn't know whether he should hug her or whether he should shake her hand - just the mere thought seems weird to Jensen - or whether he should only say something. But before Jensen can think about this in detail, Sharon takes the decision away from him by pulling him close for a hug.
"Go sit down now," she says to Jared and a very confused Jensen.
Jensen and Jared kiss their daughters good morning (when Jensen uses the opportunity to ask Audrey as subtly as he can whether she wished Sharon a Happy Birthday too) and then they thank Sharon politely as she sets two plates full of pancakes, eggs, sausages and bacon down in front of them. Jensen's absolutely baffled by the non-communication that's going on and how no one seems to notice or care beside him.
Before Sharon sits down with them, she kisses the top of both Audrey and Sophie's heads. For a heartbeat Jensen catches an angry glimpse in her eyes as she looks at Jensen's throat. And then he remembers:
The hickey. The thing that'll remind her all day that her son and his boyfriend disobeyed her rules.
Jensen wishes he had selected a shirt with a proper collar this morning. He feels weird showing off a love bite when all it's going to do is make Sharon angry. Somehow he feels protective and wishes he could somehow hide the intimate mark.
Gerald tries to make some small talk over breakfast, asking Jensen and Jared how they slept. While Jared concentrates on his father and answers his question, Jensen catches a furious gleam in Sharon's eyes. Just like the first, it's there for just a heartbeat. But nonetheless, even though Jensen nearly misses it, it's still clearly there.
Jensen swallows the lump in his throat, only half-listening to Jared and his father making plans for the day.
Index | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 & Additional Notes and Thanks
"Join me for a drink, Jensen," Gerald invites, his tone making it clear though that he won't be taking no for an answer. If he could, Jensen would decline the offer and go to bed, but he knows better and so he accepts the drink. Gerald hands him a glass of whiskey before he pours one for himself.
"Thank you," Jensen says, slightly uncomfortable about being alone with Jared's father. Gerald was mostly quiet during their evening out and apart from his earlier comment on Jensen and Jared's lifestyle, he's been distant but friendly.
Jensen simply doesn't know where he stands. He wonders whether he should start an intelligent discussion on something, anything, but Jensen's too tired to force himself to really think.
Instead he lets his eyes wander over the décor of the Padaleckis' living room. It reminds him a lot of his own parents' home. The style of the furniture is a little more modern than at Jensen's parents' house and the colors are lighter too. But there's one thing that is just like home: there are pictures of family everywhere, showing children at graduation day, grandparents with grandchildren, children doing sports or playing instruments.
Jensen looks out of the glass backdoor that leads to the patio and the backyard. It's dark outside so he can't see anything but just from the style of the house, he's got the impression that it's not small.
One of the reasons why Jensen finally wanted to meet Jared's family is because he believes that knowing where a person comes from, knowing their family and how they grew up, makes it easier to understand the other person. He's drawn back to the pictures on the shelves by the deep need to find this understanding of Jared.
He spots Jared a few times. There's a picture of him, maybe being fourteen or fifteen, playing basketball. On the photo, Jared's a lanky kid with pimples and nowhere near as strong as the muscular, attractive man Jensen knows.
"We had hoped Jared would become a famous NBA star and win the Spurs the championship," Gerald laughs, coming to stand next to Jensen.
The laugh startles Jensen at first but when he glances to the side he sees incredible pride in Gerald's eyes. Jensen smiles to himself, pleased by this glimpse of Gerald.
He knew it.
Despite everything that happened, Jared's parents love Jared and are proud of him. It would have pained Jensen to see otherwise, it would have pained him to see Jared's parents turn away from him because of this whole not-straight-thing. Instead, Jensen gets the impression that Jared's parents still love him unconditionally, even though they might not be handling the situation that well yet.
But underneath it all, there's definitely a lot of love.
"Jared was always the tallest kid in class," Gerald goes on. "All the men in our family are big and even Megan is tall for a girl. Jared always loved playing basketball so we thought he should try for a career. But in the end, it didn't work out."
There is no regret in Gerald's voice at all. After a short pause he adds, "That doesn't mean we're not proud of him for his actual career choice. He's saving people's lives and that makes us just as proud."
Jensen smiles and takes a sip from his drink. The whisky burns his throat, hot and raw as he savors the full-bodied and rich taste of the bourbon. Jensen knows he needs to drink this slowly. At the restaurant, he didn't just drink one beer, but instead he had several. Alcohol tends to make Jensen sleepy and after the day he had, he doesn't need to add to the exhaustion he already feels.
"Jared's incredibly passionate when it comes to his job," Jensen says softly. "I admire him for that."
Gerald nods and then he asks, "Say, Jensen, do you have a favorite basketball team?"
Jensen snorts and shakes his head. "I do, but I'm afraid you won't like it. When it comes to sports, I'm a Dallas boy all the way."
Gerald throws his head back and laughs. He even pats Jensen on the back. Immediately, Jensen tenses again because the man just fucking confuses him with his change from not friendly to very friendly. He should be glad that Gerald seems to be warming up to him too but somehow Jensen is just a little intimidated by that.
"Fair enough," Gerald says.
They're quiet then and Jensen takes a few more nervous sips from his whiskey. When Gerald offers him another, Jensen gladly accepts it although he probably shouldn't.
Jensen is looking at more pictures that show the whole family, including Jared's brother and sister when he hears Gerald say, "This is all very new to us."
Immediately, Jensen turns around to look at him. Gerald looks tired and maybe even a little helpless. Before Jensen can say anything, Gerald goes on, "In the past, we didn't even consider the possibility that one of our children could be homosexual. Even when Jared didn't date after Lisa died, we just thought he was busy with his job and taking care of Sophie. We never thought it was because he might be gay. This came as a big surprise."
Jensen's not sure whether he should correct Gerald and tell him that Jared isn't even gay but bisexual and that he didn't consider himself bi until he met Jensen. What happens if he does? Will Jared's family hate Jensen and blame him for turning Jared gay? Will they not care? Jared sure never made any efforts to go on a date with women after he lost his wife, but not because he doubted his sexuality but rather because he just wasn't interested in dating per se.
In the end, Jensen thinks it's better if he leaves it to Jared to tell his family certain things and maybe others not.
"Allow me to say this, but Jared and I know that. I came out to my parents when I was 19 and my parents were very shocked too because they didn't expect it at all. I guess that's normal," Jensen says.
Jensen takes another sip from his drink. He's somewhat relieved that they're finally talking about this. All day he felt like they were dancing around each other and not addressing matters that should be discussed. All day he was full of tension because he expected Jared's parents to snap and start with the accusations and when it didn't happen, Jensen just couldn't put his mind at ease, always waiting for the big blow up.
"It's just a very big change for us and something we need to get used to. I suppose when I say we, I mostly mean myself," Gerald laughs nervously. "Sherri seems to be handling this rather well."
"I know. Believe me when I say that this is also a very big change for us, Jared and I. But especially Jared," Jensen says softly. "Coming out to his family and friends was a difficult and big step for him but it's important."
Jensen glances at Gerald, looks him directly in the eyes. Gerald studies him and beneath that curiosity there's something that Jensen can't read. It's a little unnerving but still he says what's on his mind, "Jared is just as confused as you are right now. In a way, he has to find out again who he really is. Realizing and admitting to yourself that you're gay is sort of like going through a second puberty."
Now it's Jensen's turn to laugh nervously, not even sure why. He doesn't know whether those are things he should tell Gerald or whether he should rather leave it to Jared himself or at least wait until Jared's with them, but Gerald started this and Jensen just gives him answers to his questions.
"We still love Jared even though we're maybe less than euphoric at the moment." Gerald runs a hand over his face as he says this. Jensen assumes that he's talking about the way he greeted Jared earlier. This only confirms Jensen's impression that a pat on the back is not the way Jared is usually welcomed by his father.
Suddenly there's a strange longing inside Jensen. Throughout the day, ever since they actually met Jared's family, Jensen just wanted five minutes alone with Jared. Five minutes for a stolen kiss, five minutes to exchange their perceptions of how things are going. Instead Jensen had to rely on his own judgment and that's something that's nearly driving him insane. He can't wait to finally go to bed with Jared. Even though it might make him sound like a petulant child, all he wants is his boyfriend.
Jensen is so deep in thought that he at first thinks that he maybe imagined Gerald say the next bit, that maybe his ears tricked him.
"And we want him to be happy. Whatever that means."
But when he looks at Gerald again, Jensen is sure that he didn't just imagine it. A warm feeling spreads in Jensen's belly and he's so happy he's grinning.
"I think you should tell him," Jensen suggests. "Jared's very unsure about this and a little confirmation that you're okay certainly would do him good. I mean, I've been telling him, but I'm only his boyfriend. It's kinda my job to be supportive."
Gerald smiles and nods again. "Thank you. I-"
He doesn't get further than that as Jared and Sharon enter the living room. Whatever Gerald wanted to say, he doesn't seem to want to say it in front of Jared and Sharon.
Jared smiles and Jensen sees that this day has taken its toll on Jared, too. Jared looks as if he's about to drop dead any second.
"Hey," Jensen says as Jared approaches him. Jensen once more wishes he could curl up with Jared and finally fall asleep. Definitely after a serious session of making out, Jensen thinks as he watches Jared lick his lips.
"Hey," Jared says back. And when he sees Jensen and his father standing in front of the pictures, he asks curiously, "What are you doing?"
Jensen smiles and holds out his arm for Jared to come over. He puts his arm around Jared's waist and strokes softly over the strong line of Jared's side. The touch feels good; the little shivers Jared gives him turn Jensen on a little. For a moment he totally forgets about Jared's parents and when he does, he quickly tries to jerk his arm away. But Jared's hand is quicker as it lands on top of Jensen's and holds it to his body.
Jensen gulps nervously. He knows that his own parents don't really like it when he's affectionate with his partners in front of them and since Jensen doesn't know about Jared's parents, he'd rather not push his luck. But now that his arm's trapped, he'll trust Jared that it's okay and that Jared wouldn't do anything on purpose to piss his family off.
Relaxing somewhat, Jensen says with a smile, "Your father filled me in about your failed basketball career."
When Jared laughs and throws his head back, Jensen relaxes some more.
"The girls in bed?" he then asks, continuing to stroke over Jared's flank.
Jared becomes serious again. There's a gentle look on his face when he answers, "Yeah, they were dead to the world immediately. It's been an incredibly exciting day for them."
When Jared licks his lips, Jensen is so mesmerized, almost in trance, that all he can do is stare. He's once more painfully reminded that he'd die for a kiss right now to show Jared the love he feels. After the day they've had he wants nothing more than to kiss Jared's plush lips and sweep his tongue over them softly to reassure how proud he is of Jared and how happy Jared makes him.
"Would you like a drink, Jared?" Gerald asks, already walking over to the cabinet where the glasses and the whiskey are.
"Dad, I'm sorry, but I think Jensen and I should go to bed, too. I'm nearly falling asleep just standing here."
As if to verify his point, Jared tries to stifle a yawn. Everyone laughs when he fails. Jared's yawn is contagious and soon enough, Jensen has to follow suit.
"You boys go to sleep now," Sharon suggests and Jensen is so happy that he'd grab her and swirl her around and maybe kiss her cheek sloppily if he could. Bed, finally.
Jensen and Jared say goodnight and by the time they've reached the bottom of the staircase, Sharon calls out for them again. Once she catches up with them, she looks at Jared and says, "We prepared Jeff's old room for Jensen. Your old room is set and ready for you, too, Jared."
The smiles on Jensen and Jared's faces freeze while the expression on Sharon's face tells Jensen that she won't accept any bullshit and that this is not up for discussion.
What the fuck? They want them to sleep in separate rooms?
Jensen wishes he were in a position to protest because he is really not okay with this. During dinner Sharon was practically beaming when Jared told his family the latest news about Jensen and he looking for a house. The fact that Jensen and Jared are moving in together should show pretty clearly that they're both taking this relationship very serious and it's not hard to imagine that they've been intimate with each other.
But this is probably exactly Sharon's problem.
And while Jensen doesn't have the guts to argue with her, Jared does plenty.
"Mom, you've got to be kidding me," Jared says, trying to keep his voice down. From the way his mouth twitches and his eyebrows draw together, Jensen can tell that Jared is extremely agitated.
"Jared, do I look like I'm kidding?" Sharon then asks. "Jensen sleeps in Jeff's room, you sleep in your own."
"Why?" Jared bursts out.
To Jensen it seems pretty obvious. However, he doesn't know Jared's family and his tentative guess is nothing more than that: a guess. But then Sharon sort of confirms what Jensen has been thinking, "Because the two of you are not sleeping in the same room under our roof until you're married. You know this is a rule that applies to all of our children."
She speaks very quickly and does a fumbling gesture with her hand. Jensen can't tell whether she does it because she's just as agitated as Jared or whether she hopes it'll help bring her point across.
When Jensen looks at Jared, he sees how Jared's face goes cold, how a hard expression spreads across Jared's face. Jensen's stomach drops as he has the uneasy feeling of being in the middle of something he doesn't want to be. He's never seen Jared so angry. He never even thought that Jared had it in him to be this angry because Jared's always so happy and goddamn nice.
For a quick moment, Jensen lets his mind drift off to the first time he met Jared. Audrey and Sophie repeatedly got into fights at school and it had to happen three times until Jared came to pick up Sophie himself and didn't send Sandy to get Sophie instead. Jensen remembers how he accused Jared of being a horrible parent who cared more about his job than his child back then.
Boy, was he wrong.
Soon enough, after the reason of Audrey and Sophie's quarrels had been cleared up, the girls became friends. Without anyone taking notice, Jensen and Jared followed suit and formed their own friendship. The rest, they say, is history.
Yet during the whole development from acquaintances to friends to family to lovers, Jared never held a grudge against Jensen. So Jensen can definitely say he's surprised to see Jared like this.
"Hah, great, thanks. You know what, Jensen and I will never be able to fulfill your interpretation of marriage, Mom, because we're both men," Jared snarls angrily, his voice rising. He draws Jensen's mind back into the matter at hand. "Does that mean that you're never going to let us share a room, not even after years?"
The fact that Jared just told his mother that he considers their relationship to be very serious makes this whole nightmare a little easier for Jensen. Even though Jensen sometimes still finds this relationship overwhelming, he loves the fact that Jared is thinking long-term already and that this is as important to Jared as it is to him.
But still or maybe rather because of this, Jensen thinks Jared should accept his mother's wish. He doesn't like it one bit that he can't sleep next to Jared tonight but if they want a good relationship with Jared's parents in the future, it might be a good idea to bite the bullet this one time.
Just like Jared's, Sharon's voice gets louder too and Jensen fears this is going to escalate any minute. "A rule is a rule, Jared. And just because you're gay doesn't mean we're not making any exceptions for you."
Sharon's expression is challenging, daring Jared to talk back. Knowing Jared, Jensen assumes this is exactly what Jared will do. Since Jensen really doesn't look forward to witnessing a fight between Jared and his mother, he grabs Jared's hand and squeezes it. But Jared doesn't even react to that.
"Is there a problem?"
There's a stern look on Gerald's face and for a split second, Jensen wonders whether he heard anything and how much he heard. Jensen also wonders whether he and Jared sleeping in separate rooms is something that Gerald and Sharon agreed on or whether this is something that comes from Jared's mother.
Gerald looks back and forth between Jared and Sharon, still expecting an answer.
"No, honey. Jared and I were just discussing at what time they need to get up tomorrow morning. You know your son," Sharon says sweetly.
Jared snorts and says something unintelligible but neither Gerald nor Sharon comment. Jensen squeezes Jared's hand again and then he says, "It's been a long day. I guess Jared and I better go. Goodnight."
Jensen doesn't even wait for a proper reply before he shoves Jared up the stairs and out of his parents' sight. Once they reached the top of the stairs, Jensen allows himself to take a few deep breaths. Jared looks at him with angry eyes and even though Jensen knows that the anger is not directed at him, it makes him shiver.
Jared storms off into one of the rooms. Jensen doesn't know what to think of that, after all he didn't do Jared wrong. He understands that Jared is angry and that maybe Jared needs a moment to cool off. When Jared re-emerges from his room and enters the bathroom, Jensen goes to search for the room he'll sleep in. It doesn't take him long to find it and since he didn't hear Jared turn the lock, he decides to join Jared in the bathroom.
When Jensen closes the door, he sees Jared look up from the sink. Jared's posture is tense and as soon as he sees that it's Jensen, it relaxes only slightly. Bumping his hip against Jared's he tries to make him scoot over a little so that they can use it together. Quietly they brush their teeth and wash their faces.
"Don't be mad at them, Jared. It's not worth it," Jensen says after spitting into the sink.
Jared's flossing his teeth and between a back and forth movement, he says, "That's easy for you to say. They're not your parents, Jensen."
Jared still sounds annoyed and Jensen gets why. He really does, so he tells him. "Don't think it doesn't annoy me that we can't share a room, Jared. Believe me, after this day, I want nothing more than to fall asleep with you."
Jensen places a hand on Jared's back and strokes it. Jared's muscles are incredibly stiff and so Jensen has to use a little bit of pressure.
"But if it means your parents are going to be okay with us sooner, then I'm willing to accept it," Jensen says as he presses against a particularly tense spot.
When Jared whines a little, Jensen doesn't know whether it's because of Jensen's statement or the movement of his hand, "Jensen."
"No, listen to me, Jared. It's only for two nights, okay? It's not worth the fight. Yeah?"
Determinedly, Jensen looks at Jared. He hopes that Jared will understand that in the end, these two days are for a higher cause, that these two days are the groundwork for their future relationship with Jared's parents and that it's important this weekend goes somewhat well.
"Yeah," Jared agrees eventually. Jensen feels incredibly relieved. At least they're not going to fight on top of everything else.
Jared finishes flossing his teeth and when his focus shifts back to Jensen, Jensen leers at him. When Jared looks at him with a slightly confused expression, Jensen says seductively, "As soon as we're back home, we can have all the sex you want. I promise I'll let you do to me whatever you want. Just- just let's get through this weekend together."
A huge grin spreads across Jared's face that indicates very clearly that Jared likes the idea. He licks his lips and if this does one thing to Jensen, then it's to make him die for a kiss. Jensen knows they shouldn't but he can't help it. He really can't. With the intention for kiss just to be a chaste peck, Jensen presses his mouth to Jared's, tasting mint toothpaste.
Jared immediately parts his lips, slipping his tongue out and meeting Jensen's. Their kiss is warm and wet and soft. Their tongues circle, their spit mixing. Beneath the toothpaste, Jared tastes sweet, heavenly and immediately Jensen's dick grows half-hard. He really has to concentrate in order not to groan out loud.
The thing is, Jensen's dying for more. He wishes he could just run his hands over Jared's body and take what he wants, touch Jared and feel his naked skin underneath his palms. But he knows better. He knows better than to let himself get carried away. Mostly because he knows what's going to happen if he doesn't keep a clear head now.
The kiss becomes more urgent and by the time Jared starts biting him, none too gently, Jensen is already fully hard. Jared's hands come around his waist and when Jared tugs his body close so that they're aligned flush against one another, Jensen feels the heat in Jared's groin.
When Jensen pulls away, Jared whines low in his throat. Something inside Jensen is dying because there's nothing he'd rather do than give his boyfriend the physical contact they crave. There's nothing he'd rather do than show Jared how much he loves him. But he can't.
Jared looks at him with disappointed eyes, the lust so clear. And it breaks Jensen's heart a little to say, "No, Jared. We can't."
"I know," Jared sighs disappointedly. "But it's so hard. I see you and I want to touch you. I've been dying to touch all day and it drives me insane that you're so close and yet-"
Jensen silences Jared with another kiss. This is exactly how he's been feeling too. These are exactly the same thoughts that have been running through Jensen's mind ever since they arrived. And hearing Jared say them with so much desperation and need in his voice doesn't make things easier for Jensen.
"Let's just go to bed, okay?" Jensen suggests again. "I'm gonna drop dead any second."
Jared nods and together they walk out of the bathroom and into the hallway. For a few long moments, they simply look at each other, not saying a word. Jensen takes Jared's strong hands in his, softly stroking the pads of his thumbs over the backs of Jared's hands.
"All things considered, today didn't go too badly, right?" Jensen asks. Jensen knows that now might be their only chance to talk about this because they have no idea what tomorrow will bring and what the plans are. But Jensen needs to keep this short because he's really tired, fearing that he's going to fall asleep any second.
Jared smiles at him and nods, his previous anger gone. There's an expression of exhaustion on his face and once more Jensen thinks that this day has taken its toll on both of them. "Absolutely. It didn't go as badly as I feared it would. There was only little yelling."
"Yeah."
Jensen goes up on tiptoes and presses another chaste kiss to Jared's lips. And then he suggests, "Let's see if we can talk about this tomorrow, okay?"
"Yeah, okay," Jared agrees. Before he turns around to go into his room, he cups Jensen's cheek and strokes softly over it. With a smile, he says, "Goodnight, Jensen."
Longingly, Jensen watches him go and as soon as the bedroom door closes, he whispers, "Goodnight, Jared."
Jensen doesn't know for how long he has been in bed, unable to fall asleep. It feels strange to him to sleep in the bed that used to be Jeff's. Jeff's of all people.
When he's woken by a cool swoosh of air against his side and then the mattress dipping right next to him, he doesn't know either for how long he has been sleeping. He opens his eyes but in the near darkness of the room he can't make out anything. Not that it would be that much of a difference in the bright daylight. Fact is, Jensen Ackles is pretty much blind without his contacts or glasses.
It's the smell that he recognizes. The type of shower gel and shampoo that is only very, very faint at this time of night, underneath a scent that is so essentially Jared that Jensen would recognize it always, everywhere.
"Hi," Jared whispers as he slips underneath the comforter, next to Jensen.
"Hi," Jensen whispers right back. Maybe he should protest that they shouldn't be doing this, that they should be respecting Jared's parents' rules instead, but with Jared pressed so close to his, Jensen can't force himself.
Almost immediately, Jared wraps his body around Jensen like a human blanket. Or an octopus. Or just… Jared. Jared's feet are cold and Jensen shivers a little as Jared rubs against Jensen's calves to warm them up.
"Shouldn't you be in your own bed?" Jensen teases. Jared sighs happily as Jensen starts running his hands up and down Jared's arms.
Instead of answering, Jared buries his face in the crook of Jensen's neck, his breath dancing warmly over Jensen's skin. Jensen nearly moans at the pleasant sensation of Jared being so close but he knows they'll get into hot water if they make too much noise and get caught.
So Jensen squirms silently, pressing his needy body closer to Jared's. They're both only wearing shorts and shirts, not nearly enough to hide the heat of their bodies.
"Hm, maybe," Jared whispers flirtily. As Jared licks the shell of Jensen's ear teasingly slow, right before he tugs at the fleshy part of the lobe gently with his teeth, a shiver rocks Jensen's body. After a short pause, Jared adds somewhat seriously, "D'you want me to go?"
"No!"
God, now that was desperate. Jensen wants to hit himself because he sounds so needy, so eager. But he just can't help it. Even though it's only been half a day since being able to behave like a couple, he still missed Jared. Having him so close all afternoon and evening and not even being able to steal a quick kiss nearly drove Jensen insane.
Looking at Jared, Jensen can say he's not to blame at all. He's just a guy with an incredibly hot boyfriend; an incredibly hot boyfriend that he couldn't touch because it might have been considered inappropriate. Jensen thinks it's totally understandable that he's longing to reconnect to Jared now.
Jared laughs lightly. "You'll just have to be quiet then."
Just like that Jensen grows half-hard. Maybe he should be embarrassed because of his teenager-like reaction and because all it takes is Jared whispering dirty implications in his hushed bedroom voice, but when Jared shifts on top of Jensen, Jensen smirks. Jared traps him beneath him, pining him to the mattress. But the really interesting thing is that Jared's half-hard too.
"Thank God I'm not much of a screamer in bed," Jensen whispers, wriggling as much as Jared's heavy weight allows. Which turns out to not be a lot. He tries to rub his bulge against Jared's to get some of the delicious friction he's dying for.
Jared keeps him immobilized though. No matter how hard Jensen tries, struggling underneath Jared's body, he just can't move. He just can't get into a better position to relieve some of the pressure.
Jensen groans in frustration. In the darkness of the room and without contacts or glasses, he can't see the expression on Jared's face, but from the way he hears Jared snort, it seems pretty clear that Jared is way too smug for his liking.
"I bet I could make you scream," Jared whispers seductively right against Jensen's ear.
Jensen moans at the implication. At the mere idea that Jared can give it to him so hard that Jensen will lose all restraint.
When you have a small child, an extremely curious child with light sleep on top of that, you have to learn how to be quiet. Even though Jensen never brought one of his flings home when he had his wild phase, he had to learn about being quiet. It was the sounds of him entering the apartment, the proclamation that he was home, that were enough to wake Audrey and make her crawl out of bed to greet him in the middle of the night.
After learning it the hard way, Jensen mastered being quiet and not making a sound.
"But not today," Jensen whispers softly.
His eyes drift shut again as he concentrates on feeling. Jared's weight as it pins him to the bed, Jared's heat, radiating from his groin, Jared's hardness, his butterfly kisses on Jensen's skin. Jensen bites his lower lip as Jared cups his face with both hands and rubs the tips of their noses together.
He knows what's coming. After all, he's been anticipating this all day.
When Jared's lips press against his, Jensen doesn't hesitate one second. He parts his lips and slips out his tongue to meet Jared's. There's still the taste of toothpaste, even though no longer as strong as last time they kissed.
Jared kisses him tentatively at first with only the slightest movements of tongue.
But Jensen has no time for teasing. No time for taking this slow. He's dying for a proper kiss, for a proper chance to reconnect to Jared like a thirsty man in the desert is dying for water. When he puts his hands on Jared's chest to roll him over, Jensen fails. Jared is too close for him to get enough leverage, too close for Jensen to get a good grip and use his strength to push Jared off. He's trapped. And totally at Jared's mercy.
Jensen's dick twitches happily.
Once he's accepted his fate and resigned to the fact that they're doing this Jared's way, Jensen concentrates on Jared's mouth again. He might not be able to roll on top of Jared, but he's not entirely helpless. So instead of waiting for Jared to give him what he wants, Jensen simply takes it.
He captures Jared's soft bottom lip with his teeth and bites down. Jared hisses and presses his hips harder against Jensen. This is heaven. Or at least, this is what heaven must feel like, Jensen thinks as they keep attacking each other's mouths, biting at lips, sucking at tongues.
There's too much spit and their noses bump awkwardly a few times but Jensen doesn't care. Not when he finally gets to taste Jared again, not when he gets what he's been wanting so badly. Jared is panting wetly against his mouth but soon enough Jared's lips wander over Jensen's face, to his throat and neck.
It's not only Jared's mouth that wanders. Jensen groans as Jared moves a few inches to the side so that he can skim his strong hands over Jensen's body, stroking from his face over his chest and further down. Jensen pushes all thoughts away and simply lets himself enjoy the sensation of Jared's hands caressing his body.
When Jared arrives at the waistband of Jensen's boxers and doesn't stop there - far from it - when Jared slips his hand underneath the fabric, Jensen's eyes spring wide open again. More out of reflex than anything else, he asks, "Jared, what are you doing?"
"Trying to have sex with you, dumbass," Jared laughs teasingly. Despite the darkness Jensen can see Jared shake his head, and if Jensen had his glasses and if there were just a little more light, he bets he could see Jared grin.
Jared whispers seductively, "I've always wanted to fuck in Jeff's bed."
A shiver runs down Jensen's spine - and it's not entirely of the good kind. "Jared-" he protests, but he doesn't get further than that because Jared captures his lips with another fierce kiss, pushing his tongue into Jensen's mouth.
Jensen thinks they really shouldn't be doing this, not in Jeff's bed, not in this house, but when Jared takes Jensen's erection in his hand, just holding it in a firm grip, Jensen throws all his good intentions overboard. Jensen makes a low, keening noise in the back of his throat when Jared doesn't move, when he does fucking nothing. Jared huffs a breath against Jensen's lips, and Jensen whines desperately again.
"Come on," Jensen pleads, "Don't tease. Not today."
Usually, Jensen doesn't mind Jared drawing out the act and making them both last longer. Usually, he doesn't mind because it gives them more time to explore each other's bodies and to learn what they like or dislike, after all Jared and he haven't been sleeping together for that long. But today Jensen doesn't think he can take it. Not when he's wanted Jared so badly all day.
"Okay, okay," Jared whispers.
Finally, he starts moving his hand up and down Jensen's shaft. Jared's fingers form a narrow ring, the pressure just right to be delicately pleasurable. With each upstroke, Jared squeezes Jensen's dick a little more, tightening his fist.
Jensen gasps when Jared wiggles the piercing at the underside of his cock. One would think that after all those years Jensen's had it, he'd get used to the extra stimulation. But he never did. And he hopes he never will. The sensation of Jared sliding his hand first over Jensen's intimate jewelry and then the head of Jensen's dick on each and every movement brings Jensen to the edge way too quickly.
His erection twitches excitedly and the heat in the pit of his stomach is an indicator that Jensen isn't going to last much longer. He moans again and bites down hard on Jared's shoulder, just to keep himself from groaning.
Jared hisses but doesn't slow his movements. Far from it, his hand only speeds up, stroking harder and faster. He turns his head and kisses the crook of Jensen's neck wetly.
"I wish I could be inside you," Jared moans, panting against Jensen's sensitive skin. "I wanna be inside you so bad. Wanna feel you, God, Jen."
Jared's voice is raw, needy, so goddamn desperate that Jensen's dick gives another violent twitch. Out of all times, now is not the moment to think about going all the way. They've had anal sex before, Jensen's felt Jared's huge cock inside him and just thinking back to how good it was makes Jensen's knees go weak. But even if they didn't have the problem of no lube and condom, Jensen's not sure this would be a good idea. Being so needy and desperate tonight, he's convinced that he would scream indeed if Jared gave it to him like that.
"No, Jared, no," he quickly moans.
"I know." Jared sounds just as disappointed as Jensen feels.
Jensen wishes he could just give Jared what he wants but the rational part of his mind, that small part that is still thinking clearly tells him that this is already pushing their luck. That's a risk Jensen's not willing to take.
Instead, Jensen reaches down and slips his hand underneath the soft fabric of Jared's boxers. The angle is all wrong and askew and Jensen can't stroke as easily as he'd like to. But Jared groans right next to his ear and seems to be enjoying himself.
They both try to keep the noises as low as possible, only the occasional moan to be heard between the panting and grunting. The heat in Jensen's belly is almost too much, too much to take. And there it is, the tickling sensation that tells Jensen that he's about to come any second.
"Jay, I- I-," he tries to warn.
It all happens too fast. When release finally washes over Jensen, unleashing all the tension, Jared bites down hard on Jensen's neck. While Jensen spills over Jared's hand, Jared's teeth dig sharply into Jensen's skin. Before the fog in Jensen's mind clears enough so that he can whisper, "No hickey," Jared is already sucking fiercely.
"Jay," Jensen whines and when Jared finally stops, Jensen fears it's too late. He's not looking forward to having a love bite tomorrow and being in the awkward position of having to explain to Jared's family where it came from all of a sudden.
"Sorry," Jared whispers. "I-"
This is where Jensen shuts Jared up effectively by giving his cock a good squeeze. There's nothing they can do about it now. Jensen's hasn't even come down from his orgasm yet so the last thing he wants now is Jared stuttering excuses.
Jared groans again, writhing against Jensen's body. If Jared is getting off on this, and it definitely looks like he is, then it's more from humping Jensen's leg than Jensen working his dick awkwardly. The angle is still handjob-incompatible, but soon enough, Jared starts whimpering.
And then Jared just freezes.
The next thing Jensen knows is how his hand feels warm and sticky. Jared finally rolls off and settles next to him. They don't speak for a while, but Jensen doesn't feel the need to. The only sound in the room is their harsh breathing as their bodies slowly unwind after their climaxes.
Absent-mindedly, Jensen wipes his hand on the sheets. The sheets of Jeff's old bed.
This reminds Jensen of something he's been dying to say ever since they arrived in San Antonio, "I don't think your brother likes me, Jared."
Jared doesn't say anything for a long time. Jensen lets his eyes close again, relaxing after the orgasm he just had. He sighs contently as Jared pushes harder against him, his frame strong and manly against Jensen's.
But then there's movement again and without looking, Jensen knows that Jared just sat up.
"Jeff? Yeah, right!" Jared laughs barely audible. "He just likes to act up. I think he likes you just fine."
And after a short pause, Jared asks somewhat between cheery and concerned, "He didn't punch you yet, right?"
This is when Jensen opens his eyes again, even though he still can't see Jared in the darkness of the room. "Uh, no."
Jensen doesn't know where that question came from but being punched by Jeff is something he doesn't want to experience ever. A guy with Jeff's build easily can break bones and Jensen assumes facial fractures are not pretty.
"See, then you're good," Jared answers happily before he lies back down next to Jensen.
"Is this a story I even want to hear?"
Jensen is sure that there's some story behind Jared's question, some kind of explanation. If he had to guess it involves Jeff punching a partner he didn't like of one of his siblings. Jensen's immediate though is that it must have been one of Jared's sister's boyfriends because Jeff doesn't look like the type of guy to hit women and since Jensen is Jared's first boyfriend, it kind of rules Jared out.
But it doesn't matter who the person was, Jensen doesn't feel comfortable with the implication. Period.
"No, you don't," Jared then says.
Once more he snuggles against Jensen, his hands drawing patterns over Jensen's chest.
"Okay," Jensen says, yawning loudly as fatigue overcomes him. "I have absolutely no clue about your father. I think your mother is quite okay with me, but your father. He was sort of distant all day and over the drink we had, he was pretty much friendly. Man, I have absolutely no idea."
Jared simply keeps stroking Jensen and it's such a pleasant gesture, so wonderfully lulling that Jensen struggles to stay awake.
"Yeah," Jared whispers. "I think you're doing great with Mom. Underneath it all, she already likes you. And Dad, he's just- he's always been that way with our partners. It takes a long time for him to warm up to someone."
Jared's hand travels up Jensen's body, over his neck to his cheek. Gently, he cups it.
"You know, it took him a while to accept Judy. And it also took him a while to accept Lisa and Megan's last boyfriend. All things considered, I think you're doing well with him, too."
Then Jared bends in and kisses Jensen. Because of the darkness in the room, Jared misses his mouth, his lips connecting to Jensen's closed eyelid. When Jensen snickers because it tickles, Jared snorts and apologizes. And then he kisses Jensen's eyelid again on purpose.
"Thank you so much for coming with me," Jared says, suddenly serious again. "Thank you for doing this for me. I was such a fool to believe I could come to my mother's birthday without my family."
Jensen doesn't even know what to say to that. Jared sounds small, a little defeated and Jensen knows that today has been incredibly hard for Jared. He's simply glad that he could give Jared a bit of comfort, that his presence turned out to be useful in the end and that it did Jared well.
"Don't mention it," Jensen whispers.
And then Jared buries his face in the crook of Jensen's neck. His breath is hot and wet against Jensen's skin, tickling very lightly. Jensen's arms come around Jared's body, his fingers interlinking behind Jared's back as he holds him.
"You probably should go back to your own bed before you fall asleep here," Jensen whispers with a heavy heart. He'd hate to lose the warmth of Jared's body against his, the feeling of safety it brings when Jared's so close to him. Yet he also knows that he doesn't want to be caught in the same bed as Jared tomorrow morning.
God, he feels like a teenager.
"I just wanna lay with you for a few minutes. You're not gonna chase me away, are you?" Jared pleads, his voice muffled.
Jensen knows this is a bad idea. He knows he should be strong enough to ask Jared to tiptoe back into his room. But he can't. He just can't. So instead, Jensen tightens his arms around Jared and tries to think about nothing for a few minutes.
It's the squeaking sound of the door that wakes Jensen up. The trance of sleep is still somewhat lingering as Jensen slides his arm to the side, expecting to find a warm but empty spot next to him where Jared lay seconds ago. When his hand meets skin, smooth and slightly damp from sleep, Jensen's brain does the math immediately.
Holy shit.
Jensen's eyes spring wide open in shock. Once he managed to grab his glasses from the bedside table and to push them onto his nose, it's only to look into the angry face of Sharon.
She stands in the doorway and her face is twitching with fury. Quickly, Jensen slaps a hand to the side, smacking Jared loud enough for there to be a sound. He does it again. Jared groans and protests next to him, his sounds mostly swallowed by the pillow.
In a way, it's like an atrocious car accident. Jensen knows he should look away but yet he can't tear his gaze from Sharon who keeps glaring at him, at them.
"Jared," Jensen says. "Wake up."
Another slap and Jared turns around and finally blinks at Jensen. When Jensen nods to in the direction of the door, Jared's gazes follows to where Jensen's head is tilted. With a curse, Jared sits up in bed abruptly, staring at Sharon. Before Jensen or Jared can stutter any excuses, Sharon is gone, slamming the door on her way out.
"Fuck," Jensen says as Jared stares at him.
They're both breathing heavily, panting and not believing what just happened. Or at least Jensen doesn't believe it. He knew that this was a bad idea and that he should have shooed Jared out of the room before they fell asleep.
Jensen's going to have a fantastic stand with Jared's family now. He's such an idiot.
Just as Jensen wants to feel sorry for himself, Jared cracks up. He throws his head back and laughs loud and hard, in fact, so loud and hard that Jensen is startled at first. When Jensen looks at Jared in confusion, he sees tears of laughter pool in the corner of his eyes.
"What's so funny, Bigfoot?" Jensen asks curiously. He has no clue what's going on. The last thing on Jensen's mind is laughing his ass off. Seriously.
But Jared doesn't stop laughing for another few good minutes. As soon as he's regained his composure enough to be only snickering, he says, "Did you see her face?"
Oh yeah, Jensen certainly did. And he doesn't know what's so hilarious about Sharon being angry. He doesn't find this whole thing funny and starts to tell Jared so, when Jared whispers, "At least we're not going to have to argue about who sleeps where tonight."
And then Jared kisses him. It's gross because of their morning breath but when Jared's tongue demands entrance, Jensen gives in willingly. They don't kiss for long because Jensen's sure that after what Sharon just saw, she'll expect them downstairs very soon. Maybe if Jared and he stay in bed for too long, Sharon will have even wilder theories of what they're doing - even though they're not doing anything at all.
"What a nice birthday present for your mother," Jensen says, finally getting up.
Out of the corner of his eye, Jensen sees Jared flinch. He doesn't comment on what Jensen just said but instead he quietly watches Jensen grab some clean clothes. Jared looks at him longingly for a few long seconds. Finally, Jensen holds out his hand and when Jared takes it, Jensen gives him a pull to make him get out of bed.
They're in the bathroom together. Jensen showers as Jared brushes his teeth and shaves and then they switch places. Now that he's clean and presentable, Jensen thinks he's ready to face Jared's family and the accusations he assumes are going to come.
"They're gonna be fine," Jared says as he leads Jensen down into the kitchen. But from the tone of Jared's voice, Jensen's no longer sure Jared believes it himself.
The whole family is there. The delicious smell of pancakes and maple syrup makes Jensen's belly rumble, making him realize only now how hungry he is. When they enter the kitchen, they just wait there for a moment. Awkwardly.
Sharon stands by the stove and if she's still angry, she's hiding it extremely well. Sophie and Audrey sit at the table, next to Gerald, all three of them in front of a huge plate full of pancakes, sausages and bacon.
"Sit down, boys," Sharon says over her shoulder. It's neither overly sharp nor overly sweet.
As Jared walks up to her, it's a little edgy. He's tense, Jensen can see that, yet Jared embraces her from behind. Then he kisses her cheek wetly and says, "Happy Birthday, Momma."
Jensen holds his breath as he waits for Sharon's reaction. He sees that Jared doesn't relax either and really, it's no wonder. But when Sharon smiles at Jared and thanks him with a kiss, she seems cheery and happy, no traces of the angry woman from just minuets ago. Jared's shoulders immediately settle and a grin spreads on his face.
Jensen is totally taken aback by how both Jared and Sharon pretend nothing had happened. He feels as if someone slapped him in the face. It makes Jensen uncomfortable how they're both ignoring the fact that Sharon caught Jensen and Jared in bed together this morning even though she had told them explicitly to sleep in separate rooms the evening before.
In Jensen's family this would have been handled differently. Not that there would have been yelling, but there would have been a heated discussion at least. But the situation here just makes Jensen feel as if they were in the calm before a big storm, and somehow this makes him uneasy.
It also reminds Jensen how little he knows about this family, how hard it is for him to read them.
Soon enough Jensen remembers his manners and wishes Sharon a Happy Birthday. He doesn't know whether he should hug her or whether he should shake her hand - just the mere thought seems weird to Jensen - or whether he should only say something. But before Jensen can think about this in detail, Sharon takes the decision away from him by pulling him close for a hug.
"Go sit down now," she says to Jared and a very confused Jensen.
Jensen and Jared kiss their daughters good morning (when Jensen uses the opportunity to ask Audrey as subtly as he can whether she wished Sharon a Happy Birthday too) and then they thank Sharon politely as she sets two plates full of pancakes, eggs, sausages and bacon down in front of them. Jensen's absolutely baffled by the non-communication that's going on and how no one seems to notice or care beside him.
Before Sharon sits down with them, she kisses the top of both Audrey and Sophie's heads. For a heartbeat Jensen catches an angry glimpse in her eyes as she looks at Jensen's throat. And then he remembers:
The hickey. The thing that'll remind her all day that her son and his boyfriend disobeyed her rules.
Jensen wishes he had selected a shirt with a proper collar this morning. He feels weird showing off a love bite when all it's going to do is make Sharon angry. Somehow he feels protective and wishes he could somehow hide the intimate mark.
Gerald tries to make some small talk over breakfast, asking Jensen and Jared how they slept. While Jared concentrates on his father and answers his question, Jensen catches a furious gleam in Sharon's eyes. Just like the first, it's there for just a heartbeat. But nonetheless, even though Jensen nearly misses it, it's still clearly there.
Jensen swallows the lump in his throat, only half-listening to Jared and his father making plans for the day.
Index | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 & Additional Notes and Thanks