feeling urges for friend changes / intimacy practice planning / bad dreams / relationship updates

[belenen]

icon: "exuviate (photo of a dragonfly with shimmery green wings after its last metamorphosis, standing next to its previous exoskeleton)"I haven't felt fully seen by someone other than Topaz in a long time and I yearn for that. I don't know if I'm just bad at sharing or if most people have to feel romantic to actually try to see someone or if

Comments

[lilywolfsolomon]

Also a friend made several sort-of requests for closeness before I actually realized I had energy to do that. I might not immediately expect that a response is desired. I might just take it as an expression of caring. There are lots of reasons for not getting a response but the hardest thing is when I'm like, okay, I'm gonna take a step to get closer to what I'm wanting here and the other person gives neither yes nor no but a riddle. Like I haven't spoken what I'm desiring clearly enough. And then I don't know how to express what I'm asking for because my initial attempt that I thought was so clear elicited other than a yes or no.

[belenen]

My thing is that it really doesn't bother me at all on an individual level, it just gets to me when it is everyone at once for an extended time, because that gets exhausting for me. I feel like this sounds like a contradiction but it really isn't, I just don't know how to explain it better.

I also would love a deeper relationship with you but don't know of a method that would work for both of us! I am really happy and nourished by sharing posts and comments with you here though *love*

[wanderipity]

I am quite glad I came across your post. You pretty much explained what I had been feeling lately, and how I desire friendships.

Last weekend after drinking, apparently there was a video of me rolling on top of a pool table and saying a lot of shit about friendship. Haha.

PS: I haven't commented properly on your comments to me, but it helped make relationships decisions I have now.

[belenen]

I'm happy that my comments helped!

[eristic_writer]

I relate to so much of this, so just a bit of reassurance that it's not you, and you're not alone. It breaks my heart that you feel embarrassed about asking a friend for more connection, though; I think it's a wonderful and brave thing to do, and it's pretty shitty of that person to just ignore your message. Maybe they didn't receive it? Or didn't know how to respond?

[feladrone]

I wish I had some advice for you, but honestly, I have the exact same problem myself. Usually I'm too shy to initiate, which doesn't really help anything.

"Last weekend while drunk I messaged a casual friend about becoming closer friends and they didn't respond and now I feel painfully embarrassed about it (actual tears of embarrassment)"

Reading this broke my heart a little. Don't feel embarrassed :( I don't know what the situation is like exactly, but to me it seems a little bit rude not to even respond.