feeling urges for friend changes / intimacy practice planning / bad dreams / relationship updates

[belenen]

icon: "exuviate (photo of a dragonfly with shimmery green wings after its last metamorphosis, standing next to its previous exoskeleton)"I haven't felt fully seen by someone other than Topaz in a long time and I yearn for that. I don't know if I'm just bad at sharing or if most people have to feel romantic to actually try to see someone or if

Comments

[call_me_katya]

Strange, I've been feeling exactly the same way. In fact, feeling that way may have started when I met your group of friends all together [although as you say, it's not quite as it appears on the surface]. There's something about a large group that speaks of safety to me. I have a few friends but none of them really know each other, or they only do through me, and although one-on-ones can be amazing [when something particularly upsetting has happened, for example] with a group I feel I can rest a little, and don't have to be responsible for 50% of the conversation although conversely, groups make me feel competitive and want to be heard but that's my choice, whereas with one-on-ones it's not really a choice. I think one-on-ones can be incredibly useful in the beginning stages of a friendship but when you've known each other for a couple of years and can't think of anything more to say, it can be a strain. I'm finding this with a specific local friendship right now: they look to me to be the leader and I have nothing to contribute

[belenen]

Yeah, I find it upsetting that you're expected to build with someone you're romantic with, but it's perfectly acceptable to just be mediocre with your friendships?? No! I reject this!

Thanks for your comment <3 I feel you on it, and wish there was a better way.

[koyaaniisqatsi]

I wish I had easy friends that took initiative as well. I'm always the one to plan things. Sometimes I wonder if they'd even notice if I stopped texting them about getting together... :/ UGH.

[lorelei_sakti]

I think I've fallen into the habit of letting others initiate most of the time... it used to be the opposite. I used to have to call up my friends if I wanted to see them, but now I have a different set of friends. I am trying to make more of an effort lately, although it does take time and energy. But it's definitely worth it! Staying in touch with people and continuing to develop relationships is one of the most important goals in life.