accidental breeders

[shannonmariah]

Hi. First-time poster. Here's what I have to say today ... why I should be and am part of the badparents community:

Holy frick; I could have written this paragraph:

Bennet-Speer says she'd never been very interested in children, but had assumed she'd have them because "that's what you do, get married and have kids." When she met her husband and he

Comments

[martina_d]

Hello....is that my own memory reflected back? Because I could have written this myself:
and partly I just really had zero interest in children. I still don't really. I mean, not in a maternal way. I have never been interested in holding people's babies. Until I had Emma and then started teaching, children scared me.

I never had the urge to hold anyone's babies, and when I was pregnant, I'd hold one when it was forced on me, and think, "Holy shit, what have I signed up for?" And yes, I was a teacher also. And a damn good one. But it's different with your own kids.

Well, now we have THREE, and I love it. But part of me, some days, still says, "Holy shit, what have I signed up for?"

Welcome! You're in the right place. =)

[dreamweaver523]

"Holy shit what have I signed up for"

EXACTLY!!! My kids are 23 and 13. I still have those moments ::weak laugh::

They were planned and wanted and all that jazz, but still...there are moments.

[martina_d]

It's so refreshing to be in a community where parents can actually say that without a cyber-bitchslap! It's just not all fun and games, and I don't think people really tell you that before you do it. Or, you don't hear it... =)

[dreamweaver523]

oh I completely TOTALLY agree with you. I am not perfect. My children are not perfect. My grandkid is not perfect. I have days where I want to close my door and read and not worry about soccer practices or volleyball games or kindergarten supplies or dinner. Now that the youngest kid is 13, I do that sometimes. She doesn't appear any the worse for wear.

[karmalingoist3]

my mom was a teacher before she had me, and she always said that she didn't like kids until she had me.

I feel the same way about my son. We were planning on having kids, and I liked kids before, but I didn't work with them, or ever babysit or anything like that. I was the "play for five mins then hand back to mom" kind of girl. But I am SO in love with my son. But I can still only take other people's children's in small doses while there parents are there.

[shannonmariah]

I think the only reason that I survive teaching is because it's an environment that I create with the kids. And we develop such deep bonds. But yeah, when I'm just around other people's children ... I don't have that kind of pull or say ... so I'm not so in love with it. But I do love my friend's kids. I can't help it.

[karmalingoist3]

yeah I'm a teacher in a play program for kids as well. But the parents are there for the entire 45 min class (with the exception of one 1hr long class a week where i have four 3yr olds). I love working with the kids, and developing the bond, but yeah I'm glad to go home to my one child.

And I'm a single mom. My son spends the weekends with his father, and I cannot tell you how much I enjoy that time. By Sunday I'm missing him pretty badly, but by Thursday night I"m looking forward to my alone time as well. That time is so sacred to me as it's my time to not be "so and so's Mom" but instead who I am. Ya know?

[brynnhavok]

I think Single or not, everybody needs that time to just be themselves. I call it my Momma time. It's my time to not be Momma.

My daughter is my world, but with out that break, yeah...

[scenicbeauty]

Have you ever seen a happy family at Wal-Mart that makes you think "Golly gee! Those little whippersnappers are so gosh darnn adorable that I'd sure like to make some of my own!" This will totally make everyone in the community hate me, but yeah, most of the time, that's me in the store with my kids. Not all the time. Sometimes I'm the yelling mom with the out-of-control 3-year-old who won't stay with her. Sometimes I'm the impatient mom saying "NO! You CANNOT have that." 6 million times. But, really, most of the time my kids are relatively well behaved and thanks to some glitch in the universe I seem to have been given an extra measure of patience for my children when in public (not at home though, never at home - I'm so darn impatient with them at home it's crazy

[shannonmariah]

I sure don't hate you. I love your honesty, actually.

And I agree about the accidental vs. unwanted. Emma may have been accidental, but I adore her face off. Even when I'd like to slap it (but I don't -- I promise).

[svisha_kuzya]

sometimes planned is not easy either. mine was planned...a year and a half planned (we had trouble getting pregnant). but some mornings when he's been up twice during the night I just don't know. it was so much easier before kids.

[karmalingoist3]

there's a WONDERFUL episode of "Rosanne" where DJ finds out he was an "accident" at one point Rosanne sits him down and and tells him that he wasn't an accident he was a "happy surprise"

I've always loved that way of putting it.

[moongoddessxtc]

Nice intro! lol ... My Xander was planned - but I have my moments ;) Welcome to the group, I don't post much but I love it here.

[spikey_kris]

I fully agree with everyone who says this group is awesome. Nothing worst than "Super Moms" gettin' all up in your grill...

I'm 25, my son is 7. I love and adore him to bits, he's a bloody brilliant kid, but I NEVER want another child. This parent stuff is damn tough, its an 18 year contract just to get 'em to adulthood and I'm already nearly through 8 of those years, be damned if I'm gonna sign up again!