"sensual" summaries

[memorysdaughter]

As we all know, badfic can be an assault on the senses. So here are some summaries that celebrate that abuse... in the best way possible, of course. Bolded in some places for emphasis.

Nothing better than a "Buffy" quote to get started:

"Some things I can just smell, it's like a sixth sense."

Comments

[dannyvangeline]

Cuddy’s breasts are talking.

Heh, what did one boob say to the other boob?

...That's rhetorical, I don't have a punchline.

[memorysdaughter]

"Did you realize that without nipples, we would be pointless?"

...

I tried.

[boogieshoes]

i laughed. :-D it was a horrible pun, but i enjoy such things.

-bs

[memorysdaughter]

I tried.

[cheryl_bites]

The sickeningly-sweet taste; the pruny, leathery skin...

I was disappointed that this wasn't about sex with 90-year-old women.

[memorysdaughter]

You and me both.

Or that it wasn't about "The Playbook" from "How I Met Your Mother.":

"It's kind of big. Surprisingly heavy. Kind of leathery. And it's black."

[kittenmommy]

Brass has hangups and Grissom is fruity.
I don't know what this means.

Neither do I. And I don't think we want to know, either!

[memorysdaughter]

I was very confused.

[kittenmommy]

So was the author, I think.

[memorysdaughter]

All I could think of was someone calling Brass and hanging up... and Grissom wearing a Carmen Miranda fruit suit....

[pathology_doc]

She smelled like Mangos and Sex

What? Not sex and candy? I'm disappointed.

[memorysdaughter]

Maybe she was trying to be more organic... healthier?

[pathology_doc]

I'm led to believe that the exertions of the former will burn off the calories from the latter (taken in moderate amounts). Conclusion: the more sex you have, the more candy you can eat...

[memorysdaughter]

Or maybe this person is diabetic and can't have candy... or they're on a diet...

[cuddyclothes]

The wine tastes okay.
That's the roofies.

I almost choked with laughter reading your sporks, imagining hearing them out loud, and realizing that if I had seen them without your sporking, I would be dead. Or at least smell like it.

[memorysdaughter]

I'm flattered. :)

I had a great time finding them... what's fun is that I can hear myself say these things out loud in my usual sarcastic tone. I hope that comes through to others.