tears fell onto my pillow last night. i was so excited and i was stood up. i was given his word, and he twisted it. didnt break it no - cant break what you dont give, but you can twist what you dont say. never unfair, but never quite fair either. i give my everything - it is never asked for no, but it is never rejected. i am a concubine, a ( Read more... )

( my casual boyfriend )

i mouth popped an 'i love you' the other night. it was the second oe he had done since the shagging started. he rubbed my head in response. i rubbed his beard. thats it - i have admitted it all now. i am transparent.

it finally hit home what it was to him. it wasn't a cheat althought because of his baggage those emotions did fit in. it was a turning point. steven knew that richard loved me - probably as muc as what he did. and he endured months of seeing rich hug me and kiss me and such knowing full well what was behind him on his side. i may not have meant ( Read more... )

( all about steven. i have had enough )

so last night we went to a movie. he was all grumpy t o begin with then he got some lollies an dwent un low. we giggles all the wya thru the first part of the movie and then the movie started. he got bored bout half way thru and i thought he was whispering something in my ear when in fact he turend towarsd me and started feeling my boobies and ( Read more... )

1.

heidi has just finished massaging steven. a super massage. he has layed down and she is laying beside him
steven : you have sleepily seduced me

heidi : seduced you to sleep? that is nice

steven: no not just that

heidi: what else have i seduced you into then?

steven: you.

2.

heidi is laying cradled in steven's arms, half on his chest, half off. ( Read more... )

i take it from your lack of response to my sms I sent you, you don’t want to hear what I have to say. Sorry to send one saying ‘I have something to tell you’ - I know you hate that type of a thing with a passion, but I couldn’t sleep and I wasn’t gonna blurt it all out in a few sms’s - I just wanted you to know I wanted to talk to you, or rather ( Read more... )

well i think he blocked me. wont be the first time. damn. shouldn't have sent that email. have you learned nothing girl!!! give the boy space. he comes to you. a few days of silince, share nothing you think he might like. NOTHING!!!

so i told myself i wouldn't get sucked in. that i wouldn't let myself want him again. love him again. and you know wat? i did. and i let him have the power again. i gotta let him come to me again. i cant let it happen again. i gotat keep the line tight. he's online. so much to say to him. but i cant be the first. i cant be eager. i gotta wait. i ( Read more... )