"I can't do the little things I hold so dear. 'Cause it's all those little things that I fear."

[justbeingaqueen]

Who: justbeingaqueen and couturejourno
What: Fashionistas Anonymous
Where: Kurt's apartment
When & Time: Morning after THIS
Rating: Open for now, likely swearing

Comments

[rockstarwarbler]

Blaine felt his way down the glass staircase that led into the foyer of Kurt's expansive apartment, his cow-slippered feet (not the best match with his Superman pyjamas) not making any noise on the marble tiles as he shuffled along. He was cold and still half-asleep, the curls on his head all unruly and bed-mussed. He yawned, having to pause to cover his mouth when it was one of those that made your face feel like it was turning inside out. His bladder had been what woke him up, but he was thirsty and he didn't want water. A quick trip to the kitchen for some juice before he climbed back into the cosy cocoon of Kurt's luxurious bed was on the menu

[couturejourno]

"Oh, God... Sounds like you've got yourself a hell of a brother, babe," she said, thinking about that for a moment. She still had another brother back home in Ridgefield whom she'd barely spoken to since that night all those years ago when Neil had more or less forced her to leave town. She was pretty sure after the line of bull he'd fed them, her family wouldn't have gone so far to help her as Kurt's brother apparently had. "Your family... I've never heard you talk about them."

"Who you haven't had anything to do with by choice, I take it?" Leslie guessed, before taking another sip of her tea.

[justbeingaqueen]

Kurt nodded without any hesitation. "Finn is worth his weight, and trust me, he's huge. Without him, I would be dead... possibly twice. He was there for me after all this mess, and then again when I fell off the wagon. I don't think he really knows what he's doing, but that hasn't stopped him. He's... he was injured at war. I didn't even know. That was yet another thing I had to faced at the reunion on top of the death of my teacher and mentor and Blaine shoving a Cartier rock up in my face the minute I saw him."

"More like forceful determination. I hadn't even spoken to my brother for ten years prior to the reunion. The only people really poignant in my life were my parents and Amelia. I didn't keep in touch with anyone from school, but now all of a sudden they're here and surrounding me and it's been quite the culture shock. The thing is, they're all stubborn bitches and haven't really listened when I've been telling them to piss off," he admitted wryly. "I've had no choice but to get used to having them around again."

[couturejourno]

"He sounds like a hell of a guy," Leslie replied, raising her cup in a mock toast. "Oh, wow... I think that would've been enough to drive anybody to get fucked up. What the hell kind of reunion was that anyway, babe? One that was designed to make everybody depressed?"

A soft smile crossed her lips. "The best friends never do... When you tell your friends to piss off, it's usually the surest sign that you really need them to stay." Setting her mug down, she leaned forward in her seat. "I'm glad they're here, sweets. I really am." She smiled wickedly again. "Even if I am insanely jealous that you landed yourself the only man who could turn me straight."

[justbeingaqueen]

Kurt gave a small smirk, though it was out of fondness more than anything. "Finn was always so thick in school. Slow on the uptake, not the brightest bulb in the pack, but he... surprisingly followed in his father's footsteps. I guess he thought where his father failed, he could get it right. He did well for himself there, made Sergeant. My folks kept me up to date, but I still never spoke directly to Finn again until the reunion. And yes, I'm pretty sure that's exactly what it was designed for, under the guise of trying to bring us all back together. I am sorry he passed away, but Mr Schuester was never one of my favourite people in the world."

His eyebrows rose just a little and he cleared his throat. "Back in school a lot of my friends couldn't see when I needed help, so it's not an automatic assumption for me to need them anymore. What is with that? You are serious one huge fangirl of his, aren't you? Why him?"

[couturejourno]

"Sounds like, thick or no, he really loves you," Leslie replied, her smile warm as she looked over at Kurt. "That Mr. Schuester sounds like a character and a half... So, he literally called you all there to find out he was dead? What the hell?"

"I know the feeling," she admitted, running a hand through her loose waves. "It's... To be honest with you, babe, I don't know what it was that first attracted me, but he's just a sweetie. He's always gracious with his fans, he gives to great charities, and for fuck's sake, he's just gorgeous."

[justbeingaqueen]

"Finn and me went through a lot to build a relationship between us. It wasn't ever easy, we didn't get each other and it got to a point where I stopped trying with him. Then our folks got married, and we had no choice really. We're chalk and cheese... beyond that. But I love him. I never didn't love him, I just didn't want him anywhere near me. We all said extremely horrible things to each other the night of that fight, Finn and me included. Mr Schuester, I don't know... had his own agendas. I guess he thought he could right some wrongs with the world getting us all friends again when he knew he was dying, but he was never there when I needed him. All the reunion did was push me over the edge," Kurt said with a small sigh

[couturejourno]

"Is it one of those things where half of the fight wasn't even really because of what you were fighting over, if that makes sense? Like you were fighting about one thing, but really angry or hurt about something else?" Leslie asked. "Pretty presumptuous bastard if you don't mind my saying so, thinking that his death would be this huge thing that would bring the whole world together again."

"Well, I'd rather he was actually aware when I meet him, so I'll wait," she replied playfully. "Well, I say that, but then again, for his sake, it might be better if he didn't see me making a total ass of myself."

[justbeingaqueen]

Kurt sighed and folded his hands over in front of him so he could look down at them. "Possibly. But I was in a really, really bad place that night. Someone had just sent me photos of Blaine kissing one of my friends, and it felt like my whole world was falling apart. That's basically what started the whole thing. I exploded, I punched Blaine in the face. I screamed at a hell of a lot of people that night, and yes, a lot of it was probably old wounds being sliced open because I was so hurt. I went through a lot in high school, and even though I buried a lot of it away, I perhaps never even really healed from it. A lot of it's hazy now. I crashed my car that night, banged my head. Wrote myself off with drink a few nights the following week until my parents intervened. The drug habit started shortly after that, around the time I heard Blaine had left for England. Mr Schue's problem was clearly that he didn't stop to think that some of us had been through too much in the past to want it brought back like that without warning. But he was

[couturejourno]

Kurt's words broke Leslie's heart. It was such a change from the Kurt she'd known for ages... The Kurt that was the mask he was hiding behind. "Fuck, Kurt... Honey, you're a master of hiding things, then. I had no idea. I mean, I knew you used some recreational stuff when you partied, but I didn't know how involved it was, or why... No wonder things have been so rough for you since then. And then the reunion just dropped everything right back in your lap when you'd never had time to deal with it in the first place."

"I'll restrain myself and wait, then," Leslie replied, only half joking. "Dear God, I can't believe it... Blaine fucking Anderson right here in the flesh."

[justbeingaqueen]

"I didn't want to deal with it, but Blaine made it impossible for me to avoid me. We got stuck in the school, see. Someone locked us down so we would deal with everything, and it went to complete and utter shit. I coped about as well as any drug addict would, and then the next thing I knew, Blaine's having a fit next to me it was the most scariest fucking thing I had ever experience. It was just... all rapidly downhill from there," Kurt admitted and brushed the edge of his thumb over his forehead before adjust the silk gloves covering his wrists.

He gave a small tilt of his head, resting his tongue between his lips. "It's probably fortunate it wasn't in the actual flesh. You never know with Blaine. He could have just as freely come down here half naked than he could in... Superman pyjamas. I will forever deny anyone connected to me ever wears said attire. At least it's a step up from Buzz."

[couturejourno]

"What the hell?!" Leslie asked, her eyes locked on Kurt's in absolute shock. "So they basically kidnapped you and forced you to stay in your school? That can't be legal. What a crock of shit. Oh, honey, I can't imagine... You hadn't kept up with his career enough to know why he supported those charities, I take it?" she asked.

"God, I would've been entirely unladylike right here in your kitchen, babe... Drool and all. Your poor husband... Oh, God... Buzz? Please tell me you don't mean he used to dress in Buzz Lightyear clothes regularly."

[justbeingaqueen]

Kurt bit down on his lip a little harder this time, only just short of drawing blood. "No, I didn't keep up with his career at all. I knew he was famous and I knew he was a rockstar in England. That was it. I wasn't able to deal with anything to do with Blaine, so I didn't. I completely ignored his existence save for a couple of times where it made me fly off the deep end all over again. But that's beside the point. No, I didn't know about his charities, let alone why. I didn't know he was epileptic, and it's been extremely hard for me to cop with and understand

[couturejourno]

"Oh, wow... Kurt, I can't imagine what a shock that must've been. I mean, hell, seeing someone have a fit for the first time would be bad enough if you knew it was coming, but if you had no idea, and didn't expect it..." She shook her head, picking at the finger food on the dessert plate in front of her.

"Oh, shit!" Leslie said, slapping her hand over her mouth. That was not the word she'd meant to say, and she turned a bright pink shade as it hit her what she'd said. "I meant to say boyfriend, and husband came out... Please, ignore me..." Still, she couldn't help the small smile on her face at Kurt's memories of Blaine's Buzz Lightyear pajamas. "Sounds like you've remembered everything, sweets," Leslie finally said softly.

[justbeingaqueen]

Kurt hummed softly in agreement, though his face was mostly unreadable by this point. "Plus I was coming down from a major high that my system basically didn't cope with. I was withdrawing, hadn't had any sleep, and hadn't eaten. I never in my life could have had any way to prepare myself for seeing that happen to him. I thought he was dying. I didn't know what I was supposed to do. Then he had another one the following morning and it was basically what completely flipped me out. I was atrocious. I left him there on the floor of the school corridor and just ran. After that, everything is extremely hazy. I hardly remember anything."

He pressed his lips together in a faint smile. "I haven't forgotten anything about Blaine. I've just locked it all away because it hurt beyond my capacity to remember. When we broke up, it was like I lost half of me. Some days now, it's hard for me to believe he's there. It's like I've imagined him or hallucinated him."

[couturejourno]

"Kurt..." was the soft reply from Leslie as she shook her head in disbelief. "You poor thing... That's... That's far too much for a reunion. It's no wonder things went so off in your head." Her hands rested flat on either side of her mug as she just looked at Kurt, eyes full of concern and heartache simply at knowing what her friend had gone through. She looked down into her tea quietly, unable to begin to wrap her mind around it all.

The love that Kurt still held onto for Blaine was obvious. It tugged at Leslie's heart, even, and she hadn't ever been much for love and committed relationships. She got all the love she needed from her friends, and the rest of her needs were purely of a non-committed physical nature. But she couldn't deny that there was something that touched her about how much Kurt clearly loved Blaine, and how long he'd had the memories, even if he'd ignored them. "That's... That's incredible," she admitted finally.