I live in Maine now. My room is very orange. Expect a long, detailed account of my ride up here, including a story about how I got pulled over because someone told the cops that I was driving down I-91 at 30 mph whilst reading a book. Just for the record, at no point on my journey did I read, write, do arithmatic or even chew gum while driving my ( Read more... )

Am's getting married today leaving me as the last one of our friends standing single, or relatively so. There is that nasty Joshua habit I've been learning to cope with. I hate weddings. Am better appreciate the sacrifice I'm making for her.

A lot of minor things have been shat upon me in the past few weeks. Someone hit and totaled my bike. My Maine ( Read more... )

Emily: Are you young ladies up for a movie?
St F: What? Am I walking permanently?

August 12 is Middle Child Day. I expect many, many presents and more importantly, some goddamn positive attention.

I've stopped treating the wart colony. You know that. For a while I was trying to treat The Mother Wart only but I had a hard time identifying which one she was so actually I was treating 5 or so warts that were close to the spot where I thought The Mother Wart might be ( Read more... )

Man, possibly homeless in 7-11 to woman who is buying him food: I mean, I'll work hard and all, but I'm not putting something called bean pie in my body. It just sounds so...gaseous.

New rule: don't expect to sleep on Sunday nights. Expect to be roaming around the apartment until at least 3am, no matter how much contra dancing and cheesecake you partake in. Monday morning, get your ass to 7-11 and buy coffee. It's not an option' it's critical for survival.

In other news: Saturday I participated in World Bike Naked Day. The ( Read more... )

Nurse T: Big Ma, when I sing my solo in church, I want you sitting in the front row.
St. H (also known as Big Ma): Yeah, so I can laugh at you.
Nurse T: You will not. I'll throw the mic at you.
St. H: ELDER ABUSE!

It's amazing how great and clean and thin I felt at the beginning of the week compared to how crappy I feel today ( Read more... )

My Tuesday began for more pleasantly than my Monday. Yesterday I returned to work after a week of rest and recuperation only to be bitched out by one of the old ladies because she had a doctor's appointment that "I must have forgotten about in my selfish oversight" that she couldn't make, even though she has her own car or could have asked my boss ( Read more... )