Ponder

[atfm]

A few weeks into the new year, perhaps still looking back on the old one, perhaps looking forward to what's to come, I'd like to try something. I want to ask a question and hope that a lot of people will answer it for me. Just because I'm curious and because I believe it's something we all wonder at some point

Comments

[atfm]

I think that's what it's like for a lot of people. They're not unhappy, perhaps they are even superficially happy, but deep down, they're not. At this age in particular it's hard to be truly happy because you have the constant pressure of making the right choices and deciding who or what you want to be, and that obviously affects you. And uncertainty has got to be one of the hugest obstacle between you and happiness.

[so_wicked]

I've been generally unsatisfied for almost two years now. I suspect it's my fault as well because I tend to be sluggish and wait for things to happen instead of making them happen myself. I think that what would make me happy would be having a job I really enjoy doing and living on my own terms. Having somebody to love would be a nice bonus. But if you want to hear about things that can make me happy, right this moment, I'd say: little things. A postcard from abroad. A mixed CD of some old, forgotten, but loved songs, a nice gesture. A smile. It doesn't take a lot to make me feel happy. It takes quite a bit to make me feel content, and I'm not, right now. Hopefully, things will change and soon.

[atfm]

I know the feeling of thinking you need to do something, but you can't get yourself to do anything, and you end up hating yourself for it. I think the job questions plays an important role for happiness because while it shouldn't be the sole focus of our lives, it just is a great part of it.
Deriving happiness from little things is precious and perhaps necessary as long as there's no true happiness in the bigger picture, but afterwards, too. If you want, I'd love to send you a card.

[so_wicked]

A card, from Berlin!? *squee* I'd love it. Do you have AIM? I'm OneKristina on it. If not, drop me a line over at sowicked @ email.t-com.hr and I'll love you forever. :)

[atfm]

I don't have AIM, but I'll send you an email in a moment so you can provide me with your address. :)

[mrswoman]

Truthful answer, yes, I'm happy, BUT... and there's always a but , isn't there? I always think there's something more out there...

... but (told you there were lots of buts in a happy life *g*), there isn't, you know

Life is what we make it, and life is what we want it to be somewhere along the way.

Anyway, yes, I'm happy.

I love my daughter and everything that entails - the good and the bad. I love Paul and everything that entails - the good and the bad. I love my job and everything that entails - the good and the bad. I love my friends, I love my online friends, I love reading, I love writing, I love physiotherapy... you get the idea.

The other side, that other thing, it wouldn't be better, it wouldn't be greener, or would it?

I guess that question and that thought are part of this happy life and without that question, maybe I'd be unhappy.

And if any of that makes sense to you... well done :)

[atfm]

Yes, there's always a but, and I think no matter how happy we are with our choices, we always tend to wonder what else is out there or how our lives would be had we taken a different path. I think a very important point you made there is that it's up to us to make our lives happy, and at the same time, that's one of the biggest problem people have.

I find the thought that, perhaps, wondering if there's something better out there is part of a happy life very interesting. It's human nature to always strive for more, to always want more, and if, at some point, we were so truly content that we stopped doing that, we'd stall and happiness would become meaningless.

[mrswoman]

You know something? It's nice when people understand exactly what you mean :)

Now, I have a question for you - why did you ask the question? Honest answer, please.

[atfm]

Isn't it? :)

I think it's a combination of two things. Part of it is that I've been trying to evaluate these questions for myself. But mostly, it has something to do with the nature of LJ. For a lot of people, it's escapism, fun, a way to avoid or deal with real-life issues. There's bitching and moaning about life, too, but you never know whether you get the whole story. My point is that it's very easy to give people only selective glimpses of your life, and I'd like to get an impression of the real people behind the nicknames with a question like this. I think happiness is something we all strive for, and I was just interested where people see themselves on their path of getting there. I just like to know what others think.

[unicorn23]

Am I happy? I don't think so. There are a lot of things missing in my life. Yes, I have a job but I don't find it particularly fun. I can always move on and find something else but either I'm too scared to venture out there or I'm just too damn lazy about it

[randriantastic]

*huuuugs* I feel really similar, Charness! I'm starting to feel kinda over my job and wondering if I can really do it for two years while I do my course, gah. But it IS decent money and they're being good to me about flexible hours and stuff, so that's good, I guess

[atfm]

At least you'll know that you can hopefully quit the job after two years, but it can be a long time if you don't like it. When does your course start?

Living together with someone after you've lived on your own for quite a while can be difficult because you establish your own routines and patterns and don't have to worry about anything else. So, it's understandable that you think about moving out.

I think France has made you a lot more social, and if you're really open for new friends, you'll eventually find them. I imagine that it could happen quite easily because you're a wonderful person.

A relationship is a constant at least for a while, it's just something to hold on to when everything else gets a little chaotic, and wouldn't it be nice to have someone to come home to? Having someone you love and who loves you can counterbalance a lot of bad things and put them in perspective.

Yes, I asked, and this is the kind of answer I wanted, just completely honest.

[randriantastic]

It starts Feb 11, which is not far away. I have an info session tomorrow, which I'm kinda exciting about!

Have you considered a career in therapy? ;)

[lfae]

I am the happiest person on earth. Sitting here with Lana, just chilling...what more could I want?

[atfm]

You know, Schorsch, I knew that if there was just one person replying to this post saying they're completely happy, it'd be you. I'm glad the two of you are having such a lovely time together. :)

[lfae]

Awwwwwwwwww. :D What can I say? We're both optimists so time apart isn't time not together...but a break in between times where we can look forward to the next :D