Photo Expo Event and a Mental/Emotional Low

[tigerpetals]

Hi. Have been lurking for a long while.

There is an event tonight at a cupcake shop, in which student photos will be exhibited. I was invited by a former classmate to come and read poetry, along with others; we're supposed to look at the photos and write poems inspired by them.

Comments

[adawnrae]

Advice: Don't go.

Explanation: You do not seem to want to go, as everything you have said about this event has been negative, and you are already very anxious from just thinking about it. You say that you think there might be some benefit to going, but that you cannot pinpoint what that benefit might be, or how it would be beneficial to you. You also say that you feel somewhat obligated to go, because your classmate invited you. But an invitation does not impose any obligation upon you to accept, even if you have made subsequent inquiries into the event. The evening will consist of many things you do not like: live music in a small venue, semi-formal attire, socializing with strangers, a certain level of expectation that you will write off-the-cuff, being transported by your uncle, and quite probably art that you do not enjoy and to which you cannot relate. On the other hand, you didn't mention a single aspect of it that does appeal to you, which is telling. Finally, even the prospect of going is bringing up peripheral

[tigerpetals]

Thank you. I pretty much decided not to go two hours ago, because I couldn't choose early enough and didn't make myself take my bath early. Going sweaty or without washing my hair would have contributed to the negatives. There were some positives, like the cupcakes and the idea that going to poetry readings is necessary for people who want to get their poetry out there, partly because of the networking thing. I don't know if that's true, but I do have that impression. And leaving the house and even the neighborhood in a way that mostly doesn't involve sticking with family. There are now two buses just sitting there in the drive that I could use if I had been taught. Then I'd be able to do things on my own terms more and a little freer

[adawnrae]

Ah, I overlooked the cupcakes, probably because I don't like them. I did not realize you were aspiring to publication of your poetry, that completely explains your ambivalence about going. :P

The mere idea of networking makes me want to crawl under a rock.

[arathian]

As long as you dig a nice winding tunnel complex, to live in under the rock. Complete with devious traps laid at regular intervals to dissuade unruly intruders from violating the sanctity of your majestic subterranean kingdom.

That makes me think of dwarf fortress which I refuse to play because I hate ascii graphics.... is there something like that without the ascii?

[pklemica]

If your family will not teach you to drive, do you know other licensed adults (I can't remember what the age-cutoff is for who can supervise your driving with a learner's permit) who might be willing to?

[tigerpetals]

I don't. Granted, my younger sister has a friend who can drive, and she's the loudest one about this issue, so maybe she could arrange for something for herself at least with a licensed adult her friend knows. I think she already could have if she would have; she could already be doing this without telling me, but I doubt it unless she has much more free time when she's outside the house than I think she does. Plus, while my sister isn't necessarily obedient (nor am I), I just have the impression of her that she would have trouble doing this, as it would involve deceiving our parents about something rather big if they didn't want her to do it. I could ask if it's possible. It would still require permission from parents. Either they or one of my grandmothers is always keeping an eye on us and where we go and what we do, and reporting it to each other. Maybe my sister could get away with it, possibly, since she sometimes goes out with her friend, even if my parents always want to know whose driving and everything. I doubt we can do

[pklemica]

I've been struggling with how to express this, so I'm just going to come out and say it -
I'm pretty alarmed by the level of control your family is exerting over you. Whether or not they consider you an adult, you are one. Even if you are living at home; even if you need their help for certain things... they are infantilizing you, and
a) you're clearly not thrilled with it,
b) it's unreasonable and inappropriate for them to be doing so, and
c) it might actually be keeping you from being able to achieve some of the things they expect of you.

I don't know a lot of the details of your world, so I might be way off base, and even if I'm not I'm not in a place to make suggestions as to what to do about this. But as someone whose family is weirdly controlling and won't consider her an adult even though she lives on her own (well, with roommates) and supports herself, I wanted to at least say something, and maybe to let you know you're not alone.