(Untitled)

[arku]

So who wants to write my Modern Hinduism final for me? Because it just isn't working.

It is so complicated. Why do these historical figures have to be real people, it is so much easier when they are two-dimensional....

*sigh*

Comments

[dracis]

What a fantastic soundtrack :)

A Well Thought-Out Hindluism Paper, Part I

[shadydave]

A COMPLETELY ACCURATE BRIEF HISTORY OF INDIAOnce upon a time, Aryans ruled the world. These were not crazy German Aryans, but the original Aryans. Although they did probably take over the Dravidians, so they might have acted like Nazis anyways, I don't know. Anyways, the Aryans spoke Sanskrit, which is a lot like Proto-Indo-European, and since the initials spell PIE this was clearly the best language in the world. For example, if you wanted to count, you could say "ainaz, twa, thrijiz!" How cool is that

A Well Thought-Out Hindluism Paper, Part 2

[shadydave]

THE RISE OF HINDLUISMHowever, Buddhism eventually fell out of favor and was replaced by Hindluism. Hindluism has a greater ratio of arms per deity (as opposed to Buddhism, which is only 2:1. Pitiful!), which undoubtedly greatly appealed to the juggling population of India. Also, Shiva made a point of trampling dwarfs, creating an exciting sport whose widespread popularity unfortunately led to the extinction of dwarves, depopulating even Khâzad Dûm. The world, meanwhile, was formed from a lotus leaf made of Vishnu's belly-button lint, which explains its narcotic properties. The priests of Kali went around investigating the prevalence of heart disease through a mystical hands-on approach, where they would chant "Kali-Ma!" and painlessly remove a patient's heart for inspection. However, when observed by arrogant Westerners who, being fond of bacon and sausage, considered clogged arteries to be sacred, this ritual was grossly misinterpreted. In combination with the insidious practice of cow-tipping, such attitudes becamse intolerable to