Ask one of my characters a question!
I'm changing the meme slightly.
You may ask one of my characters (canon or original) a question. You can ask as many questions as you like, of as many characters as you like. My characters have no secrets... *glares at
Nihil's GrandfatherThe character (not me) will answer your question honestly, but perhaps
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Taste? *giggle* I don't know, I haven't ever eaten one...
No, I'm sorry. I guess you want a serious answer, and I guess you want me to share my, um, intimate experiences with a certain elf.
Where to begin?
You know, all of their skin is kind of, I don't know, different than ours. It's soft, not soft like baby skin soft, because it's hard at the same time. Ok, no, that doesn't make any sense.
Ok, am I at 100 words yet? No. Alright. I mean, do you want to hear what it's like to have your mouth on one? Because the lobe is no different from ours. Or do you want to hear about my experiences while my mouth was on one?
Wow. I've been hanging around Elves for too long because I managed to answer with 100 words and still say absolutely nothing!
Legolas
*furrows brows*
(uncertainly) I think he is my father.
Feanor *folds arms* *glares* I don't have to answer that ( ... )
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Legolas says that he does not think you look stupid, nor does he hope you look stupid.
Carrie and Nerdanel are not here. They have gone to bury the Nuzgul that Feanor ran through with his sword (Carrie's idea). Carrie was crying because she doesn't get another story and Nerdanel was sympathetic because, well, she's married to Feanor and she understands...
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And don't even get me started on Sauron.
*eyes Feanor nervously*
I've never been here when he's been around. I suppose it's ok. Even if he doesn't say so, he'll agree with my vengeful plans against those meddlesome twits.
So...which five to pick…
One Hundred Vengeful Words
by Morgoth Bauglir
Manwe. You turned of my cable, you bastard. As if life in the Void were not dull enough, you had to take away my one shred of entertainment. Of course, I shall start with you, brother. There is a condition known as PMS in the Other Place. Your precious Varda? Stricken permanently with it. How does this effect you? Oh, my dear brother, you shall have to run to Tirion SuperMart at all hours of the night picking up pints of ice cream, not to mention dealing with her hormonal induced fits of anger. You will have to tell her daily, with a straight face, that no she doesn’t look fat. This is how it works. Feel my wrath!
Varda: Aside from bloating something fierce, eating like there is no tomorrow and crying at the most inopportune times ( ... )
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I am NOT funny. I am a powerful Dark Lord and you must ALL FEEL MY WRATH!!!!!
No, Arandil...do not use that icon. No. I said NO. You WILL LISTEN TO ME OR I WILL...
AAAAUUUUUGH
*runs from Feanor again*
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What's your deal, dude?
Arandil's nice to you, she talks well about you some of the time, unlike a lot of other people I've met, she lets you sleep on her couch and eat her food -- why you gotta give her such a bad time? Can't you be nice for a month or two?
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That is why it took so long to get this out of him:
Feanor:
I do not treat Arandil badly.
*encouraging shove from Nerdanel*
*Feanor sighs*
And in the future I will be more mindful of my words and actions so as not to upset her.
*narrows eyes at Nerdanel*
Happy?
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***********************
Dear Mr. Feanor,
Please accept my apologies if I have offended. Understand that Arandil, also known as Arandil13, had no hand in the asking of that question, so if you would like to rail at someone for being impolite, please rail at me.
That's Edoraslass, also known as Edoraslass, 14 Pony Way, Edoras, Rohan, 3rd Age.
My greetings to your lovely wife, Nerdanel.
Edoraslass
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I tread pretty lightly with him. He really isn't a bad guy...just a little, um, hot tempered.
Feanor says, "I don't rail on anyone, most certainly not women." And he says he does not accept your apology because you have no need to apologize. (Yeah, I wasn't sure where he was going with that one at first...but see...he's not so bad...)
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Elrond: DO you know why Arandil has been gazing at you like a lost puppy that has just found a steak the size of Mt. Everest? If you don't, what do think about her behavior? Does it annoy/flatter/disturb you?
Elladan: What would you feel (emotion wise) if Arandil kissed your brother? What about your father?
Elrohir: Do you own a pair of tube socks that have little m's sewn onto the toes?
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Elrond: I have noticed Arandil is less than eloquent in my presence and judging from what my sons have told me, she has not displayed a similar lack of words around either of them. I think her behaviour is understandable; it must be quite a shock for her, after all that Gandalf has told me. She does not annoy, flatter or disturb me. I wish only for her comfort as we try to figure out the purpose of her appearance.
Elladan: Why do you not ask that question of her husband? He has far more reason to feel anything about her than I do.
Elrohir: No.
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Elladan: Stop pussy-footing around. I asked you a question because I wanted to know your opinion. Obviously you think so lowly of yourself that you cannot admit to having feelings. You fear being emotional because it makes you a pansy when, in truth, it is all of your other characteristics that make you pansiful. Now, your question is... Have you ever thought about flying squirrels? I mean really THOUGHT about them. Like how they feel, what they like to eat...
Arandil: If you could have your own harem of Elven males, who would you choose?
Feanor: Why did you leave "Nerdanel" for 3 days? Why didn't you just carry her off then and there?
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Fëanor: What? Am I some kind of barbarian? Should I have clubbed her over the head and dragged her home by her hair? I needed time to prepare.
And as for my harem of male elves, that is easy: Legolas, Thranduil, Fëanor and his sons, Elladan and Elrohir. If I were allowed more, possibly Glorfindel and Elrond.
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