The juno_magic made me do it...
Ask one of my characters a question!
I'm changing the meme slightly.
You may ask one of my characters (canon or original) a question. You can ask as many questions as you like, of as many characters as you like. My characters have no secrets... *glares at Nihil's GrandfatherThe character (not me) will answer your question honestly, but perhaps ( Read more... )
I'm changing the meme slightly.
You may ask one of my characters (canon or original) a question. You can ask as many questions as you like, of as many characters as you like. My characters have no secrets... *glares at Nihil's GrandfatherThe character (not me) will answer your question honestly, but perhaps ( Read more... )
And don't even get me started on Sauron.
*eyes Feanor nervously*
I've never been here when he's been around. I suppose it's ok. Even if he doesn't say so, he'll agree with my vengeful plans against those meddlesome twits.
So...which five to pick…
One Hundred Vengeful Words
by Morgoth Bauglir
Manwe. You turned of my cable, you bastard. As if life in the Void were not dull enough, you had to take away my one shred of entertainment. Of course, I shall start with you, brother. There is a condition known as PMS in the Other Place. Your precious Varda? Stricken permanently with it. How does this effect you? Oh, my dear brother, you shall have to run to Tirion SuperMart at all hours of the night picking up pints of ice cream, not to mention dealing with her hormonal induced fits of anger. You will have to tell her daily, with a straight face, that no she doesn’t look fat. This is how it works. Feel my wrath!
Varda: Aside from bloating something fierce, eating like there is no tomorrow and crying at the most inopportune times, (hey - you’ll understand what it’s like to be that sissy Sauron), you will truly believe that your husband, Manwe, thinks you’re fat. I love it when I’m so efficient - two Valar with one blow. Of course, this will not come near the blow I dealt you back when I destroyed your stupid saplings. Ahh…good times, good times… I was able to remember that day fondly every time I beheld my Silmarils in my beautiful crown. *looks at Fëanor who is bristling* Um…moving right along.
Namo: I will murder Nerdanel. *looks at Fëanor nervously, who has surprisingly settled down* This does not frighten you, Namo? It should. Why should it frighten you? Is Fëanor not still prisoner guest in your halls? I am sure their reunion will be very, shall we say, loud and annoying. There were two things they were good at together in life; having spectacularly loud and raucous rows with each other, and also…well, they had seven children, none of whom were begotten in the peaceful bliss of silence. I bestow the never ending din of their presence upon you and the rest of the residence of your halls, who are sure to become a thorn in your side with their complaints about the noise.
Aule: How can I take 100 words to say this? I’m killing all the dwarves. I’m killing all the dwarves. I’m killing all the dwarves. I’m killing all the dwarves. I’m killing all the dwarves. I’m killing all the dwarves. I’m killing all the dwarves. I’m killing all the dwarves. I’m killing all the dwarves. I’m killing all the dwarves. I’m killing all the dwarves. I’m killing all the dwarves. I’m killing all the dwarves. I’m killing all the dwarves. I’m killing all the dwarves. I’m killing all the dwarves. I’m killing all the dwarves. I’m killing all the dwarves. I’m killing all the dwarves. I’m killing all the dwarves.
And I know you said Valar, Miss juno_magic, but since he is the greatest, strongest, most beautiful and powerful …ahem… sorry… of al the elves, I hope this will suffice…
Fëanor: With you, I shall have the most fun. I will take your eldest, capture and torture him so he cries out in a way that would not even befit a pansy like Sauron, and then hang him from his arm on my highest cliff. Naked. Exposure is a bitch, I hear. Even for the mighty Noldor. Oh, that’s right; I already did that. My bad, I forgot. But how could I forget, it was so much fun? Ahem. Anyway… After I’m through with your eldest son do you know what I’ll do? Do you? *whispers* I’ll kill your father… Oh, that’s right; I already… AAAAAAAUGH *runs away*
Well, can you blame him? Fëanor just drew his sword!
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I am NOT funny. I am a powerful Dark Lord and you must ALL FEEL MY WRATH!!!!!
No, Arandil...do not use that icon. No. I said NO. You WILL LISTEN TO ME OR I WILL...
AAAAUUUUUGH
*runs from Feanor again*
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WHY IS FEANOR'S FACE ON MY REPLY!!!!!!!!!
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And you will pay for your insolence!
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*wipes tears of laughter from eyes*
That ^ is too much.
~Lady Aranel~
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