I can tell, too, that he probably wrote that from a loving, caring place, but that doesn't mean that he wasn't dismissive of your feelings in the process and ultimate said, "Your input is moot, we're going ahead with this."
Also, I don't take kindly to people making assumptions like it will "be easier and more pleasant for you." How could anyone know what will be easier and more pleasant for you if they are NOT you? Simply: they can't. I know that's what he wants for you, and that's great, but as you've pointed out, that likely won't be the reality.
I'm sorry, babe. I know your family really does care about you but it's not fair to you that they can't see you in your entirety, and can't respect your feelings as something genuine, something to be acknowledged, not something to be explained away or categorized. Not to say I think ill of your family, but even loving families have their issues, and it would be great if they could really listen to you and how you feel.
That's actually a great way to describe it, that my family categorizes me and explains things away. I told Josh I need to talk to him, and I'll likely do that in the next couple of days. I have a ton to say to him because this kind of thing has to end now. I'm tired of being treated this way, whether it's intentionally or not. It's one thing to be accepted as the member of my family, it's another to be accepted as a person. I'm tired of being marginalized.
I think it's so fantastic that you're really standing up for yourself and your needs now; things can only get better for doing that! It's not always easy, especially with people you really care about, but I hope that you will be pleasantly surprised by their receptiveness. I know they are coming from a place of love so (hopefully) they should take what you're saying on board and try to be more understanding and accommodating in the future. Fingers crossed!
I hope so! Josh, I think, was the best person to start with. He said he won't say anything to get them to be more receptive to me, unless they shut me down (as per usual); if they do, he'll step in.
But I think you're right...no matter what happens, I've started standing up for myself with a lot of confidence in the spirit of moving forward. That's a big step in the right direction, one that I've never taken. My fingers are crossed, too!
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Also, I don't take kindly to people making assumptions like it will "be easier and more pleasant for you." How could anyone know what will be easier and more pleasant for you if they are NOT you? Simply: they can't. I know that's what he wants for you, and that's great, but as you've pointed out, that likely won't be the reality.
I'm sorry, babe. I know your family really does care about you but it's not fair to you that they can't see you in your entirety, and can't respect your feelings as something genuine, something to be acknowledged, not something to be explained away or categorized. Not to say I think ill of your family, but even loving families have their issues, and it would be great if they could really listen to you and how you feel.
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But I think you're right...no matter what happens, I've started standing up for myself with a lot of confidence in the spirit of moving forward. That's a big step in the right direction, one that I've never taken. My fingers are crossed, too!
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