Spike agreed.

I finally told him what I wanted and he agreed. Well, I didn't actually tell him, it kind of came tumbling out here amongst arguments, threats and cursing. But everything's out in the open now (well, almost everything) and we're actually going to do this - a period of 24 hours where I'm totally at Spike's mercy. I'm sitting here ( Read more... )

Oh fuck! Fuck! Fuck! FUCK ( Read more... )

Remember how everything was going so well? How we were gonna put the past behind us and get it right this time? Well, what the hell was I thinking? Did I really think we could go for the rest of eternity without fucking up? We can't even make it to the end of the week ( Read more... )

Things are pretty good at the moment ( Read more... )

Say you love me and come home...

Seven words. And they floored me.

( But actions speak louder than words... )

God, I feel like shit.

A couple of days ago, everything was going so well - the corporate machine was well-oiled, staff morale was pretty good, and Spike and I were more happy than we had any right to be. We had an interesting little online chat in the afternoon, and finally ended up in the bedroom where I let Spike… where Spike and I… uh, I guess ( Read more... )

What the hell am I doing?

I'm sitting at my desk, clutching a bottle of whiskey in hands that won't stop shaking.

I should have been upstairs ten minutes ago.

I don't know what I'm more worried about - Spike ringing to find out where I've got to, or him not ringing at all.

...

How can I want this so much, and yet still be so fucking scared?

Let's hope I've got the 'locked' thing to work this time, because this post is about Spike. Don't get me wrong, I mean, things are really good. No, things are *really* good. Not in a 'look out here comes Angelus' kinda of way, but just… really good ( Read more... )

Well, no posts for a while 'cause things have been pretty hectic around here recently. Wes, Lorne and Illyria are off on a project that I just *know* I should know about, but to tell you the truth, I've been pretty preoccupied lately ( Read more... )

Okay, it's been days now, and I STILL can't get hold of Connor. His cell phone's not even ringing anymore, and I can't call his parents because... well, how am I supposed to explain why I'm looking for their son ( Read more... )