Comments | amw: i'm losing my thread

amw

i'm losing my thread

Oct 18, 2020 22:22

So, i suppose it was inevitable. Whenever i have been in North America (or Australia for that matter) my mental health has been utterly disastrous. It's in these new world nations where i was diagnosed bipolar, where i spent years taking prescription medication just to stay stable, where i spent years as a daily drinker and/or illegal drug user to ( Read more... )

bird in a gilded cage, canada fuck yeah, crazy

Comments 31

dadi October 19 2020, 08:00:15 UTC

I didn't know Canada was this horribly american too :( Fuch this virus, which makes living so much more difficult in particular for those who do not want/are not able to have a 9/17 lifestyle with home, cars, kids, netflix and whatnot. I am sure glad I discovered those adhd meds last year because they make me less prone to just run away and throw myself from some bridge but it is horrible to know that only a thin veil of medication separates you from having a major meltdown.
I hope the weather at least gets better where you are... for a small reprieve...

amw October 20 2020, 20:20:13 UTC

Canada is extremely fucking American. There are some characteristics here that are different, like there isn't a national fetish for gun ownership, people tend to be more polite, and the rural areas feel more ethnically diverse than equivalently rural areas in the US, but a lot of the general culture is the same ( ... )

motodraconis October 19 2020, 08:35:55 UTC

Plan your escape to Europe. You jumped China to Canada and aced it, now jump again. I think in Italy and Spain the virus is hot as hell only in certain areas, so the trick is to go to the cooler for virus area and keep your head down, mask on and hands washed there. Norway and Finland are low on virus but I'd not recommend them as the west of Norway pisses with rain constantly while the East, though sunny and bright, will be fucking freezing! (The North, obviously... will be freezing cold and dark!) If you end up anywhere central, you may still need your jumpers, can they be rolled and tied to your backpack? You'll find a way!

amw October 20 2020, 20:07:38 UTC

Honestly, i don't think an escape to Europe would take much planning. Until final Brexit day, i could just jump on a plane and go. Even after final Brexit day i imagine that there will be a 90 day visa waiver for Schengen zone with a UK passport (or even a Canadian one). Logistically it'd be easy to ride out the winter over there ( ... )

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Tomorrow will be better scrollwriter October 19 2020, 11:39:04 UTC

Go ahead and vent your spleen. Your friends can take it.

B.C. gets lots of rain, and Canada is cold everywhere. The autumn can be stunningly beautiful, but there can be anomalies in the weather patterns. Like anyone else, perhaps you've landed in the wrong place at the wrong time.

I hope you could find new goals to reach while you're on the ground there, and perhaps your quality of life will improve.

Wishing you well.

Re: Tomorrow will be better amw October 20 2020, 20:26:02 UTC

I think the idea of making goals is a good one. Playing harmonica was a thing i was using to try give myself something to do every day, something to keep me occupied. I did live in Canada (in a city colder and rainier than this one) for several years and i made do, although i imagine that having a job to maintain was a crutch that helped me through ( ... )

sweetmeow October 19 2020, 14:32:07 UTC

You and I live different lives, and that is the beauty of the Live Journal. I appreciate and value reading those who live differently ( ... )

amw October 22 2020, 06:40:35 UTC

I have to say... Canada hasn't surprised me, insofar as it's exactly what i expected it was going to be. But i think perhaps i overestimated my ability to deal with the things that do make me uncomfortable here. I've been out of the country so long that i'm 40 now! I expected i would have grown up and become a bit more stable or resilient. As it turns out, i'm still struggling with the same things i ever did, and clearly it's leading me to have mini meltdowns, which is a bit disappointing to be honest.

On Europe: i could go right now if i wanted. There's nothing legally or financially stopping me. I think it's more stubbornness. I wanted to come back to Canada and give this place a fair go, and it feels like i'm cheating myself if i just leave again before i even got to do much traveling. I suppose i could just sneak out for the winter, but then i'd be disappointing my landlord. Hrm. We'll see how it goes.