Fall Into Me - Part 1
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The thing about life was, you never knew when a Rick Sorkin was going to walk in with a briefcase full of illicit drugs and take you by surprise for what would feel like the first time in fifteen years.
Talking to the best of the best of Harvard school graduates was something Harvey would rather just leave to Donna completely. She'd know who to choose and it would save him from sitting back in his chair and wondering why no one had even a tiny bit of individuality about them anymore. At least the coffee was good, that was about all that could be said for the day.
But just when he'd totally lost hope on ever actually finding someone who he could tolerate long enough to make it through an entire interview Donna gave him the wink and it was impossible not to be surprised, after all the morons he'd had to live through already, just the mere possibility that there could be someone worth his time was a relief. Sure the kid was late, but if Donna had forgiven him for that there had to be a decent reason why.
It all added up, bits and pieces most ordinary people might have missed. But Mike had always been good with things other people couldn't seem to do as easily. Though this was the first time he'd used his memory to dodge the cops.
He was going to kill Trevor when this was all said and done.
Mike knew the risks, he'd pulled them from his mind and thrown them back at Trevor to make his point, but desperation did crazy things to a man, made him take risks he might never have otherwise. Lead him to running through hotel hallways and into a room full of Harvard graduates, and somehow, miraculously into an interview, posing as a Rick Sorkin. Mike's heart was still racing when he followed Harvey Specter into the room, still not sure how he managed to really escape the cops. And yet there he was, looking like he might actually get away with it before his briefcase bursts open exposing him.
"Ah - I can explain that." Though really there was no need for an explanation, really all those bags of pot really spoke for themselves.
Harvey's eyebrows practically vanished into his hair as he looked over the collection of weed now spread over the rug and then the boy who could apparently explain why he was dealing drugs while applying to work at law firms.
"Of course you can. Pick it up," Harvey said, his voice cold as he slid his hands into his pockets.
Mike was extremely aware of just the sort of position in which he had currently found himself. It was one thing to have evaded the police this far, but Mr. Specter could very well call them in there for this. So rather than launch right into his explanation Mike dropped to his knees and shoving the bags of pot back inside the briefcase and closing it all up again hiding it from view.
"I did try to explain to your secretary out there. I really was just trying to ditch the cops." It wasn't his fault she seemed to take his honest answer for some sort of witty response. Mike got to his feet, briefcase clutched tight in his hand there against his side like he was deciding whether or not bolting would be the better option at this point. "You're not gonna call them back in here are you?" He asked, biting his lip and giving the man what he hoped was a look that said please do anything but that.
Harvey hadn't been expecting the boy to just drop to his knees like that and he stepped back as he quickly shoved his stash back into the briefcase. He kind of looked like a puppy, standing there with wide scared eyes and Harvey didn't think he'd ever seen eyes that blue before. He had no idea what kind of person came to an interview to avoid the police but clearly he had an example of that in front of him.
As much as Harvey believed in the law and all of that, he was also bored and curious. "Maybe," he confessed as he leaned back against the desk. "Or you could tell me what happened, by the time you're finished they might be gone." Harvey tried to tell himself it was just a distraction from the interviews and not because of those eyes, but really he wasn't so sure.
Mike breathed out something like relief when instead of simply tossing him out the door Harvey asked for the explanation that Mike had promised at the start. Still clutching the briefcase close Mike nodded and sat like he'd been asked to before the drugs had given him away.
"I needed the money." It was a terribly cliché thing to say and yet it was the truth. "My friend has been after me to help him out with this for a while. I was just supposed to make a drop, hand off this suitcase for another one. And I'd get a cut of it when it was all said and done." Mike told him, he shook his head he still didn't know how he'd let himself get roped into this - he'd spent so many years saying no to Trevor only to end up here, he'd always been able to come up with the money to keep Grammy taken care of. He'd just never had to get his hands on twenty-five thousand dollars all at once before.
"It didn't quite work out like that," Obviously, Mike was feeling more than a little stupid sitting there trying to actually explain his actions - because they may have made sense at the time, but saying them aloud, trying to justify them just didn't work. And Mike had known that even as he'd accepted Trevor's offer, but he'd felt trapped between a rock and a hard place.
Lifting his sleeve Harvey checked the time, making sure that he had time to continue this little chat. "Have you got a habit?" Harvey asked as he examined the boy closely. It would be a shame if he was a junkie or had some kind of gambling problem but it was a surefire way to stop him giving a shit about his situation. "And what's your real name, I assume it isn't Rick."
Harvey stayed leaning against the desk, looking down at the kid. Now that Harvey really looked at him it was clear he wasn't like any of the other applicants and he should have noticed earlier.
"No, no - no I don't." Mike shook his head in a hurry, "I mean - I smoke, sometimes - not all the time, just with my friend sometimes." He told him. On the really good days, and on the really bad ones - but Mike didn't spend all his time high. Not like some people did, he needed to be able to think clearly most of the time if he was going to be able to take care of Grammy.
He did suppose he hadn't tried very hard to convince Mr. Specter's secretary that he was only trying to get away from the police, if he hadn't corrected her about his name. "Mike, Mike Ross, Michael." Nerves and fear made it hard for him to keep his answers short and simple, maybe the longer he was able to just talk the easier it would get, but Mike was still convinced he was going to be kicked out at any second and into the waiting arms of the police.
Harvey couldn't believe what a good kid he seemed to be, occasional pot smoking aside and good kids shouldn't have been walking around with briefcases full of enough pot to put them away for a very long time.
"Mike Ross," he repeated, giving a sigh as he looked down at him. Pushing off the desk he walked around to take his seat, looking across at the boy. "What are you doing almost getting yourself arrested? Tell me what happened, from the start." Harvey said as he leaned back in his chair. He was intrigued by more than just the blue eyes and he figured he'd earned a break with all the crap he'd had to listen to already that day.
From the start, that would require a very long explanation, Mike thought. "It's my gran," Mike told him, "I needed twenty-five thousand dollars to keep her out of a state-facility. She's all I have in the world; I couldn't let that happen to her." Mike couldn't quite look at Mr. Specter while he spoke about his Grammy and what had lead him up to this.
"I was nervous about all of this from the start, I mean I've read Freakonomics, but I -" He sighed, pushing a hand through his hair, "I noticed a few things on my way in, little details I guess." Mike shrugged. "Like the pool being closed and the room number for your interviews." And Mike launched into the tale of how he'd gone upstairs and found two men loitering in the hall, the small details he'd noticed about the pair of them the lack of gloves, the gun. "So I just asked them simple questions, I asked the bellhop about the pool - and he didn't know that it was closed, and I asked the other guy for the time." Mike shrugged, it had been simple enough at the time, fitting right into that story he'd read all those years ago.
"Once I saw the gun though I was pretty convinced, and I started running when I made it to the stairwell." Which eventually had lead him first to the interview waiting room and then right where he sat then explaining himself to the man who very likely held Mike's future in his hands.
Harvey was blown away by Mike's story, but the more he spoke the more impressed he became and he felt the shift between what had been a chance meeting with a drug dealer to what became a real interview. Mike managed to leave Harvey speechless with how much information he seemed to just know and Harvey felt like he'd found what he'd been looking for coming in to this.
Another him.
Or maybe even a 2.0.
Mike should have just gone to law school; he was wasted on the life he was living now. Though when Harvey learned why he'd been thrown out of college and how he'd been trying to get back ever since he could feel how genuine the kid was and it was that which was really winning him over.
But it was too risky and Harvey had been willing to walk away, even if he'd have liked to hire Mike it just wasn't worth the risk. But as he stared out over the room of remaining applicants it struck him that he didn't want any of them, not when he'd already found more than he'd imagined he would in this chance meeting with a would be drug dealer.
The longer he went on talking, when it stopped being just an explanation and instead became what felt like an interview, Mike thought maybe, just maybe he could actually have this life he'd always wanted, he could have this thing he was so sure had been taken from him after one stupid mistake. It was too much to hope for though, Mike knew that, but he made his case, tried to prove why he could do this job and that he would work harder than anyone to prove it.
"Alright, you're going to start a week from Monday and here's what you're going to do, first, no more pot, we drug test." Harvey said, running quickly over the rules - special rules just for Mike, hoping he wasn't going to end up regretting this decision. He continued on with the rules, focusing on how Mike was going to need a new wardrobe, eyes lingering on his suit which was most likely the cheapest one he'd ever seen.
Pushing back from his desk he stood up so that he and Mike could meet eye to eye. "Don't make me regret this, kid," he said, this was either going to be the biggest mistake of his entire life or the best thing he'd ever done.
"I won't, I promise you won't regret this." Mike could not believe this was happening, and he wasn't going to do anything to screw this up.
Instead his life became the rules Harvey Specter had laid out for him, a trip to Harvard, hiding that suitcase of pot (which, not technically following the rules was as best as Mike could do for the time being), no more smoking, and cutting Trevor out of his life.
This was the chance Mike had been waiting for ever since he'd made that one mistake that cost him everything. And Harvey had given him a chance to get it back, he had taken a chance on him and Mike was going to do everything he could to make sure that didn't end up being a mistake for either of them.
When Mike started at the firm there were the usual hiccups, but on the whole, Harvey was impressed. They didn't always get along perfectly but they made a good team, they complimented each other nicely and Harvey couldn't fault his decision to take a chance on the boy.
Except when he went and got high, but maybe that had been a little Harvey's fault too, which he'd admitted to himself. But unlike some people Harvey Specter could acknowledge his mistakes and do what he could to fix them
And it seemed like Mike could too - even prompting Harvey's praise as he went to confront Louis for what he'd done. Good boy. It had just came so naturally that night, rolled off the tongue in a low voice, as if he'd said something completely normal like Well Done or Good Work. But even as Harvey said it he knew he shouldn't have, that he couldn't go around saying things like that at work, to someone who worked for him.
But he couldn't help it.
It was late and Harvey was tired and the stack of papers in front of him needed his attention. He'd thought about taking them home but he'd decided it was easier to just finish what he'd started. Then Mike breezed through the office door with all the solutions spilling from his lips like the boy was the damn fountain of knowledge.
Harvey smiled, pushing the papers away and giving a slight nod. "Good boy," the words felt heavy in his mouth but his eyes were on the beautiful view from his office, like maybe not looking at him while he said it made it okay.
Mike couldn't help that swell of pleasure that rolled through him at those words, the nearly tangible feeling of pleasure at just two words. Working for Harvey was simultaneously the best and worst thing Mike had ever done in his life. It was getting to do this thing he'd always thought was so far out of his grasp, and at the same time seeing how woefully unprepared he was when his entire experience up to that point had been built by simply reading books.
He could read the books, and he could absorb all that information, but none of the books gave him real world knowledge. And every time he saw that look on Harvey's face that meant he'd messed up again, Mike couldn't stand it.
There had never been anyone else in his life that Mike had wanted to impress as much as he did with Harvey, and he wasn't entirely sure why either - it just happened that way. Harvey just seemed to bring it out in him.
"It just took a little creative thinking." Mike told Harvey, "Do you need anything else?" It was late and Mike probably could get away with going home, he was still getting used to these eighty hour work weeks, spending more time in the office than he did at his apartment, and yet he still asked if Harvey needed him - because that was his job, or so he told himself.
Harvey's lips thinned at that simple question about what he needed and he drummed his fingers lightly on the desk. Why did it feel like Mike Ross knew exactly what he needed? Harvey turned back to him, trying to dull his piercing gaze with a smile. "Coffee, not your job to get it for me, but it's something I need," he said as he glanced back down at what he was working on.
"You steal mine often enough it feels like it." Mike said with a wry grin, he watched Harvey for a moment longer before dropping his gaze just briefly. "I can grab you some on my way out, if you want." Mike shrugged; it would only be a few more minutes on his already too long day. He didn't need to push, it really wasn't his job to get Harvey coffee, even if his was stolen more often than not - but Harvey needed it and Mike felt like the taking care of the things Harvey needed was his job, even if it was fetching coffee.
"I like to think of it as borrowing," Harvey replied with a smirk, relaxing back in his chair. Mike was eager to please and Harvey wished he could just appreciate that in a professional way, but he couldn't help the way that it made him feel. Reaching into the inside pocket of his jacket he pulled out his wallet, holding a twenty between his fingers. "If you were to go get us both a coffee, well, I wouldn't hold it against you," he said as he held the note out to Mike.
"I think you might need to check your dictionary again," Mike said and then continued making his previous statement pointless as he defined the word from memory, "To borrow, to receive with the implied or expressed intention of returning the same or an equivalent." He smirked, just a little pleased with himself since this particular talent had seemed to be one that Harvey appreciated ever since that first meeting.
He nodded though when Harvey held out the bill to him suggesting he get coffee for the pair of them, he could do that. "Alright." Mike agreed, and soon was in one of the elevators on the way downstairs without a second thought, just happy to be able to do something more for Harvey before the end of the day.
While Mike was gone Harvey tried to get his head screwed back on straight. He shouldn't have been testing boundaries, not when they were there for an important reason. Harvey knew that just because he could get Mike to do what he asked didn't mean he should, no matter how much he enjoyed it.
At least coffee shops around this part of town seemed to understand about lawyers and their insane schedules and Mike was back up in Harvey's office two cups of coffee in hand not long after he'd left. Though rather than leave with his own cup for the night he decided to stay. "Are there any files I can get a head start on?" If he was going to be caffeinating himself he might as well have something to do.
Harvey took the coffee he was offered, glancing back up from what he was working on. "Go home, Mike. It's late," Harvey said simply, knowing it was best to send temptation home rather than tell him to sit and stay.
Pursing his lips Might fought a frown when Harvey told him to go home, there was probably something that needed to be done - this was Pearson Hardman there was always something that needed to be done after all, and yet Harvey was sending him home. He could have argued he supposed, could have reminded Harvey that he'd stayed later before - even spent the night once or twice, but in the end he just nodded. "Get some sleep, Harvey. I'll see you in the morning." Mike said, if Harvey wouldn't let him help he could at least do with a reminder that sleep was a necessary human function, even for people like Harvey Specter.
There was a reason Harvey hated pro bono cases. They made people stupid, they got their damn feelings involved and people got sloppy. Sure they were good for the firm and the image and the staving orphans and the universe and yadayadayada.
He still didn't like them. Being an Assistant DA had shown Harvey enough charity cases to last him a lifetime. But Mike always seemed to get so caught up in them and nothing short of a shaking seemed to get him to understand that getting involved didn't make him a better lawyer.
"Donna!" Harvey called, seeing the pile of folders he'd needed Mike to proof and send over to their clients still sitting untouched on his desk an hour after he'd told Mike about them. "Get me Mike," he said, gritting his teeth together as he stood before his windows, arms behind his back. "I don't care if you have to drag him here by his hair."
So maybe there were times when Mike got caught up in the cases they worked on, that wasn't necessarily a bad thing, when you actually heard about the shit people had to deal with in their lives it just made you want to help them that much more, or so Mike reasoned. He still didn't understand why keeping distance between himself and clients had to be so important. Wasn't the whole reason they did pro bono cases to help people?
Which was why he'd gotten so caught up in this particular case. The client reminding him just a little too much of Grammy for him to just maintain a wall between them, no matter what Harvey said.
He'd been digging around, taking some new angle he'd thought of one that he hoped might yield something helpful when Donna of all people found him in his cubicle. Mike's eyes went wide when she stood before him. "I am under strict instructions to bring you to Harvey by any means necessary." She told him, "So please do not make me use my considerable skills to take you down and then force me to drag you through the office." And with that she turned on her heel and left, clearly expecting Mike to follow.
Wide eyed, Mike got to his feet ignoring the sniggering of his fellow associates and followed Donna rushing to catch up with her, and then was summarily pushed into Harvey's office once they'd reached it.
"You wanted to see me?" He asked.
When Mike entered the office he'd managed to quell the rage, a little bit. At least now he wasn't in danger of setting his beloved baseballs on fire with the anger rolling off him. He didn't know why it made him so furious, it was only an hour and maybe it didn't matter that much. But Mike had taken something he'd asked him to do and just not done it.
Worse than that he'd placed his priorities over Harvey's, over the firm's and that was unacceptable.
Turning back he looked at Mike for a moment before he grabbed the files off the desk and threw them against the boy's chest. "What the hell are those?" Harvey asked his voice steely.
Fumbling to catch the files Harvey thrust at him and keep their contents intact, Mike eventually managed to straighten arms full of the offending files. And he knew, he knew what they were and he understood the reason Harvey threw them at him. "They look like files to me." He just couldn't help himself though, because it had only been an hour and while it might have taken any other associate several hours to get through them all it would take him less than half that time.
Harvey saw red, it was the only way to describe it and he took a few large steps closer until he was well into Mike's personal space. "And what are they doing on my desk? When I asked you, actually I'm pretty sure I told you that they needed to be taken care of right away," he was practically growling, his voice rumbling in his chest.
It was harder with Harvey so close to him to remain defiant, though Mike didn't let himself be cowed right away. He resisted that urge to step back and drop his eyes, though it was running hot through his veins while he stared at Harvey. "I needed to take care of something," Mike told him, "These won't take me long to get through." Mike didn't brag about his efficiency with the work he was given, but he was well aware that he could complete the work leaps and bounds faster than any of the other associates. It just meant he had a little extra time to work on things like this pro bono case.
Pursing his lips Harvey had to fight the urge to grab the back of Mike's neck and force his eyes down to the ground, or tell the boy to get right down on to his damn knees - the desire was just so damn visceral, especially with the way Mike was practically begging for it. "And what was so important that you ignored what I told you to do, what I needed to be done quickly," Harvey was still growling and Mike just seemed to want to make it worse for himself.
"Did you even talk to her?" Mike asked, defiant still. "Did you even talk to Mrs. Whithey? She needs our help and you're just-" Mike stopped holding the files in one arm against his chest while the other ended up gesturing vaguely, because he didn't know how to describe what Harvey was doing. Because it didn't look like this case was important to him, and Mike knew how Harvey felt about pro bono work, having had one foisted off on him all ready and he just wanted to help her. What was so wrong with that?
"No, that's what I have you for," Harvey said, gritting his teeth. "I didn't talk to her because I already know you'll win the damn case and there will be a hug and I'll continue to go on living the same life I did because quite frankly, I do not care," he said, pushing Mike lightly in the chest, over the files. "This is what I care about and when I say now? I mean right now. Not whenever the hell you feel like it."
Mike knew he was on dangerous ground, but he'd known that from the moment he'd stepped into Harvey's office. And for some reason he just could not stop himself from taking that extra step, and pushing where he knew it would be best to just keep his mouth shut. Particularly when so much of him was telling him to shut his mouth, to drop his eyes, to apologize, to make it better, all so Harvey would stop looking at him like that. "What is wrong with you?" Mike said only just keeping himself from actually swearing at Harvey. "Why is it so wrong to care about these people we're helping? Are you just completely incapable of human emotion? Please tell me because I need to know, Harvey." And suddenly Mike wondered just briefly if this was about Mrs. Whithey at all before the thought fled his mind just as quickly as it had appeared.
Harvey's hand came up almost without his permission, gripping the back of Mike's neck hard as he continued to challenge him, to argue. "Get out of my office; take those files to our client so that they get there in the time frame I gave my word that they would and if you ever challenge me in front of all these people again? I won't just fire you, I will ruin you." Harvey was disappointed in him and it was obvious from the tone of his voice to the look in his eyes as he stepped away from Mike and dropped his hand. Glancing out of his door Donna was giving him a strange look and a few people quickly looked away or hurried along like they hadn't paused to watch the show.
It was the disappointment more than the anger that made Mike finally shut up, something cold and hard settling in the pit of his stomach at that look Harvey gave him. He dropped his eyes and nodded - it wasn't even the threat of being fired that had him back peddling, seeing just how far he'd pushed and just where that had landed him now. Both arms around the files Mike turned and left without saying anything, ignoring anyone who may or may not have been watching them.
There was a trick to celebrating with clients and the trick was to make sure they thought you were drinking as much as they were and to actually drink less than half of that. Even still Harvey was feeling pretty happy as he called Ray to pick them up. It was late and it was a work night, but the deal they'd just closed had too many zeros not to enjoy themselves at least a little bit.
"How was the adults table, kid?" Harvey asked him as he stood in the fresh air outside the building, buttoning his jacket. Things had been tense for a while at the office, but as usual Mike was just too damn eager to please for Harvey to stay angry with him for long. They'd patched things up pretty seamlessly.
Mike was still reeling a little bit from getting to celebrate with the clients, well from the whole thing really - he still wasn't used to the high profile clients Pearson Hardman dealt with and that coupled with getting to be there that night like he was an actual part of the team and not just some grunt pushing papers all the time. It was pretty great.
Of course the alcohol didn't help matters either, he was smiling and bright eyed while he waited with Harvey at the end of the night. "That was - it was awesome. You do that all the time?" He asked, practically bouncing on the balls of his feet with excitement and eager to hear if this was the sort of thing he would get to look forward to in the future.
Harvey grinned at the look on Mike's face; he was just so innocent and well wishing. He felt like all the things that had once impressed him were now impressing Mike and it reminded him not to take it all for granted. "I certainly do, they do usually serve the best champagne," Harvey said, reaching out to straighten the lapel of Mike's jacket. "You did really good, kid," he added.
Mike stilled easily when Harvey's touched him, like that point of connection was enough of a tether to weigh him down where he'd felt a little like he might just come apart with all the sort of wonder and excitement that had been whirling through him after that night. "Thanks," He smiled, he didn't get praise like that often from Harvey, it was clear most of the time in the way Harvey looked at him or in something he said, but to actually be told he'd done good was something Mike loved to hear. "So, does this mean I get to sit at the adult table more often?" He asked, just a little hopeful.
The way that Mike seemed to practically shine from his praise made Harvey's stomach clench and he just wanted to tell him that he was a good boy, a good perfect boy. But Harvey only let those words slip out by accident when he couldn't help it. "Maybe you will," Harvey said quietly.
Maybe was more than Mike had expected to get, and he just grinned happily, tonight was a good night - the sort of night he needed honestly. Where he could see the good parts of all of this, see Harvey enjoying himself too outside of the office, that this was more than just paperwork and big plans that Mike still couldn't always figure out.
Ray pulled up with the car and Harvey walked slowly towards it, beckoning Mike to follow with a tilt of his head. They slid into the car and Harvey reminded Ray of Mike's address before he sat back, fingers drumming on his thigh as he looked out the window.
Sitting beside Harvey in the car, Mike couldn't help the way his leg bounced, that nervous excited energy still working its way through him. He'd end up staying up late despite the hour no doubt, until this worked its way out of his system. "Thanks for letting me come tonight, Harvey." Mike said after several quiet moments, unable to just sit in the quiet, needing something to fill it.
When Mike said those words, Thanks for letting me come, Harvey's nostrils flared and he inhaled sharply, slowly turning to look at the other man. "You're vibrating," Harvey said with a dark chuckle, resting his hand on his shoulder to hopefully still the movement. "Stop," he said quietly, firmly, in that deep voice he usually reserved for a much more casual environment.
Mike was suddenly much more aware of what he'd been doing than he was before Harvey pointed it out, but when Harvey settled a hand on his shoulder and told him to stop the reaction was almost instant. Mike felt it all just melt out of him and that need to keep moving evaporated, like Harvey could just draw it out with a single touch. "Sorry," He said ducking his head and giving Harvey a wry grin. "I'm not really used to things like that, I guess. Maybe the novelty will have worn off next time."
The way Mike just followed his command, instantly, like it was the most natural thing in the world made his heart start to pound in his ears. "It's okay," Harvey said, reaching his hand out in a way that was originally intended to ruffle Mike's hair but it was soft instead, stroking the boy's hair gently. "I used to get excited about things like that, too." Harvey assured him, stroking his thumb firmly over his temple.
He just wanted to say it, needed to say it and he couldn't. But regardless it still felt like the words Good boy echoed through the car.
Mike didn't really mean to, but when Harvey stroked his hair he closed his eyes and leaned into it, just slightly, before he straightened up again. "You did not." Mike chuckled, disbelieving when Harvey said he'd had a similar reaction. "I can't see you being any different than you are now." He admitted - it was a silly thought, but Mike couldn't seem to find a way to imagine Harvey as anything less than the man he was today.
He liked this though, sitting beside Harvey with the calming motion of the car moving them, and Harvey's hand in his hair. It just felt right.
There was always a tension between the two, but Harvey felt like it was totally out of control here in the confines of the spacious back seat. "Can't you? You can only see me as your boss? Exactly like I am now?" Harvey asked, maybe testing the waters a little bit. He'd made Mike lean into him once and he wanted to try that again, his thumb moving down to the base of his skull, pressing a little harder.
"That's not what I meant." Mike said slowly, sighing quietly at the feeling of Harvey's thumb pressing into his skin, making him press toward that touch. "I just meant," Mike stopped to lick his lips, trying to sort out his thoughts, which were suddenly fuzzy around the edges. "I meant, put together, your three piece suits, like you can take on the world all the time." He told him. "I thought that when we met that day, you know after I got over the very real possibility of a heart attack." Mike huffed a short laugh at the memory, that day seeming so far away now while he sat there beside Harvey.
Harvey's nostrils flared again as Mike licked his lips and it just made him want for everything he was never going to allow himself to have. He chuckled softly when Mike laughed, nodding his head. "And you wonder why I wear such nice suits," Harvey said, turning in his seat and slowly pulling his hand away from Mike's scalp, mainly to see the reaction.
Mike found himself subconsciously following Harvey's hand when he pulled away, frowning slightly before he righted himself. "To scare everyone into submission?" Mike guessed with a grin. "I think you just like them too much to wear anything else." He liked Harvey's suits, maybe they were a bit much for him, but Harvey was the sort of man who could pull that off. Mike still preferred his own style of suits, but thinking about Harvey in anything else just didn't fit in his mind.
He felt like his fingers were twitching at the absence of the warmth beneath, but the amount that he wanted to touch him surely meant he shouldn't let himself. "Do you think I need a suit to make someone submit to me, Mike?" He asked, his eyes locked on the other man's face. "I do like them though, they suit me," Harvey said as he licked his lips.
Mike opened his mouth to reply and immediately closed it again, not entirely sure how to respond to that. Maybe it was because the answer came so easily, or maybe Mike was only just catching on that maybe they weren't just talking about suits and law. "No, I don't think you need a suit for that." He said finally, slowly, unable to look anywhere but at Harvey, following the path of his tongue when he licked his lips. "Nice pun," Mike smirked, attempting to recover as much as he possibly could - maybe he'd had a little too much to drink that night. "They do though, suit you I mean."
The tension in the car was just escalating and Harvey knew they were starting to play a game they could never come back from. "You're right, I don't," he said, feeling like the looks they were giving each other actually contained heat now. "I'm very clever," he agreed with a wink. "They only have power because people think they do. That real power comes from the person, a suit might make a man look good, but they don't make a man."
Mike was sure there was very little Harvey actually needed a suit for, beyond the obvious reasons of course, but he was sure the man sitting beside him would still be the same force Mike knew him to be even out of a suit. "And very modest too." Mike grinned though, because Harvey was very clever, he'd have to be to be as good as he was. "A suit helps though, just a little." He was starting to feel restless again, needing some sort of outlet for the tension that almost made him feel like he was drowning. Mike let his fingers starting to drum against his thigh again while he considered the point Harvey was making.
"A suit helps," Harvey agreed, glancing down at himself. He watched the boy's fingers starting to fidget again and felt like if this was a different situation Mike would take a lot of training, but it would be a pleasure to be the one to do it. "I said stop," Harvey said, taking Mike's hand and pinning it behind his back, moving in so his lips were right up against his ear. "And I won't tell you again, boy." He said.
There had been something Mike was going to say, he was sure of it - it had been on the tip of his tongue, but then Harvey had reminded him that he'd been told to stop, and his hand was twisted pulled behind his back and Mike couldn't think of anything else but Harvey's breath hot against his ear. He whined, high in the back of his throat and nodded, a sharp jerk of his head in response. Not trusting himself to actually speak, Mike swallowed, licking his lips again and tipping his head back just slightly.
Mike tipped his head back and Harvey hummed happily in approval. "Such a good boy," he whispered, unable to contain it a moment longer. Because Mike without any prompting or real knowledge of what was happening was already just so good that it hurt in its perfection.
Mike had only thought Harvey's earlier praise had been nice, because that quiet voice in his ear telling him that he was a good boy now was better than anything else he'd been told that night. He didn't let himself think about it often, that need to be good for Harvey - it was all just wrapped up in that need to make sure Harvey never regretted giving him this chance, if Harvey thought he was good then it was just proof that he'd made the right decision. But this curl of warmth that had settled inside of him was so much more than that and Mike wasn't even sure how to address it.
But that was the point. Mike didn't know what was happening and that just wasn't fair. He couldn't do this. Gently releasing Mike's hand he stroked his shoulder slowly, not wanting Mike to even subconsciously think he'd done something wrong. Clearing his throat he nodded towards the window. "Almost at your stop, Mike."
He was pulled from his thoughts though when Harvey cleared his throat, breaking the sort of spell Mike had found himself under. He glanced out the window and nodded, what had been only blurs of windows and lights before was now familiar sights as they neared his apartment building. "Harvey-" Mike started and stopped, not sure what he should say, if there was anything to say at all.
Harvey had crossed the line. He was usually proud of crossing lines but this one, it could hurt Mike too much, it could hurt him too and Harvey Specter never let himself get into the position of being hurt. His name, said so unsure made every reflex in him want to reassure him, need to reassure him. It was his job to look after him and leaving him like this seemed so wrong. "Mike, it's okay, rookie. I promise, everything is okay," he assured him, fingers gently moving up and down his spine.
Mike exhaled slowly, just let himself focus on the feeling of Harvey's fingers touching him, the soothing repetition of the up and down motion Harvey used then. He nodded eventually, he still didn't know what had happened, how they'd ended up right here, things blurring together in his mind when he tried to piece it out and make sense of it.
All he really knew was Harvey touching him. "Okay," He said finally nodding again, like if he repeated it enough it would make that the truth.
The car slowed and pulled up outside Mike's building, Harvey stroking his hand over the boy's lower back. "Time to go, kid," he said quietly, leaning across Mike to open the door for him. "I'll see you at work tomorrow; we've got lots to do."
Harvey felt like he was panicking, but he had a well-practiced mask to cover that.
Harvey was just so close tonight, Mike was almost glad they had made it to his apartment, because he wasn't sure how he was supposed to stand that much longer, not if he was supposed to stay still like Harvey had told him to. "Yeah," He licked his lips and nodded. "I'll ah, see you tomorrow." He agreed watching Harvey's face for a moment before he let himself move toward the open door and then getting out.
"Thanks for tonight, Harvey." Mike said quietly, leaning back in for just a moment, though exactly which part of the night he was thankful for even Mike wasn't entirely certain, and with that he closed the door and headed upstairs.
When Mike shut the door Harvey put his head in his hands, the car pulling away and making him want to leap out the door. Squeezing his temples he realized that his hands were shaking.
This was so, so bad.
After what had happened in the back of his car, Harvey had known he'd have to talk to Mike about what was going on. It wasn't fair on either of them, but not only that it also wasn't safe for Mike to rely so much on Harvey and not even realize it.
But knowing he had to do something and doing it were two very different things. So Harvey put it off for a few days, until the tension had got to a totally ridiculous level and he knew he couldn't wait anymore. This was not a conversation to have at the office and he didn't want to command Mike come home with him, because that was just- yeah it was best he didn't get Mike into his home, no matter how nice that thought suddenly was - especially given how nice that thought suddenly was.
So Harvey called the office to make sure Mike was gone before he dialed in Mike's number and telling him he'd be at his apartment in twenty minutes for a talk. So at least now when he knocked at Mike's door, he was expected. He'd even changed into more casual clothing in the hopes of being less intimidating and more approachable, although he doubted it would do any good.
Mike might not have known exactly what was going on between him and Harvey, but he wasn't completely clueless. He felt the tension and some underlying need in all of his interactions with Harvey, though how exactly to define all of that Mike wasn't sure. He'd searched through his memory banks looking for the right word, idea, theory and come up blank again and again. Though at the end of the day a large part of him didn't feel like it mattered that he couldn't name it - not when it all felt so good.
However, when Harvey called to tell him he was coming over, to his apartment, Mike's heart jumped up into his throat. He spent the better part of those twenty minutes stuffing pizza boxes into his oven and shoving dirty clothes under his bed and stacking up piles of paper into what he hoped looked like organized stacks rather than just haphazard piles.
And despite all of that Mike felt no more prepared to have Harvey in his home than he would have if he hadn't done anything. Still when Harvey knocked Mike opened the door and let him in, heart racing all ready.
"Do you want anything?" Though what did Mike really have to offer? A few bottles of cheap wine (thank god he was just a little classier than boxed wine - this week) and some water, but he felt like he should offer all the same. It was part of being a good host, some part of his brain supplied, and not really about making sure that Harvey had what he needed.
When Mike asked Harvey if he wanted anything he straightened up a little, nostrils flaring at the idea. How could one person be so accommodating without even realize what was happening between them. Mike was so naturally submissive that it drove Harvey just a little bit crazy when he said things like that. "Water would be great," Harvey said, gently closing the door behind him.
Stepping into Mike's space Harvey did his best to keep his feelings about it off his face. At least while it wasn't very nice at least it was clean and didn't smell quite as bad as it looked like it might.
"Yeah, okay." Mike nodded, standing there with Harvey for just a minute. With Harvey so close, in his home, in the one place that Mike had for himself he wasn't sure how to respond. This was the one place Mike let himself relax and yet with Harvey there he felt on edge. It took him several moments, before he could make himself move.
He fled to the kitchen, ducking out of Harvey's line of sight so he could at least pretend like having Harvey in his home didn't make it impossible for him to think straight. Mike pulled two bottles of water from the fridge and steadied himself at the counter for just a moment before he turned around. "I didn't really expect you to be here … ever." He said offering Harvey one of the bottles.
There was that tension again, delicious and thick, hanging between them in a way that made Harvey swear he could taste it in the air. He had to smile when Mike practically ran from him though, stepping into the space and walking in a slow circle around the room while Mike got them a drink.
"I need to talk to you about something," Harvey said carefully, turning back to look at Mike and take the water he was offered. "Sit down," he said firmly, indicating the end of the couch.
Mike thought maybe he was supposed to be the one who offered seating in his own home, but that thought was secondary in his mind as he dropped down where Harvey indicated. "Okay," He said slowly, running through his mind trying to find what it was Harvey needed to talk to him about that would bring him to his home. "You're not here to fire me are you?"
Harvey stood over him for a moment before taking a seat on the coffee table across from him, close enough so their knees almost touched. "No, this isn't about work, or your job. Everything there is fine and you have nothing to worry about," Harvey soothed him quietly. "Well nothing to worry about so long as you keep up the good work that is," he teased with a little smile, hoping to lessen some of the tension.
The relief that he wasn't about to lose his job was almost visible as it worked through Mike. "I will." He nodded, he'd already seen what happened when he messed up - and he knew how that felt and he wasn't in a hurry to do that again, he wanted to do good work. "So, if it's not about work, then what?" Mike was almost scared to ask, but he did because he wasn't sure he could just wait for it, whatever it might be.
"Calm down, it's okay," Harvey assured him, placing his hand gently on Mike's knee because he could feel the fear in Mike and that was the last thing he wanted. "I want to talk to you about something and it might sound a little crazy but I do have a point," Harvey paused to open his water and take a sip, putting the bottle down on the table beside him. "Tell me what you know about dominants and submissives," Harvey said, thumb pressing softly into Mike's knee to encourage him to answer.
Mike breathed out slowly, focusing on Harvey's hand on his knee - the warmth of Harvey through his clothes. And after a moment he felt better, he could look up at Harvey and feel like it wasn't the end of the world just waiting for him. He nodded waiting for whatever crazy thing it was Harvey was going to tell him, not sure what exactly it would be. "Ah-" Mike opened his mouth to reply but stopped closing his mouth just as quickly as he'd started.
He thought about the question, thinking about the definitions that came to mind - music, genetics, ecology but thinking about it in this context, none of it seemed to make any sense here. "I don't know, all I've got is definitions - a dominant individual in a social hierarchy, someone who submits to others. I mean," Mike shook his head trailing off, just a little hesitant before he continued, "and really bad porn, but … yeah." Mike ignored the small part of his brain that was screaming that he'd just admitted to Harvey that he watched really bad porn.
Harvey laughed and gave a little nod as he stroked his thumb back and forth over Mike's knee. "Funnily enough, you're most right with the bad porn theory," he said, running his hand restlessly and uncharacteristically through his hair, feeling like this situation was stressful for him too. "Okay, first off, we'll call them Doms and subs for short, okay. Now a lot of people see BDSM as something overtly sexual and it is, or it can be, but it's not just about that. A Dom may be aroused by the control he has over a sub, but it's that control he craves. Where as someone who is a sub might crave to be told what to do, how to sit, when they're good, when they're bad and they might be aroused by this but they also get a feeling of just... overall wellbeing, I've heard it described as like being high," Harvey explained, keeping his voice low and level as he looked into Mike's eyes.
Mike really tried to follow Harvey's explanation, but he wasn't really able to piece together why exactly this was something they needed to talk about. Doms and subs and BDSM (his mind fleshing out the acronym for him). He followed the words, understood the meaning of them all and the sort of ideas they conveyed but he didn't understand why. Not until Harvey started to tell him what a sub might crave. The feeling of familiarity in those words - his mind working to connect the dots he hadn't seen before.
"Oh, I - oh." Mike stopped himself unsure of what he should even say. "Okay so a Dom craves control and a sub craves - those things." He finished dumbly, "Right, okay, got it." He nodded, not really looking at Harvey anymore, instead focusing on Harvey's hand on his knee. Feeling like it was the safer focal point at the moment.
At least Mike was taking the news better than he'd hoped, not laughing it off and putting a whole room between them like Harvey had thought he might. At least he seemed open to talking and that was the first step in sorting out this mess.
"Yes and no, a Dom craves control, yes, but most Doms, a Dom like me," he paused to grip Mike's knee a little tighter, trying to bring his eyes back to his face. "Crave control given freely, by someone who wants to please them. Everyone is different and some people like pain and over people like servitude, but the thing I'm trying to tell you is that what we're doing isn't as innocent as you think it is and it feels very wrong for us to be involved like this when you don't even know what you're doing and because of our situation."
Mike understood what that hand on his knee was asking for, and he lifted his face watching Harvey while he spoke, making it impossible for Mike to even pretend that he didn't know this conversation was about them. That if Harvey was the Dom here then that made him the sub and those things he did - all of those times he'd just wanted Harvey to acknowledge him, to see that he was doing good work, to take care of the things Harvey needed, they were somehow a part of this. "So what are we doing, Harvey? Because I don't understand."
Harvey wanted to thread his fingers through Mike's hair and Harvey always got what he wanted, except now, with this, he had to do what was best. "Being a sub doesn't make someone weak," he said, because he had to reassure him before he put an end to it. "Not even a little bit. Being a sub is something to be proud of, that you know what you want and you're not afraid to have it." But this wasn't about reassuring Mike about what he might very well be. This was about them. "I know you don't which is why this is going to have to stop. The touching, the sending you to do things for me, asking things of you, telling you what to do, all of that is going to have to stop. I can't be telling my Associate what a good, beautiful, perfect boy he is, you know that." Harvey paused, sitting back a bit and putting his hand back on his knee.
Mike wasn't even ready to start thinking about what it meant to be a sub, if that was what he was supposed to be here. He couldn't not when Harvey was saying this had to stop. "Isn't that my job?" Mike asked slowly. "Doing things for you, you telling me what to do?" Mike asked, ignoring that sudden drop in the pit of his stomach, when Mike let himself think about how much he'd liked when Harvey had called him a good boy, the way it settled something inside of him he'd never known was restless until then. "Why can't you do that?"
Everything was a little bit easier with Mike being as smart as he was, it's why Harvey had hired him in the first place. "It is but it isn't, I know when I'm crossing the line and I'm going to stop. I just didn't want you to think it was because of something you said or did." Harvey said, sitting back a bit to put more space between them. "Why can't I what? Tell you that you're a good boy?" Harvey asked, eyebrows arching as his gaze snapped back to Mike's eyes from where he'd been glancing around his place.
"It is." Mike agreed because if Harvey suddenly stopped telling him what to do Mike was pretty sure he wouldn't have a job anymore, either that or Louis would take his place and that thought was not a pleasant one at all. But none of that was important when Harvey looked at him again, it made him want to drop his gaze all over again, but he didn't let himself. "Yes, that. Why can't you do that?" Mike asked. "If it's something you want, and it's something I want, why can't you?"
Harvey really wanted to give in to those sweet blue eyes, give in to the assurance that it was what Mike wanted too. But that was weak and he needed to be strong. "For so many reasons, Mike. Because the relationship between a Dom and sub is even more serious than a sexual relationship and when it ends it can be messy. Because you work for me and I don't want it to be obvious what's between us." Harvey paused, placing his fingertip under Mike's chin and bringing his head up high. "But mainly because it won't just end there, it will escalate and I don't think you fully understand what you're asking for."
"Nothing - nothing has even started and you're thinking about messy endings?" Mike couldn't stop himself, couldn't keep his frustration to himself at all of this. It was all new and Mike was still trying to sort out what he thought about it, but Harvey was cutting him off before he could even find a stopping point himself. "Harvey -" Mike started and stopped. "This - all of this, you can't just tell me about it and then say that's it." Mike only just managed to stop himself from saying it wasn't fair - it wasn't but saying that, actually saying it felt like it would only prove Harvey's point.
Harvey had been careful his entire life to avoid messes. Messy relationships, messy houses, messy people, but everything with Mike had kind of been a mess from the start and it was just getting worse. "I'm thinking about the firm. I'm thinking about my future, your future and how this could affect both of those things," Harvey said, keeping his finger under Mike's chin. "I'm telling you about this so that you understand, because you deserve to know," he sighed, lips pursing as he looked into Mike's eyes. "I can't be your boss, your friend and your Dom, not when you have no idea what you'd be getting yourself in to."
He shouldn't have been surprised really, how many times had Harvey told that what he cared about most was himself? Often enough that Mike should have known better. "Right, of course you are." Mike nodded, the firm and Harvey's future, and last Mike's - and how this might mess up the future Harvey wanted for himself at the firm. "So tell me." Mike said, he shouldn't press, not when Harvey had made it clear that they couldn't but Mike couldn't help himself. "Tell me what I'm getting myself into, Harvey, please."
His jaw clenched when Mike asked like that, pleaded with him to tell him and the words sliced through him like a hot blade. Harvey wanted to, he really did, tell him how he would train him and keep him, use him and have him in every way imaginable but that wasn't going to make getting out of this any easier. "I can't, Mike," he said quietly, shaking his head. "It's so complicated and being a sub, if you decide that's what you are, is something you need to come to on your own, not because I tell you that's what you are."
It was just so damn frustrating, to have Harvey there, telling him just enough to make sense and yet not enough for him to understand it. Part of him wanted to argue, to continue to press - find where it hurt for Harvey, just like he'd been taught. Mike couldn't though, not with that tone Harvey used, not with that look in his eyes. "So what now?" Mike asked quietly. "You're just going to leave and we forget that we had this conversation and you stop telling me what to do at the office?"
This was the hardest thing Harvey had ever had to do, to fight his own instinct and everything that he wanted to do what he really did think was the right thing. Harvey let his finger slip from under Mike's chin, clasping his hands together so he wouldn't touch him again. "Now I'm going to go home and I'm going to see you at work tomorrow and everything is going to go back to normal. I'm still going to tell you what to do, but just not how I might have been recently." Looking into Mike's eyes he gave a sad little smile as he shook his head slowly from side to side. "There are a lot of good Doms out there and every single one of them would be lucky to call you theirs," he said quietly, sadly as he stood up.
Mike wanted to lean toward Harvey when he pulled his hand away again, wanted Harvey touching him again. But he stayed where he was for a moment, and then leaned back putting space between them because he wasn't sure he'd be able to keep himself from reaching out if he didn't. He dropped his eyes to his hands this time, utterly fascinated with the way his jeans felt beneath his fingers. "Yeah, alright." Mike nodded without looking up at Harvey when he stood.
"I guess, I'll see you tomorrow." He sighed, closing his eyes and pressing his face into his hands. He was going to be fine. He'd been fine before this conversation and he'd be fine after. He just needed a little time.
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Master Post
The thing about life was, you never knew when a Rick Sorkin was going to walk in with a briefcase full of illicit drugs and take you by surprise for what would feel like the first time in fifteen years.
Talking to the best of the best of Harvard school graduates was something Harvey would rather just leave to Donna completely. She'd know who to choose and it would save him from sitting back in his chair and wondering why no one had even a tiny bit of individuality about them anymore. At least the coffee was good, that was about all that could be said for the day.
But just when he'd totally lost hope on ever actually finding someone who he could tolerate long enough to make it through an entire interview Donna gave him the wink and it was impossible not to be surprised, after all the morons he'd had to live through already, just the mere possibility that there could be someone worth his time was a relief. Sure the kid was late, but if Donna had forgiven him for that there had to be a decent reason why.
It all added up, bits and pieces most ordinary people might have missed. But Mike had always been good with things other people couldn't seem to do as easily. Though this was the first time he'd used his memory to dodge the cops.
He was going to kill Trevor when this was all said and done.
Mike knew the risks, he'd pulled them from his mind and thrown them back at Trevor to make his point, but desperation did crazy things to a man, made him take risks he might never have otherwise. Lead him to running through hotel hallways and into a room full of Harvard graduates, and somehow, miraculously into an interview, posing as a Rick Sorkin. Mike's heart was still racing when he followed Harvey Specter into the room, still not sure how he managed to really escape the cops. And yet there he was, looking like he might actually get away with it before his briefcase bursts open exposing him.
"Ah - I can explain that." Though really there was no need for an explanation, really all those bags of pot really spoke for themselves.
Harvey's eyebrows practically vanished into his hair as he looked over the collection of weed now spread over the rug and then the boy who could apparently explain why he was dealing drugs while applying to work at law firms.
"Of course you can. Pick it up," Harvey said, his voice cold as he slid his hands into his pockets.
Mike was extremely aware of just the sort of position in which he had currently found himself. It was one thing to have evaded the police this far, but Mr. Specter could very well call them in there for this. So rather than launch right into his explanation Mike dropped to his knees and shoving the bags of pot back inside the briefcase and closing it all up again hiding it from view.
"I did try to explain to your secretary out there. I really was just trying to ditch the cops." It wasn't his fault she seemed to take his honest answer for some sort of witty response. Mike got to his feet, briefcase clutched tight in his hand there against his side like he was deciding whether or not bolting would be the better option at this point. "You're not gonna call them back in here are you?" He asked, biting his lip and giving the man what he hoped was a look that said please do anything but that.
Harvey hadn't been expecting the boy to just drop to his knees like that and he stepped back as he quickly shoved his stash back into the briefcase. He kind of looked like a puppy, standing there with wide scared eyes and Harvey didn't think he'd ever seen eyes that blue before. He had no idea what kind of person came to an interview to avoid the police but clearly he had an example of that in front of him.
As much as Harvey believed in the law and all of that, he was also bored and curious. "Maybe," he confessed as he leaned back against the desk. "Or you could tell me what happened, by the time you're finished they might be gone." Harvey tried to tell himself it was just a distraction from the interviews and not because of those eyes, but really he wasn't so sure.
Mike breathed out something like relief when instead of simply tossing him out the door Harvey asked for the explanation that Mike had promised at the start. Still clutching the briefcase close Mike nodded and sat like he'd been asked to before the drugs had given him away.
"I needed the money." It was a terribly cliché thing to say and yet it was the truth. "My friend has been after me to help him out with this for a while. I was just supposed to make a drop, hand off this suitcase for another one. And I'd get a cut of it when it was all said and done." Mike told him, he shook his head he still didn't know how he'd let himself get roped into this - he'd spent so many years saying no to Trevor only to end up here, he'd always been able to come up with the money to keep Grammy taken care of. He'd just never had to get his hands on twenty-five thousand dollars all at once before.
"It didn't quite work out like that," Obviously, Mike was feeling more than a little stupid sitting there trying to actually explain his actions - because they may have made sense at the time, but saying them aloud, trying to justify them just didn't work. And Mike had known that even as he'd accepted Trevor's offer, but he'd felt trapped between a rock and a hard place.
Lifting his sleeve Harvey checked the time, making sure that he had time to continue this little chat. "Have you got a habit?" Harvey asked as he examined the boy closely. It would be a shame if he was a junkie or had some kind of gambling problem but it was a surefire way to stop him giving a shit about his situation. "And what's your real name, I assume it isn't Rick."
Harvey stayed leaning against the desk, looking down at the kid. Now that Harvey really looked at him it was clear he wasn't like any of the other applicants and he should have noticed earlier.
"No, no - no I don't." Mike shook his head in a hurry, "I mean - I smoke, sometimes - not all the time, just with my friend sometimes." He told him. On the really good days, and on the really bad ones - but Mike didn't spend all his time high. Not like some people did, he needed to be able to think clearly most of the time if he was going to be able to take care of Grammy.
He did suppose he hadn't tried very hard to convince Mr. Specter's secretary that he was only trying to get away from the police, if he hadn't corrected her about his name. "Mike, Mike Ross, Michael." Nerves and fear made it hard for him to keep his answers short and simple, maybe the longer he was able to just talk the easier it would get, but Mike was still convinced he was going to be kicked out at any second and into the waiting arms of the police.
Harvey couldn't believe what a good kid he seemed to be, occasional pot smoking aside and good kids shouldn't have been walking around with briefcases full of enough pot to put them away for a very long time.
"Mike Ross," he repeated, giving a sigh as he looked down at him. Pushing off the desk he walked around to take his seat, looking across at the boy. "What are you doing almost getting yourself arrested? Tell me what happened, from the start." Harvey said as he leaned back in his chair. He was intrigued by more than just the blue eyes and he figured he'd earned a break with all the crap he'd had to listen to already that day.
From the start, that would require a very long explanation, Mike thought. "It's my gran," Mike told him, "I needed twenty-five thousand dollars to keep her out of a state-facility. She's all I have in the world; I couldn't let that happen to her." Mike couldn't quite look at Mr. Specter while he spoke about his Grammy and what had lead him up to this.
"I was nervous about all of this from the start, I mean I've read Freakonomics, but I -" He sighed, pushing a hand through his hair, "I noticed a few things on my way in, little details I guess." Mike shrugged. "Like the pool being closed and the room number for your interviews." And Mike launched into the tale of how he'd gone upstairs and found two men loitering in the hall, the small details he'd noticed about the pair of them the lack of gloves, the gun. "So I just asked them simple questions, I asked the bellhop about the pool - and he didn't know that it was closed, and I asked the other guy for the time." Mike shrugged, it had been simple enough at the time, fitting right into that story he'd read all those years ago.
"Once I saw the gun though I was pretty convinced, and I started running when I made it to the stairwell." Which eventually had lead him first to the interview waiting room and then right where he sat then explaining himself to the man who very likely held Mike's future in his hands.
Harvey was blown away by Mike's story, but the more he spoke the more impressed he became and he felt the shift between what had been a chance meeting with a drug dealer to what became a real interview. Mike managed to leave Harvey speechless with how much information he seemed to just know and Harvey felt like he'd found what he'd been looking for coming in to this.
Another him.
Or maybe even a 2.0.
Mike should have just gone to law school; he was wasted on the life he was living now. Though when Harvey learned why he'd been thrown out of college and how he'd been trying to get back ever since he could feel how genuine the kid was and it was that which was really winning him over.
But it was too risky and Harvey had been willing to walk away, even if he'd have liked to hire Mike it just wasn't worth the risk. But as he stared out over the room of remaining applicants it struck him that he didn't want any of them, not when he'd already found more than he'd imagined he would in this chance meeting with a would be drug dealer.
The longer he went on talking, when it stopped being just an explanation and instead became what felt like an interview, Mike thought maybe, just maybe he could actually have this life he'd always wanted, he could have this thing he was so sure had been taken from him after one stupid mistake. It was too much to hope for though, Mike knew that, but he made his case, tried to prove why he could do this job and that he would work harder than anyone to prove it.
"Alright, you're going to start a week from Monday and here's what you're going to do, first, no more pot, we drug test." Harvey said, running quickly over the rules - special rules just for Mike, hoping he wasn't going to end up regretting this decision. He continued on with the rules, focusing on how Mike was going to need a new wardrobe, eyes lingering on his suit which was most likely the cheapest one he'd ever seen.
Pushing back from his desk he stood up so that he and Mike could meet eye to eye. "Don't make me regret this, kid," he said, this was either going to be the biggest mistake of his entire life or the best thing he'd ever done.
"I won't, I promise you won't regret this." Mike could not believe this was happening, and he wasn't going to do anything to screw this up.
Instead his life became the rules Harvey Specter had laid out for him, a trip to Harvard, hiding that suitcase of pot (which, not technically following the rules was as best as Mike could do for the time being), no more smoking, and cutting Trevor out of his life.
This was the chance Mike had been waiting for ever since he'd made that one mistake that cost him everything. And Harvey had given him a chance to get it back, he had taken a chance on him and Mike was going to do everything he could to make sure that didn't end up being a mistake for either of them.
When Mike started at the firm there were the usual hiccups, but on the whole, Harvey was impressed. They didn't always get along perfectly but they made a good team, they complimented each other nicely and Harvey couldn't fault his decision to take a chance on the boy.
Except when he went and got high, but maybe that had been a little Harvey's fault too, which he'd admitted to himself. But unlike some people Harvey Specter could acknowledge his mistakes and do what he could to fix them
And it seemed like Mike could too - even prompting Harvey's praise as he went to confront Louis for what he'd done. Good boy. It had just came so naturally that night, rolled off the tongue in a low voice, as if he'd said something completely normal like Well Done or Good Work. But even as Harvey said it he knew he shouldn't have, that he couldn't go around saying things like that at work, to someone who worked for him.
But he couldn't help it.
It was late and Harvey was tired and the stack of papers in front of him needed his attention. He'd thought about taking them home but he'd decided it was easier to just finish what he'd started. Then Mike breezed through the office door with all the solutions spilling from his lips like the boy was the damn fountain of knowledge.
Harvey smiled, pushing the papers away and giving a slight nod. "Good boy," the words felt heavy in his mouth but his eyes were on the beautiful view from his office, like maybe not looking at him while he said it made it okay.
Mike couldn't help that swell of pleasure that rolled through him at those words, the nearly tangible feeling of pleasure at just two words. Working for Harvey was simultaneously the best and worst thing Mike had ever done in his life. It was getting to do this thing he'd always thought was so far out of his grasp, and at the same time seeing how woefully unprepared he was when his entire experience up to that point had been built by simply reading books.
He could read the books, and he could absorb all that information, but none of the books gave him real world knowledge. And every time he saw that look on Harvey's face that meant he'd messed up again, Mike couldn't stand it.
There had never been anyone else in his life that Mike had wanted to impress as much as he did with Harvey, and he wasn't entirely sure why either - it just happened that way. Harvey just seemed to bring it out in him.
"It just took a little creative thinking." Mike told Harvey, "Do you need anything else?" It was late and Mike probably could get away with going home, he was still getting used to these eighty hour work weeks, spending more time in the office than he did at his apartment, and yet he still asked if Harvey needed him - because that was his job, or so he told himself.
Harvey's lips thinned at that simple question about what he needed and he drummed his fingers lightly on the desk. Why did it feel like Mike Ross knew exactly what he needed? Harvey turned back to him, trying to dull his piercing gaze with a smile. "Coffee, not your job to get it for me, but it's something I need," he said as he glanced back down at what he was working on.
"You steal mine often enough it feels like it." Mike said with a wry grin, he watched Harvey for a moment longer before dropping his gaze just briefly. "I can grab you some on my way out, if you want." Mike shrugged; it would only be a few more minutes on his already too long day. He didn't need to push, it really wasn't his job to get Harvey coffee, even if his was stolen more often than not - but Harvey needed it and Mike felt like the taking care of the things Harvey needed was his job, even if it was fetching coffee.
"I like to think of it as borrowing," Harvey replied with a smirk, relaxing back in his chair. Mike was eager to please and Harvey wished he could just appreciate that in a professional way, but he couldn't help the way that it made him feel. Reaching into the inside pocket of his jacket he pulled out his wallet, holding a twenty between his fingers. "If you were to go get us both a coffee, well, I wouldn't hold it against you," he said as he held the note out to Mike.
"I think you might need to check your dictionary again," Mike said and then continued making his previous statement pointless as he defined the word from memory, "To borrow, to receive with the implied or expressed intention of returning the same or an equivalent." He smirked, just a little pleased with himself since this particular talent had seemed to be one that Harvey appreciated ever since that first meeting.
He nodded though when Harvey held out the bill to him suggesting he get coffee for the pair of them, he could do that. "Alright." Mike agreed, and soon was in one of the elevators on the way downstairs without a second thought, just happy to be able to do something more for Harvey before the end of the day.
While Mike was gone Harvey tried to get his head screwed back on straight. He shouldn't have been testing boundaries, not when they were there for an important reason. Harvey knew that just because he could get Mike to do what he asked didn't mean he should, no matter how much he enjoyed it.
At least coffee shops around this part of town seemed to understand about lawyers and their insane schedules and Mike was back up in Harvey's office two cups of coffee in hand not long after he'd left. Though rather than leave with his own cup for the night he decided to stay. "Are there any files I can get a head start on?" If he was going to be caffeinating himself he might as well have something to do.
Harvey took the coffee he was offered, glancing back up from what he was working on. "Go home, Mike. It's late," Harvey said simply, knowing it was best to send temptation home rather than tell him to sit and stay.
Pursing his lips Might fought a frown when Harvey told him to go home, there was probably something that needed to be done - this was Pearson Hardman there was always something that needed to be done after all, and yet Harvey was sending him home. He could have argued he supposed, could have reminded Harvey that he'd stayed later before - even spent the night once or twice, but in the end he just nodded. "Get some sleep, Harvey. I'll see you in the morning." Mike said, if Harvey wouldn't let him help he could at least do with a reminder that sleep was a necessary human function, even for people like Harvey Specter.
There was a reason Harvey hated pro bono cases. They made people stupid, they got their damn feelings involved and people got sloppy. Sure they were good for the firm and the image and the staving orphans and the universe and yadayadayada.
He still didn't like them. Being an Assistant DA had shown Harvey enough charity cases to last him a lifetime. But Mike always seemed to get so caught up in them and nothing short of a shaking seemed to get him to understand that getting involved didn't make him a better lawyer.
"Donna!" Harvey called, seeing the pile of folders he'd needed Mike to proof and send over to their clients still sitting untouched on his desk an hour after he'd told Mike about them. "Get me Mike," he said, gritting his teeth together as he stood before his windows, arms behind his back. "I don't care if you have to drag him here by his hair."
So maybe there were times when Mike got caught up in the cases they worked on, that wasn't necessarily a bad thing, when you actually heard about the shit people had to deal with in their lives it just made you want to help them that much more, or so Mike reasoned. He still didn't understand why keeping distance between himself and clients had to be so important. Wasn't the whole reason they did pro bono cases to help people?
Which was why he'd gotten so caught up in this particular case. The client reminding him just a little too much of Grammy for him to just maintain a wall between them, no matter what Harvey said.
He'd been digging around, taking some new angle he'd thought of one that he hoped might yield something helpful when Donna of all people found him in his cubicle. Mike's eyes went wide when she stood before him. "I am under strict instructions to bring you to Harvey by any means necessary." She told him, "So please do not make me use my considerable skills to take you down and then force me to drag you through the office." And with that she turned on her heel and left, clearly expecting Mike to follow.
Wide eyed, Mike got to his feet ignoring the sniggering of his fellow associates and followed Donna rushing to catch up with her, and then was summarily pushed into Harvey's office once they'd reached it.
"You wanted to see me?" He asked.
When Mike entered the office he'd managed to quell the rage, a little bit. At least now he wasn't in danger of setting his beloved baseballs on fire with the anger rolling off him. He didn't know why it made him so furious, it was only an hour and maybe it didn't matter that much. But Mike had taken something he'd asked him to do and just not done it.
Worse than that he'd placed his priorities over Harvey's, over the firm's and that was unacceptable.
Turning back he looked at Mike for a moment before he grabbed the files off the desk and threw them against the boy's chest. "What the hell are those?" Harvey asked his voice steely.
Fumbling to catch the files Harvey thrust at him and keep their contents intact, Mike eventually managed to straighten arms full of the offending files. And he knew, he knew what they were and he understood the reason Harvey threw them at him. "They look like files to me." He just couldn't help himself though, because it had only been an hour and while it might have taken any other associate several hours to get through them all it would take him less than half that time.
Harvey saw red, it was the only way to describe it and he took a few large steps closer until he was well into Mike's personal space. "And what are they doing on my desk? When I asked you, actually I'm pretty sure I told you that they needed to be taken care of right away," he was practically growling, his voice rumbling in his chest.
It was harder with Harvey so close to him to remain defiant, though Mike didn't let himself be cowed right away. He resisted that urge to step back and drop his eyes, though it was running hot through his veins while he stared at Harvey. "I needed to take care of something," Mike told him, "These won't take me long to get through." Mike didn't brag about his efficiency with the work he was given, but he was well aware that he could complete the work leaps and bounds faster than any of the other associates. It just meant he had a little extra time to work on things like this pro bono case.
Pursing his lips Harvey had to fight the urge to grab the back of Mike's neck and force his eyes down to the ground, or tell the boy to get right down on to his damn knees - the desire was just so damn visceral, especially with the way Mike was practically begging for it. "And what was so important that you ignored what I told you to do, what I needed to be done quickly," Harvey was still growling and Mike just seemed to want to make it worse for himself.
"Did you even talk to her?" Mike asked, defiant still. "Did you even talk to Mrs. Whithey? She needs our help and you're just-" Mike stopped holding the files in one arm against his chest while the other ended up gesturing vaguely, because he didn't know how to describe what Harvey was doing. Because it didn't look like this case was important to him, and Mike knew how Harvey felt about pro bono work, having had one foisted off on him all ready and he just wanted to help her. What was so wrong with that?
"No, that's what I have you for," Harvey said, gritting his teeth. "I didn't talk to her because I already know you'll win the damn case and there will be a hug and I'll continue to go on living the same life I did because quite frankly, I do not care," he said, pushing Mike lightly in the chest, over the files. "This is what I care about and when I say now? I mean right now. Not whenever the hell you feel like it."
Mike knew he was on dangerous ground, but he'd known that from the moment he'd stepped into Harvey's office. And for some reason he just could not stop himself from taking that extra step, and pushing where he knew it would be best to just keep his mouth shut. Particularly when so much of him was telling him to shut his mouth, to drop his eyes, to apologize, to make it better, all so Harvey would stop looking at him like that. "What is wrong with you?" Mike said only just keeping himself from actually swearing at Harvey. "Why is it so wrong to care about these people we're helping? Are you just completely incapable of human emotion? Please tell me because I need to know, Harvey." And suddenly Mike wondered just briefly if this was about Mrs. Whithey at all before the thought fled his mind just as quickly as it had appeared.
Harvey's hand came up almost without his permission, gripping the back of Mike's neck hard as he continued to challenge him, to argue. "Get out of my office; take those files to our client so that they get there in the time frame I gave my word that they would and if you ever challenge me in front of all these people again? I won't just fire you, I will ruin you." Harvey was disappointed in him and it was obvious from the tone of his voice to the look in his eyes as he stepped away from Mike and dropped his hand. Glancing out of his door Donna was giving him a strange look and a few people quickly looked away or hurried along like they hadn't paused to watch the show.
It was the disappointment more than the anger that made Mike finally shut up, something cold and hard settling in the pit of his stomach at that look Harvey gave him. He dropped his eyes and nodded - it wasn't even the threat of being fired that had him back peddling, seeing just how far he'd pushed and just where that had landed him now. Both arms around the files Mike turned and left without saying anything, ignoring anyone who may or may not have been watching them.
There was a trick to celebrating with clients and the trick was to make sure they thought you were drinking as much as they were and to actually drink less than half of that. Even still Harvey was feeling pretty happy as he called Ray to pick them up. It was late and it was a work night, but the deal they'd just closed had too many zeros not to enjoy themselves at least a little bit.
"How was the adults table, kid?" Harvey asked him as he stood in the fresh air outside the building, buttoning his jacket. Things had been tense for a while at the office, but as usual Mike was just too damn eager to please for Harvey to stay angry with him for long. They'd patched things up pretty seamlessly.
Mike was still reeling a little bit from getting to celebrate with the clients, well from the whole thing really - he still wasn't used to the high profile clients Pearson Hardman dealt with and that coupled with getting to be there that night like he was an actual part of the team and not just some grunt pushing papers all the time. It was pretty great.
Of course the alcohol didn't help matters either, he was smiling and bright eyed while he waited with Harvey at the end of the night. "That was - it was awesome. You do that all the time?" He asked, practically bouncing on the balls of his feet with excitement and eager to hear if this was the sort of thing he would get to look forward to in the future.
Harvey grinned at the look on Mike's face; he was just so innocent and well wishing. He felt like all the things that had once impressed him were now impressing Mike and it reminded him not to take it all for granted. "I certainly do, they do usually serve the best champagne," Harvey said, reaching out to straighten the lapel of Mike's jacket. "You did really good, kid," he added.
Mike stilled easily when Harvey's touched him, like that point of connection was enough of a tether to weigh him down where he'd felt a little like he might just come apart with all the sort of wonder and excitement that had been whirling through him after that night. "Thanks," He smiled, he didn't get praise like that often from Harvey, it was clear most of the time in the way Harvey looked at him or in something he said, but to actually be told he'd done good was something Mike loved to hear. "So, does this mean I get to sit at the adult table more often?" He asked, just a little hopeful.
The way that Mike seemed to practically shine from his praise made Harvey's stomach clench and he just wanted to tell him that he was a good boy, a good perfect boy. But Harvey only let those words slip out by accident when he couldn't help it. "Maybe you will," Harvey said quietly.
Maybe was more than Mike had expected to get, and he just grinned happily, tonight was a good night - the sort of night he needed honestly. Where he could see the good parts of all of this, see Harvey enjoying himself too outside of the office, that this was more than just paperwork and big plans that Mike still couldn't always figure out.
Ray pulled up with the car and Harvey walked slowly towards it, beckoning Mike to follow with a tilt of his head. They slid into the car and Harvey reminded Ray of Mike's address before he sat back, fingers drumming on his thigh as he looked out the window.
Sitting beside Harvey in the car, Mike couldn't help the way his leg bounced, that nervous excited energy still working its way through him. He'd end up staying up late despite the hour no doubt, until this worked its way out of his system. "Thanks for letting me come tonight, Harvey." Mike said after several quiet moments, unable to just sit in the quiet, needing something to fill it.
When Mike said those words, Thanks for letting me come, Harvey's nostrils flared and he inhaled sharply, slowly turning to look at the other man. "You're vibrating," Harvey said with a dark chuckle, resting his hand on his shoulder to hopefully still the movement. "Stop," he said quietly, firmly, in that deep voice he usually reserved for a much more casual environment.
Mike was suddenly much more aware of what he'd been doing than he was before Harvey pointed it out, but when Harvey settled a hand on his shoulder and told him to stop the reaction was almost instant. Mike felt it all just melt out of him and that need to keep moving evaporated, like Harvey could just draw it out with a single touch. "Sorry," He said ducking his head and giving Harvey a wry grin. "I'm not really used to things like that, I guess. Maybe the novelty will have worn off next time."
The way Mike just followed his command, instantly, like it was the most natural thing in the world made his heart start to pound in his ears. "It's okay," Harvey said, reaching his hand out in a way that was originally intended to ruffle Mike's hair but it was soft instead, stroking the boy's hair gently. "I used to get excited about things like that, too." Harvey assured him, stroking his thumb firmly over his temple.
He just wanted to say it, needed to say it and he couldn't. But regardless it still felt like the words Good boy echoed through the car.
Mike didn't really mean to, but when Harvey stroked his hair he closed his eyes and leaned into it, just slightly, before he straightened up again. "You did not." Mike chuckled, disbelieving when Harvey said he'd had a similar reaction. "I can't see you being any different than you are now." He admitted - it was a silly thought, but Mike couldn't seem to find a way to imagine Harvey as anything less than the man he was today.
He liked this though, sitting beside Harvey with the calming motion of the car moving them, and Harvey's hand in his hair. It just felt right.
There was always a tension between the two, but Harvey felt like it was totally out of control here in the confines of the spacious back seat. "Can't you? You can only see me as your boss? Exactly like I am now?" Harvey asked, maybe testing the waters a little bit. He'd made Mike lean into him once and he wanted to try that again, his thumb moving down to the base of his skull, pressing a little harder.
"That's not what I meant." Mike said slowly, sighing quietly at the feeling of Harvey's thumb pressing into his skin, making him press toward that touch. "I just meant," Mike stopped to lick his lips, trying to sort out his thoughts, which were suddenly fuzzy around the edges. "I meant, put together, your three piece suits, like you can take on the world all the time." He told him. "I thought that when we met that day, you know after I got over the very real possibility of a heart attack." Mike huffed a short laugh at the memory, that day seeming so far away now while he sat there beside Harvey.
Harvey's nostrils flared again as Mike licked his lips and it just made him want for everything he was never going to allow himself to have. He chuckled softly when Mike laughed, nodding his head. "And you wonder why I wear such nice suits," Harvey said, turning in his seat and slowly pulling his hand away from Mike's scalp, mainly to see the reaction.
Mike found himself subconsciously following Harvey's hand when he pulled away, frowning slightly before he righted himself. "To scare everyone into submission?" Mike guessed with a grin. "I think you just like them too much to wear anything else." He liked Harvey's suits, maybe they were a bit much for him, but Harvey was the sort of man who could pull that off. Mike still preferred his own style of suits, but thinking about Harvey in anything else just didn't fit in his mind.
He felt like his fingers were twitching at the absence of the warmth beneath, but the amount that he wanted to touch him surely meant he shouldn't let himself. "Do you think I need a suit to make someone submit to me, Mike?" He asked, his eyes locked on the other man's face. "I do like them though, they suit me," Harvey said as he licked his lips.
Mike opened his mouth to reply and immediately closed it again, not entirely sure how to respond to that. Maybe it was because the answer came so easily, or maybe Mike was only just catching on that maybe they weren't just talking about suits and law. "No, I don't think you need a suit for that." He said finally, slowly, unable to look anywhere but at Harvey, following the path of his tongue when he licked his lips. "Nice pun," Mike smirked, attempting to recover as much as he possibly could - maybe he'd had a little too much to drink that night. "They do though, suit you I mean."
The tension in the car was just escalating and Harvey knew they were starting to play a game they could never come back from. "You're right, I don't," he said, feeling like the looks they were giving each other actually contained heat now. "I'm very clever," he agreed with a wink. "They only have power because people think they do. That real power comes from the person, a suit might make a man look good, but they don't make a man."
Mike was sure there was very little Harvey actually needed a suit for, beyond the obvious reasons of course, but he was sure the man sitting beside him would still be the same force Mike knew him to be even out of a suit. "And very modest too." Mike grinned though, because Harvey was very clever, he'd have to be to be as good as he was. "A suit helps though, just a little." He was starting to feel restless again, needing some sort of outlet for the tension that almost made him feel like he was drowning. Mike let his fingers starting to drum against his thigh again while he considered the point Harvey was making.
"A suit helps," Harvey agreed, glancing down at himself. He watched the boy's fingers starting to fidget again and felt like if this was a different situation Mike would take a lot of training, but it would be a pleasure to be the one to do it. "I said stop," Harvey said, taking Mike's hand and pinning it behind his back, moving in so his lips were right up against his ear. "And I won't tell you again, boy." He said.
There had been something Mike was going to say, he was sure of it - it had been on the tip of his tongue, but then Harvey had reminded him that he'd been told to stop, and his hand was twisted pulled behind his back and Mike couldn't think of anything else but Harvey's breath hot against his ear. He whined, high in the back of his throat and nodded, a sharp jerk of his head in response. Not trusting himself to actually speak, Mike swallowed, licking his lips again and tipping his head back just slightly.
Mike tipped his head back and Harvey hummed happily in approval. "Such a good boy," he whispered, unable to contain it a moment longer. Because Mike without any prompting or real knowledge of what was happening was already just so good that it hurt in its perfection.
Mike had only thought Harvey's earlier praise had been nice, because that quiet voice in his ear telling him that he was a good boy now was better than anything else he'd been told that night. He didn't let himself think about it often, that need to be good for Harvey - it was all just wrapped up in that need to make sure Harvey never regretted giving him this chance, if Harvey thought he was good then it was just proof that he'd made the right decision. But this curl of warmth that had settled inside of him was so much more than that and Mike wasn't even sure how to address it.
But that was the point. Mike didn't know what was happening and that just wasn't fair. He couldn't do this. Gently releasing Mike's hand he stroked his shoulder slowly, not wanting Mike to even subconsciously think he'd done something wrong. Clearing his throat he nodded towards the window. "Almost at your stop, Mike."
He was pulled from his thoughts though when Harvey cleared his throat, breaking the sort of spell Mike had found himself under. He glanced out the window and nodded, what had been only blurs of windows and lights before was now familiar sights as they neared his apartment building. "Harvey-" Mike started and stopped, not sure what he should say, if there was anything to say at all.
Harvey had crossed the line. He was usually proud of crossing lines but this one, it could hurt Mike too much, it could hurt him too and Harvey Specter never let himself get into the position of being hurt. His name, said so unsure made every reflex in him want to reassure him, need to reassure him. It was his job to look after him and leaving him like this seemed so wrong. "Mike, it's okay, rookie. I promise, everything is okay," he assured him, fingers gently moving up and down his spine.
Mike exhaled slowly, just let himself focus on the feeling of Harvey's fingers touching him, the soothing repetition of the up and down motion Harvey used then. He nodded eventually, he still didn't know what had happened, how they'd ended up right here, things blurring together in his mind when he tried to piece it out and make sense of it.
All he really knew was Harvey touching him. "Okay," He said finally nodding again, like if he repeated it enough it would make that the truth.
The car slowed and pulled up outside Mike's building, Harvey stroking his hand over the boy's lower back. "Time to go, kid," he said quietly, leaning across Mike to open the door for him. "I'll see you at work tomorrow; we've got lots to do."
Harvey felt like he was panicking, but he had a well-practiced mask to cover that.
Harvey was just so close tonight, Mike was almost glad they had made it to his apartment, because he wasn't sure how he was supposed to stand that much longer, not if he was supposed to stay still like Harvey had told him to. "Yeah," He licked his lips and nodded. "I'll ah, see you tomorrow." He agreed watching Harvey's face for a moment before he let himself move toward the open door and then getting out.
"Thanks for tonight, Harvey." Mike said quietly, leaning back in for just a moment, though exactly which part of the night he was thankful for even Mike wasn't entirely certain, and with that he closed the door and headed upstairs.
When Mike shut the door Harvey put his head in his hands, the car pulling away and making him want to leap out the door. Squeezing his temples he realized that his hands were shaking.
This was so, so bad.
After what had happened in the back of his car, Harvey had known he'd have to talk to Mike about what was going on. It wasn't fair on either of them, but not only that it also wasn't safe for Mike to rely so much on Harvey and not even realize it.
But knowing he had to do something and doing it were two very different things. So Harvey put it off for a few days, until the tension had got to a totally ridiculous level and he knew he couldn't wait anymore. This was not a conversation to have at the office and he didn't want to command Mike come home with him, because that was just- yeah it was best he didn't get Mike into his home, no matter how nice that thought suddenly was - especially given how nice that thought suddenly was.
So Harvey called the office to make sure Mike was gone before he dialed in Mike's number and telling him he'd be at his apartment in twenty minutes for a talk. So at least now when he knocked at Mike's door, he was expected. He'd even changed into more casual clothing in the hopes of being less intimidating and more approachable, although he doubted it would do any good.
Mike might not have known exactly what was going on between him and Harvey, but he wasn't completely clueless. He felt the tension and some underlying need in all of his interactions with Harvey, though how exactly to define all of that Mike wasn't sure. He'd searched through his memory banks looking for the right word, idea, theory and come up blank again and again. Though at the end of the day a large part of him didn't feel like it mattered that he couldn't name it - not when it all felt so good.
However, when Harvey called to tell him he was coming over, to his apartment, Mike's heart jumped up into his throat. He spent the better part of those twenty minutes stuffing pizza boxes into his oven and shoving dirty clothes under his bed and stacking up piles of paper into what he hoped looked like organized stacks rather than just haphazard piles.
And despite all of that Mike felt no more prepared to have Harvey in his home than he would have if he hadn't done anything. Still when Harvey knocked Mike opened the door and let him in, heart racing all ready.
"Do you want anything?" Though what did Mike really have to offer? A few bottles of cheap wine (thank god he was just a little classier than boxed wine - this week) and some water, but he felt like he should offer all the same. It was part of being a good host, some part of his brain supplied, and not really about making sure that Harvey had what he needed.
When Mike asked Harvey if he wanted anything he straightened up a little, nostrils flaring at the idea. How could one person be so accommodating without even realize what was happening between them. Mike was so naturally submissive that it drove Harvey just a little bit crazy when he said things like that. "Water would be great," Harvey said, gently closing the door behind him.
Stepping into Mike's space Harvey did his best to keep his feelings about it off his face. At least while it wasn't very nice at least it was clean and didn't smell quite as bad as it looked like it might.
"Yeah, okay." Mike nodded, standing there with Harvey for just a minute. With Harvey so close, in his home, in the one place that Mike had for himself he wasn't sure how to respond. This was the one place Mike let himself relax and yet with Harvey there he felt on edge. It took him several moments, before he could make himself move.
He fled to the kitchen, ducking out of Harvey's line of sight so he could at least pretend like having Harvey in his home didn't make it impossible for him to think straight. Mike pulled two bottles of water from the fridge and steadied himself at the counter for just a moment before he turned around. "I didn't really expect you to be here … ever." He said offering Harvey one of the bottles.
There was that tension again, delicious and thick, hanging between them in a way that made Harvey swear he could taste it in the air. He had to smile when Mike practically ran from him though, stepping into the space and walking in a slow circle around the room while Mike got them a drink.
"I need to talk to you about something," Harvey said carefully, turning back to look at Mike and take the water he was offered. "Sit down," he said firmly, indicating the end of the couch.
Mike thought maybe he was supposed to be the one who offered seating in his own home, but that thought was secondary in his mind as he dropped down where Harvey indicated. "Okay," He said slowly, running through his mind trying to find what it was Harvey needed to talk to him about that would bring him to his home. "You're not here to fire me are you?"
Harvey stood over him for a moment before taking a seat on the coffee table across from him, close enough so their knees almost touched. "No, this isn't about work, or your job. Everything there is fine and you have nothing to worry about," Harvey soothed him quietly. "Well nothing to worry about so long as you keep up the good work that is," he teased with a little smile, hoping to lessen some of the tension.
The relief that he wasn't about to lose his job was almost visible as it worked through Mike. "I will." He nodded, he'd already seen what happened when he messed up - and he knew how that felt and he wasn't in a hurry to do that again, he wanted to do good work. "So, if it's not about work, then what?" Mike was almost scared to ask, but he did because he wasn't sure he could just wait for it, whatever it might be.
"Calm down, it's okay," Harvey assured him, placing his hand gently on Mike's knee because he could feel the fear in Mike and that was the last thing he wanted. "I want to talk to you about something and it might sound a little crazy but I do have a point," Harvey paused to open his water and take a sip, putting the bottle down on the table beside him. "Tell me what you know about dominants and submissives," Harvey said, thumb pressing softly into Mike's knee to encourage him to answer.
Mike breathed out slowly, focusing on Harvey's hand on his knee - the warmth of Harvey through his clothes. And after a moment he felt better, he could look up at Harvey and feel like it wasn't the end of the world just waiting for him. He nodded waiting for whatever crazy thing it was Harvey was going to tell him, not sure what exactly it would be. "Ah-" Mike opened his mouth to reply but stopped closing his mouth just as quickly as he'd started.
He thought about the question, thinking about the definitions that came to mind - music, genetics, ecology but thinking about it in this context, none of it seemed to make any sense here. "I don't know, all I've got is definitions - a dominant individual in a social hierarchy, someone who submits to others. I mean," Mike shook his head trailing off, just a little hesitant before he continued, "and really bad porn, but … yeah." Mike ignored the small part of his brain that was screaming that he'd just admitted to Harvey that he watched really bad porn.
Harvey laughed and gave a little nod as he stroked his thumb back and forth over Mike's knee. "Funnily enough, you're most right with the bad porn theory," he said, running his hand restlessly and uncharacteristically through his hair, feeling like this situation was stressful for him too. "Okay, first off, we'll call them Doms and subs for short, okay. Now a lot of people see BDSM as something overtly sexual and it is, or it can be, but it's not just about that. A Dom may be aroused by the control he has over a sub, but it's that control he craves. Where as someone who is a sub might crave to be told what to do, how to sit, when they're good, when they're bad and they might be aroused by this but they also get a feeling of just... overall wellbeing, I've heard it described as like being high," Harvey explained, keeping his voice low and level as he looked into Mike's eyes.
Mike really tried to follow Harvey's explanation, but he wasn't really able to piece together why exactly this was something they needed to talk about. Doms and subs and BDSM (his mind fleshing out the acronym for him). He followed the words, understood the meaning of them all and the sort of ideas they conveyed but he didn't understand why. Not until Harvey started to tell him what a sub might crave. The feeling of familiarity in those words - his mind working to connect the dots he hadn't seen before.
"Oh, I - oh." Mike stopped himself unsure of what he should even say. "Okay so a Dom craves control and a sub craves - those things." He finished dumbly, "Right, okay, got it." He nodded, not really looking at Harvey anymore, instead focusing on Harvey's hand on his knee. Feeling like it was the safer focal point at the moment.
At least Mike was taking the news better than he'd hoped, not laughing it off and putting a whole room between them like Harvey had thought he might. At least he seemed open to talking and that was the first step in sorting out this mess.
"Yes and no, a Dom craves control, yes, but most Doms, a Dom like me," he paused to grip Mike's knee a little tighter, trying to bring his eyes back to his face. "Crave control given freely, by someone who wants to please them. Everyone is different and some people like pain and over people like servitude, but the thing I'm trying to tell you is that what we're doing isn't as innocent as you think it is and it feels very wrong for us to be involved like this when you don't even know what you're doing and because of our situation."
Mike understood what that hand on his knee was asking for, and he lifted his face watching Harvey while he spoke, making it impossible for Mike to even pretend that he didn't know this conversation was about them. That if Harvey was the Dom here then that made him the sub and those things he did - all of those times he'd just wanted Harvey to acknowledge him, to see that he was doing good work, to take care of the things Harvey needed, they were somehow a part of this. "So what are we doing, Harvey? Because I don't understand."
Harvey wanted to thread his fingers through Mike's hair and Harvey always got what he wanted, except now, with this, he had to do what was best. "Being a sub doesn't make someone weak," he said, because he had to reassure him before he put an end to it. "Not even a little bit. Being a sub is something to be proud of, that you know what you want and you're not afraid to have it." But this wasn't about reassuring Mike about what he might very well be. This was about them. "I know you don't which is why this is going to have to stop. The touching, the sending you to do things for me, asking things of you, telling you what to do, all of that is going to have to stop. I can't be telling my Associate what a good, beautiful, perfect boy he is, you know that." Harvey paused, sitting back a bit and putting his hand back on his knee.
Mike wasn't even ready to start thinking about what it meant to be a sub, if that was what he was supposed to be here. He couldn't not when Harvey was saying this had to stop. "Isn't that my job?" Mike asked slowly. "Doing things for you, you telling me what to do?" Mike asked, ignoring that sudden drop in the pit of his stomach, when Mike let himself think about how much he'd liked when Harvey had called him a good boy, the way it settled something inside of him he'd never known was restless until then. "Why can't you do that?"
Everything was a little bit easier with Mike being as smart as he was, it's why Harvey had hired him in the first place. "It is but it isn't, I know when I'm crossing the line and I'm going to stop. I just didn't want you to think it was because of something you said or did." Harvey said, sitting back a bit to put more space between them. "Why can't I what? Tell you that you're a good boy?" Harvey asked, eyebrows arching as his gaze snapped back to Mike's eyes from where he'd been glancing around his place.
"It is." Mike agreed because if Harvey suddenly stopped telling him what to do Mike was pretty sure he wouldn't have a job anymore, either that or Louis would take his place and that thought was not a pleasant one at all. But none of that was important when Harvey looked at him again, it made him want to drop his gaze all over again, but he didn't let himself. "Yes, that. Why can't you do that?" Mike asked. "If it's something you want, and it's something I want, why can't you?"
Harvey really wanted to give in to those sweet blue eyes, give in to the assurance that it was what Mike wanted too. But that was weak and he needed to be strong. "For so many reasons, Mike. Because the relationship between a Dom and sub is even more serious than a sexual relationship and when it ends it can be messy. Because you work for me and I don't want it to be obvious what's between us." Harvey paused, placing his fingertip under Mike's chin and bringing his head up high. "But mainly because it won't just end there, it will escalate and I don't think you fully understand what you're asking for."
"Nothing - nothing has even started and you're thinking about messy endings?" Mike couldn't stop himself, couldn't keep his frustration to himself at all of this. It was all new and Mike was still trying to sort out what he thought about it, but Harvey was cutting him off before he could even find a stopping point himself. "Harvey -" Mike started and stopped. "This - all of this, you can't just tell me about it and then say that's it." Mike only just managed to stop himself from saying it wasn't fair - it wasn't but saying that, actually saying it felt like it would only prove Harvey's point.
Harvey had been careful his entire life to avoid messes. Messy relationships, messy houses, messy people, but everything with Mike had kind of been a mess from the start and it was just getting worse. "I'm thinking about the firm. I'm thinking about my future, your future and how this could affect both of those things," Harvey said, keeping his finger under Mike's chin. "I'm telling you about this so that you understand, because you deserve to know," he sighed, lips pursing as he looked into Mike's eyes. "I can't be your boss, your friend and your Dom, not when you have no idea what you'd be getting yourself in to."
He shouldn't have been surprised really, how many times had Harvey told that what he cared about most was himself? Often enough that Mike should have known better. "Right, of course you are." Mike nodded, the firm and Harvey's future, and last Mike's - and how this might mess up the future Harvey wanted for himself at the firm. "So tell me." Mike said, he shouldn't press, not when Harvey had made it clear that they couldn't but Mike couldn't help himself. "Tell me what I'm getting myself into, Harvey, please."
His jaw clenched when Mike asked like that, pleaded with him to tell him and the words sliced through him like a hot blade. Harvey wanted to, he really did, tell him how he would train him and keep him, use him and have him in every way imaginable but that wasn't going to make getting out of this any easier. "I can't, Mike," he said quietly, shaking his head. "It's so complicated and being a sub, if you decide that's what you are, is something you need to come to on your own, not because I tell you that's what you are."
It was just so damn frustrating, to have Harvey there, telling him just enough to make sense and yet not enough for him to understand it. Part of him wanted to argue, to continue to press - find where it hurt for Harvey, just like he'd been taught. Mike couldn't though, not with that tone Harvey used, not with that look in his eyes. "So what now?" Mike asked quietly. "You're just going to leave and we forget that we had this conversation and you stop telling me what to do at the office?"
This was the hardest thing Harvey had ever had to do, to fight his own instinct and everything that he wanted to do what he really did think was the right thing. Harvey let his finger slip from under Mike's chin, clasping his hands together so he wouldn't touch him again. "Now I'm going to go home and I'm going to see you at work tomorrow and everything is going to go back to normal. I'm still going to tell you what to do, but just not how I might have been recently." Looking into Mike's eyes he gave a sad little smile as he shook his head slowly from side to side. "There are a lot of good Doms out there and every single one of them would be lucky to call you theirs," he said quietly, sadly as he stood up.
Mike wanted to lean toward Harvey when he pulled his hand away again, wanted Harvey touching him again. But he stayed where he was for a moment, and then leaned back putting space between them because he wasn't sure he'd be able to keep himself from reaching out if he didn't. He dropped his eyes to his hands this time, utterly fascinated with the way his jeans felt beneath his fingers. "Yeah, alright." Mike nodded without looking up at Harvey when he stood.
"I guess, I'll see you tomorrow." He sighed, closing his eyes and pressing his face into his hands. He was going to be fine. He'd been fine before this conversation and he'd be fine after. He just needed a little time.
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Master Post