fic: where do we go now: puck/kurt
Title: Where Do We Go Now (1/1)
Series: Music Is What Feelings Sound Like
Pairing: Puck/Kurt (beginning of, anyway)
Rating: PG
Fandom: Glee
Summary: Secrets come out.
Disclaimer: Very much not mine, sadly.
Notes: Hi! Sorry! I'm still here! I've been working on this in my head for a while and hadn't gotten to it, but here you go! The song here is Sweet Child O' Mine by Guns N' Roses, which is one of my favorite songs ever.
Past stories in this series: A Funny Thing Happened on the Way Home | Giving off Sparks | Love is Friendship Set on Fire | Hard Habit to Break | Worn Out Faces
Things finally settled down with Puck. Kurt watched him for about three more weeks, staying out of his way. He could tell that the other football player was calming down though; every once in a while, Kurt would be at his locker and look over to see Puck leaning against the locker next to him, shoulders against the metal. In these moments, he would let Puck talk, having learned really quick that there was something on his mind that he had to get out.
Kurt still nursed his crush on Puck - he wasn't sure that would ever go away - but he was resigned to the fact that nothing would ever come of it. But then Kurt never really thought anything would anyway.
"Hey, Hummel," Puck said out of the blue one Friday afternoon, propping himself against the lockers. Kurt noticed that Puck tended to sprawl on anything and everything that would stand still long enough for him to sprawl. While Kurt felt he could appreciate that better than anyone else in the school (Kurt really thought the girls he went to school with were idiots for not taking the time to look past Puck's hard exterior. He didn't mind though; if that made him the only person that could sort of understand him, then that was okay), he hated it some days. Puck sprawling was such a distraction.
Glancing over, Kurt shut his locker door. "Puck."
Puck turned his head, focused on Kurt, and Kurt frowned slightly. There was a depth there, something that Kurt had never noticed before. It was almost sorrow, but that was gone as quickly as it bled through. Suddenly, Kurt knew there was far, far more to this football player than anyone knew. "You wanna come over after school today? Mom's out of town and my baby sister is staying with her friends for some slumber party or something."
Kurt... wasn't sure what to think about that. Puck had never invited him over to his house. He had invited Puck over in passing a few times, but nothing ever came of it. Kurt's inner kid that was used to being teased constantly curled up in fear, terrified of what awaited him at Puck's house - when he had been teased constantly, the popular kids did some pretty horrible things to Kurt, but they had never physically harmed him. There was always a first for everything, though.
Did Puck know? Had he figured out how Kurt felt? Was this the moment that Kurt always dreaded, getting beat up (or worse) for being gay?
Kurt was braver than that though; something glee taught him was to stand up for yourself. For the most part, he felt that Puck wouldn't hurt him, and he wouldn't let the slight fear that he was wrong keep him from going somewhere he really wanted to go. "Yeah, that's fine. Should I bring anything?"
Shrugging, Puck pushed himself off of the lockers with his shoulders. "Just bring your CDs, we'll listen to some music or something." Puck didn't smile as he walked off, but then he rarely did anymore.
~*~
There was a note taped to Puck's door. Kurt recognized Puck's chicken scratch. Come on in, I'm downstairs.
Kurt's heart was pounding as he pushed the door open. There was nothing at first, no sound at all, but then a guitar started. It was coming from downstairs. Kurt shut the door behind him, then followed the music downstairs. He recognized the music; even though the song was older than him, he knew 'Sweet Child O' Mine' by Guns N' Roses anywhere. He had heard his dad playing it growing up, and occasionally, after his mother died, he would sing it to a young Kurt.
Granted, his father couldn't carry a tune, but the little boy in Kurt that wanted to please his father couldn't help but beam in pride when he heard this song.
Nodding his head in tune with the music, Kurt sang along as he made his way the stairs. He knew that people would be shocked if they found out he knew this song, but that was even more of a reason to like it. Every once in a while, Kurt ached to break out and be unexpected.
He stopped at the bottom of the stairs, losing his breath at the sight laid out before him. Puck was pacing the basement, guitar strapped to him, eyes closed. He was singing along and playing, more lost in the music than Kurt had ever seen him. Suddenly, he faltered; Kurt didn't know if he was supposed to see this. He wanted to turn, wanted to leave Puck alone in this place that he was, wanted to not watch the way it seemed Puck was breaking down before him. The song picked up and Puck started playing harder; Kurt could hear Puck singing over Axl Rose.
He started to turn, then dark eyes (were they wet, too?) opened and pinned Kurt there in his spot. They stood there for a long moment, locked in that position - Kurt against the door with what he was sure was a deer in the headlights look and Puck panting and gripping his guitar. Puck shook his head slightly, broke the moment as he crossed the basement to turn off the song.
"Hummel," he said. His voice was thick and Kurt's heart ached. He had no idea what was going on with Puck, but it was almost as if he were looking at an open wound with the way the other boy's misery bled from him in waves.
Kurt didn't realize that his feet were moving him toward Puck until he was standing there in front of him. Puck's hands clenched, then loosened, before he pushed the guitar around so it was sitting against his back. In a move that surprised Kurt, he reached out and pulled Kurt to him, pressing his face against Kurt's neck.
Frozen for a long moment, Kurt had no idea what to do. He couldn't even comprehend the fact that Noah Puckerman was clutching him like a life preserver, as if he were the only thing that could keep him afloat. Even more mind blowing, Kurt swore that he felt wet warmth on neck. Was Puck crying?
Instinct kicked in at that point, and Kurt maneuvered his arms around the guitar, wrapping around Puck. He rubbed the back of Puck's neck, making soothing noises to try and calm the other boy down. He had never known his mother and had never felt this from her, but there were plenty of times that he'd been swallowed in a hug from Mercedes or Tina, and he knew the cooing sounds were often a great comfort.
Puck finally pulled away, clearing his throat. He was a raw nerve, and Kurt didn't say anything, scared of ruining this fragile moment. He knew it wouldn't take much to make Puck withdraw. Instead, he just watched the other boy with his own wet eyes, his heart bleeding for Puck. "Let's sit down," Puck said, his voice thick with emotion.
They moved to the couch and Kurt sat down while Puck put his guitar away. He was surprised when Puck joined him on the couch; their thighs were touching. With a jolt, Kurt realized that Puck wanted to touch him. "Puck," Kurt said gently, still scared to say anything, still scared that if Puck came to his senses and realized what was going on, he would kick Kurt out of his house, and possibly his life.
"The baby is mine," Puck blurted out.
Kurt blinked, tilting his head. He had no idea what Puck was talking about. "The baby is--" He trailed off as realization gave him a swift punch to the gut. His voice was a whisper when he spoke again, "the baby is yours."
Suddenly, it made sense. Everything did. The way Puck watched Quinn (Kurt watched Puck enough to know that Puck watched her), the way he grew further and further from his two best friends, the way he was breaking down and telling Kurt this. It must have weighed heavily on Puck, Kurt thought, and he couldn't even talk to the mother or his best friend about it. "The baby is mine," Puck repeated. "And Finn doesn't even know. Finn doesn't know, Quinn doesn't want to keep the baby, and I want to do right by my child, and I can't." As he spoke, his voice grew smaller and smaller.
Kurt swallowed hard. He didn't know how to fix this; this wasn't something that any amount of fabulousness could make go away. He could; however, be there for Puck. He could let Puck vent to him and break down when he needed to - he could take Puck's secret to the grave. He decided to be honest with Puck. "I can't make it better, Noah," Kurt said. He rarely used Puck's given name; this was one of the moments in seriousness that he did. "But I can promise you I'll be here for you when you need me."
Puck looked up, met Kurt's eyes, held them for a long moment. His eyes seemed to clear a bit and while Kurt still saw the sorrow there, it didn't seem quite so consuming. Smiling faintly, Puck nodded. "Somehow, I had a feeling I could count on you, Kurt," he said quietly. "Thank you." Kurt was jolted with electricity when Puck's hand brushed against his, but fortunately, he didn't show it. "Come on, let's see what kind of music you brought over."
Kurt knew their moment was over, but that this was only the beginning.
.end.
Series: Music Is What Feelings Sound Like
Pairing: Puck/Kurt (beginning of, anyway)
Rating: PG
Fandom: Glee
Summary: Secrets come out.
Disclaimer: Very much not mine, sadly.
Notes: Hi! Sorry! I'm still here! I've been working on this in my head for a while and hadn't gotten to it, but here you go! The song here is Sweet Child O' Mine by Guns N' Roses, which is one of my favorite songs ever.
Past stories in this series: A Funny Thing Happened on the Way Home | Giving off Sparks | Love is Friendship Set on Fire | Hard Habit to Break | Worn Out Faces
Things finally settled down with Puck. Kurt watched him for about three more weeks, staying out of his way. He could tell that the other football player was calming down though; every once in a while, Kurt would be at his locker and look over to see Puck leaning against the locker next to him, shoulders against the metal. In these moments, he would let Puck talk, having learned really quick that there was something on his mind that he had to get out.
Kurt still nursed his crush on Puck - he wasn't sure that would ever go away - but he was resigned to the fact that nothing would ever come of it. But then Kurt never really thought anything would anyway.
"Hey, Hummel," Puck said out of the blue one Friday afternoon, propping himself against the lockers. Kurt noticed that Puck tended to sprawl on anything and everything that would stand still long enough for him to sprawl. While Kurt felt he could appreciate that better than anyone else in the school (Kurt really thought the girls he went to school with were idiots for not taking the time to look past Puck's hard exterior. He didn't mind though; if that made him the only person that could sort of understand him, then that was okay), he hated it some days. Puck sprawling was such a distraction.
Glancing over, Kurt shut his locker door. "Puck."
Puck turned his head, focused on Kurt, and Kurt frowned slightly. There was a depth there, something that Kurt had never noticed before. It was almost sorrow, but that was gone as quickly as it bled through. Suddenly, Kurt knew there was far, far more to this football player than anyone knew. "You wanna come over after school today? Mom's out of town and my baby sister is staying with her friends for some slumber party or something."
Kurt... wasn't sure what to think about that. Puck had never invited him over to his house. He had invited Puck over in passing a few times, but nothing ever came of it. Kurt's inner kid that was used to being teased constantly curled up in fear, terrified of what awaited him at Puck's house - when he had been teased constantly, the popular kids did some pretty horrible things to Kurt, but they had never physically harmed him. There was always a first for everything, though.
Did Puck know? Had he figured out how Kurt felt? Was this the moment that Kurt always dreaded, getting beat up (or worse) for being gay?
Kurt was braver than that though; something glee taught him was to stand up for yourself. For the most part, he felt that Puck wouldn't hurt him, and he wouldn't let the slight fear that he was wrong keep him from going somewhere he really wanted to go. "Yeah, that's fine. Should I bring anything?"
Shrugging, Puck pushed himself off of the lockers with his shoulders. "Just bring your CDs, we'll listen to some music or something." Puck didn't smile as he walked off, but then he rarely did anymore.
~*~
There was a note taped to Puck's door. Kurt recognized Puck's chicken scratch. Come on in, I'm downstairs.
Kurt's heart was pounding as he pushed the door open. There was nothing at first, no sound at all, but then a guitar started. It was coming from downstairs. Kurt shut the door behind him, then followed the music downstairs. He recognized the music; even though the song was older than him, he knew 'Sweet Child O' Mine' by Guns N' Roses anywhere. He had heard his dad playing it growing up, and occasionally, after his mother died, he would sing it to a young Kurt.
Granted, his father couldn't carry a tune, but the little boy in Kurt that wanted to please his father couldn't help but beam in pride when he heard this song.
Nodding his head in tune with the music, Kurt sang along as he made his way the stairs. He knew that people would be shocked if they found out he knew this song, but that was even more of a reason to like it. Every once in a while, Kurt ached to break out and be unexpected.
He stopped at the bottom of the stairs, losing his breath at the sight laid out before him. Puck was pacing the basement, guitar strapped to him, eyes closed. He was singing along and playing, more lost in the music than Kurt had ever seen him. Suddenly, he faltered; Kurt didn't know if he was supposed to see this. He wanted to turn, wanted to leave Puck alone in this place that he was, wanted to not watch the way it seemed Puck was breaking down before him. The song picked up and Puck started playing harder; Kurt could hear Puck singing over Axl Rose.
He started to turn, then dark eyes (were they wet, too?) opened and pinned Kurt there in his spot. They stood there for a long moment, locked in that position - Kurt against the door with what he was sure was a deer in the headlights look and Puck panting and gripping his guitar. Puck shook his head slightly, broke the moment as he crossed the basement to turn off the song.
"Hummel," he said. His voice was thick and Kurt's heart ached. He had no idea what was going on with Puck, but it was almost as if he were looking at an open wound with the way the other boy's misery bled from him in waves.
Kurt didn't realize that his feet were moving him toward Puck until he was standing there in front of him. Puck's hands clenched, then loosened, before he pushed the guitar around so it was sitting against his back. In a move that surprised Kurt, he reached out and pulled Kurt to him, pressing his face against Kurt's neck.
Frozen for a long moment, Kurt had no idea what to do. He couldn't even comprehend the fact that Noah Puckerman was clutching him like a life preserver, as if he were the only thing that could keep him afloat. Even more mind blowing, Kurt swore that he felt wet warmth on neck. Was Puck crying?
Instinct kicked in at that point, and Kurt maneuvered his arms around the guitar, wrapping around Puck. He rubbed the back of Puck's neck, making soothing noises to try and calm the other boy down. He had never known his mother and had never felt this from her, but there were plenty of times that he'd been swallowed in a hug from Mercedes or Tina, and he knew the cooing sounds were often a great comfort.
Puck finally pulled away, clearing his throat. He was a raw nerve, and Kurt didn't say anything, scared of ruining this fragile moment. He knew it wouldn't take much to make Puck withdraw. Instead, he just watched the other boy with his own wet eyes, his heart bleeding for Puck. "Let's sit down," Puck said, his voice thick with emotion.
They moved to the couch and Kurt sat down while Puck put his guitar away. He was surprised when Puck joined him on the couch; their thighs were touching. With a jolt, Kurt realized that Puck wanted to touch him. "Puck," Kurt said gently, still scared to say anything, still scared that if Puck came to his senses and realized what was going on, he would kick Kurt out of his house, and possibly his life.
"The baby is mine," Puck blurted out.
Kurt blinked, tilting his head. He had no idea what Puck was talking about. "The baby is--" He trailed off as realization gave him a swift punch to the gut. His voice was a whisper when he spoke again, "the baby is yours."
Suddenly, it made sense. Everything did. The way Puck watched Quinn (Kurt watched Puck enough to know that Puck watched her), the way he grew further and further from his two best friends, the way he was breaking down and telling Kurt this. It must have weighed heavily on Puck, Kurt thought, and he couldn't even talk to the mother or his best friend about it. "The baby is mine," Puck repeated. "And Finn doesn't even know. Finn doesn't know, Quinn doesn't want to keep the baby, and I want to do right by my child, and I can't." As he spoke, his voice grew smaller and smaller.
Kurt swallowed hard. He didn't know how to fix this; this wasn't something that any amount of fabulousness could make go away. He could; however, be there for Puck. He could let Puck vent to him and break down when he needed to - he could take Puck's secret to the grave. He decided to be honest with Puck. "I can't make it better, Noah," Kurt said. He rarely used Puck's given name; this was one of the moments in seriousness that he did. "But I can promise you I'll be here for you when you need me."
Puck looked up, met Kurt's eyes, held them for a long moment. His eyes seemed to clear a bit and while Kurt still saw the sorrow there, it didn't seem quite so consuming. Smiling faintly, Puck nodded. "Somehow, I had a feeling I could count on you, Kurt," he said quietly. "Thank you." Kurt was jolted with electricity when Puck's hand brushed against his, but fortunately, he didn't show it. "Come on, let's see what kind of music you brought over."
Kurt knew their moment was over, but that this was only the beginning.
.end.