Dice Random Legacy 3.3
1.0 - 1.1 - 1.2
2.0 - 2.1 - 2.2 - 2.3
3.0 - 3.1 - 3.2
Feels like ages, but we're back to a short update on the Dice! Previously, Luna died and I bawwwed all over the place. Locke decided to cure his vampirism as a wedding gift to Visenya. The two adopted a little green maggot and named her Luna II, and I found my favourite glitch in the game when Waylon Wolff tried to distance-sculpt from a random bar.
So let's start with the bits of family that didn't get much attention last time! Plus proving that this home is actually happy and well-adjusted and boring. For now. *cackle*
That makes 5! One more skill and Cole's hit his goal of being Awesome!
Visenya: Hi. You're hot. Mind if I interrogate you?
Andrea (?): Not in the least, gorgeous.
GOD DAMMIT IS THERE ANYONE IN TOWN WHO IS NOT ATTRACTED TO THE DICES
Fortunately, their nonsense was interrupted by an ancient townie meeting her maker.
Cole: Painting is really hard, man... feels like I just can't get my ideas onto the paper.
Visenya: GET SOME NEW FUCKING GLASSES, DAD
Locke: I just wanted to say that your style is flawless. Well, maybe except the snakeskin heels. We can fix that later.
What's with the getup?
Orson: It was not, shall we say, my choice.
Luna II: *cheerful squeaking*
Kathleen: OHHH YOU LOOK SO PRECIOUS
Visenya: I think I just saw the Matrix.
THE CUTEST. LOVE LOVE LOVE.
I mean, not that Orson's not cute or anything, but seriously, there's no competition here.
Orson: Fine by me. Bring on the ladiesss.
Let's just start with one lady, okay? Like this one. She's cute. She invited you over. Go werk your smoldery vampireness on her.
Orson: You're nice as sunshine. Uh, except not the kind that burns your skin, but, like, uh... bright and warm and pretty and stuff.
Lisette: Aw, it's so sappy it's almost -
Game: *crash*
Mass Effect: *is played instead*
Paparazzi: omg fishing? omg unsustainable~ gross~ boring~
Visenya: Fuck's sake, can't a woman have a hobby?
Visenya: Besides, you could be getting pictures of Jesusdog over there.
As annoying as crashes are, at least I get more adorable moments like this. By the way, this time around, Luna II ended up a Computer Whiz and Orson was Neat.
I also moved Rowan and Luna outside, just because. Shortly after this, I pilfered Haley's grave and put it in there, too.
Kathleen: Uh... who do I call about this?
It kept randomly driving through the house. I think my game might be breaking again.
Cole: YEAHHH AGE AND WISDOM WOO
Cole: Wh - where's my wisdom?? Don't old people know everything automatically?
...you are not acquainted with many seniors are you
Orson: Who? What? Okay.
Orson: You know what? I've got better shit to do than go to school.
Like what?
Orson: Oh, just using my vampire powers to somehow peg empty doorways with raw eggs.
Locke: Hi! Yeah, I'm sick of not getting paid, so I quit. Bye.
It was kinda odd. Whenever Locke got a job, there was a significant chance that the client would leave and kick him out before he could do the job or that they would glitch out and reset half the times they tried to tour their new home. It was getting super-annoying, so I made Locke quit.
(besides the Dice are now rich as fuuuuq)
Kathleen: WHERE THE HELL WERE YOU ALL DAY WHY ARE YOU BURNED WHO WERE YOU WITH oh forget it just be more like your sister okay we're going on a free vacation bye
Orson: O-okay, sure.
Luna: Music to my ears. *runs off to science for two days straight*
This is Jackie. She's... unique-looking.
As she and Orson went to prom, I noticed that there are an unusual number of magenta babies popping up around town. They're all totally unrelated to one another. Must be something in the water.
Successful prom!
Orson: *humming to himself, generally having a wonderful day, looking for butterflies prolly*
Orson: Last night was amazing. How would you feel about picking up where we left off?
Jackie: Y'know, I can just hear my mom screaming about it already, but that's kind of encouraging.
Orson: Are you sure? I don't want to rush you into anything.
Jackie: Orson, I'm the one who asked you to prom, remember? I was about ready to drag you off to bed myself. And besides...
Jackie: I wanna be with you forever.
Orson: I think we can arrange that.
omg the sunglasses make it look like there should be smooth jazz playing in the background
...and then the adults came home.
Jackie: oh shit the fuzz BYE ORSON LOVE YOU BABY
Visenya: ...And who the fuck was that??
Orson: *sigh* I'm a straight teenaged boy you left alone for two days. Who do you think that was?
Visenya: You see this hand? This is the hand I smack sassy dhampir brats with. Who. Was. That.
Orson: My girlfriend! My girlfriend! Her name's Jackie Durwood-Hoppcraft! We went to prom together, she's really sweet and she said she wants to be with me forever!
Visenya: I suppose I can accept her existence. Never have her over without our permission again, clear?
Orson: Yes, Ma'am.
Trashing the - motherfucker is NEAT! It's cleaner than when you LEFT!
In the face of such blatant unfairness, Orson waited until the house was asleep before taking a little trip.
Orson: I am such a badass.
He spent the night in the graveyard, which would be badass if his mother didn't own it.
Kathleen: Orson? It's time to get ready for...
Kathleen: Locke?
Locke: Oh! Uh... hi. I was just getting, uh, ice. Yeah. Ice.
Kathleen: Don't care. Where's Orson?
Locke: Didn't he get on the bus?
Kathleen: No. And he's not in his room or upstairs. Did he say anything to you?
Locke: ...oh shit. Wait, what was his girlfriend's name? Jackie...
Kathleen: Durwood-Hoppcraft! Visenya's partner's daughter! I'll give Tammi a call.
Kathleen: Hi! Hey, uh, this is a little embarrassing to ask, but did my grandson show up at your house last night?
Tammi: Not that I know of. Why? Did Visenya kick him out or something? He knows I'm on his mom's side anyways. Why would he be here?
Kathleen: ...this is awkward. See, Visenya grounded him, but he's not home and he's not on the way to school, so we figured he'd be going to see Jackie.
Tammi: Jackie? He's got other friends and uncles and aunts all over the city. Why my Jackie?
Kathleen: Uh, well... see, Orson got grounded because... well, Visenya caught the two of them. Together. Uh.
Tammi: ... I will help you find the little putz just so I can MAIM HIM MYSELF
Locke: *doesn't cope well*
Orson did come home that afternoon, if only because Tammi called Jackie and made her threaten him into going home (or so I imagine).
Locke: ...so? Are you just going to stand there and brood at me or are you going to explain, say, where the hell you were this morning?
Orson: Somewhere I don't get physically threatened when I have a girl over.
Locke: You - your mother has your - Dammit, now the big guns come out, son!
Orson: AW FUCK WHAT
Locke: We make the rules. Fair or not, you respect them, or I'll take away a lot more than the computer.
Locke: Hey, Grandma, I took care of the garden while you were away, so I have a bunch of Valerian Root you can use fo -
Kathleen: Not interested in anything your hooligan ass grew.
Orson: COME ON! I am trying to HELP now!
But can Orson do anything to get out of the hole he's in? Will he? And will Luna II live up to her promise of awesomeness? All this and more... next time!
51 .PNGs. Swearing, threats, teen horniness, unfaaairness.