Dice Random Legacy 2.2
1.0 - 1.1 - 1.2
2.0 - 2.1
Trying to set a new record for most frequent updates here. Am i doin it rite? Anyways, last time, Cole and Kathleen came home from college to much fanfare. Kath left her boyfriend Kim for fiancé Cole, and long-simmering resentment between Cole and founder Rowan boiled over into an all-out fight after Kathleen flirted with Rowan a little bit.
Rowan: Oh god that's my kid isn't it oh fuuuck
Dahlia: The least you could do is acknowledge me after you use me for sex, you ingrate. But no, you don't even look at me, you move right on to the next poor silly girl who falls for a cute face.
Rowan: But I - I - do you want money? I'll give you money. I'll pay his way through college, please -
Dahlia: No. I want nothing more to do with you. You just make everything more painful. And besides, I don't think you could afford to pay both Elias's and Nina's ways. Just... stop being such an ass.
Rowan: My lifestyle is coming back to bite me. Why is my lifestyle coming back to bite me? Am I about to go on a plucky adventure of self-improvement? No, I'm about to die a lot oh gods
Rowan: I love fall! So much innocent spooky fun.
Kathleen: Aw, he thinks he's Hallowe'en people.
Daredevils Everywhere: *shake heads*
Okay, that's it. This has gone on long enough. Cole and Kath need to fix up and MAKE ME SOME DAMN HEIRS. Well, a damn heir. Then phone-order another one. WHATEVER.
Rowan: ♫ ...a-and this bird you cannot cha-a-ange, oh oh oh oh... ♫
Bianca: Hmm?
Rowan: Nothing, nothing.
Bianca: That's my favourite song. My boyfriend hates it. Shall we go get a little more comfortable?
Rowan: My gods, I think I love you.
Moments before home base was going to happen she ran off to work.
Rowan: Cock - so blocked - aaagh.
Cole: Why can't people just leave the expensive stuff on top of the rotting domestic waste? Is that so hard?
Kathleen: You got me flowers? That's so sweet!
Cole: Yeah. I've been thinking for the past few days, and I wanted to say sorry. I was a total ass that night.
Kathleen: You were an ass? I was an ass! I was flirting with your skeevy dad! You had every right to go balls-out ballistic. I'm so sorry for what I did. I just want us to be happy again... and get married.
Jingles are a good start, right?
Kathleen: Well, hello, relationship cement.
Cole: Are you pregnant?
Kathleen: Yup!
Cole: Yay! It's mine though right
Kathleen: Duh.
Kathleen: We need names.
Cole: Song of Ice and Fire?
Kathleen: Fuckin' A. Done.
I figured a little foyer wedding would be better for Kathleen's Lonerness. Yes, they have a foyer now instead of a living room, la~
THIS ANTI-OCCULTISM IS SOME BULL SHIT. *sues everyone everywhere*
Rowan: Look, the least you could do is stop insulting me every time you see me. It's hard to maintain a political reputation when my son is my biggest heckler.
Cole: Really? I find it's hard to give a fuck. AS DO YOU.
Rowan: ...okay, look. I'm sorry. I did wrong by you, I did wrong by your mother, and I've done wrong by a lot of women since. But I realize that now. I know where I went wrong, and I want to make it up to you. Kathleen's pregnant, right? I'm going to be the best granddad I possibly can, at least until my knees crock up. Even after that, I'll damn well try. Please, Cole. I know it's a lot to ask after everything I've done. Let me be a part of your life.
Cole: No. You sound like a child trying to get a puppy. 'I promise I'll take care of it! Please, can I have one?' No. Dad, that train left the station a long-ass time ago, and you're still too much of a child for me to even consider letting you raise my kids. Get out of my sight.
Guys, the fourth wall is over here.
Luna: Where's my idiot brother? Missing his grandchild's birth?? Why I ought to...
Say it with me, now: Luna, I love you.
It's a maggot! Woojy boojy maggot.
Rowan: omg guise my DIL is yelling i think im a granpa
Never change, honey.
Cole: Aegon the Conqueror of My Heart~
Bianca Crumplebottom remains relevant to Rowan's interests.
Bianca: Sorry, I need to get to work.
Rowan: Again?? Why does sexual frustration have to be so frustrating??
Rowan: THIS THING SMELLS AND THE TARGARYENS ARE ALL NUTS ANYWAYS
Aegon: Read the books after you change my diaper, numbnuts!
Cole: I've been thinking.
Kathleen: Uh oh.
Cole: We've pretty much made it to the upper class, and we've only got the one kid...
Kathleen: I'll stop you there - I don't think I can handle going through labour again, at least not until I've forgotten what it's like.
Cole: I know! That's what I was thinking. We have so much, and there are kids out there who have nothing. Why go to the trouble of making another one when we can adopt?
Kathleen: I knew there was a reason I put up with you. Let's do it.
Cole: One infant, please.
Orphanage: Thank you for your order! Please allow twelve hours for delivery.
Luna: True masters feel at one with their tools, as though they could create with their hands behind their back.
And here's Visenya! Just - just ignore their canon relationship okay
This would be the point where I realized that Rowan does not have much interest in this family any more. He hates Cole, he's got no wishes for the grandkids, and he's never even been friends with Luna.
On a lighter note, I figure Cole's neuroticism will be helped by everything being self-cleaning.
You can tell that it's actually gonna go down this time because the paparazzo went full Jesus to try and get pics.
And might I just say FUCKING FINALLY
Rowan: So here's the weird thing: Of course, I find you super crazy hot -
Bianca: Damn right.
Rowan: - but I also feel like we have a special bond, something I've never experienced before. And I want to be with you all the time. Now, I'm not saying there's wedding bells down the line or anything, but I wanna see if we can manage living together.
Bianca: You know what? My mansion feels pretty empty since my sisters moved out. Sure, let's give it a go.
And so Rowan Dice, Leader of the Free World and founder of the Dice lineage, finally made up his goddamn mind on a woman and moved in with her.
Bianca: *victory strut*
He even dared to have a life.
And now what seems to be a seasonal tradition: I remodeled and omg the house looks so cute in the snow~~~
Most notably, I fancied the place up a little. Except for that damn glitched baby basket that will probably be there for ALL TIME now won't it
Marilyn: Bluh?
Kathleen: The last thing I need is a zombie shuffling about outside my babies' windows.
Kathleen: Alaka-SCRAM!
Marilyn: Wh - oh. Oh my god! I'm back! Finally released from my putrescent prison! Thank you so much!
Kathleen: Just go home before I call the cops.
Aegon and Visenya made it to toddlerhood, and we'll call it there! Next time: kids galore! Not much else!
52 .PNGs. Swearing, sexual themes, unexpected fluids.