It's late...this is the second night in a row I've just started crying unbidden. I'm pretty sure it's the loneliness. There's no sobbing, no choking. Just tears, and a faint sense of confusion and shame. That low I thought I was rocketing towards...well it's not that feeling anymore. I just feel like I'm at the bottom of the well. Comfortable, yet ( Read more... )

I'm here. I don't know where else to be. What else to do. I broke badly today. Went from viciously violent towards others to a suicidally depressed panic. I'm lonely, exhausted, and sick. I feel like someone beat the hell out of me. I want to get out of Sioux City, but I don't know when that will happen. I just want a few days, but I doubt that ( Read more... )

I don't know what is becoming of me. I don't know where I am going or what I am doing...I just know I am being crippled from the inside...so much so that in a week of time, I couldn't get myself seated to input my hours for what I worked this last check. I may not even get paid for it now ( Read more... )

That is about all the time it took to wipe out any optimism for a future I had left. I've lost a swath of good friends, my mental health and mental health care are teetering on the edge, and my financial opportunities have been torpedoed, perhaps permanently ( Read more... )

I'm emotionally exhausted. I need a hug and a kiss more than I need to eat tomorrow. I'd trade food for just a few minutes of love and affection. The hostility and bickering I've been trying to manage is tearing me down....If there isn't a breakthrough fast, I'm going to give up a large part of my life I adore, and a lot of people I adore along ( Read more... )

Well my previous post is slightly less relevant now. I have gotten back in touch with some special people, including Erin, Jen, and snake_charms. ^_^ This has done good things for my mood, even before any visits or hanging out are planned ( Read more... )

I'm trying really hard, but staying positive is a bitch. People just never seem to come around much anymore. Many people I really care about can't even bother to return a few simple texts. It's very frustrating. It makes me miss my younger years when things mattered to me more than people. And I know, maybe I just haven't found the right people, ( Read more... )

It's not all bad though, space monkeys. I am still going. I have some great friends, wonderful music, and fun games. Life is slow and poor, financially and productivity wise, but there is still much spirit here. I may slide down the slope, but I keep putting a foot ahead to climb through the mudslides and bullshit. I've lost so much, but that just ( Read more... )

A couple years have passed since I have been here. I blame Facebook, but I am in a major state of distrust with the thing, so here I am once more. Besides, I missed Brenna and figured this was the best way to get back in touch ( Read more... )

Well, here I am again. Anyone who reads this has bonecarnival to thank for it; since I remembered pretty much exclusively because I was thinkin about her today and this is where I see her. =p ( Read more... )