Comments | airah4: My Final Thoughts

airah4

My Final Thoughts

Aug 27, 2010 17:34

I've had an epiphany. It came to me tonight after I was working hard on a script with one of my close friends.

One year ago, I started a fansite on here ( ( Read more... )

Comments 18

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airah4 August 27 2010, 18:18:41 UTC

Mhm! Success is certainly how we define it. What makes us happy can be our success. We have every right in our lives to pursue our own happinesses, and if we can always be happy, then we are successful! I know that what I've gotten to do and what I'm getting to do now in my real life is my success and my happiness. So I also realized that while it isn't a good thing for people on the internet to devote their lives to hurting others on here, if that's what makes them happy, if that's what makes them feel better about themselves, then I should no longer challenge that. As long as they aren't harassing me anymore, then I shouldn't care. I think you're right about success too ( ... )

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airah4 August 30 2010, 01:16:20 UTC

It does take up a lot of time, you're right! And I don't blame you one bit for feeling like you might be lazy! I know I've felt that way before, and I think it's only natural to. On the other hand, there's also a lot of joy to be found in running a community, right? I think what I most love about running one is that I can meet lots of people, bring them together for an awesome group, and then provide updates. It's kind of awesome searching for good updates to share! I actually have a backlog of ones I haven't posted yet because I always find other ones that I wanna post first! >.And thank you for the support. I do it because I love AAA (I don't love any other group the way I love them) and I love running websites. I've done it for years and years, though mostly on other hosting sites and with smaller communities (though one of our Harry Potter communities had close to 1,000 members and ran for three years straight! ^___^). Running websites to entertain people is something I enjoy doing in my free time, which is why the drama that ( ... )

satsucake August 27 2010, 13:28:21 UTC

Awwww you still mentioned her in your journal here in your last entry.. You must ~*~love~*~ her so much. If I were her I'd be honored. So jealous.

Kidding XD. But you are right about a fresh start and your future ahead. You moved to Japan, and I moved to Indonesia. I believe we shared the same kind of feelings, we know what it feels like when you have to live in place where you barely know anyone. :) But that's good! It's means no one know your past. Every person we meet in the new place are ready to accept us just the way we are. It could help us to be a better person because we've learned our lesson from our former place.
And that's what everyone feels about DreamWidth, a new & loving perfect site for our beloved AAA~ :D

And the AAA community here on Livejournal? There are good people there, good fans. But you know what? They're the ones who never comment in that community anymore because they were smart enough to keep silent. They're the ones who hope for peace in the fandom. They're the ones that actually deserve to call ( ... )

airah4 August 27 2010, 18:25:05 UTC

Well, as I said, if that's what makes her happy, then I have no right to care, right?

But even though I love having moved to Japan, I don't feel like I need a fresh start. I have nothing to hide and have done nothing wrong. On the internet and in person, I am who I am. I don't try to hide behind some kind of mask and pretend I'm someone I'm not. In fact, when I was in school in Japan, I attended a performing arts class. We had to write our own scripts and stories, and I remember one of the topics we had to cover was about the evil that goes on on the internet. So my sister and I were in a group with a good number of our Japanese classmates and friends, and we did a skit based on Victoria and everything she did to us for the past year. People were horrified at what really goes on on the internet, but I can at least say on a positive note that the word about that kind of cyber-bullying and spamming did get out there, and we ended up getting an A ( ... )

satsucake August 28 2010, 02:39:04 UTC

oops sorry I didn't mean that you need to hide your past or anything. :) I mean how cool is that to live in a place where no one knows you etc, it's like starting your life from zero, a brand new life! xD

awww you're always good to me too! I love you and alex as my friends so very much, dont you know that? :')
you too take care! :D

airah4 August 28 2010, 03:10:51 UTC

Not at all!! I get it now! That's a very good point too. I guess it kind of is like a new life! And of course, there is always something new to explore too, which makes it even more thrilling...I'm always glad to hear you're doing well. And have you been doing any more cosplay??

Hahaha, thank you for always being so sweet! That made me grin! ^u^ Keep in touch, love!! &hearts

tarma August 27 2010, 14:19:02 UTC

I think what everyone involved in this needs to remember is perspective. AAA may seem like the be-all and end-all of life right now, but will they still be a band in ten years? I doubt it. Maybe they won't even last another five years. Life is going to go on without them, so why stress over something that simply will not matter in ten years? Enjoy it, but keep it in perspective, and think about the future. You're doing that; let's hope they all can, as well.

airah4 August 27 2010, 18:34:18 UTC

Well, you already know this Haruka, but the reason I started a AAA community on Livejournal was because I've been a member on Livejournal since 2004, and when I'd first fallen in love with AAA, the idea of starting a community in addition to the website we had on Freewebs, was more than appealing! I had such passion for this group and I wanted to share that with everyone! I know my sister and co-admin felt the same way ( ... )

shroomko August 27 2010, 21:55:54 UTC

Hey! It's Lee~

Firstly, I know I'm kind of new (in knowing you and the situation) and I hope that none of this comes off as assuming or presumptuous. I also might be repeating some things I said before... @_@

I think that most of the time, people do the things they do for a reason. It might not be a good one, or one that justifies the action, but it's a reason. I really try to keep this in mind when I go through my life from day to day. Maybe x person has been going through a really hard time in their life, or there is really something wrong you don't know or can't understand. It may be unlikely, but at least considering such things, I think, helps one become a more sympathetic and understanding person.

I also think that people react to the things they do like they do for a reason. It's perfectly understandable to be upset at people who've wronged you, stolen your trust and piece of mind. Those are two very valuable yet fragile things, security and trust. It's horrible when they're broken. While I don't think you should ( ... )

airah4 August 28 2010, 01:05:12 UTC

Hey, Lee-senpai!!! &hearts

Hahaha, that's okay. :) I appreciate the thought.

What you said, that's exactly my epiphany and why I wrote this journal entry. Because it dawned on me that if flaming people or backstabbing people is something someone enjoys.....I shouldn't be allowed to stop them (though I do feel like I was justified in defending myself from that in the past). That sounds terrible and wouldn't seem to make any sense, but some people do enjoy that kind of thing. And as long as it isn't going to affect me or my loved ones anymore, then obviously I shouldn't care.

I'm not saying it's not still going on or that it didn't bother me, but while I was working on that movie script with my friend the other day, I remember what my life was like before all this harassment and garbage happened. I was a lot more focused on my real life goals. And working on that script and talking with my friend (and you and my other friends on here too), I realized that I have a lot going for me in real life. I may not be the richest person ( ( ... )

bravelioness August 27 2010, 23:07:34 UTC

Well, since everyone else did, I thought I'd put in my final two cents. I feel pretty calm and relatively happy at the moment, with everything I've been able to do in my real life, and for the good people online I have been fortunate enough to meet.

But for the record, I do think I have the right to say this.

One thing I can say for Victoria is that I was never friends with her. Therefore, she never owed me anything and I never owed her anything. Despite how horrible the things were that she was doing to us, at least we never had a claim of "friendship" behind that.

I can't say the same for Jass (doi2life) and Kristi (aaalove). These were two people that I tried to get to know as people and who I was truly friends with. I don't make friends lightly. And they both betrayed me, for the most superficial reasons I can think of ( ... )

airah4 August 28 2010, 00:48:30 UTC

This is the point where I quote the infamous phrase, "A friend in need is a friend indeed." Anyone who is so quick to turn on their friends was never a friend to begin with. When I keep that thought in mind, I realize that it's better this happened. It's better they backstabbed me through something petty like the internet than in real life. And I don't think you or I will be any worse off without them. I think we'll be much better, in fact.

Anyway, that's the long and short of it. Our site is doing very well, much better than I could ever have possibly expected at this stage, and our 1-year anniversary is coming up. I will continue to work hard, both on that site and in my real life, and will never let petty internet people ruin that for me. =)^ That's the spirit. If that's what makes them happy in life, let them have their happiness. You have a happiness of a different kind, and you should be glad for that. &hearts That was was my epiphany. That I've spent so much time worrying about other people and their "happinesses" or what they ( ... )