My Final Thoughts
I've had an epiphany. It came to me tonight after I was working hard on a script with one of my close friends.
One year ago, I started a fansite on here ( ( Read more... )
One year ago, I started a fansite on here ( ( Read more... )
Firstly, I know I'm kind of new (in knowing you and the situation) and I hope that none of this comes off as assuming or presumptuous. I also might be repeating some things I said before... @_@
I think that most of the time, people do the things they do for a reason. It might not be a good one, or one that justifies the action, but it's a reason. I really try to keep this in mind when I go through my life from day to day. Maybe x person has been going through a really hard time in their life, or there is really something wrong you don't know or can't understand. It may be unlikely, but at least considering such things, I think, helps one become a more sympathetic and understanding person.
I also think that people react to the things they do like they do for a reason. It's perfectly understandable to be upset at people who've wronged you, stolen your trust and piece of mind. Those are two very valuable yet fragile things, security and trust. It's horrible when they're broken. While I don't think you should necessarily forget, forgiving is really a liberating thing to do. Being bitter never helps anyone in the long run.
That and well, I agree 100% with what tarma said above. Perspective is really, really important. It's deciding when you just have to let go, even when the other party refuses to, or comes back later. It's knowing that you've been wrong and being able to shrug it off because, in the grand scope of things... it's really not that bad.
Of course, as you mentioned, you seem to have a lot of things going for you right now. They're things you're excited about, and things you may be able to invest your future in. Always remember what's important!
There are good things out there! I speak from personal experience when I say that I've become really bitter and jaded about things that have been done to me, some probably not even that serious... it's really stifling and encumbering. But if you're truly letting go of all the negativity the situation has brought, it's a really good thing. It's good that you're making these realizations about the world and yourself, and I hope they're helping you grow into a better, more aware person.
Again, I wish the very best for you and Alex! ♥
OT: Are you okay? It seems your wrist has been bugging you a lot lately? If you think you need to take a break from the RP, then it's really fine! I've been a bit worried about you, though... D:
OT2: You're using that Miura/Nishijima picture for your icon and it makes me really happy. <3
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Hahaha, that's okay. :) I appreciate the thought.
What you said, that's exactly my epiphany and why I wrote this journal entry. Because it dawned on me that if flaming people or backstabbing people is something someone enjoys.....I shouldn't be allowed to stop them (though I do feel like I was justified in defending myself from that in the past). That sounds terrible and wouldn't seem to make any sense, but some people do enjoy that kind of thing. And as long as it isn't going to affect me or my loved ones anymore, then obviously I shouldn't care.
I'm not saying it's not still going on or that it didn't bother me, but while I was working on that movie script with my friend the other day, I remember what my life was like before all this harassment and garbage happened. I was a lot more focused on my real life goals. And working on that script and talking with my friend (and you and my other friends on here too), I realized that I have a lot going for me in real life. I may not be the richest person (hahaha, far from it) and I may not have all the glamour and things other people do, but I have spirit, determination, and inspiration on my side. And all those beautiful things happened to me within four months of being in Japan. I can only imagine what I have in store when I return, especially when we're getting lots of offers now. This is the path I have dreamed about since I was so little....I'm not gonna just pass up this dream for people on the internet who don't know respect or friendship. And maybe they DO have reasons why they don't know that stuff. What those reasons are I don't think I'll ever understand, but yes....I have no reason to question that.
I'm tired of the drama, I'm tired of backstabbers, I'm tired of comm trolls, and I'm tired of negative things in general. I feel so blessed to have a good real life and have met people like you in the roleplay and on the new Attack All Around at Dreamwidth. THAT'S what I need to start focusing on. So that's what I'm gonna focus on. Because between the good things in my real life, and the awesome stuff that happens with you guys, my friends, on the roleplay or our community, those good things outweigh the bad ones by MILES.
And yet, while you're right about forgiving and forgetting, this seems to be the kind of thing that even if one person DID forgive and forget, the other 100 people involved would not and nothing would change. That's why the attackallaround here at Livejournal is so horrible. Because everyone is cut-throat. And I don't mean the fans who have been there for a very long time and pretty much stayed out of the drama, because as I said in my post, they're the ones who really did remain silent, and pretty much still do. They're the ones there for the right reasons.
OT: Haha, I'm all right. I think I've got carpel tunnel syndrome, but I've been waiting for the day when it would arrive anyway, since I've been typing up stories on computers for years now, back when I was around 10 almost. I knew it would arrive, but it's been a tad disabling, haha. I'll be all right, though, don't worry!
OT2: That picture made me really happy. &hearts My two favorite boys. I'm glad you like it! ^_^
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