tears

[aetheldaeg]

I have been thinking about my seemingly endless tears. I have been depressed in the past but I don't think my tears are a result of being depressed. Some of my tears are for me. Tears for the loss of peace, fear of the unknown and that horrible scary word cancer. I have always cried at movies and sometimes books. I cry when I am happy and when I am

Comments

[nikator]

Naw, you're human, but you're more sensitive, now. Methinks?

Most of us, we're de-sensitized and callous, and we couldn't muster up tears unless someone stabbed us.

If you're in a period of depression, then we're here for ya.

** hug **

depression

[aetheldaeg]

Thank you. I don't know if I am depressed. I sleep ok, I still laugh and have joy in my life. Can you have all that and still be depressed? It is nice to know people are there for me either way.

Diagnosis: there's nothing wrong with you. : )

[nikator]

I don't think anything's wrong with you at all. I think you're just sensitive. Is that a bad thing to feel emotion. I don't think so.

Can you still sleep, laugh, and experience joy if you're depressed? My personal experience is yes, but it takes me expensive pills to get that which you're blessed naturally.

Re: Diagnosis: there's nothing wrong with you. : )

[aetheldaeg]

I take little purple happy pills every day. They don't make me happy themselves but they enable me to laugh, be happy and keep going. Maybe one day I'll get to a place where the purple happy pill will be a thing of the past. If I don't, well then, Thank God for them. :o)

[opakele]

What you are going through is huge.

All of a sudden people are sharing cancer stories with me. Things they've gone through as a care giver or a cancer patient. It's like, you get cancer and all of a sudden you have a free pass to some very intimate confidences.

I see the stories as a gift. Lots of times it just assures me that it could be a lot worse for me.

Cry and cry. There is nothing wrong with it. This is a complete life change, a transition, a loss. You need to attend to it.

tears

[aetheldaeg]

I guess that I should stop worrying about the tears and quite trying to fight them. I might have some pretty soggy days but maybe it will help.
When I went to Healing Connections I met a young woman who started her journey thinking that she had one tumour, it turned out that she had five in one breast, ended up having a mastectomy. She has a tough road ahead, helping me put some perspective on my own journey. As you said, it could be a lot worse for me too.

Re: tears

[jarman321]

Do you feel stronger, after a good cry? Or drained? With the Christmas Season fast approaching, and you have said you husband is back from Peace-keeping duty, there is a lot of emotion.

I cry each time I go to the Stollery Clinic and the childrens ward at the UofA. The kids caught me the first few times and chided me for it. So now I make sure my eyes are dry and not puffy when I get to the door.
My oldest sister's son, was diagnosed with cancer when he turned twelve, he has had chemo twice now. He has proven the doctors wrong a few times.

Don't worry about it being worse, some people can take it in stride, others cannot. Your strength shines through in your posts.

One of the Few...
Jared S. Hay
Semper Fidelis

Re: tears

[aetheldaeg]

Hmm good question. Most of the time I feel calm. It seems that my tears are the overflow valve for my emotions. Whenever an emotion gets too "big??" then I cry. I guess my "topped up" level is lower than usual so the overflow kicks in more often.