I have not written here in a long time and I am not sure if I have anything to say. All my observations and feelings are settled on my tongue like dust and I worry more and more that I am losing consciousness. I worry that I am dispatching my empathy. That though he says my body is rising to unknown temperatures in his arms everything feels ( ( Read more... )

He pulled me out of the depths of the netherworld. He called me out like a rat with his euphonious speeches. And never once did he look back. If he had I would have slipped back into the darkness. Now I give him gifts: the suede bracelet and the goatskin jacket intending them to be artifacts of my presence that will fossilize overtime in his ( Read more... )

I do not know what I saw in coke in the first place. I think I was drawn to the dizzy spell that occurred when I touched your skin while you talked and talked for what was the first time for me. That was not coke. That was love ( Read more... )

I wish that the hole in my chest was no figurative and that someone could climb in here and keep me company. I want to be so close to someone that the outline of our bodies merge. Then the smell of our breath would be lost in the rapture of being a collective and we could move even closer and closer until loneliness is only an idea rather than a ( Read more... )

You don't know this, but you make me cry all the time.

I recently finished reading Naomi by Junichiro Tanizaki. The novel is about a Japanese man named Joji an electrical engineer who takes a Japanese girl named Naomi into his care because he is enchanted by her Eurasian looks. The two of them move into a house together and he begins cultivating her in Western culture. However over the years Naomi ( Read more... )

I hate having doubts. I thought I would never be the type to have them about this sort of thing, but I am having them and it is painful.

I remember when I was in middle school I had a hard time eating lunch with the other kids in the my class. I often pretended that I did not bring a lunch from home and would sit with my arms crossed and glare at the desk in front of me. I did this for a few reasons. I was shy and I was nervous because of two reasons, I was going through puberty and ( Read more... )

I have gotten over the Valentines Day ordeal, I have decided it is not that important because Matt is great and I was being dumb. It is just a holiday and what is important is that we express ourselves all the rest of the time that it does not matter that we celebrate. I feel corny for saying that, but I mean that ( Read more... )

I know it is really petty, but I had been hoping Matt would do something for me for Valentines Day. I had given him something for Valentines Day and now I feel really embarrassed that I did. I don't feel very good about myself right now. I know it is silly to be thinking about it when he is concerned with his leg right now, but I feel so depressed ( Read more... )