Torchwood IMs: Obtained File: CPD / Torchwood Liaison Meeting #13
Title: Torchwood IMs: Obtained File: CPD / Torchwood Liaison Meeting #13
Chapter: 12
Characters: Ianto Jones, Jack Harkness, Kathy Swanson
Author: a_silver_story
Genre Humour
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Implied M.M
Disclaimer: If I owned anything in this, I'd be a rich rich rich bitch. However, I am not a rich rich rich bitch so you may all, therefore, assume I own nothing. Which I don't. It all belongs RTD and the BBC, in case any of you didn't know.
Summary: Doctor Jones and Captain America visit Detective Swanson ... and Jacky no likey.
01 | Ianto and Gwen's IM's
02 | Ianto and Southern Comfort
03 | Skiving with Captain Andy
04 | Ianto and Jack's IMs
05 | Tosh? Gossiping? Never!
06 | What Toshiko Saw ... (Prose)
07 | Captain Andy handles the Force
08 | Ianto and SOCO Strikes Back
09 | Into the Boardroom (Prose)
10 | Ianto's, Tosh's, Gwen and Jack's IMs
11 | Ianto and Rhys' IMs
Obtained File: Torchwood/ CPD Liaison Meeting #13
File Intercepted by: Jones, Ianto.
Torchwood Employee No.: TW3 - 657
Date: 05/06/2008
Originator: PC Francesca Katzenjammer
Archived at: 16 - 42 - 3 - 15/W
Cardiff Police Department and Torchwood Institute Liaison meeting Re: Brutal killings in Butetown area.
All identification verified and confirmed by INTERPOL
DS: Detective Kathy Swanson, CDP
CA: Captain America, Torchwood (005)
DJ: Doctor Jones, Torchwood (657)
MEETING COMMENCES: 10:32 AM, 05/06/2008
DS: Good morning Captain ... America?
CA: Mornin' Swanson.
DS: And ... Doctor Jones?
DJ: Yes, ma'am.
DS: So you're sticking with the fake identification?
DJ: I think if you check with INTERPOL, you'll find they're one hundred per cent valid and varified.
CA: Photo ID and everything.
DS: I'm sure. Let's hope you can live up to your respective namesakes' reputations.
DJ: Is that a challenge?
CA: If it was, she's getting bitch slapped.
DS: [clears throat] On with business, gentlemen. Captain.
DJ: [laughs]
CA: I want this over and done with. The longer you sit there making eyes at him, the more I want to set our pet Pterodactyl on ... ow.
DS: Pet pterodactyl?
CA: She's not actually a pterodactyl, it turns out ... ow!
DS: Whatever, Captain. We are here to discuss the brutal murder in the Butetown area.
CA: We're dealing with it.
DS: So you admit it has something to do with Torchwood?
DJ: That's not what we said.
DS: Sorry ... Doctor.
DJ: It's okay Detective. Just tell us what you know about the murders.
DS: Well, Doctor Jones, we're not entirely sure they were murders, per se.
DJ: No?
DS: The doctors said it looked like tooth and claw marks, not blades.
DJ: I see. How do you relate this back to us at Torchwood?
DS: A witness saw your SUV arrive at the scene moments after the attacks and bundle the assailants into your vehicle.
CA: Are they sure it's our SUV?
DJ: It'd be hard to mistake our SUV for another. It does say "Torchwood" on it in big yellow letters on the roof.
DS: [laughs]
CA: [clears throat]
DJ: We were at the scene.
CA: Jones?
DJ: We thought it was something to do with us, but when we got there it turned out it wasn't.
DS: How could you have been sure?
CA: [shrugs] We came, we saw, we knew it wasn't our problem.
DS: Four people are dead, Captain Harkness.
CA: America. It's Captain America.
DJ: Stop it Jack.
CA: [folds arms, sits back, looks out of window] We need to get the top of the SUV painted.
DJ: [sighs, leans forward] Listen, Kathy ... Is it alright if I call you Kathy?
DS: That's fine ... erm ..
DJ: Indiana.
DS: [laughs] Right! Indiana. That's fine Indiana.
CA: [makes noise in throat]
DJ: [touches DS hand] We're sorry. We really don't have anything to do with this. We have our own procedures to follow, and we didn't want to go sticking our noses into something that's your department.
CA: [stands] There you are then. Animal attack, open-shut case. We're done. Let's go.
DS: Oh.
DJ: [stands] I'm sorry we couldn't help. If there's anything you think you might need from us ... from me ... here ... [slides card across desk]
[CA and DJ leave]
minutes taken by PC Francesca Katzenjammer
~*~*~*~
12:04 PM
MR JONES has entered the conversation
JACK: WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT????????
MR JONES: What?
JACK: Giving Swanson your phone number!
MR JONES: I didn't give her my phone number, I gave her my email.
JACK: Why?
MR JONES: I thought it would be useful to have someone on the inside, even if she doesn't know she's a someone on the inside.
JACK: We have Gwen.
MR JONES: ... and now we have Kathy.
JACK: "It is okay if I call you Kathy?" eugh I was nearly sick into my own scorn.
MR JONES: Awwww are you jealousss????
JACK: No. Why would I be jeaslous?? It's not like she stands a chance with you.
JACK: Does she?
MR JONES: No, she doesn't. There's this other guy, you see.
JACK: Oh, really? :)
MR JONES: Yeah.
JACK: ... and are you serious about this "other guy"?
MR JONES: He's my partner.
JACK: Don't you ever forget it!
MR JONES: How could I forget? You lay claim often enough :-P
JACK: Muahahaha
JACK: When's your mam's flight landing?
MR JONES: Tomorrow. 6:30 PM according to teletext.
JACK: You're going to pick her up?
MR JONES: I hope so. I'll be picking up Rhiannon first so that we can get her together.
JACK: Aww.
JACK: I've been thinking ...
MR JONES: I'll record the date and time and archive this rare moment for prosperity :-P
JACK: Oh haha.
JACK: Do you want me to go to your flat? You can tell your mam about me in the car, and if all goes well I'll make us some food and you can all come and eat at the flat.
MR JONES: You want to make dinner for me, my sister and my mam?
JACK: If you want me to.
MR JONES: ... and you're going to stay and eat with us?
JACK: Yep.
MR JONES: ... and meet my mam?
JACK: Yep.
MR JONES: ... and make a good impression?
JACK: Maybe ... But I'll try my best!
JACK: For you.
JACK: I'll try my best for you.
MR JONES: :D:D:D:D:D I'd love for you to do that!
MR JONES: ... but maybe get a take-away.
JACK: I thought you liked my cooking???
MR JONES: Yeah ...
MR JONES: I do. I just don't think my mam will.
JACK: Why?
MR JONES: I might have lied when I told you I enjoy it when you cook ...
MR JONES: The time we had sandwiches was delicious, though :D
JACK: Ohhhhh IANTO you should have said!!! I'd have insisted on cooking less.
MR JONES: You went to all that effort for me. I couldn't tell you I didn't like it. I know what a delicate flower you are.
JACK: Delicate Flower? Moi?
MR JONES: Yep. You're not exactly good at hiding your feelings.
JACK: I am!
MR JONES: You're not! I swear your jealousy made that meeting room glow green.
JACK: Shadduppa ya face :-P
JACK: Did you obtain the minutes from the meeting?
MR JONES: Yep. Totally obliterated it from the CDP computer systems, and I took a sonic re-programmer into the meeting so the tape will just playback Britney Spears' "Toxic" on repeat.
MR JONES: I've made a physical copy of the file and archived it in the Weevil section of the archives.
JACK: Rules and and regulations.
MR JONES: I live for them.
JACK: Maybe I need to come up with some firm rules and regulations for the office ...
MR JONES: Hmmm. Maybe. Shall I come down and help you figure them out into a coherent list?
JACK: You can come down on me as soon as you want, Ianto.
MR JONES: I'm thinking ASAP. I think it may take the rest of the day ... such a good job a UFO is about to be spotted hovering above Abergavenny ...
JACK: Muaha!
MR JONES has left the conversation
FIN
Next Part | Previous Part | Torchwood Index | Request a Convo/Prose Fic
Chapter: 12
Characters: Ianto Jones, Jack Harkness, Kathy Swanson
Author: a_silver_story
Genre Humour
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Implied M.M
Disclaimer: If I owned anything in this, I'd be a rich rich rich bitch. However, I am not a rich rich rich bitch so you may all, therefore, assume I own nothing. Which I don't. It all belongs RTD and the BBC, in case any of you didn't know.
Summary: Doctor Jones and Captain America visit Detective Swanson ... and Jacky no likey.
01 | Ianto and Gwen's IM's
02 | Ianto and Southern Comfort
03 | Skiving with Captain Andy
04 | Ianto and Jack's IMs
05 | Tosh? Gossiping? Never!
06 | What Toshiko Saw ... (Prose)
07 | Captain Andy handles the Force
08 | Ianto and SOCO Strikes Back
09 | Into the Boardroom (Prose)
10 | Ianto's, Tosh's, Gwen and Jack's IMs
11 | Ianto and Rhys' IMs
Obtained File: Torchwood/ CPD Liaison Meeting #13
File Intercepted by: Jones, Ianto.
Torchwood Employee No.: TW3 - 657
Date: 05/06/2008
Originator: PC Francesca Katzenjammer
Archived at: 16 - 42 - 3 - 15/W
Cardiff Police Department and Torchwood Institute Liaison meeting Re: Brutal killings in Butetown area.
All identification verified and confirmed by INTERPOL
DS: Detective Kathy Swanson, CDP
CA: Captain America, Torchwood (005)
DJ: Doctor Jones, Torchwood (657)
MEETING COMMENCES: 10:32 AM, 05/06/2008
DS: Good morning Captain ... America?
CA: Mornin' Swanson.
DS: And ... Doctor Jones?
DJ: Yes, ma'am.
DS: So you're sticking with the fake identification?
DJ: I think if you check with INTERPOL, you'll find they're one hundred per cent valid and varified.
CA: Photo ID and everything.
DS: I'm sure. Let's hope you can live up to your respective namesakes' reputations.
DJ: Is that a challenge?
CA: If it was, she's getting bitch slapped.
DS: [clears throat] On with business, gentlemen. Captain.
DJ: [laughs]
CA: I want this over and done with. The longer you sit there making eyes at him, the more I want to set our pet Pterodactyl on ... ow.
DS: Pet pterodactyl?
CA: She's not actually a pterodactyl, it turns out ... ow!
DS: Whatever, Captain. We are here to discuss the brutal murder in the Butetown area.
CA: We're dealing with it.
DS: So you admit it has something to do with Torchwood?
DJ: That's not what we said.
DS: Sorry ... Doctor.
DJ: It's okay Detective. Just tell us what you know about the murders.
DS: Well, Doctor Jones, we're not entirely sure they were murders, per se.
DJ: No?
DS: The doctors said it looked like tooth and claw marks, not blades.
DJ: I see. How do you relate this back to us at Torchwood?
DS: A witness saw your SUV arrive at the scene moments after the attacks and bundle the assailants into your vehicle.
CA: Are they sure it's our SUV?
DJ: It'd be hard to mistake our SUV for another. It does say "Torchwood" on it in big yellow letters on the roof.
DS: [laughs]
CA: [clears throat]
DJ: We were at the scene.
CA: Jones?
DJ: We thought it was something to do with us, but when we got there it turned out it wasn't.
DS: How could you have been sure?
CA: [shrugs] We came, we saw, we knew it wasn't our problem.
DS: Four people are dead, Captain Harkness.
CA: America. It's Captain America.
DJ: Stop it Jack.
CA: [folds arms, sits back, looks out of window] We need to get the top of the SUV painted.
DJ: [sighs, leans forward] Listen, Kathy ... Is it alright if I call you Kathy?
DS: That's fine ... erm ..
DJ: Indiana.
DS: [laughs] Right! Indiana. That's fine Indiana.
CA: [makes noise in throat]
DJ: [touches DS hand] We're sorry. We really don't have anything to do with this. We have our own procedures to follow, and we didn't want to go sticking our noses into something that's your department.
CA: [stands] There you are then. Animal attack, open-shut case. We're done. Let's go.
DS: Oh.
DJ: [stands] I'm sorry we couldn't help. If there's anything you think you might need from us ... from me ... here ... [slides card across desk]
[CA and DJ leave]
minutes taken by PC Francesca Katzenjammer
~*~*~*~
12:04 PM
MR JONES has entered the conversation
JACK: WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT????????
MR JONES: What?
JACK: Giving Swanson your phone number!
MR JONES: I didn't give her my phone number, I gave her my email.
JACK: Why?
MR JONES: I thought it would be useful to have someone on the inside, even if she doesn't know she's a someone on the inside.
JACK: We have Gwen.
MR JONES: ... and now we have Kathy.
JACK: "It is okay if I call you Kathy?" eugh I was nearly sick into my own scorn.
MR JONES: Awwww are you jealousss????
JACK: No. Why would I be jeaslous?? It's not like she stands a chance with you.
JACK: Does she?
MR JONES: No, she doesn't. There's this other guy, you see.
JACK: Oh, really? :)
MR JONES: Yeah.
JACK: ... and are you serious about this "other guy"?
MR JONES: He's my partner.
JACK: Don't you ever forget it!
MR JONES: How could I forget? You lay claim often enough :-P
JACK: Muahahaha
JACK: When's your mam's flight landing?
MR JONES: Tomorrow. 6:30 PM according to teletext.
JACK: You're going to pick her up?
MR JONES: I hope so. I'll be picking up Rhiannon first so that we can get her together.
JACK: Aww.
JACK: I've been thinking ...
MR JONES: I'll record the date and time and archive this rare moment for prosperity :-P
JACK: Oh haha.
JACK: Do you want me to go to your flat? You can tell your mam about me in the car, and if all goes well I'll make us some food and you can all come and eat at the flat.
MR JONES: You want to make dinner for me, my sister and my mam?
JACK: If you want me to.
MR JONES: ... and you're going to stay and eat with us?
JACK: Yep.
MR JONES: ... and meet my mam?
JACK: Yep.
MR JONES: ... and make a good impression?
JACK: Maybe ... But I'll try my best!
JACK: For you.
JACK: I'll try my best for you.
MR JONES: :D:D:D:D:D I'd love for you to do that!
MR JONES: ... but maybe get a take-away.
JACK: I thought you liked my cooking???
MR JONES: Yeah ...
MR JONES: I do. I just don't think my mam will.
JACK: Why?
MR JONES: I might have lied when I told you I enjoy it when you cook ...
MR JONES: The time we had sandwiches was delicious, though :D
JACK: Ohhhhh IANTO you should have said!!! I'd have insisted on cooking less.
MR JONES: You went to all that effort for me. I couldn't tell you I didn't like it. I know what a delicate flower you are.
JACK: Delicate Flower? Moi?
MR JONES: Yep. You're not exactly good at hiding your feelings.
JACK: I am!
MR JONES: You're not! I swear your jealousy made that meeting room glow green.
JACK: Shadduppa ya face :-P
JACK: Did you obtain the minutes from the meeting?
MR JONES: Yep. Totally obliterated it from the CDP computer systems, and I took a sonic re-programmer into the meeting so the tape will just playback Britney Spears' "Toxic" on repeat.
MR JONES: I've made a physical copy of the file and archived it in the Weevil section of the archives.
JACK: Rules and and regulations.
MR JONES: I live for them.
JACK: Maybe I need to come up with some firm rules and regulations for the office ...
MR JONES: Hmmm. Maybe. Shall I come down and help you figure them out into a coherent list?
JACK: You can come down on me as soon as you want, Ianto.
MR JONES: I'm thinking ASAP. I think it may take the rest of the day ... such a good job a UFO is about to be spotted hovering above Abergavenny ...
JACK: Muaha!
MR JONES has left the conversation
FIN
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