Torchwood IMs: Ianto and Rhys' IMs
Title: Ianto and Rhys' IMs
Chapter: 11
Characters: Ianto Jones, Rhys Willams
Author: a_silver_story
Genre Humour
Rating: 15, one cuss
Warnings: Implied M.M
Disclaimer: If I owned anything in this, I'd be a rich rich rich bitch. However, I am not a rich rich rich bitch so you may all, therefore, assume I own nothing. Which I don't. It all belongs RTD and the BBC, in case any of you didn't know.
Summary: Ianto and Rhys bond over a chat about wardrobes and metaphorical buses.
01 | Ianto and Gwen's IM's
02 | Ianto and Southern Comfort
03 | Skiving with Captain Andy
04 | Ianto and Jack's IMs
05 | Tosh? Gossiping? Never!
06 | What Toshiko Saw ... (Prose)
07 | Captain Andy handles the Force
08 | Ianto and SOCO Strikes Back
09 | Into the Boardroom (Prose)
10 | Ianto's, Tosh's, Gwen and Jack's IMs
RHYS has entered the conversation
RHYS: Evenin’
MR JONES: Hey Rhys.
RHYS: Hows u?
RHYS: And for a secret organization, isn’t a hotmail account a little easy to hack?
MR JONES: You can’t start sentences with connectives.
MR JONES: There’s nothing official in here. Just a couple of things from my sister and few emails offering me penis enlargements.
RHYS: Haha! That kind of spam really gets on my wick.
MR JONES: I don’t mind the spam … it’s the ones forwarded from my mam that really hurt.
RHYS: LMAO
MR JONES: How’s the wardrobe and shelf working out?
RHYS: Fine, fine. Stuff goes on the shelf and doesn’t fall off and stuff goes in the wardrobe and the rail doesn’t fall down … I’d say it was a job well done, mate.
MR JONES: … no thanks to you ;^P
RHYS: Oi! I was as helpful as a supervisor could be! *hmph*
MR JONES: You made an alright cuppa tea.
RHYS: lol
RHYS: Just wondering, but would you fancy coming out for a drink sometime with me and the lads?
MR JONES: Really?
RHYS: Yeahhh. I figured you’re a bit of alright. If you’re anything like Gwen, you’re not getting out as much as you need to. Why not come out with me and the lads? Have a drink, talk rugby, harass the tourists, laugh at the Valley kids on a night out …
MR JONES: Sounds fun! When are you usually out?
RHYS: Fridays, Saturdays and the odd Wednesday.
MR JONES: I think I can make this Wednesday. Is it alright if I invite Jack?
RHYS: Oh aye. If he does come, please tell him to keep his hands to himself. My mates are alright, but our local’s a bit … judgmental of fella’s who “bat on the women’s team” if you get me …
MR JONES: Keep his hands to himself?? I’ll leave him at home. It’ll be easier for him.
RHYS: You two live together now?
MR JONES: Not exactly.
RHYS: Oh
RHYS: How exactly?
MR JONES: I got to my flat once a week or so. Do laundry, dust, hoover, check my post. Sometimes we stay there. Get away from the hub, y’know.
RHYS: Ah.
RHYS: How long you two been together then?
MR JONES: Not sure. I estimate … technically … about 2 years.
RHYS: Not sure? “estimate”?
MR JONES: It’s complicated.
RHYS: Okie dokie. Won’t pry.
MR JONES: Wow. So opposites do attract … Gwen would have me on the floor in a headlock until I told her the exact details of everything that had ever happened in my life ever.
RHYS: lmao I can see what you mean. I decided to be a bit romantic and buy her flowers the other day.
RHYS: She started getting all suspicious, asking what I’d done, what did she need to forgive me for … she didn’t stop asking questions until she had my exact psychological chain of thought as to why I needed to buy her flowers filed away in her mind.
MR JONES: Oh I doubt Gwen files. I’d imagine her mind is like an endless corridor full of posters and post-it notes that form some kind of organized chaos.
RHYS: yeah. I can see her mind being like that.
MR JONES: I bet yours is like a map.
RHYS: Yeah! It kind of is, actually!
MR JONES: Everything remembered in sequence.
RHYS: Yeah. I’d never thought of it like that before! How’d you figure that out?
MR JONES: You work in logistics and you’re a sports fan.
RHYS: Ahhh.
RHYS: What’s your head like?
MR JONES: I have a Memory Palace. Rooms filled with tables and filing cabinets and bookshelves. Each room is for something different. So if I need to remember, say, what was the first present I got on my 18th birthday, I can go to the third door on the left on the ground floor and find the information stored there.
RHYS: Wow. I think I need to start doing that. How do you manage to keep all that?
MR JONES: Triggers. Remember which room you might want, and everything triggers from there.
MR JONES: I got the idea from Hannibal Lecter.
RHYS: The cannibal?
MR JONES: Yep.
RHYS: Ha. As long as you don’t eat Gwen, I’m fine with that.
MR JONES: … tell me the double entendre wasn’t intended.
RHYS: :o! No is wasn’t!
MR JONES: Sorry, it’s just with Jack every comment is usually innuendo and you have to be careful what you say.
RHYS: Bloody Americans. Over-worked, over-sexed … and over here.
MR JONES: I believe the correct response to that would be: LMAO?
RHYS: Heh ^_^
MR JONES: I , too, am a fan of Chicken Run.
RHYS: Well, it is one of the best British films ever made.
MR JONES: Even if it did have Mel Gibson in it.
RHYS: Ne’er a truer word been said, my friend.
MR JONES: Soooo …
MR JONES: Who’ll be coming on Wednesday? Could I have a few names to go by? Something to fit a face to when I get there?
RHYS: Well, there’s Daf. He’s mental.
RHYS: There’s Daffyd. He’s mental.
RHYS: There’s Nick. He’s mental.
RHYS: Then there’s Banana Boat. He’s quite normal.
MR JONES: Ahhh I know who Banana Boat is. Best man at your wedding?
RHYS: That’s the one.
MR JONES: He carried a torch for Tosh, if I remember rightly.
RHYS: He did!
MR JONES: She still doesn’t want to know, in case he’s wondering.
RHYS: Oh he spotted another attractive woman who had a post code. He probably won’t be able to place her.
MR JONES: Haha! He sounds like Jack.
MR JONES: Probably not as successful, though.
RHYS: No haha.
MR JONES: Probably because he doesn’t have the coat. ;)
RHYS: That is an impressive coat. I bet it’s a bastard to keep clean.
MR JONES: Not really. I think he’s used some kind of alien technology on it to make it magical. It never has a hole in it, never stains. Hardly ever goes to the dry cleaners - well, hardly ever used to. I’ve managed to get its number of visits up to twice a year.
RHYS: Haha. I’m guessing you’re the wife in this relationship?
MR JONES: My display name says Mr. Jones. MISTER. *hmph*
RHYS: Haha!
MR JONES: I suppose I am quite wifey.
RHYS: Ianto? You know how you like … ride on the other bus, so to speak?
MR JONES: I don’t permanently ride the “other” bus. I have a lifetime pass for the one you’re on, too.
RHYS: Oh … Well, swing both ways, then?
MR JONES: Yeah …
RHYS: Do you understand women better?
MR JONES: Er … I don’t know.
RHYS: I’ve been wondering … if I ever thought Gwen was wavering away … what should I do?
MR JONES: Woahhh … I’ve only known you socially for a few hours and you’re asking me for relationship advice?
RHYS: Sorry.
MR JONES: It’s okay. It’s always easier to talk to people you don’t properly know about stuff like that I suppose.
RHYS: Yeah.
MR JONES: Well …
MR JONES: I think you should just … I dunno. Clean the oven. Wash out the fridge. Make her a cup of tea in the morning.
RHYS: I do that anyway.
MR JONES: … so you’re a wife too?
RHYS: Yes! Haha!
MR JONES: Do something couple-y. Something that’ll stand out. I’m not one for spontaneity myself, but I think Gwen is. What about a day out to Blackpool Pleasure Beach?
RHYS: I’m a bag holder.
MR JONES: Ahh okay.
MR JONES: When I was with my ex-girlfriend, she was always nagging on at me to take her to Venture.
RHYS: Venture?
MR JONES: A photographers. You go in a white room, take your shoes and socks off and fool around and have a laugh while the photographer takes pictures. Then you pick one you want and you can have it in small frame for your desk, a big frame for above the fire, a round frame, a lightbox, a collage, a panorama, a jigsaw.
RHYS: How much?
MR JONES: It’s really expensive, but if you want to have a constant reminder of how much you love each other I think there’s nothing better than a massive picture of you both laughing together, and the memory of the day flooding back.
RHYS: Aww. I’ll think about it.
RHYS: Did you ever take your ex?
MR JONES: No. We had an appointment, but we never made it.
RHYS: What happened?
MR JONES: Torchwood happened.
RHYS: Oh. She died?
MR JONES: Yes.
RHYS: How?
MR JONES: Painfully.
RHYS: I’m sorry.
MR JONES: Yeah. Everyone is.
RHYS: What was her name?
RHYS: Sorry I’m nosy-ing.
MR JONES: It’s okay. It was a long time ago.
MR JONES: Her name was Lisa.
RHYS: It must’ve been hard for you.
MR JONES: Hard? Imagine losing Gwen when there’s nothing you can do but watch her die.
RHYS: I can’t imagine losing Gwen. Jesus Ianto, I’m so sorry.
MR JONES: It’s okay :^)
MR JONES: Besidessssss I have Jack now!
RHYS: Yay!
MR JONES: Anyway … I’ll see you Wednesday then?
RHYS: :) yep!
MR JONES: Gdgd.
RHYS: See ya.
MR JONES: Night x
MR JONES has left the conversation
FIN
N/B: I wrote this chapter before the release of "The House That Jack Built", and the idea of Ianto having a Memory Palace was also investigated in that book. I totally squee-ed when I saw it. MASSIVE I TOLD YOU SO!
Next Part | Previous Part | Torchwood Index | Request a Convo/Prose Fic
Chapter: 11
Characters: Ianto Jones, Rhys Willams
Author: a_silver_story
Genre Humour
Rating: 15, one cuss
Warnings: Implied M.M
Disclaimer: If I owned anything in this, I'd be a rich rich rich bitch. However, I am not a rich rich rich bitch so you may all, therefore, assume I own nothing. Which I don't. It all belongs RTD and the BBC, in case any of you didn't know.
Summary: Ianto and Rhys bond over a chat about wardrobes and metaphorical buses.
01 | Ianto and Gwen's IM's
02 | Ianto and Southern Comfort
03 | Skiving with Captain Andy
04 | Ianto and Jack's IMs
05 | Tosh? Gossiping? Never!
06 | What Toshiko Saw ... (Prose)
07 | Captain Andy handles the Force
08 | Ianto and SOCO Strikes Back
09 | Into the Boardroom (Prose)
10 | Ianto's, Tosh's, Gwen and Jack's IMs
RHYS has entered the conversation
RHYS: Evenin’
MR JONES: Hey Rhys.
RHYS: Hows u?
RHYS: And for a secret organization, isn’t a hotmail account a little easy to hack?
MR JONES: You can’t start sentences with connectives.
MR JONES: There’s nothing official in here. Just a couple of things from my sister and few emails offering me penis enlargements.
RHYS: Haha! That kind of spam really gets on my wick.
MR JONES: I don’t mind the spam … it’s the ones forwarded from my mam that really hurt.
RHYS: LMAO
MR JONES: How’s the wardrobe and shelf working out?
RHYS: Fine, fine. Stuff goes on the shelf and doesn’t fall off and stuff goes in the wardrobe and the rail doesn’t fall down … I’d say it was a job well done, mate.
MR JONES: … no thanks to you ;^P
RHYS: Oi! I was as helpful as a supervisor could be! *hmph*
MR JONES: You made an alright cuppa tea.
RHYS: lol
RHYS: Just wondering, but would you fancy coming out for a drink sometime with me and the lads?
MR JONES: Really?
RHYS: Yeahhh. I figured you’re a bit of alright. If you’re anything like Gwen, you’re not getting out as much as you need to. Why not come out with me and the lads? Have a drink, talk rugby, harass the tourists, laugh at the Valley kids on a night out …
MR JONES: Sounds fun! When are you usually out?
RHYS: Fridays, Saturdays and the odd Wednesday.
MR JONES: I think I can make this Wednesday. Is it alright if I invite Jack?
RHYS: Oh aye. If he does come, please tell him to keep his hands to himself. My mates are alright, but our local’s a bit … judgmental of fella’s who “bat on the women’s team” if you get me …
MR JONES: Keep his hands to himself?? I’ll leave him at home. It’ll be easier for him.
RHYS: You two live together now?
MR JONES: Not exactly.
RHYS: Oh
RHYS: How exactly?
MR JONES: I got to my flat once a week or so. Do laundry, dust, hoover, check my post. Sometimes we stay there. Get away from the hub, y’know.
RHYS: Ah.
RHYS: How long you two been together then?
MR JONES: Not sure. I estimate … technically … about 2 years.
RHYS: Not sure? “estimate”?
MR JONES: It’s complicated.
RHYS: Okie dokie. Won’t pry.
MR JONES: Wow. So opposites do attract … Gwen would have me on the floor in a headlock until I told her the exact details of everything that had ever happened in my life ever.
RHYS: lmao I can see what you mean. I decided to be a bit romantic and buy her flowers the other day.
RHYS: She started getting all suspicious, asking what I’d done, what did she need to forgive me for … she didn’t stop asking questions until she had my exact psychological chain of thought as to why I needed to buy her flowers filed away in her mind.
MR JONES: Oh I doubt Gwen files. I’d imagine her mind is like an endless corridor full of posters and post-it notes that form some kind of organized chaos.
RHYS: yeah. I can see her mind being like that.
MR JONES: I bet yours is like a map.
RHYS: Yeah! It kind of is, actually!
MR JONES: Everything remembered in sequence.
RHYS: Yeah. I’d never thought of it like that before! How’d you figure that out?
MR JONES: You work in logistics and you’re a sports fan.
RHYS: Ahhh.
RHYS: What’s your head like?
MR JONES: I have a Memory Palace. Rooms filled with tables and filing cabinets and bookshelves. Each room is for something different. So if I need to remember, say, what was the first present I got on my 18th birthday, I can go to the third door on the left on the ground floor and find the information stored there.
RHYS: Wow. I think I need to start doing that. How do you manage to keep all that?
MR JONES: Triggers. Remember which room you might want, and everything triggers from there.
MR JONES: I got the idea from Hannibal Lecter.
RHYS: The cannibal?
MR JONES: Yep.
RHYS: Ha. As long as you don’t eat Gwen, I’m fine with that.
MR JONES: … tell me the double entendre wasn’t intended.
RHYS: :o! No is wasn’t!
MR JONES: Sorry, it’s just with Jack every comment is usually innuendo and you have to be careful what you say.
RHYS: Bloody Americans. Over-worked, over-sexed … and over here.
MR JONES: I believe the correct response to that would be: LMAO?
RHYS: Heh ^_^
MR JONES: I , too, am a fan of Chicken Run.
RHYS: Well, it is one of the best British films ever made.
MR JONES: Even if it did have Mel Gibson in it.
RHYS: Ne’er a truer word been said, my friend.
MR JONES: Soooo …
MR JONES: Who’ll be coming on Wednesday? Could I have a few names to go by? Something to fit a face to when I get there?
RHYS: Well, there’s Daf. He’s mental.
RHYS: There’s Daffyd. He’s mental.
RHYS: There’s Nick. He’s mental.
RHYS: Then there’s Banana Boat. He’s quite normal.
MR JONES: Ahhh I know who Banana Boat is. Best man at your wedding?
RHYS: That’s the one.
MR JONES: He carried a torch for Tosh, if I remember rightly.
RHYS: He did!
MR JONES: She still doesn’t want to know, in case he’s wondering.
RHYS: Oh he spotted another attractive woman who had a post code. He probably won’t be able to place her.
MR JONES: Haha! He sounds like Jack.
MR JONES: Probably not as successful, though.
RHYS: No haha.
MR JONES: Probably because he doesn’t have the coat. ;)
RHYS: That is an impressive coat. I bet it’s a bastard to keep clean.
MR JONES: Not really. I think he’s used some kind of alien technology on it to make it magical. It never has a hole in it, never stains. Hardly ever goes to the dry cleaners - well, hardly ever used to. I’ve managed to get its number of visits up to twice a year.
RHYS: Haha. I’m guessing you’re the wife in this relationship?
MR JONES: My display name says Mr. Jones. MISTER. *hmph*
RHYS: Haha!
MR JONES: I suppose I am quite wifey.
RHYS: Ianto? You know how you like … ride on the other bus, so to speak?
MR JONES: I don’t permanently ride the “other” bus. I have a lifetime pass for the one you’re on, too.
RHYS: Oh … Well, swing both ways, then?
MR JONES: Yeah …
RHYS: Do you understand women better?
MR JONES: Er … I don’t know.
RHYS: I’ve been wondering … if I ever thought Gwen was wavering away … what should I do?
MR JONES: Woahhh … I’ve only known you socially for a few hours and you’re asking me for relationship advice?
RHYS: Sorry.
MR JONES: It’s okay. It’s always easier to talk to people you don’t properly know about stuff like that I suppose.
RHYS: Yeah.
MR JONES: Well …
MR JONES: I think you should just … I dunno. Clean the oven. Wash out the fridge. Make her a cup of tea in the morning.
RHYS: I do that anyway.
MR JONES: … so you’re a wife too?
RHYS: Yes! Haha!
MR JONES: Do something couple-y. Something that’ll stand out. I’m not one for spontaneity myself, but I think Gwen is. What about a day out to Blackpool Pleasure Beach?
RHYS: I’m a bag holder.
MR JONES: Ahh okay.
MR JONES: When I was with my ex-girlfriend, she was always nagging on at me to take her to Venture.
RHYS: Venture?
MR JONES: A photographers. You go in a white room, take your shoes and socks off and fool around and have a laugh while the photographer takes pictures. Then you pick one you want and you can have it in small frame for your desk, a big frame for above the fire, a round frame, a lightbox, a collage, a panorama, a jigsaw.
RHYS: How much?
MR JONES: It’s really expensive, but if you want to have a constant reminder of how much you love each other I think there’s nothing better than a massive picture of you both laughing together, and the memory of the day flooding back.
RHYS: Aww. I’ll think about it.
RHYS: Did you ever take your ex?
MR JONES: No. We had an appointment, but we never made it.
RHYS: What happened?
MR JONES: Torchwood happened.
RHYS: Oh. She died?
MR JONES: Yes.
RHYS: How?
MR JONES: Painfully.
RHYS: I’m sorry.
MR JONES: Yeah. Everyone is.
RHYS: What was her name?
RHYS: Sorry I’m nosy-ing.
MR JONES: It’s okay. It was a long time ago.
MR JONES: Her name was Lisa.
RHYS: It must’ve been hard for you.
MR JONES: Hard? Imagine losing Gwen when there’s nothing you can do but watch her die.
RHYS: I can’t imagine losing Gwen. Jesus Ianto, I’m so sorry.
MR JONES: It’s okay :^)
MR JONES: Besidessssss I have Jack now!
RHYS: Yay!
MR JONES: Anyway … I’ll see you Wednesday then?
RHYS: :) yep!
MR JONES: Gdgd.
RHYS: See ya.
MR JONES: Night x
MR JONES has left the conversation
FIN
N/B: I wrote this chapter before the release of "The House That Jack Built", and the idea of Ianto having a Memory Palace was also investigated in that book. I totally squee-ed when I saw it. MASSIVE I TOLD YOU SO!
Next Part | Previous Part | Torchwood Index | Request a Convo/Prose Fic