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Comments 6

candypumpkins December 26 2007, 00:37:43 UTC
*safe hugs* if you want them.

I know that seeing that kind of control is hard. I'm glad that you don't have to be in that enviornment much (or so it sounds like). I hope you can enjoy the rest of your day.

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mauvedragon December 26 2007, 08:32:53 UTC
Thanks for the hugs.

I spent the rest of today at a low key BBQ with friends and I have relaxed.

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briar_witch December 26 2007, 00:54:13 UTC
I've heard that whole "you shouldn't take things so seriously" bit of b.s. before too. It's how some people attempt to minimize our concerns, and try to justify their own behavior by putting the onus on us. It's ridiculous.

It's difficult to see someone you care about in an abusive relationship. The most you can do is be there for your dad, and listen to him. Maybe try to get him away from the household for short periods of time by going out and doing something together.

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mauvedragon December 26 2007, 08:33:58 UTC
He works fulltime still. We have lunch together occasionally, although mum originally tried to complain that I was seeing him without her.

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_secretthoughts December 26 2007, 20:51:58 UTC
I agree. I've seen a lot of abusers use "just joking around" as a justification. "I wasn't serious!" If anything, that makes it worse.

Yeah, just be there for him, and maybe tell him how you feel if it won't cause any trouble.

*hugs*

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neva_butterfly December 26 2007, 01:46:12 UTC
I'm so sorry. At one point I really resolved myself to the idea that my father would die shortly from the level of abuse from my mother, and I resented that nobody seemed to take it seriously because it was all psychological and trickery (like sleep deprivation and screwing with medications) as opposed to outright beatings. Finally my father got out.

Anyway, it's just misery to see it going on and be helpless to do anything about it. I felt like Cassandra or something, I could see it all and everyone was in denial and wouldn't listen.

It really is a shock to realize that abusers simply don't conceive of other people as actual individuals, but really only see all of us as existing to fill their needs. So things like choosing our own clothing or getting upset when we see someone being bullied aren't allowed.

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