Fuck I don't wanna go to work. I'd rather be moving shit into my new awesome ass house.

FUCKING... MOOOOEEE'S!! YOU SWIM IN MY PISS!

God I'm so hungry and tired. I haven't eaten or slept too much in days.

I just saw the god damn coolest t-shirt in the world. This dude had a on a red t-shirt with a picture of a shotgun on it, and under the shotgun it said "Zombie Repellent"

I just came all the way up to the fuckin library to finish my biology lab report. See, the reason I had to come to the library and not do it at home was because I don't know how to insert a graph into a paper on my computer, but I know how to do it on a PC at the library. However, in order for said graph to display the needed information, I ( Read more... )

I just took a pretty big, nasty shit, and wiped my ass with John Barrow, because according to his commercials on TV, he's double-ply and quilted. In other words, he can soak up much more of my doo doo than Max Burns. I don't really know if that's true though, because Max Burns said the same thing in his add. He can soak up twice as much hershey- ( Read more... )

I just got a phone call saying that I won a free cruise to the Bahamas! How about that shit?

Wow.

I feel like a new man.

I just took the biggest dump in the history of the universe.

So, I bought God of War for Playstation 2 the other day, and this is what I have to say about it ( Read more... )

1. I'll respond with something random I like about you ( Read more... )