TITLE: Nightmares in Waking Life
AUTHOR:
38gnihsurcRATING: en.sea.xvii overall
PAIRINGS: All the pairings from the previous two stories---and some new ones, too
SPOILERS: Up until Micah for AB; the whole TV series for the Buffyverse;
Alive at Last and
Living Underground.
WARNINGS: A little bit of fur... bdsm... the usuals for Anita's crazy, crazy world.
DISCLAIMER: I don't own anyone---except for any original characters that I whip up to do my bidding ;)
NOTE: This story is a sequel to
Living Underground.
Previous chapters:
1,
2,
3,
4,
5,
6,
7,
8,
9-11,
12,
13,
14-5,
16-7,
18-9,
20-1,
22,
23,
24-5,
26-7,
28,
29,
30 PART THIRTY-ONE
After spending some time with Buffy and Dawn at the apartment, Faith and Willow went back to the Circus of the Damned. Damian wasn't there---he was still working---but Faith said she was exhausted and wanted to eat some yogurt before taking a nap. Willow knew Asher wouldn't be there, but sleep wasn't on her mind.
She was hoping for a few minutes of peace and quiet, in all honesty. Between Perdita's and Buffy's visits, the bad dreams, and everything else that seemed to be happening, Willow felt like her mind was full of swirling thoughts that couldn't be easily resolved.
In an attempt to relax, she decided to have a shower. She wanted a bath, but she wasn't sure a bath would be completely safe, so she opted for the vertical version of hot-water-therapy.
She stepped under the spray of water and didn't bother doing anything but remaining underneath the steady stream. It tingled as it coursed over her bare skin, turning her pale flesh a rosy pink hue; its temperature seeped into her weary muscles and did its best to relieve her tension.
After thirty minutes, Willow hadn't resolved anything. However, she had managed to relax a bit.
She had slipped into a pair of jogging pants and had been reaching for a tank top when she heard her cellular phone ringing. She wondered who it would be; her curiosity overrode her need to put on her shirt.
"Hello?"
"Hey, Willow."
She smiled and set her shirt on the bed. "Angel, hi," she murmured. "It's good to hear from---" She stopped short and her smile vanished. If Angel was calling, it could be because the Powers that Be were pointing towards St. Louis again, and if that was the case, there could be a big and bad reason for a lot of what was happening around her. "Wait a second... what's going on?"
"Can't I just want to hear from you?"
"Well... okay. If you're sure."
"And I thought I had trust issues."
Willow smiled a bit again. "Well, yeah. So, what's up?"
"We're a state and a bit away... just made me think about you, is all," Angel replied. "We're helping a gated community get rid of their demons."
"And by help, I'm guessing you mean in an uninvited sort of way."
Angel paused. Then, he said, "They have a demon in their sewer that they perform tributes to, but Loraqu'it invited a bunch of newcomers in and it's been... messy." He sighed. "There's a lot of migration going on. L.A. is pretty close to dead these days."
"Really? Why the move East? New hellmouth?"
"I don't know," Angel said.
Willow paced across the bedroom, in front of the bed she shared with Asher. "Is this why you're calling?" she asked. "You want me to put my magic feelers out there and see what's been happening?"
"This isn't why I'm calling---really---but, I'd appreciate it," Angel told her. "I feel like I'm on my own. Gunn's nursing a wound from a vampire, of all things, and Spike's more flighty than ever. Even Illyria's been off. I'm just glad Connor's not with us right now."
"Where---"
"Dissertation work."
"Oh." Willow paused and then said, "Is Gunn gonna be okay?"
"Yeah. He was discharged last night... he'll heal. He's just slow-moving right now."
"Not the best when your back's against the gate, so to speak."
"Not so much," Angel agreed.
Willow continued to pace as she asked her next question. "What's going on with Illyria? Do you think she and Spike---"
"They already tried that, a couple of years ago. It really, really didn't work out for anyone involved---or anyone trying not to be involved," Angel interjected. "So, I don't think they're causing each other's issues. But, Illyria's acting like she's a teenager. She's sullen, moody... and when you can do as much damage as she can, those are two moods that lead to a lot of wrecked walls and furniture. She refuses missions. She's never refused a mission before."
"Maybe she's tired."
Angel sighed again. "I don't know."
"Maybe you guys are just tired," Willow suggested. "I mean, you go at it pretty hard. You're all allowed to have off-days. Everyone does. Maybe you should tell the Powers to back off for a day or two."
Angel chuckled a little bit. "Yeah, sure, I'll get right on that."
Willow smiled. "I'm sure it'll go over real well," she murmured.
"How's Asher?"
"Oh," Willow said, surprised that Angel was asking after her lover. "He's... okay. We've all been sorta stressed out lately, but... overall, things have been good."
"What's wrong?"
Willow sighed and sat down on the bed. "Nothing. I mean, no... that's not right. But... nothing I should be complaining about."
"Willow."
She sighed again. "Well, for starters, Buffy's here for a visit. Faith's having a baby, which should be the sign of the apocalypse, but it's not... actually, it's good news, but..." she trailed off. She hadn't realised that it bothered her. She never thought it did bother her. But, it had slipped out in a way that made it seem like a problem. She didn't want to think to much about those particular feelings so, before Angel could say anything, she resumed speaking. "And, on top of that, it seems to be earthquake season and some big bad's toying with us like a cat plays with a mouse."
"Who?"
"The Mother of All Darkness."
Angel's silence was enough of a response.
"Well said, Angel," Willow deadpanned.
"I thought she was asleep."
"Not so much. She's not awake... but, she's not asleep. It's fun."
"Are you okay?"
Willow nodded even though she didn't have an actual audience. "Oh, yeah... it was just a nice dream-visit. But, she's been bugging Anita for a while, so it seems like something might be up."
"What else is going on?"
"I'm a suspect in a murder investigation," Willow said, remembering the meeting she had had at Guilty Pleasures. "Oh, and I think I'm becoming some sort of emotional succubus. Never a dull moment here."
Angel sighed softly. "Are you okay? Really, Willow...?"
"I'm fine," Willow assured him. "Asher and Richard have sicced bodyguards on me."
"Yes, but---"
"I'm getting better control on the emotion thing... and Jean-Claude's lawyer actually found me a security-camera alibi."
Angel sighed again, but the sound was less burdened by tension. "Well, that lightens the load."
"Darn tootin'," Willow agreed.
"How's Buffy?"
"Trying to get used Dawn's new weird life," Willow replied. "She's not very impressed... but, she is trying. I think."
Angel chuckled a little. "I can imagine. And Faith?"
"She's good. Her belly's growing."
Willow was glad Angel couldn't see her frown.
"Willow? What is it?"
Apparently, he could hear the frown, though.
"It's nothing."
"Willow."
She sighed. "It's just... I'm tired, Angel. And last year was really, really hard... I thought I was over it, but I don't think I am," she confessed, rambling as her voice picked up speed. "I want to be happy for her. And for Damian. But... I was... too. Y'know? And... Xander... then, not so much. And I didn't think I wanted any of that stuff but maybe I do. Every time Faith complains about morning sickness or stretching her leather pants---I didn't even really know it was bothing me. I thought I was past it. But---"
"Whoa. Slow down and take a breath, Willow."
She did and the sad and panicky feeling around her heart faded.
"Now what?" she asked.
"I haven't gotten that far yet," he admitted. "But, I don't think that is something that can be fixed in one phone call." He paused and then said, "You're allowed to be happy for her and sad at the same time, Willow. You don't need to feel guilty about it."
"You think so?" she whispered.
"And Faith probably understands," Angel added. "Have you talked to Asher? Or Richard?"
"A little bit," she replied.
Angel hesitated, but eventually he spoke again. "You didn't say anything about this the last time I called, around Christmas. Has something changed since then?"
"I..." Willow had been about about to tell him that she didn't think anything had changed, but then, she quickly came to the conclusion that a lot had changed so she trailed off as she put a better answer together. "Buffy's here, making me feel like I should question my life. I don't think I've slept a full night since around Christmas. I keep having awful dreams, about Edward killing me... about Xander and Buffy killing me... about... about Mommy Dearest making me her own... maybe... do you think... yeah. And all of that other stuff, too. It's just... you know, piling on."
"Willow, I think you need to get it together," Angel said. "If you can take a vacation, take Asher and... Richard, if you want, too, and just get away. Jean-Claude must have allies who would let you into their territory."
Willow frowned and nodded. "You're probably right about that."
"I've had months of bad dreams, Willow," he told her, "and I've even had a few nights of dreams that were so awful I nearly dusted myself just to make them stop---"
"Christmas Eve," Willow murmured, remembering Buffy's story about that day the sun hid behind falling snow.
"Yeah," he continued, "and keeping them to myself didn't help. You spend so much time on police cases and... in the, ah, underground, that it's not unnatural to be processing things differently." He paused and then quickly added: "Of course, the dreams about the Mother of All Darkness are probably more than dreams in a lot of cases, but I think you have Jean-Claude and Asher on the case there, right?"
"Pretty much, yeah," she said in response to his question. "Did you... ever dream about the Master?"
Angel snorted loudly. "Willow, when I was with him, I was too busy keeping my head up Darla's skirts that nothing else mattered."
"Oh, Angel... gross."
He chuckled darkly. "Yeah, well, then after her, I was tormenting Dru... and then doing my best to make sure Spike stayed as downtrodden as ever..."
"When you had your soul did you ever dream about the Master?"
There was a long silence. It took Angel a few minutes to reply---so long that Willow actually had to look at her phone to see if the call had been dropped.
"When he was going to return."
"Before Buffy smashed his bones?"
"Yeah."
"Were they... real dreams?"
"Willow."
She sighed. "I'm sorry... I just... if it's too personal."
"It's okay, Willow," he assured her. "Look, it's been a long time, and I still don't really like looking at that side of myself, y'know?"
"I understand."
Willow heard a loud commotion---a drunk Spike, by the sound of it---and then Angel grunted. "I better go," he told her a moment later.
"Make sure Spike doesn't trash the place," she said lightly. "Call me if you hear anything about a new hot spot close to St. Louis... and I'll put my feelers out and see if I find anything. If I do, I'll call."
"Thanks, Willow," Angel said before ending the call.
She set her phone down on the bedside table and stood up. She reached for the tank top, but was stopped when she heard Asher clearing his throat behind her.
"Have you been there long?" she asked, smiling a little at him over her shoulder.
"Do you always hold topless phone conferences, mon colibri?"
Willow blushed. "I didn't plan on it. He caught me before I could get my shirt on."
"Do not put it on, s'il te plaît," he insisted quietly.
The witch turned and faced him. He was still smiling a little, but she saw more seriousness in his facial expression than anything else. Her first impulse was to ask how much of her conversation did he hear, but her second impulse was to remain silent and let Asher take the lead; the latter won out, so she left the shirt on the bed and walked towards him. He seemed pleased that she approached, making her glad that she chose her actions more carefully.
"I've missed you," he admitted. "I know you are with your friend and we do spend time together, but..."
"I know," she murmured when he trailed off. "I miss you, too."
Asher settled his hands upon her bare waist and he drew her in closer. "Do you have plans now?"
Willow shook her head. "Nope," she whispered. "I just came home to relax a little."
One of his hands moved to her forehead. He rubbed his index finger over the space between her eyebrows. "Angel's call did not do that," he commented. He smiled. "How can I assist you, mon colibri?"
Willow chuckled. "Well, being here is a help," she told him. "I thought you would be working all night."
"I heard you came home," he told her in a quiet voice. "I wished to see you, alone."
"And here we are," she said after flashing him a little grin.
The blond vampire wrapped his arms around her, settling his hands in the small of her back. Willow sighed happily and snuggled into his body; she shivered as her nipples brushed over the lace on his shirt, feeling her body temperature increase in reaction to the stimulation.
"Je t'aime," he whispered.
"Me, too," Willow murmured. She lifted her head and smiled at him. "So, what should we do with our free time?"
Asher smirked and began to move them towards the bed. Willow chuckled, but she didn't stumble; she followed his lead until the backs of her knees made contact with the bed. The vampire's hands slid below the waistband of her jogging pants and cupped her from behind to hold her firmly against his body.
"I believe we can think of a few things, between us," he whispered before kissing her lips once, entirely too briefly for the witch's liking.
"Mmm... probably," Willow agreed.
"I want to feed from you, mon colibri," he whispered.
Willow shivered at the thought of Asher's fangs piercing her neck, and the mutual enjoyment they received, and then she blushed and leaned into his chest.
"Mon colibri?"
"Sounds good," she whispered.
"Would you mind waiting for me to bathe?" he asked. "I would like to remove the scents of the workplace from my hair and skin."
"I smell a little Nathaniel... some booze... smoke... Jean-Claude..." Willow murmured after she inhaled deeply from the frills on his shirt. "You had a busy night," she said in a teasing tone of voice.
Asher snorted. "Hardly," he said on a chuckle. "I wish to have a 'busy night,' as you put it, with you."
"Go get cleaned up," she insisted, after kissing his chin. "I'll wait in bed for you."
"Take off the pants," he instructed, "and wait for me on the bed."
"Yes, sir," she teased.