AB/BtVS FF: NIghtmares in Waking Life 12/?
TITLE: Nightmares in Waking Life
AUTHOR: 38gnihsurc
RATING: en.sea.xvii overall
PAIRINGS: All the pairings from the previous two stories---and some new ones, too
SPOILERS: Up until Micah for AB; the whole TV series for the Buffyverse; Alive at Last and Living Underground.
WARNINGS: A little bit of fur... bdsm... the usuals for Anita's crazy, crazy world.
DISCLAIMER: I don't own anyone---except for any original characters that I whip up to do my bidding ;)
NOTE: This story is a sequel to Living Underground.
Previous chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9-11
Aha, I managed to get another chapter done!
PART TWELVE
"Ah, ma petite," Jean-Claude murmured as he turned his body so he, too, was leaning against the brick building, "it is lovely that you and mon loup could join us."
"Save the sweet talk," Anita shot back as she shoved her hands into her suit jacket's pockets and marched towards them. "What were you doing out here?"
"Looking for my témoin," the Master of the City said. He mimicked her a bit by putting his hands on his hips. "I caught the tail end of his human servant performing a very lovely service for him." He smirked and tilted his head; some of the remaining sparkles shimmered in the light from the security lamps. "One you enjoy quite often, ma petite." He shrugged, but it wasn't a casual gesture as his shrugs usually were. It was staged, used to inflict something upon the necromancer, who blushed and looked down at the ground for a brief moment. Willow wasn't entirely sure what was going on. "I felt his pleasure and I wished to hold him while he recovered," Jean-Claude continued. "Will you begrudge me that?"
Anita frowned. "I saw you kissing Willow."
"You saw me kissing her cheeks. You also saw us putting distance between each other." Jean-Claude arched an eyebrow. "What have I done wrong, Anita?"
The Executioner's eyes darkened. She frowned and sighed. "That isn't what it looked like," she muttered.
"Some trust would be appreciated. We are both adults, even in this new, trying time."
Richard's brow furrowed. "What d'you mean, Jean-Claude?"
The vampire sighed and straightened his shoulders. "Surely you have noticed it, mon loup." He brushed his fingers against the hem of his shirt as if he was flicking away lint or a stray thread---but Willow knew neither would be on his clothes. "Ma petite and the others have noticed."
Willow frowned. "You mean... my touchy-feeliness."
"Exactement."
Anita frowned, again, too. "You think this is... what? A modified strain of the ardeur?"
Jean-Claude gave a much more graceful shrug. "You had been given that hunger once we were bonded, once... certain powers were shared. It has not been that long since we shared our powers and opened our shields to each other." He paused and said, "We have seen both you and Willow enraptured by mon loup, and while he is charming... and while you both love him dearly... ma petite, have you noticed that you two have not once argued the way you are so often prone to do?" He paused for effect and let the words sink into Anita's mind. "I already am aware that you've noticed how much more tactile ma chérie is becoming. I have noticed how my hungers increase when I am with you or near our witch. It is..."
"Like we're playing off each other," Willow said quietly when Jean-Claude trailed off to find the right group of words.
"You said as much moments ago," Asher murmured while putting his arms around her. He pressed his lips to her flushed forehead; she appreciated the gesture because it cooled and comforted her simultaneously. "Perhaps it is feeding, mon colibri."
Willow slid her hand along Asher's arm. "Like if I'm increasing or mirroring the effects of..." she trailed off and sighed. "But, that doesn't explain why I can suddenly feel Dawn's emotions and know what she's feeling---"
"Fuck."
"Well said, ma petite." Jean-Claude turned to Asher and Willow, but he looked at the redhead when he spoke. "We had discovered that Anita's version of l'ardeur allows her to see inside the hearts of those she embraces. Micah came to her that way. She wanted a less complicated lover, she wanted support, she wanted a partner she could share daily pleasures with---"
"But---"
Jean-Claude smiled at cut Willow off with his own words. "True, we love each other. But, can you see us, sharing a bed daily, cooking together, watching movies together?"
"I think you'd try it if you were offered the chance," Willow replied.
"But, forever?"
Willow smiled. "I can't see you leaving the Circus, or giving up constantly redecorating and redefining your living space."
He tilted his head as his smile stretched. "I would drive her, as she puts it, 'out of her mind.'"
"Maybe," Willow conceded.
"Et, alors, while she was wanting those things, he in turn wanted a safe haven for his pard. He wanted someone to protect him and his own from Chimera. L'ardeur made it so. And when votre chaton first became her pomme de sang, he wanted to be loved for more than what he could endure or provide with his body. She resisted the final steps of their---"
"Enough, Jean-Claude, we get it."
Willow looked at both Richard and Anita, who had spoken at the same time. She fought her smile easily because she was more curious than amused.
"What did Richard get out of it?"
"Ah, the exception to the rule," Jean-Claude said.
Asher muttered under his breath: "As always."
The witch nudged the blond vampire with her elbow against his ribs. At the same time, the necromancer put a hand on the Ulfric's chest before the Ulfric could say anything in retaliation.
The Master of the City ignored both men and turned his focus back to Willow. "Since his deepest desire was to be human again, it was out of l'ardeur's grips. However, I believe something has changed."
"He wants a wife," Willow said quietly. She knew Richard couldn't give up easily on his dream of a house with children and a dog. Willow loved him, but she wasn't always sure that his ideals were practical. "He wants a partner... and that's why... we were so wrapped up in him. It's not romantic as much as it's supportive. Mine is strictly emotional. Anita's is deep desires. Yours is... what? Lust?"
Jean-Claude put a finger to his pinkish lips. "I believe it is more complicated than that, ma chérie."
"Why?"
Anita was the one that spoke first. "Because he's an incubus and I'm a succubus. Male and female... different. We do some of the same things to feed, but... there are some differences in mythology that may explain why you guys are reacting."
"Like?" Willow asked.
"Like, an incubus forces desire onto someone... or eases them into it... or whatever. But, it's an act that puts their desire on the other person. Scholars think its definition is better put as "something that oppresses," than anything else. In a way, they're right," the black-haired woman said. She looked at Jean-Claude with a gentle expression on her face. "I'm not accusing you, Jean-Claude. I love you."
"Je t'aime, aussi, mais tu as raison." He paused and moved his hair over one shoulder with a precise, slight flick of his head. "You are a succubus. Your nature is to draw repressed feelings out of your so-called victims. Perhaps, while I impose my feelings upon another."
Richard shook his head and then tugged on the skirt he was still (miraculously) wearing. "I don't get what this has to do with me and Willow," he told them.
"I've been drawing feelings out of people," Willow said to him. "I touched Dawn and I could feel how happy she was to know how Jason felt about her... and at the same, I could feel how sad she was because he cares about her so much. When I touch Asher, it's like... our marks are stronger. I feel warmer. I don't know. I knew what he wanted me to do... when we were doing stuff." She blushed. Asher smothered a chuckle into her hair and she pressed onward. "But, with you, too... our conversations are more eye-opening than they've been in a while. Maybe that's my fault. Maybe I'm drawing things out of you."
"Yeah, but when Anita has the ardeur, she needs to---"
"To what, Richard?"
He sighed. "Look, Anita, it's sexual with you. It starts sexual, it ends sexual. Willow isn't describing something based on lust or someone's sex drive, so how do you know it's the same thing?"
"It's her power, Richard," Anita said, looking at him while motioning towards the witch. "When we bonded... when we opened the marks, do you remember how her energy felt? I'll never forget it. It wasn't cold or scary or... well, it didn't make me think about the grave or sex. It was like a warm blanket and a fireplace or... hot chocolate and ice skating. It was comfort. It wasn't lust."
Willow frowned. "So, I'm feeding off of people's emotions?" she asked, not liking the way it sounded. "What'll I do if I don't get 'em? Go crazy?"
"Hungry," Anita suggested. "But I don't think it's like stealing their emotions. More like bringing them to the surface."
"Am I taking energy from it?"
She shrugged. "I don't know. It might just be so gradual, throughout the day and night... that you don't gorge on energy all at once."
"Grazing as opposed to feasting," she said.
Anita nodded. "Maybe. Does it feel different when you touch a human versus a vampire or lycanthrope?"
"Most people I touch are connected to me in some way. Dawn and Faith are the only ones... really, so it's hard to know. It may be because Dawn was the Key and Faith's a slayer. How do we know?" she asked.
Asher rubbed Willow's shoulder. "We test."
"Test?" Willow echoed.
Jean-Claude nodded. "Oui. Since it is not lust you feed upon, it may be a relatively safe process. We can ask for two or three of each group, perhaps. Some powerful, some not. And you can test yourself this way, under supervision."
"No sex," Willow stipulated.
"Non, if that is what you wish," Jean-Claude said with a little smile which told Willow that he would not mind sampling such delightful wares if he were in her shoes. "But, I believe it is best if we test this new blade before it slices us."
The witch understood him. She believed he was correct, but she wasn't sure she wanted to be the one who tasted the emotions of so many people. Part of her hoped it was something she had gained because she was becoming a powerful witch---an empath, maybe---or because she was with so many people she loved and she couldn't help but feel what they were feeling.
"How can you be so sure I have some sort of residual ardeur power?" Richard asked when they lapsed into silence. "How come Asher doesn't have one?"
"Perhaps it is only something Jean-Claude can share with humans," Asher shot back, "or perhaps l'ardeur has deemed by body an unworthy vessel? There could be many reasons." He snarled at the Ulfric. "At least I am not bending women to my will!"
"I am not!"
Anita and Willow both looked at Richard. They both wanted to say something, but neither knew how to say it. Willow felt like the words were on the tip of her tongue---it was as if she knew what was wrong but could not give breath to her voice. The more she looked at Richard, those words melted off of her tongue and dripped away.
Just as she started to slip out of Asher's arms---most likely, she guessed, with the intent to take Richard's hand in hers---she realised what she was doing and she shook her head. Anita, too, seemed to be struggling free of something.
"When it was Belle Morte, it felt like my insides were taffy, being pulled and warmed," Willow said quietly. "Allura's was the same. I've felt bits of Jean-Claude's from being at Guilty Pleasures, and it's more like swimming in cool lake water on a warm night. This... this feels like... walking through vines or cobwebs... something that wants to hold me in place."
"Vines," Anita agreed. "A warm garden or jungle."
"Kinda, yeah," Willow said with a nod.
Richard's eyes widened and then narrowed. "I... you mean, I'm making you---"
"No!" Willow said quickly. "We both love you for different reasons, and that was before we opened our shields to each other. It's like... tonight, you've been insecure---and no one is judging you---but I've felt sort of drawn to you all night, whenever I can see you."
"Me, too," Anita admitted. "And we haven't been fighting. I've just been... we've been agreeing with each other."
The Ulfric frowned. "But, we want to get along."
The black-haired woman nodded. "Yeah. I hate fighting with you. It's been nice to have a peaceful night with you---"
"So, why is this wrong?"
"We're not saying it's wrong, mon loup," Jean-Claude insisted. "Merely something you need to be careful with."
"Why?"
Jean-Claude arched an eyebrow. "Coercision is illegal, if magical powers are used."
"There's actually a little wiggle room there," Willow said quietly. "It states witchcraft and its relatives, plus vampire powers... but I don't know how the ardeur qualifies."
Anita rolled her eyes and crossed her arms. Jean-Claude fought to hide a little smile as he looked to the witch and said, "But, of course, it would be wrong."
Willow smiled and nodded. "I know. I'm not saying we should go out and take over the city, using the ardeur as our weapon. Hell, I don't want a city at all. But, I don't know how the law classifies something that... is its own entity."
"Oh, you can't believe that," Richard scoffed.
The witch nodded. "I can. I do. It's been... sort of working through us. Going from one to another, getting what it wants and needs." She shrugged. "How is it not an entity of its own?"
He grunted. "And so now, it's one more beast in my head," he muttered. "Just great."
"Richard, I don't think it's like that," Anita said quietly. "You'll be okay. You just need to learn what it does."
"So it can control me?" he asked. "Look at what it's done to you!"
Anita scowled. "Just what are you trying to say?"
"If he---" Richard pointed at Jean-Claude, who had inched closer to Asher a moment before the Ulfric spoke. "---hadn't meddled, we'd be married! He'd be in his crypt, and we'd be married! We wouldn't be in this mess!"
Willow tried not to stiffen in Asher's gentle embrace. She tried not to let Richard's words get to her, but she couldn't ignore what he had said. Jean-Claude seemed to notice, for he reached behind his body and put his hand over hers as it rested against Asher's hip. Willow accepted the contact and she closed her eyes, letting both vampires offer their silent support.
Richard gasped and cursed under his breath. He made to move for Willow, but Jean-Claude and Asher shielded her from him; Anita stepped in front of the Ulfric, and she received a loud growl for her efforts.
"I can't believe you just said that, Richard," Anita said quietly, a gentle contrast to Richard's growl.
"I can, ma petite," Jean-Claude said. "For it is you that he had first, all to himself. Clouded by this power, his subconscious and conscious are warring... his mind is warring with his heart."
"How does he feed it?" Anita asked. "How does he stop the... um, the war?"
"We need to know for what he is desiring," Asher told the necromancer. "Is it simply marriage? Is it safety? Is it acceptance? What is Richard's true nature? These things need to be put into consideration first."
"He wants family... he wants safety and love... but not necessarily in a sex sort of way. His true nature is to protect and defend. It's like the emotional stuff I feel when I make contact with people."
Everyone turned to look at Willow.
"Well, it is," she said as she looked back at everyone.
Richard whimpered---the most submissive sound Willow had ever heard coming out of the werewolf king's mouth---and he dropped to his knees before he crawled forward. He managed to move around Jean-Claude and when he was in front of the redheaded witch, he put his face against her thighs.
"I didn't mean---"
Willow put her free hand on Richard's head and she stroked it through his hair. "Yeah, you did," she murmured, cutting him off. "Part of you did, anyway. But, you have to decide if your present's less valuable than your past because I can't help you with---"
"N-no!"
The word was broken and rough. There had been no time to polish a response or insistence. Its effect was better that way, though, because it nearly broke Willow's heart.
Richard lifted his head and looked at her. His eyes were filled with tears but they hadn't spilled over onto his cheeks.
"I'm sorry," he whispered hoarsely. He sat back on his heels and swallowed a lump in his throat before he tilted his head to one side and moved his hair away from his neck. Asher and Jean-Claude stiffened; Anita gasped. "Please, Willow. You're my Lupa. We've been blessed and I never want to lose you or what we share."
"The last time we did this, my wolf nearly escaped my body," Willow reminded him shakily.
He nodded. "I know, but... I offer my neck... my flesh and blood... to you, Lupa, to repair the damage between us that I caused."
Willow couldn't resist. She remembered how it felt at Danse Macabre and before she knew it, she was dropping to her knees and she was smoothing her hands over Richard's arms and shoulders. She flung open her shields as she licked Richard's neck; she wanted and needed the apology, but she felt the others needed it, too. When she bit down, she felt the other three in her head. When Richard's blood seeped into her mouth, she knew the other three were tasting it, too.
The Ulfric whimpered again. For the second time in a few minutes, Willow marveled at how the alpha male broke down under her touch. She realised that she could forgive what he had said earlier. She realised that he didn't break down his defenses for just anyone---that she was the woman for the Ulfric, while he chose Anita as the woman for the teacher, and that the man and beast would always war with each other like his mind would war with his heart.
She didn't drink much blood. She didn't need to because his offer of his neck was enough of an apology.
When she lifted her head, Asher hauled her to her feet and kissed her until she couldn't breathe. He licked every trace of the blood away and when he pulled back, his hands gripping her arms, she hung limply in his hold. He stole one more quick kiss and then, as Richard's arms sought Willow's waist, he released her.
Willow whimpered and managed to hug the Ulfric as he embraced her. She felt Asher behind her, brushing his hand over her head and neck. She was aware of Anita behind Richard; she could feel the other woman's hands brushing her arms occasionally. She sensed Jean-Claude was close by and she guessed he was between Anita and Asher.
"I didn't mean it," Richard whispered. "I was just so scared and frustrated and... I still am, but the thought of hurting you---"
"Shhh," Willow whispered back. She rubbed her hands up and down his spine. "I know," she murmured. "But, when you're scared and angry, you need to take a deep breath and then let us know what you're feeling. If you lash out, you're going to hurt everyone, and nothing's gonna get figured out. If you let us in, we can help."
He nodded and kissed her cheek after burrowing his nose and mouth into her hair. Her braid was loosening and she could feel strands of hair slipping out of the plait.
"I'll try," he whispered hoarsely. "But, I hate this sometimes. It's not what I had planned for my life and---"
"Our plans are allowed to change," Anita interrupted gently. "You seem to struggle with this more than everyone else here, but you're not alone. You don't need to cope on your own. Willow's right."
The witch smiled as she looked up at the necromancer. "Kills you to admit it, huh?" she teased.
Anita and Jean-Claude chuckled. Richard snuffled, his laughter to teary to be anything else. Asher's fingers tightened on Willow's shoulders.
"Not on this," Anita said, still smiling. She kissed the top of Richard's head. "C'mon, let's get you two out of the dirt. We'll sit on the steps and talk for a little while."
The werewolf king nodded and he allowed Anita and Jean-Claude to hoist him up to his feet. Asher gathered Willow into his arms.
A moment later, Willow was sitting on the steps that led to the door. Richard was sitting next to her, his head resting on her shoulder while Jean-Claude licked the blood from his wound. Asher had already had his fill from Willow's mouth; he was standing in front of them, Anita in his arms. No one was completely relaxed, but the mood was considerably less tense than it had been a little while ago.
"What does this mean?" Richard asked, his eyes less human than they had been before Willow bit his neck.
"It appears as if you and mon colibri are a matching pair, as are Anita and mon corbeau," Asher said. "Succubus and incubus. L'ardeur seems to have divided into physical desires and emotional desires. It is all love, but it is different forms of it." He shrugged when Jean-Claude lifted his head and looked at him. "Do you think I am mistaken?"
The Master of the City shrugged. "There may be something to your theory, mon chardonneret."
"How do we prove it?" Anita asked.
"We will have to test it," Jean-Claude said. "Among ourselves, of course, at first."
"When?" Willow asked. "Buffy's coming in a few days."
Jean-Claude leaned forward so he could see Willow. "Do you want to leave this discovery untested during the slayer's visit?" he inquired. "If this is permanent, if this is what we suspect it is, do you want to leave it unstudied while you attempt to bond again with your friend?"
Willow frowned. "You know I don't. That could... be bad. Emotion is just as bad as lust and desire, when abused." She paused and then added: "If this is what it is."
"Oui," Asher agreed. "It could be fluke. But, it could be more... we should discover what this means."
"I have a few days of vacation left," Richard mumbled. "Maybe I should stay at the Circus until we figure it out?"
"That may be a good idea, mon loup," Jean-Claude said. "Should I tell Jason to clean his room?"
The Ulfric shook his head. "I'll stay wherever other wolves are crashing," he replied.
"Jason and I sleep with them," Willow reminded him unnecessarily.
He nodded. "I know. If there's enough room... maybe I'll crash with you... if it's okay?"
Willow smiled and kissed his forehead. "You know it's okay," she murmured.
Anita sighed and accepted a kiss from Asher. "I'll come by tomorrow night," she said softly. "After that, I'll probably have to move some things around at work... the Christmas gifts start piling up right away." She paused and asked the group, "Is there anyone you want me to bring?"
"Perhaps some of your leopards, ma petite, if it is not too much trouble," Jean-Claude said. "If we can test them a little, that may provide us with answers."
"What about Asher?" Richard asked. "Why hasn't he been all... messed up like us?"
"I think he's a catalyst," Willow said softly, after thinking about it for a moment. She looked at the blond vampire and smiled softly. "A link in our chain that helps the reactions or developments between us. Maybe he's the one that's allowed this thing to morph into whatever we may have. Maybe he helps us all fit together. But, it's not unimportant. He's important to us... to the pentumvirate. We don't need to know exactly how yet."
Asher ducked his head slightly. "Mon colibri..."
"Elle a raison, mon chardonneret," Jean-Claude insisted.
"I think she's right, too," Anita agreed.
Richard nodded slowly. "Maybe... I don't know. I try not to think about it... but with five of us tied together... and with these changes..."
"Exactly," Willow whispered, while looking at her blond lover. She smiled and he smiled back; she wondered if he believed her or if he was simply humouring her. She decided to let it go, until a time when they could talk privately; then she kissed Richard's forehead again. "Think I can get a dance from you when you're feeling better?"
"Maybe," he whispered back, after a sigh.
"Do I get another dance?" Asher inquired.
Willow smiled more. "If you ask nicely," she stipulated.
The vampire smirked. "I will ask very nicely."
The witch believed him. She didn't think she'd be fit for public interaction afterwards, but she was certain he would be very pleasantly persuasive if she even considered resisting him.
AUTHOR: 38gnihsurc
RATING: en.sea.xvii overall
PAIRINGS: All the pairings from the previous two stories---and some new ones, too
SPOILERS: Up until Micah for AB; the whole TV series for the Buffyverse; Alive at Last and Living Underground.
WARNINGS: A little bit of fur... bdsm... the usuals for Anita's crazy, crazy world.
DISCLAIMER: I don't own anyone---except for any original characters that I whip up to do my bidding ;)
NOTE: This story is a sequel to Living Underground.
Previous chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9-11
Aha, I managed to get another chapter done!
PART TWELVE
"Ah, ma petite," Jean-Claude murmured as he turned his body so he, too, was leaning against the brick building, "it is lovely that you and mon loup could join us."
"Save the sweet talk," Anita shot back as she shoved her hands into her suit jacket's pockets and marched towards them. "What were you doing out here?"
"Looking for my témoin," the Master of the City said. He mimicked her a bit by putting his hands on his hips. "I caught the tail end of his human servant performing a very lovely service for him." He smirked and tilted his head; some of the remaining sparkles shimmered in the light from the security lamps. "One you enjoy quite often, ma petite." He shrugged, but it wasn't a casual gesture as his shrugs usually were. It was staged, used to inflict something upon the necromancer, who blushed and looked down at the ground for a brief moment. Willow wasn't entirely sure what was going on. "I felt his pleasure and I wished to hold him while he recovered," Jean-Claude continued. "Will you begrudge me that?"
Anita frowned. "I saw you kissing Willow."
"You saw me kissing her cheeks. You also saw us putting distance between each other." Jean-Claude arched an eyebrow. "What have I done wrong, Anita?"
The Executioner's eyes darkened. She frowned and sighed. "That isn't what it looked like," she muttered.
"Some trust would be appreciated. We are both adults, even in this new, trying time."
Richard's brow furrowed. "What d'you mean, Jean-Claude?"
The vampire sighed and straightened his shoulders. "Surely you have noticed it, mon loup." He brushed his fingers against the hem of his shirt as if he was flicking away lint or a stray thread---but Willow knew neither would be on his clothes. "Ma petite and the others have noticed."
Willow frowned. "You mean... my touchy-feeliness."
"Exactement."
Anita frowned, again, too. "You think this is... what? A modified strain of the ardeur?"
Jean-Claude gave a much more graceful shrug. "You had been given that hunger once we were bonded, once... certain powers were shared. It has not been that long since we shared our powers and opened our shields to each other." He paused and said, "We have seen both you and Willow enraptured by mon loup, and while he is charming... and while you both love him dearly... ma petite, have you noticed that you two have not once argued the way you are so often prone to do?" He paused for effect and let the words sink into Anita's mind. "I already am aware that you've noticed how much more tactile ma chérie is becoming. I have noticed how my hungers increase when I am with you or near our witch. It is..."
"Like we're playing off each other," Willow said quietly when Jean-Claude trailed off to find the right group of words.
"You said as much moments ago," Asher murmured while putting his arms around her. He pressed his lips to her flushed forehead; she appreciated the gesture because it cooled and comforted her simultaneously. "Perhaps it is feeding, mon colibri."
Willow slid her hand along Asher's arm. "Like if I'm increasing or mirroring the effects of..." she trailed off and sighed. "But, that doesn't explain why I can suddenly feel Dawn's emotions and know what she's feeling---"
"Fuck."
"Well said, ma petite." Jean-Claude turned to Asher and Willow, but he looked at the redhead when he spoke. "We had discovered that Anita's version of l'ardeur allows her to see inside the hearts of those she embraces. Micah came to her that way. She wanted a less complicated lover, she wanted support, she wanted a partner she could share daily pleasures with---"
"But---"
Jean-Claude smiled at cut Willow off with his own words. "True, we love each other. But, can you see us, sharing a bed daily, cooking together, watching movies together?"
"I think you'd try it if you were offered the chance," Willow replied.
"But, forever?"
Willow smiled. "I can't see you leaving the Circus, or giving up constantly redecorating and redefining your living space."
He tilted his head as his smile stretched. "I would drive her, as she puts it, 'out of her mind.'"
"Maybe," Willow conceded.
"Et, alors, while she was wanting those things, he in turn wanted a safe haven for his pard. He wanted someone to protect him and his own from Chimera. L'ardeur made it so. And when votre chaton first became her pomme de sang, he wanted to be loved for more than what he could endure or provide with his body. She resisted the final steps of their---"
"Enough, Jean-Claude, we get it."
Willow looked at both Richard and Anita, who had spoken at the same time. She fought her smile easily because she was more curious than amused.
"What did Richard get out of it?"
"Ah, the exception to the rule," Jean-Claude said.
Asher muttered under his breath: "As always."
The witch nudged the blond vampire with her elbow against his ribs. At the same time, the necromancer put a hand on the Ulfric's chest before the Ulfric could say anything in retaliation.
The Master of the City ignored both men and turned his focus back to Willow. "Since his deepest desire was to be human again, it was out of l'ardeur's grips. However, I believe something has changed."
"He wants a wife," Willow said quietly. She knew Richard couldn't give up easily on his dream of a house with children and a dog. Willow loved him, but she wasn't always sure that his ideals were practical. "He wants a partner... and that's why... we were so wrapped up in him. It's not romantic as much as it's supportive. Mine is strictly emotional. Anita's is deep desires. Yours is... what? Lust?"
Jean-Claude put a finger to his pinkish lips. "I believe it is more complicated than that, ma chérie."
"Why?"
Anita was the one that spoke first. "Because he's an incubus and I'm a succubus. Male and female... different. We do some of the same things to feed, but... there are some differences in mythology that may explain why you guys are reacting."
"Like?" Willow asked.
"Like, an incubus forces desire onto someone... or eases them into it... or whatever. But, it's an act that puts their desire on the other person. Scholars think its definition is better put as "something that oppresses," than anything else. In a way, they're right," the black-haired woman said. She looked at Jean-Claude with a gentle expression on her face. "I'm not accusing you, Jean-Claude. I love you."
"Je t'aime, aussi, mais tu as raison." He paused and moved his hair over one shoulder with a precise, slight flick of his head. "You are a succubus. Your nature is to draw repressed feelings out of your so-called victims. Perhaps, while I impose my feelings upon another."
Richard shook his head and then tugged on the skirt he was still (miraculously) wearing. "I don't get what this has to do with me and Willow," he told them.
"I've been drawing feelings out of people," Willow said to him. "I touched Dawn and I could feel how happy she was to know how Jason felt about her... and at the same, I could feel how sad she was because he cares about her so much. When I touch Asher, it's like... our marks are stronger. I feel warmer. I don't know. I knew what he wanted me to do... when we were doing stuff." She blushed. Asher smothered a chuckle into her hair and she pressed onward. "But, with you, too... our conversations are more eye-opening than they've been in a while. Maybe that's my fault. Maybe I'm drawing things out of you."
"Yeah, but when Anita has the ardeur, she needs to---"
"To what, Richard?"
He sighed. "Look, Anita, it's sexual with you. It starts sexual, it ends sexual. Willow isn't describing something based on lust or someone's sex drive, so how do you know it's the same thing?"
"It's her power, Richard," Anita said, looking at him while motioning towards the witch. "When we bonded... when we opened the marks, do you remember how her energy felt? I'll never forget it. It wasn't cold or scary or... well, it didn't make me think about the grave or sex. It was like a warm blanket and a fireplace or... hot chocolate and ice skating. It was comfort. It wasn't lust."
Willow frowned. "So, I'm feeding off of people's emotions?" she asked, not liking the way it sounded. "What'll I do if I don't get 'em? Go crazy?"
"Hungry," Anita suggested. "But I don't think it's like stealing their emotions. More like bringing them to the surface."
"Am I taking energy from it?"
She shrugged. "I don't know. It might just be so gradual, throughout the day and night... that you don't gorge on energy all at once."
"Grazing as opposed to feasting," she said.
Anita nodded. "Maybe. Does it feel different when you touch a human versus a vampire or lycanthrope?"
"Most people I touch are connected to me in some way. Dawn and Faith are the only ones... really, so it's hard to know. It may be because Dawn was the Key and Faith's a slayer. How do we know?" she asked.
Asher rubbed Willow's shoulder. "We test."
"Test?" Willow echoed.
Jean-Claude nodded. "Oui. Since it is not lust you feed upon, it may be a relatively safe process. We can ask for two or three of each group, perhaps. Some powerful, some not. And you can test yourself this way, under supervision."
"No sex," Willow stipulated.
"Non, if that is what you wish," Jean-Claude said with a little smile which told Willow that he would not mind sampling such delightful wares if he were in her shoes. "But, I believe it is best if we test this new blade before it slices us."
The witch understood him. She believed he was correct, but she wasn't sure she wanted to be the one who tasted the emotions of so many people. Part of her hoped it was something she had gained because she was becoming a powerful witch---an empath, maybe---or because she was with so many people she loved and she couldn't help but feel what they were feeling.
"How can you be so sure I have some sort of residual ardeur power?" Richard asked when they lapsed into silence. "How come Asher doesn't have one?"
"Perhaps it is only something Jean-Claude can share with humans," Asher shot back, "or perhaps l'ardeur has deemed by body an unworthy vessel? There could be many reasons." He snarled at the Ulfric. "At least I am not bending women to my will!"
"I am not!"
Anita and Willow both looked at Richard. They both wanted to say something, but neither knew how to say it. Willow felt like the words were on the tip of her tongue---it was as if she knew what was wrong but could not give breath to her voice. The more she looked at Richard, those words melted off of her tongue and dripped away.
Just as she started to slip out of Asher's arms---most likely, she guessed, with the intent to take Richard's hand in hers---she realised what she was doing and she shook her head. Anita, too, seemed to be struggling free of something.
"When it was Belle Morte, it felt like my insides were taffy, being pulled and warmed," Willow said quietly. "Allura's was the same. I've felt bits of Jean-Claude's from being at Guilty Pleasures, and it's more like swimming in cool lake water on a warm night. This... this feels like... walking through vines or cobwebs... something that wants to hold me in place."
"Vines," Anita agreed. "A warm garden or jungle."
"Kinda, yeah," Willow said with a nod.
Richard's eyes widened and then narrowed. "I... you mean, I'm making you---"
"No!" Willow said quickly. "We both love you for different reasons, and that was before we opened our shields to each other. It's like... tonight, you've been insecure---and no one is judging you---but I've felt sort of drawn to you all night, whenever I can see you."
"Me, too," Anita admitted. "And we haven't been fighting. I've just been... we've been agreeing with each other."
The Ulfric frowned. "But, we want to get along."
The black-haired woman nodded. "Yeah. I hate fighting with you. It's been nice to have a peaceful night with you---"
"So, why is this wrong?"
"We're not saying it's wrong, mon loup," Jean-Claude insisted. "Merely something you need to be careful with."
"Why?"
Jean-Claude arched an eyebrow. "Coercision is illegal, if magical powers are used."
"There's actually a little wiggle room there," Willow said quietly. "It states witchcraft and its relatives, plus vampire powers... but I don't know how the ardeur qualifies."
Anita rolled her eyes and crossed her arms. Jean-Claude fought to hide a little smile as he looked to the witch and said, "But, of course, it would be wrong."
Willow smiled and nodded. "I know. I'm not saying we should go out and take over the city, using the ardeur as our weapon. Hell, I don't want a city at all. But, I don't know how the law classifies something that... is its own entity."
"Oh, you can't believe that," Richard scoffed.
The witch nodded. "I can. I do. It's been... sort of working through us. Going from one to another, getting what it wants and needs." She shrugged. "How is it not an entity of its own?"
He grunted. "And so now, it's one more beast in my head," he muttered. "Just great."
"Richard, I don't think it's like that," Anita said quietly. "You'll be okay. You just need to learn what it does."
"So it can control me?" he asked. "Look at what it's done to you!"
Anita scowled. "Just what are you trying to say?"
"If he---" Richard pointed at Jean-Claude, who had inched closer to Asher a moment before the Ulfric spoke. "---hadn't meddled, we'd be married! He'd be in his crypt, and we'd be married! We wouldn't be in this mess!"
Willow tried not to stiffen in Asher's gentle embrace. She tried not to let Richard's words get to her, but she couldn't ignore what he had said. Jean-Claude seemed to notice, for he reached behind his body and put his hand over hers as it rested against Asher's hip. Willow accepted the contact and she closed her eyes, letting both vampires offer their silent support.
Richard gasped and cursed under his breath. He made to move for Willow, but Jean-Claude and Asher shielded her from him; Anita stepped in front of the Ulfric, and she received a loud growl for her efforts.
"I can't believe you just said that, Richard," Anita said quietly, a gentle contrast to Richard's growl.
"I can, ma petite," Jean-Claude said. "For it is you that he had first, all to himself. Clouded by this power, his subconscious and conscious are warring... his mind is warring with his heart."
"How does he feed it?" Anita asked. "How does he stop the... um, the war?"
"We need to know for what he is desiring," Asher told the necromancer. "Is it simply marriage? Is it safety? Is it acceptance? What is Richard's true nature? These things need to be put into consideration first."
"He wants family... he wants safety and love... but not necessarily in a sex sort of way. His true nature is to protect and defend. It's like the emotional stuff I feel when I make contact with people."
Everyone turned to look at Willow.
"Well, it is," she said as she looked back at everyone.
Richard whimpered---the most submissive sound Willow had ever heard coming out of the werewolf king's mouth---and he dropped to his knees before he crawled forward. He managed to move around Jean-Claude and when he was in front of the redheaded witch, he put his face against her thighs.
"I didn't mean---"
Willow put her free hand on Richard's head and she stroked it through his hair. "Yeah, you did," she murmured, cutting him off. "Part of you did, anyway. But, you have to decide if your present's less valuable than your past because I can't help you with---"
"N-no!"
The word was broken and rough. There had been no time to polish a response or insistence. Its effect was better that way, though, because it nearly broke Willow's heart.
Richard lifted his head and looked at her. His eyes were filled with tears but they hadn't spilled over onto his cheeks.
"I'm sorry," he whispered hoarsely. He sat back on his heels and swallowed a lump in his throat before he tilted his head to one side and moved his hair away from his neck. Asher and Jean-Claude stiffened; Anita gasped. "Please, Willow. You're my Lupa. We've been blessed and I never want to lose you or what we share."
"The last time we did this, my wolf nearly escaped my body," Willow reminded him shakily.
He nodded. "I know, but... I offer my neck... my flesh and blood... to you, Lupa, to repair the damage between us that I caused."
Willow couldn't resist. She remembered how it felt at Danse Macabre and before she knew it, she was dropping to her knees and she was smoothing her hands over Richard's arms and shoulders. She flung open her shields as she licked Richard's neck; she wanted and needed the apology, but she felt the others needed it, too. When she bit down, she felt the other three in her head. When Richard's blood seeped into her mouth, she knew the other three were tasting it, too.
The Ulfric whimpered again. For the second time in a few minutes, Willow marveled at how the alpha male broke down under her touch. She realised that she could forgive what he had said earlier. She realised that he didn't break down his defenses for just anyone---that she was the woman for the Ulfric, while he chose Anita as the woman for the teacher, and that the man and beast would always war with each other like his mind would war with his heart.
She didn't drink much blood. She didn't need to because his offer of his neck was enough of an apology.
When she lifted her head, Asher hauled her to her feet and kissed her until she couldn't breathe. He licked every trace of the blood away and when he pulled back, his hands gripping her arms, she hung limply in his hold. He stole one more quick kiss and then, as Richard's arms sought Willow's waist, he released her.
Willow whimpered and managed to hug the Ulfric as he embraced her. She felt Asher behind her, brushing his hand over her head and neck. She was aware of Anita behind Richard; she could feel the other woman's hands brushing her arms occasionally. She sensed Jean-Claude was close by and she guessed he was between Anita and Asher.
"I didn't mean it," Richard whispered. "I was just so scared and frustrated and... I still am, but the thought of hurting you---"
"Shhh," Willow whispered back. She rubbed her hands up and down his spine. "I know," she murmured. "But, when you're scared and angry, you need to take a deep breath and then let us know what you're feeling. If you lash out, you're going to hurt everyone, and nothing's gonna get figured out. If you let us in, we can help."
He nodded and kissed her cheek after burrowing his nose and mouth into her hair. Her braid was loosening and she could feel strands of hair slipping out of the plait.
"I'll try," he whispered hoarsely. "But, I hate this sometimes. It's not what I had planned for my life and---"
"Our plans are allowed to change," Anita interrupted gently. "You seem to struggle with this more than everyone else here, but you're not alone. You don't need to cope on your own. Willow's right."
The witch smiled as she looked up at the necromancer. "Kills you to admit it, huh?" she teased.
Anita and Jean-Claude chuckled. Richard snuffled, his laughter to teary to be anything else. Asher's fingers tightened on Willow's shoulders.
"Not on this," Anita said, still smiling. She kissed the top of Richard's head. "C'mon, let's get you two out of the dirt. We'll sit on the steps and talk for a little while."
The werewolf king nodded and he allowed Anita and Jean-Claude to hoist him up to his feet. Asher gathered Willow into his arms.
A moment later, Willow was sitting on the steps that led to the door. Richard was sitting next to her, his head resting on her shoulder while Jean-Claude licked the blood from his wound. Asher had already had his fill from Willow's mouth; he was standing in front of them, Anita in his arms. No one was completely relaxed, but the mood was considerably less tense than it had been a little while ago.
"What does this mean?" Richard asked, his eyes less human than they had been before Willow bit his neck.
"It appears as if you and mon colibri are a matching pair, as are Anita and mon corbeau," Asher said. "Succubus and incubus. L'ardeur seems to have divided into physical desires and emotional desires. It is all love, but it is different forms of it." He shrugged when Jean-Claude lifted his head and looked at him. "Do you think I am mistaken?"
The Master of the City shrugged. "There may be something to your theory, mon chardonneret."
"How do we prove it?" Anita asked.
"We will have to test it," Jean-Claude said. "Among ourselves, of course, at first."
"When?" Willow asked. "Buffy's coming in a few days."
Jean-Claude leaned forward so he could see Willow. "Do you want to leave this discovery untested during the slayer's visit?" he inquired. "If this is permanent, if this is what we suspect it is, do you want to leave it unstudied while you attempt to bond again with your friend?"
Willow frowned. "You know I don't. That could... be bad. Emotion is just as bad as lust and desire, when abused." She paused and then added: "If this is what it is."
"Oui," Asher agreed. "It could be fluke. But, it could be more... we should discover what this means."
"I have a few days of vacation left," Richard mumbled. "Maybe I should stay at the Circus until we figure it out?"
"That may be a good idea, mon loup," Jean-Claude said. "Should I tell Jason to clean his room?"
The Ulfric shook his head. "I'll stay wherever other wolves are crashing," he replied.
"Jason and I sleep with them," Willow reminded him unnecessarily.
He nodded. "I know. If there's enough room... maybe I'll crash with you... if it's okay?"
Willow smiled and kissed his forehead. "You know it's okay," she murmured.
Anita sighed and accepted a kiss from Asher. "I'll come by tomorrow night," she said softly. "After that, I'll probably have to move some things around at work... the Christmas gifts start piling up right away." She paused and asked the group, "Is there anyone you want me to bring?"
"Perhaps some of your leopards, ma petite, if it is not too much trouble," Jean-Claude said. "If we can test them a little, that may provide us with answers."
"What about Asher?" Richard asked. "Why hasn't he been all... messed up like us?"
"I think he's a catalyst," Willow said softly, after thinking about it for a moment. She looked at the blond vampire and smiled softly. "A link in our chain that helps the reactions or developments between us. Maybe he's the one that's allowed this thing to morph into whatever we may have. Maybe he helps us all fit together. But, it's not unimportant. He's important to us... to the pentumvirate. We don't need to know exactly how yet."
Asher ducked his head slightly. "Mon colibri..."
"Elle a raison, mon chardonneret," Jean-Claude insisted.
"I think she's right, too," Anita agreed.
Richard nodded slowly. "Maybe... I don't know. I try not to think about it... but with five of us tied together... and with these changes..."
"Exactly," Willow whispered, while looking at her blond lover. She smiled and he smiled back; she wondered if he believed her or if he was simply humouring her. She decided to let it go, until a time when they could talk privately; then she kissed Richard's forehead again. "Think I can get a dance from you when you're feeling better?"
"Maybe," he whispered back, after a sigh.
"Do I get another dance?" Asher inquired.
Willow smiled more. "If you ask nicely," she stipulated.
The vampire smirked. "I will ask very nicely."
The witch believed him. She didn't think she'd be fit for public interaction afterwards, but she was certain he would be very pleasantly persuasive if she even considered resisting him.