have you ever felt something so strong and you are truly speechless ( Read more... )

I dont miss the anger,
i dont miss the violence,
i dont miss the drinking,
i dont miss the saddness,
and i definetly dont miss the bad days.

but six months later and i still miss you.
everything that you put me through. violence, court, complete betryal.
i miss you.
the sober you, the non angry you. i miss the companionship, i miss cooking you dinner, i ( Read more... )

so not only am i living well in my first appartment

i...

got my liscense back,

bought a car,

am loving school,

got a job,

and best of al....

got accepted to suicide girls.

my life is about to change in every aspect. ive never felt more sucessful in my life.
i really hope things keep looking up. its been a long time.

so im soon to be turning 21, not that old, right?
so why is it that i feel that finding the love of my life are quickly diminishing?
everyone i know has someone to wake up 2.
wheres my night in shining armor?

 so, in the past four months ive attended 6 funerals

...and on monday 7.
is it gonna stop pouring soon?  
im begging for it.

who needs boston. i have what i need now. though living with my parents, not so cool. but ill just adapt, re-adjust myself to life back home.

....this is gonna blow.

cancer?

bring it on.

 so there's good, there's bad and there's the ugly.

the bad:  i realized today when traci was taking her medicine (all of three pills all of which she had to take one at a time) that i can swallow 7 pills at once. That lead to the realization that i have been so fucking sick for so fucking long. It blows.

the good: today, i found a beautiful appt ( Read more... )

there is no other way to decribe you other than to say...
you suck, you suck so bad.
you make me realize who real people really are.
oh, and i hate you too : )

 my final moment of disaster. 
so that's what its  like, it all just blows up. 
no warning.
what else do you do?