I gotta be honest... I've been feeling rather depressed. Not 'a little down on my luck' depressed, but 'close to feeling suicidal' depressed. I stopped seeing my therapist almost six months ago, and I plan to see another one in January. I thought I was handling things well, but I guess I'm not ( Read more... )

I haven't been around lately. Too much crap has been going on.
The good news, though, is that I won NaNoWriMo this year. I almost didn't make it and would have been sad if I didn't. Anyway, I'm still in the mist of some shit, so when I'm feeling more like myself, then I'll give a proper update.

I apologize for not being around. I miss you

Two more days of work, and then I'll have two days off! Yippee! Yesterday I was off, and before that I worked six days straight. On the fifth day I worked from 5am to 6pm... I wanted to die! I mean, I've done that before (I've done a few 5am-8:30pms at the other store), but I don't ever want to do that again! I was so overwhelmed! No one was ( Read more... )

Life is wearing me out; I'm tired as hell. I'm getting by, though. For the past few weeks I've been reading a bunch of self-help books and working on the exercises in them. I was reading a lot on spirituality, but now I'm working on the PTSD and the other problems. I've been learning a lot, so we'll see how this goes ( Read more... )

I've been rather stressed lately. I care not to list the reasons why at the moment since I'm tired and I'm pressing for time right now (still no damn internet at my house, and the computer time at the library is timed). I think I'm becoming depressed again. I'm trying hard to fight it, though. I just can't endure another episode, especially not ( Read more... )

Tomorrow I should call that health center and make an appointment with a psychologist ( Read more... )

If I had a gun, I'd probably murder my parents and then murder myself. I can't continue to live like this. The only choice that I have is to kill myself or to move the fuck out. I need to call someone now...*tears*

I want to overdose on my sleeping pills so badly. My doctor put me on 5mg, and I eventually increased it to 20mg. Now I want to go to 30mg. I've just been self-destructive and suicidal lately. Things would be better if I would sleep all day or be in a coma. My life really sucks right now. I can't even afford a psychologist, and I really want ( Read more... )

Okay. I am now home from school (which I ended up withdrawing from anyway). Home with my parents is where the hell is. My school is in Indiana and I live in Illinois so my dad had to come get me and that's a 4hr. drive. For the record, it's very easy for me to automatically become suicidal when I'm near my dad (that's a long story). In the car ( Read more... )

I felt really shitty today.
I stopped taking my meds a while ago.
I felt that I would lose my mind.
I didn't want to have another panic attack.
I felt that I would lose my mind.
I'm pretty scared.
I felt that I would lose my mind.

I cut my arm up. I had to see blood...a lot of it. Now I'm on LJ.
I feel better now.