June 19, 2006-The last time I cut myself ( Read more... )

I want to overdose on my sleeping pills so badly. My doctor put me on 5mg, and I eventually increased it to 20mg. Now I want to go to 30mg. I've just been self-destructive and suicidal lately. Things would be better if I would sleep all day or be in a coma. My life really sucks right now. I can't even afford a psychologist, and I really want ( Read more... )

I felt really shitty today.
I stopped taking my meds a while ago.
I felt that I would lose my mind.
I didn't want to have another panic attack.
I felt that I would lose my mind.
I'm pretty scared.
I felt that I would lose my mind.

I cut my arm up. I had to see blood...a lot of it. Now I'm on LJ.
I feel better now.

Well, I am withdrawing from school. I couldn't take it anymore after that horrible panic attack I had a few weeks ago. I felt like I wasn't experiencing reality anymore until that one day when I got really anxious and cut myself. That was so pleasant. After bleeding for a while I felt "real" again. The "real" feeling only lasted for a few days ( Read more... )